


The Captive

by toggledog



Series: The Captive [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Bad Sex, Bondage, Canonical Character Death, Child Death, Declarations Of Love, Drunk Sex, Dysfunctional Relationships, Falling In Love, Guilt, Hot Sex, Lust at First Sight, M/M, Male Friendship, Mind Rape, Minor Character Death, Non-Consensual Groping, Non-Consensual Touching, POV Alternating, Physical Abuse, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Premature Ejaculation, Rimming, Rough Sex, Self-Harm, Slut Shaming, Smut, Star Wars: The Force Awakens Spoilers, Suicide Attempt, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Torture, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-08 08:43:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 88,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5490953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toggledog/pseuds/toggledog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seeing Leia, in Poe's mind, causes Kylo to stumble back, his mask suddenly feeling constrictive, suffocating. He throws it off and turns back to Poe, who is now looking at his now naked face with surprise and something else... a feeling that Kylo reciprocates (unlike the times he deliberately gives his body to the easily manipulated Hux).  Even though Poe is aware of the ludicrousness of the situation, the handsome pilot wants him, and Kylo knows, that he is not able to resist taking the beautiful body that Poe is offering so freely.</p><p>Or, put simply, Kylo and Poe have great sex, while Poe is tied to the torture rack, then happen to meet up again on Jakku.</p><p>Intimacy with the enemy is turning out to be more pleasant than the rather unhealthy relationship Kylo has with the increasingly jealous and possessive Hux. It doesn't exactly help Kylo's already pretty messed up state-of-mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

For a long moment, the two adversaries stared at each other. Kylo's eyes lingered on the handsome face, a charge zapping through body, that he had not felt in a long time. It occurred to him, that the man on his knees before him, was in the perfect position for more than just showing submission to him.

No. He knew that he should not consider such trivialities. The longing of the flesh was merely a distraction, from his greater destiny.

“Are you talking first? Or am I? Who's supposed to talk first?" The man started quipping.

So, humour it was, then. An ill-advised attempt at bravery. Knowing what was to come, Kylo could almost feel pity for the poor, wretched soul.

Kylo again took in the tousled dark hair and strong jawline. Yes, such a pretty man. It felt a shame that Kylo would have to break him.

*

Prolonged torture had not destroyed Poe Dameron. Kylo had expected no less, from the brave pilot. As Kylo stepped up to the one tied to the upright torture rack, he displayed a cockiness that Kylo was starting to realise was a major part of his character. He would not give up where the map was; would never betray the resistance.

At least not willingly.

Initially, as Kylo forced himself into Poe's mind, he literally placed a barrier up to block him, a giant wall, made of titanium. Kylo felt almost bemused by the simple attempt to thwart him. As Kylo easily dismantled the barrier, Poe started to scream, sweat dripping down his face, as he attempted, clumsily, to rebuild, adding block after block on soon to be utterly demolished wall. Quickly discarding his first tactic, Poe then shot images at Kylo, writhing bodies, engaged in all manner of sexuality. Men with women, women with women, men with men. Kylo saw Poe, himself, engaged, amongst a sea of bodies.

_Interesting distraction_ , he pushed the thought into Poe's mind. _But it will not work, with me._

He casually pushed the images aside. Poe now threw other, more random images at him; an ocean, a series of planets, a young, curly-haired child, smiling at a multicoloured insect crawling up his arm. Kylo lingered on this one, momentarily, with interest, before casting it aside.

A shoe, a pilot's uniform, a series of different space craft, sitting in a row together, an exhilarated looking Poe, seated in a cockpit, a field of flowers. The images kept coming. Kylo easily pushed them aside. They started to slow down.

An exploded space craft.

Poe was clearly tiring. His face was now dripping with sweat, tears coursing down his cheeks.

A teen-aged Poe, running up to the burning metal, screaming a name over and over.

Kylo was almost there, he could feel it.

A voice, familiar somehow. “He was a brave man, your father.”

A woman, arms clasped around Poe, dark hair, warm eyes.

_No._

Kylo suddenly felt himself start to lose grip of Poe's mind. Seeming to sense this, Poe clamped down onto the image.

The woman's eyes held an almost serene sadness.

“I know how it feels, to have loss,” she said.

Kylo tried to grip tighter, to the mind, only it was coming back again.

The light, beckoning.

He screamed with rage, as Poe's mind suddenly completely closed for him.

_No, no no._

He stumbled away from the now gasping captive, turning his back on him.

_No. Must. Have. Control._

When he last saw her, she had the same sadness in her eyes, that she held when looking at Poe, in the memory. But there had been humour there once. Yes, and also love.

The light, again.

A flash suddenly came to him. Her, holding him up in the air, laughing.

“Ben, my beautiful little boy!”

He suddenly felt as though he was suffocating, the mask was constricting around his face, pressure cutting into his skin. It would keep pulling, tighter and tighter, until it sawed through his flesh, through his bones. Kylo hastily tore the mask off, throwing it to the ground.

_I need to... need to... Need control._

Poe's mind was now naturally opening a little for him. He only felt snatches of emotion, of thought; curiosity, bewilderment.

He turned around, to face Poe. The brown eyes widened, a little, then Poe's thoughts pierced his brain.

_He's younger than I expected, a lot younger._

_Damn, and he's quite striking looking._

The emotion then hit; the same charge that Kylo had felt, upon seeing the pilot, for the first time.

_Don't go there, Poe. What is wrong with you? This guy is the enemy._

Only the emotion was coming in stronger, almost in waves off the pilot.

Kylo stepped closer to Poe, feeling his own body start to tremble, an odd anticipation overcoming his frazzled nerves. His mind momentarily went to what he had been taught; the longing of the flesh was merely a distraction. Do not be fooled.

Perhaps Hux should take heed of that advice, he thought, thinking of the distraction his own body gave to the general. It seemed an easy choice to make; his body, for power. Often times, as Hux grunted on top of him, he would think about how pathetic this man was, sating his lusts in exchange for the control that he would so often subvert to Kylo.

Yes, Kylo was rather content with the arrangement between himself and Hux. As far as he saw it, he put up with a few minutes of the general slobbering over him, every night, in return for far greater rewards. It was almost amusing, the thought that the general actually thought that he held the power, in their relationship. Kylo knew, that if he truly wanted, he could use the force to destroy Hux's body, or mind, depending on how generous he felt. But, no, Hux had his uses... for the time being.

He held no attraction towards Hux, forcing him out of his bed as soon as the intimacy was over. Initially, Hux seemed resentful of this. But he soon demurred to Kylo's will.

Poe, however was different. Watching the dilated pupils, the shuddered breath, he was forced to concede what he had realised, the instant that the young pilot was forced, on his knees before him on Jakku. Kylo would not overcome his yearning for the thrill of his flesh.

He moved even closer, standing so close to the pilot that he could feel his body heat. The dark eyes stared into his, the emotion coming off Poe now so strong that he barely even needed to use the force, to feel it. He felt it, every night, with Hux, but this time was different. This time, it was very much reciprocated.

Kylo reached up and gently moved his hand towards Poe's face. He did not flinch, as Kylo rested his fingers on his cheek.

“Such beautiful eyes,” he said.

“You're pretty delectable, yourself,” Poe said. A stray thought, from Poe entered Kylo's mind.

_Why did you say that? This is crazy. Just crazy._

Both continued to stare at each other a long moment. Poe's thoughts were blocked from him, until another suddenly entered his mind.

_It's absolute nuts, but I want him. Now._

Feeling the frisson zap down to the one area of his body, that barely felt such sensation, even with Hux, Kylo moved forward and brought his lips together, with Poe's. Instantly, Poe moaned, slipping his tongue into Kylo's mouth. As they duelled tongues, it felt electric, a little wrong but oh so right. Hux was all slobber and teeth, but Poe seemed to know how to use his tongue, to create a friction that Kylo felt right down to his feet.

They released, both panting.

“Get on your knees,” Poe said. It came across like more of a suggestion. Even so, Kylo automatically obeyed, unzipping the pilot's pants and boxers and pulling them down his thighs. The pilot's erection weeped in front of him, and he felt a spike of pleasure in his stomach, at the thought of touching it, taking it into his mouth. With Hux, it always felt mechanical, much as when the general's mouth was on his own erection, a prelude to the always lacklustre main event. He gripped the strong thighs and moved his head forward, taking the sturdy flesh into his mouth. It felt thicker than Hux's. Poe's moans urged him to move, bobbing his head up and down, his own erection neglected between his thighs. Poe's mind was completely closed to him again, and he found that he no longer cared. All that mattered was this flesh in his mouth, the feel of the muscles under his hands.

Only it wasn't enough. He needed more.

Kylo abruptly pulled away, unfastening Poe's legs. He half expected Poe to attempt to kick him, instead, he simply watched him, lust clear in his eyes, as he he pulled the pants and boxers all the way off.

“I want you,” Kylo said, sticking two fingers into his mouth and licking them.

“Yes,” Poe said, starting to pant. Kylo gently slid one of the digits up inside him.

“I want to have you, but only if you want it. I am no rapist,” Kylo said, as he gently started to move the long finger in and out of the opening.

Poe laughed. “So you'll torture and kill hundreds of thousands, maybe millions but stop at physical rape? You've already violated my mind.”

Kylo withdrew his finger from within Poe. “That was merely a means to an end. I took no pleasure in it, nor the murder of the villagers on Jakku. It was merely necessary, to complete our operation.”

“You seemed to take great pleasure in striking down Lor San Tekka,” Poe said.

“Yes, well that was more of a... personal relationship,” Kylo did not wish to discuss the matter any further. He turned, back towards where he had flung the mask.

“I didn't tell you to stop,” Poe said, the cockiness reappearing, in his voice.

Kylo faced him again, considering whether to not submit to Poe's arrogance. The pilot held a triumphant look. Kylo reached forward and ran a hand through his soft curls. It seemed incredible that one as handsome and charming as Poe, would look upon him with such lust in his eyes.

“You want me?” Kylo asked.

“You do realise that this is completely screwed up, from both our sides? Yes, I want you.”

Kylo tenderly moved his finger into the opening, once more.

“What do you want me to do?” Kylo said, as he moved his long finger up to brush up against Poe's prostate. The pilot gasped.

_Yes, that's it!_ Kylo ran a hand through the dark curls again, leaning forward to suck on his shoulder, as he gradually added more fingers, deliberately curling them up, to repeatedly press into Poe's prostate.

“I want you to have me. Right up against this... Take me... hard.”

Kylo groaned, continuing to brush up against his prostate, as he leant forward, to take his mouth, once more. Disjointed thoughts suddenly filled his mind, from the pilot.

_I shouldn't be doing this but I don't care._  
_Yes, yes... keep going._

Kylo heard a different tone of moan and realised that it was coming from his own larynx. He started to widen his fingers, tenderly stretching the opening.

“You want me to have you,” he asked again, releasing from the pilot's mouth, to murmur against his neck.

“Yes, yes I want you. Do it. But leave...”

Kylo pulled back.

“Leave the outfit on.”

“You're very naughty you know,” he couldn’t resist saying.

“I know,” a smirk overcame Poe's handsome face.

Kylo released his fingers and rearranged his outfit, to take out his own erection, grabbing Poe's legs and flinging them up, over his shoulders.

“Is this alright?”

“Asking if I’m alright... you know, that isn't exactly what I would have imagined a darth lord wannabe, on the brink of pounding me into oblivion, would have said.”

“Fine then, I take that as a yes,” Kylo slowly slid into him, until he was buried to the hilt. He could see, from Poe's face, some discomfort. To some credit, Hux was always gentle with Kylo, waiting, as Kylo was doing now, for the initial discomfort to ease, before starting to thrust within him. However, Hux never grabbed Kylo's erection and stroked, as Kylo now did with Poe, too focused on his own pleasure, to care about Kylo's.

Poe started to moan.

“Yes, yes...” He whispered.

Kylo started to move, slowly, allowing Poe to adjust to him. Soon, Poe was starting to move with him thrusting forward in time with his thrusts. Kylo started to pick up speed, moaning, hearing Poe's own groans of pleasure. He could feel Poe's heat and tightness, surrounding him, the delicious friction. He leant forward and started nuzzling Poe's neck, one free hand freely reaching under his uniform shirt to stroke his stomach, his sides, to pinch at his nipples. Poe's moans grew louder. Poe, of course, could not move his hands to touch Kylo back. There was something utterly erotic about the fact that he had the handsome pilot completely in his thrall. He swirled his tongue over his neck, and brought it up to his ear, sucking on the lobe. The torture bed thudding with their movements, slowly, at first, then faster. Thud. Thud. Thudthud. Thudthudthudthudthud.

“Oh yes,” Poe said again. The pure pleasure had closed his mind again but Kylo didn't care. All that mattered was the soft flesh and hard muscles under his hands. He looked into the dark eyes and saw lust, passion but also vulnerability, and strength in equal portions.

“You are truly gorgeous,” Kylo said, then leant forward, to claim his mouth once more, their tongues melding together. Poe pulled away, his movements suddenly erratic, moans growing louder.

“Yes, oh oh...”

Kylo felt him pulse around his erection, as the one in his hand likewise shuddered, a warmth hitting the cloth covering his stomach. It was enough to send Kylo screaming, over the edge himself, He gripped Poe's hips, as he thrust once more, feeling himself release, deep inside him. Kylo sighed, leaning forward to nuzzle on Poe's neck, as he came down from the high. Even after his orgasm was utterly sated, he continued to breath against the olive skin of the pilot's neck, content in the warmth, and feel of another human being.

“Oh.. that was... that was something...” Poe said, as Kylo finally pulled back, and tucked himself back in, rearranging his clothes. Seeing proof of Poe's release, he spat on his own hand, and wiped it off.

“I... I shouldn't have done that...” He said, locating Poe's boxers and pants on the ground, and putting them back on the pilot, before retying his legs, once more, to the torture rack.

“Why not? I'm not complaining!” Poe said. His flesh was delightfully pink, large eyes lustrous, now sweaty curls plastered about his face. Kylo had never seen a more alluring sight.

_I shouldn't have._

“It was... wrong...”

“Well, yes, but that added to the attraction of it, don't you think?” Poe smirked again.

Kylo gently cupped his jaw, in his hands.

“You know... her...”

The name came so readily to the front of the mind.

_General Organa. Leia._

Kylo felt it again, the pull to the light, the struggle.

_No._

_You could go to her, you know. Be with her. Be with him._

“No,” Kylo said, feeling tears prick at the edges of his eyelids.

_Poe has willingly given you his body. You could be with someone you are actually attracted to. You like him. Not like Hux, who you only feel disdain for._

“It's ok,” Poe whispered. “I can see the struggle in you. Maybe this... being evil business isn't for you.”

The tears now ran down Kylo's cheeks.

“It doesn't have to be this way. You know the choice that you have to make.”

“I can't...”

“You can,” Poe said. “It's simple.”

_Yes, it's simple. Come to the light. Do it now, Ben._

Kylo released Poe, as though he was suddenly burning him.

“They can't control you,” Poe said.

If only it were that simple, Kylo thought.

He leant forward and took those lips in a lingering kiss once more, their tongues lapping together. Kylo then kissed Poe's cheeks, his chin, his neck; he ran his hands through the sweaty curls, memorising the taste and feel of the beautiful face, before stepping back.

“I'm sorry,” he said.

“Not as sorry as I am,” Poe replied. Kylo saw the pity in his eyes and felt a momentary stirring, which he pushed down.

“You know,” he walked over to the mask and picked it up. “This will give me no pleasure.”

“I think it will. I think it's why you do it.”

Kylo turned back to face him.

“Just because we were intimate, doesn't meant that I will make this in anyway easy for you,” prideful anger now came into Poe's tone.

Gripping the mask with one hand, Kylo stepped forward. “I would be disappointed if you didn't.”

“So the great sex we just had won't be enough to convince you not to do this, will it?” Now the smarminess was back, though Kylo could hear a little fear, intertwined as well.

Kylo gripped his jaw and, unable to resist, took his mouth, once more, their tongues tangling together.

“What's with the mask, anyway? You think it makes you look menacing, is that it?” Poe asked, once they released.

“Some of us are not fortunate to have your looks,” Kylo said.

“Ok, firstly, I think you're pretty damned stunning. Why do you think I wanted so badly to have sex with you? Secondly, I still think you wear the mask because you think it makes you look menacing.”

In that instant, the door started to open. Kylo sprang back from Poe, as General Hux suddenly came into the room. He looked at the mask-less Kylo with suspicion.

“The prisoner has not broken, yet? You surprise me. I thought you were meant to be _good_ ,” Hux brushed aside Kylo, stepping up in front of Poe.

“Such a pretty face,” he said, reaching up combing Poe's hair off his face, as the pilot flinched. “I have an idea how to get the information out of him.” He now ran a finger over Poe's lips. “Leave us, Kylo. By the time I'm finished with him he'll be _begging_ to tell me where the map is. And I will feel very satisfied, indeed.”

Kylo could feel the sudden disgusted horror leaching off Poe, and felt rage move through him, empowering him. He turned and flicked his hand, the force lifting Hux and throwing him so hard against the wall opposite that he slid to the ground, looking dazed. Kylo then used the force to lift him up into the air.

“Put me down, Kylo, or there will be consequences.”

Kylo stepped forward, whispering into his ear.

“Leave us. I will have your map location. And I will be certain to _satisfy_ you, later. You know how willing I always am to give myself to you.”

He released the force, and Hux collapsed to the ground. The general stood up, wiping down his pants in a clear attempt at dignity.

“You have an hour,” he very swiftly departed the room.

Kylo turned back to Poe.

“Thank you,” Poe said. “I think I can better handle what you're about to do to me, as opposed to what he was suggesting. And saying that out loud, I'd say I'm having the worst day of my life. Well, at least the sex was good. Great, in fact.”

Kylo put the mask back on. There was no going back now. He could see Poe internally steeling himself.

*

Poe had fallen forward, unconscious in the binds. He had been wrong. Kylo had taken no pleasure in extracting the information from him. The pilot had, at least, indeed put up a good, internal fight. But, Kylo broke through, in the end. As he knew he always would.

*

So, Poe had escaped, with help. Kylo wasn't sure how to feel about this. His disparate emotions, as always, swirled in his body. He needed to focus, needed to stay calm.

Above him, Hux shuddered, his hands gripping Kylo's hips, mouth sucking on the back of his shoulder, as he moved within him.

“Kylo...yes...” He thrusted faster, occasionally hitting Kylo's prostate, sending sparks of pleasure up his spine, enough to at least cease the intimacy from being utterly trying.

“Ah ah...” Hux moaned, thrusting so hard it was almost painful. As the general screamed his completion, Kylo felt the familiar warmth inside him. Hux collapsed against him, kissing his neck, before removing himself. He then gently grabbed his hip, rolling him over onto his back, before looking down at him, face inscrutable.

“The pilot... Something happened between you two.”

Kylo simply stared back at him.

“Captain Phasma told me how handsome he was. I had to see, for myself. You showed him _this_ face,” he reached down and tapped Kylo's nose. “Why?”

“You should leave, now.”

The hard slap across his left cheek surprised him into momentary inaction.

“You're mine, Kylo! Do not forget th-”

Kylo pointed his finger at him. Hux suddenly clutched at his throat, eyes bugging, as he struggled for air.

“What happened with the pilot? I seduced him. He gave himself to me, willingly.”

“You're lying...” Hux gasped.

“Am I?”

He released the general, who collapsed forward, still choking for air. Disgusted, Kylo hastily moved out of the way, to avoid being fallen on.

“If you slap me again, I will make it certain that it is the last thing you ever do.”

“I will forgive you, this time,” Hux said, regaining his breath. Kylo noticed that the fingers that reached forward, to comb through his hair, trembled slightly. “Yes, yes the pilot was indeed handsome. I guess I can't fault you wanting to have him. But I console myself with the knowledge that we have something special.”

Kylo resisted the strong urge to laugh, to taunt Hux for his ridiculous feelings towards him, the flaw that would always stop him from being truly great.

“I shouldn't have slapped you. That was a mistake that won't happen again. Kylo, you know that I...” His eyes spoke of his true longing and anguish. “I will take my leave.”

Neither spoke as he redressed. At Kylo's bedroom doorway, he momentarily looked back, anguish twisting his features. Kylo caught a whisper of a thought.

_…. to have more than the mere body he gives...._

He then closed the door. Kylo lay back down, mind haunted by images; Poe's post-coital smirk, the despondency on Poe's face, when Kylo broke through all of his defences, his mother kneeling down to smile at him, looking radiant, his uncle's pained face some years later, digging up his grandfather's mask, from the remnants of his funeral pyre, Snoke's hologram, sitting so high above him.

_Do not despair_ , the darkness now called to him.

_You are destined for greatness. You will find the courage to defeat the light that attempts to fester within you._

Kylo deliberately pushed the images out of his mind, and started to think about what he had to do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Having re-seen the film, decided to fix up a few inconsistencies. :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who read/reviewed/ sent kudos. Have decided to make this a series. Enjoy!

As Hux came down the corridor, in one direction, Phasma was walking down the other. She stopped directly before him. Hux was not in the mood for conversing with Phasma at the best of times. Certainly, she was a formidable captain. However, he found her, personally, to be rather grating. He moved to go around her but she stepped to the side, blocking his path.

“It seems Kylo Ren has a new toy. He picked up a pilot on Jakku, one that will give us the location of the map to Skywalker.”

“Yes, I am already aware-”

“He's a rather _pretty_ toy. I'm certain Kylo will take great pleasure from torturing him,” from her tone, she appeared to be enjoying telling Hux this news. “Yes, a very handsome man, indeed.”

“Whether the captive is handsome or not, has nothing to do with this!” Hux's upraised voice gave himself away.

Phasma paused long enough to silently convey her contempt towards the general.

“Certainly not. I'm sure that Kylo will obtain what he needs.” Phasma then continued up the hall, deliberately brushing past Hux, who stood, stock-still on the spot, frowning.

Why did it matter, the handsomeness of the captured pilot? Why was Phasma toying with him in such a way? Certainly, while him and Kylo were careful with keeping their intimacy a secret, he had, on more than one time, suspected that Phasma knew about them. Was this confirmation?

_Damn her!_

Hux felt cold anger burning his insides. Certainly, he knew that they had picked up a captain, on Jakku, that Kylo had been responsible for the capture. He was also aware that Kylo had then offered to go in and force the information out of him, after simple torture had failed.

_Or perhaps there is more to it. Perhaps Kylo wished to see the handsome one again._

Hux clenched his fists, feeling the nails dig into his flesh. He told himself to not buy into what Phasma was saying, that she was obviously attempting to manipulate him.

His feet started to move down the corridor.

This was, indeed, ridiculous. Kylo was very accomplished at what he did. He was not going to betray himself by seducing a handsome man, simply for the pleasure of it.

He is mine! Hux thought, as he turned another corridor. I will not tolerate this pilot having what is mine.

He reached a t-intersection and turned right.

It occurred to him that he truly was letting Phasma's comments concern him. What,really, were the chances of Kylo seducing the pilot, even if he wanted to? Hux personally found Kylo to be utterly striking looking but he was aware that he was not the epitome of conventional male beauty.

No, surely, the captured pilot would not look upon the face (that Hux had studied at length) and feel any spark of lust.

Hux suddenly found himself standing in front of a wide door, which he knew lead into the torture room. Without hesitating, he turned the handle and stepped in. Kylo stood less than a metre from the captive.

He was unmasked.

Hux felt a sour taste enter his mouth. Kylo only ever removed the mask for him, or Snoke. He preferred to hide behind the cloak of invincibility that the facial covering allowed. From where he stood, he could only see the back of Kylo's dark curls. Then Kylo turned.

No, Kylo was not conventionally beautiful. But then, Hux did not like convention. He had bedded so called great traditional male 'beauties' in the First Order, and found them to be oddly lacking. Where he found Kylo did obtain true beauty, however, was in his always expressive eyes. At that moment, they were looking at Hux with disdain, anger, but also something else...if Hux wasn't mistaken, he could read guilt.

Hux pushed down the sourness that was now creeping up his throat.

“The prisoner has not broken, yet? You surprise me. I thought you were meant to be _good_ ,” he said, relishing the look of anger that these words produced upon Kylo's face. Hux knew of Kylo's abilities, had no doubt of the magic that he could produce with them. He merely stated such words to taunt him.

Brushing Kylo aside, he now stepped before the pilot.

Well well, Phasma had been right. This one truly was a great beauty.

“Such a pretty face,” he said, reaching up to brush the dark curls off the handsome face. There was an odd smell leaching off the pilot. Hux told himself that he was smelling the sweat and tears that the torture had caused.

But no, there was something else. Familiar.

The pilot had beautiful dark eyes, that looked at him with such wariness.

Hux was certain that he could smell sex upon the captain.

The sourness now swept through his entire body, feeling like poison in his veins. If he was to strip off the pilot's clothes right now, would he see Kylo's sweat and saliva on his flesh, his seed spilling down his thighs?

Had Kylo forced him? Was this the threat that he had made, in order to obtain the information? If he had, surely he would not have removed the helmet, in order to keep his menace. Even though Hux had seen him without the helmet every night, he was always astonished at how young his naked face looked, how vulnerable. In fact, Hux had never seen Kylo remove the mask other than times of great emotional upheaval and vulnerability.

No, Kylo had not forced the pilot, Hux was certain of it. Looking at the face now, he saw stubbornness, dignity, even a little pride. No anguish, shame or humiliation poured out of the dark orbs.

This meant that Kylo had betrayed him. Phasma was right. He wondered if the pilot had moaned, how he tasted. Did Kylo kiss him on the lips? Did he take him into his mouth?

The acid-like anger continued to burn through his veins.

Slut. Whore, he thought, as he took in the pilot's irritatingly composed countenance. If Kylo had taken this handsome pilot, then he wanted him too. He would make certain to hurt him, to make him cry out in humiliation and horror, to make certain that he would never seduce captors, or, indeed anyone else, ever again.

“Leave us, Kylo. By the time I'm finished with him he'll be _begging_ to tell me where the map is. And I will feel very satisfied, indeed.”

The pilot's eyes widened, then, for the first time horror leaching off his face.

_Yes, slut, I'm going to teach you not to interfere with what is mine!_

Hux suddenly found himself being lifted and thrown through the air, connecting hard with the wall opposite. For a moment, he slid to the ground, feeling dazed.

_He used his force against me! How dare-_

Only, Kylo did not appear to be finished. Hux suddenly found himself hoisted up into the air, once more. For the first time, in knowing Kylo, despite all that the young man had done, Hux felt true terror course through him. He told himself to calm down, to focus. Kylo's eyes were very dark, his hair in wild tangles about his determined pale face. Indeed, as he stood before Hux, his wrath fully focused on him, he then became truly darkly beautiful.

“Put me down, Kylo, or there will be consequences!”

Kylo stepped towards him, face still set in a venomous expression. He felt his lips, close to his ear.

“Leave us. I will have your map location. And I will be certain to _satisfy_ you, later. You know how willing I always am to give myself to you.”

Hux felt himself collapse to the ground, once more. Humiliation burning his cheeks, he stood up, wiping the dirt off his trousers. Yes, Kylo would indeed give his body, but it wouldn't truly be _him_.

“You have an hour,” he said, glancing back at the scene before him. The pilot was now looking down at the ground. Kylo simply stared back at him, expression opaque.

*

Less than twenty minutes later, Kylo stepped outside the room.

The pilot had, indeed, cracked and would, no doubt, be terminated now. However, he would not allow anything to happen, before he spoke to him, first. Hux received the information from Kylo as to where the map was, then ordered him back to the bridge. He watched the tall man walk back down the corridor, before turning his attention to the torture room.

When he re-entered the room, he suspected that the pilot was unconscious. His head lolled forward, onto his chest. However, as he moved closer, it moved up, to faced him.

“Are you here to kill me?” He asked.

“What did he do to you?” Hux asked.

“You know what he did,” the pilot murmured.

“No, there is more...”

A sly smile graced his lips. “He was not at all how I expected him to look. Kind of unusual looking, isn't he? Still, kind of... alluring...” The smile broadened. “Some people have some kind of sexual magnetism-”

Hux drew his hand back and slammed it, hard into the pilot's stomach.

“You think, you, _pretty boy_ can-” He slapped him, hard across the face. “Do you know what I can do? How I can hurt you?”

“Well, I've already been tortured and mind raped. I guess you'll literally rape me, now?” It was an attempt at humour but Hux could hear true fear, in his tone.

“If you touched him...”

“A bit hard when I'm tied to this...But then, that was what Kylo Ren was. He was more than a bit hard. I'd say he was _very_ hard.”

“Stop lying to me, slut! You pretty boys think you can just take what you want, without consequence-”

“I just unwittingly betrayed the resistance! I'd hardly say anything that happened today was without consequence,” Poe sighed. “I'd hate to be the one to break this to you. But I really don't think he's that into you.”

Hux could not stand listening to any more of the pilot's teasing. He quickly strode out of the room.

*  
The first time Hux saw Kylo's true face, both were standing before Supreme Leader Snoke's hologram.

“Remove your mask, let me look at your true face.”

Kylo had taken off the mask. Standing beside him, Hux found that he could barely look away from the fascinating countenance, the naked vulnerability.

He instantly decided that he wanted Kylo and that he would have him.

*

The second time that Hux saw Kylo's naked face, he found him standing before the burnt out husk of his grandfather's mask.

“Kylo...” He breathed. Kylo turned, face white, lips trembling. He lifted his fingers and squeezed them together. Hux suddenly found himself unable to breathe, his larynx squeezed closed. He clawed at his throat, lungs screaming for air. Kylo released him, and he bent over, gasping, as he breathed blessed oxygen back into his body.

“Leave me!” Kylo ordered.

Only Hux decided he wasn't going to leave. He moved swiftly to Kylo and knelt before him, reaching for the cloth covering his crotch and pulling the folds up.

“What are you doing?” Kylo asked, physically pushing him back.

“Let me,” Hux said, quickly moving forward again. “I want you...”

He reached for Kylo again. Kylo roared, physically grabbing Hux and hauling him up in the air.

“I said leave me!”

Hux found himself soaring through the air, out of the room. He hit the floor outside, and the door closed behind him.

*

That night, while he lay in bed, Hux heard a knock on his bedroom door. He opened it, to the mask-less Kylo. Wordlessly, he let him in. Kylo instantly sank to his knees before him. Hux never discovered what made him change his mind. That night, as he took the pliant body, for the first time, he decided that he didn't care.

*

Hux groaned, feeling the warmth and heat of the body he was thrusting into, the soft flesh over hard bone of the jutting hips. The pilot had escaped, with one of the storm troopers. Hux was certain that their escape module had been hit, however. They were as good as dead, crashing, appropriately enough, into the very planet from which they had just been. Time for celebration.

“Kylo yes...”

No, the pilot had been lying. Hux was sure of it. Only _he_ knew how to give Kylo exactly what he wanted. The other man liked it hard and fast, and so he gave it to him.

_Yes, he loves it! My own personal slut._

“Ah... ah...” The thought sent him over into the height of passion.

Sated, he fell forward, kissing Kylo on the neck, as he removed himself, before rolling him onto his back. Kylo stared up at him, unnamed emotion leeching out of his dark eyes.

“The pilot... something happened between you two.”

_You wouldn't do this to me, surely._

“Captain Phasma told me how handsome he was. I had to see it for myself. You showed him this face,” he said, playfully tapping Kylo's nose. “Why?”

“You should leave now,” Kylo said.

Hux's hand shot out, before he even realised what it was doing.

“You're mine, Kylo! Do not forget th-”

Again, he found himself struggling for air, as his larynx closed up.

“What happened to the pilot? I seduced him. He gave himself to me. Willingly.”

There it was. Confirmation.

Only Hux refused to believe it.

“You're lying!”

“Am I?”

Hux found himself able to breathe again. _No, no he wouldn't. He simply wouldn't._

“If you slap me again, I will make certain that it is the last thing you ever do.”

_The pilot is dead. This means nothing. Why fault Kylo having a handsome slut who offers himself so freely?_

“I will forgive you, this time,” he reached forward, combing his fingers through Kylo's dark tangled hair. “Yes, yes the pilot was indeed handsome. I guess I can't fault you wanting to have him. But I console myself with the knowledge that we have something special.”

Something momentarily twitched in the dark eyes, an opaque emotion.

“I shouldn't have slapped you. That was a mistake that won't happen again. Kylo, you know that I...”

_I think I've fallen in love with you._

The thought came in a rush of inspiration.

_Oh... oh no..._

“I will take my leave.”

Hux got up and started to dress, mind whirling from his sudden realisation. He finished and walked to the door.

_Well, this is... this is just great..._

The thought was dripping in sarcasm.

He walked to the door then turned back. Kylo still sat on the bed, staring at him, hair mussed, lips a thin line.

_Damn, it's true, isn't it? It's no longer just about want. To have more than the mere body he gives..._

Barely able to look at Kylo's face any more, he closed the door behind him.

For Poe's sake, he hoped he did die in the crash, because if he found him again, he would make him suffer, for even daring to _look_ at Kylo.

Tbc...

(Next Poe's pov)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's to various contrivances to get Poe and Kylo in the same area so they can have hot sex again ;)
> 
> Thanks to all who are reading.

Only two years previously, Poe would fly every mission with his very good friend in the Resistance, Markilus Wret. Markilus had been a very good pilot (certainly not as talented as Poe, but, still, he was up there, as one of the best). After actively participating in a few battles, and having some rather close calls (one in particular, he had to eject from his aircraft after it was hit), Markilus started to act... unusual. The brash, confident pilot spent a lot of time by himself. He seemed overly tense and anxious, jumping at the slightest sound. When asked, he confessed to Poe that he barely slept, fearful of the violent nightmares that would then ensue.

Worried for his friend, Poe spent a couple of sleepless nights, considering what to do, with this information. He finally went to General Organa, who received the news of the deterioration of the pilot with clear concern. She then went to Markilus and forbade him from going on any more missions, instead offering him time off, with full benefits. He would also be given ample opportunity to see the base medical staff, to try and find a cure, or at least some respite, from his maladies.

General Organa then held a meeting, in which she pleaded with any other pilots, who had suffered from similar illness, to come forward. There would be no punishment, she had said, but rather an attempt at healing, for the horrors that they had suffered.

Unfortunately for Markilus, he never did entirely heal from his afflictions. A few months later, the General accepted his resignation from the Resistance, with good grace.

Her compassionate treatment of her personnel was just one of the reasons why Poe absolutely adored and loved the General and felt more than privileged to work for her.

Staggering through the Jakku desert now, with nothing to enlighten his vision, for miles ahead but for the yellowish sand, and the twinkling of stars above, in the dark night sky, Poe wondered if he was now afflicted by a malady of the mind. This, he reasoned to himself, may explain the occurrences of the past twelve hours or so, the most prominent of which was the fact that he had engaged in amazing intimacy with the First Order's resident Jedi-Wannabe-Magicman-With-The-Ridiculous-Mask. Poe had, certainly, heard of the Jedi and the Force, but had never actually met anyone who could conceivably control it. Although Kylo Ren clearly had some power (Poe was baffled as to where it came from) he was doubtful that this was proof he was some sort of dark Jedi.

What he could say about Kylo, however, was that the guy was incredibly messed up. Poe was simply astonished that the Order kept such a loose canon in such a position of power, when he was clearly so unstable.

That was partly what made the sex so damned good.

Poe laughed to himself.

_So, you had sexual relations, while being tied up, after being tortured, with a man who could easily break your mind in two just by looking at you. And you found it absolutely incredible. Yep, got some major instability yourself, there, Poe!_

Poe's laughter had tapered off to bursts of giggles.

If he was going to be honest with himself, he hadn't even considered having some very gratifying times with the man, until he had removed the mask. He wasn't sure what he expected the enemy to look like. Certainly, he had not pictured a face as young as that. Hell, he appeared younger than Poe, himself. He wasn't _pretty_ like Poe...he was aware that few were... But he certainly was something else... Something in the exotic, dark features instantly made Poe's heart pound, his body react in a very particular way.

He was certain that Kylo would respond to his advances. No one ever denied him. No matter the sexuality one declared, if Poe Dameron decided that he wanted someone, then he would seduce them. The poor soul had no chance under his charm.

At that point, with Kylo Ren, it was ridiculous, it was insane, it made no sense whatsoever, but he had felt so utterly aroused, that if Kylo had not responded positively to his advances, he would have ripped the damn bindings off the torture chair and molested the Sith-wannabe himself.

Poe now covered his mouth with his hand, shrieking louder with laughter.

That would have certainly resulted in his death... and a rather embarrassing one, at that. He wondered how General Organa would have reacted, upon hearing that her best pilot had been murdered, after attempting to ravish the Masked Baddie... who seemed oddly obsessed by her. Yes, Poe now recalled, it was after he had forced an image of the General from Poe, that Kylo had stopped with the mind rape and then torn off the mask, as though it was suddenly poisonous to him.

_Something about that..._

Poe's laughter abruptly halted.

Still, perhaps he should thank her. If it wasn't for her, the torture session would not have stopped, to be replaced with the loving session.

Kylo had been surprisingly good. Poe had expected him to simply take his body, mindful only of his own pleasure. Hell, Poe would have been utterly alright with that. More than alright with that, indeed. Instead, he had seemed determined to make sure that Poe was completely agreeable to the intimacy, certain with touches, strokes and the wonderful workings of his mouth and tongue, that Poe obtain as much pleasure from the interaction as he obviously did. That had been one of the revelations of the other dark-haired man that kept Poe honestly intrigued.

_Be honest, Poe. He was more than good. The sex was fantastic._

The way that Kylo had leant against him afterwards, lips brushing gently against his skin, seemed so intimate. Poe had wondered how much reciprocated physical interaction Kylo actually had, with other human beings.

And then there was the curiosity with the other official, who came into the room. Something was definitely up with him and Kylo. Poe was quite certain that it was something... sexy... In fact, Hux came across as a jealous boyfriend. The whole scene seemed so surreal that Poe had wondered if he was, in actuality, experiencing a torture induced hallucination. The only part that felt sickeningly real, was when Hux started touching his face and hair. Poe was under no illusions as to the man's intentions.

He was threatening to rape him.

Poe shuddered, feeling bile rise in his throat, as it had when the man had laid his hands on him. He had felt inwardly shaky, so unlike his usual confident swagger. He had to admit, it was a brutally good tactic.

When Kylo had then made the man back off, Poe had felt such a wave of relief wash over himself, that he had literally felt tears sting his eyelids. They would kill him. He had no doubt about that. However, he truly did not want to be violated, before the inevitable demise.

Although, even that was not to be, thanks to the ex-stormtrooper... FN... whatever number...

Finn.

Why he decided to go against his programming, Poe had no idea. He was simply extremely thankful that he had. In the small time that he had, before both crashed into the desert of Jakku, Finn had made quite the impact on Poe. To the pilot, it was more than the bravery, that escaping from the Order must have taken. The fact was that Finn was rather humorous to have around. It had felt good to have a gunner who was as fresh and thrilled by the whole experience, as he was.

Shame that when he had awoken, Poe was in the middle of the Jakku desert, with no Finn in sight. Ever the optimist, Poe was certain that Finn had survived. He sincerely hoped he would see him again.

A dim light suddenly appeared in the distance. As Poe drew closer, he realised that it was a small, contained fire, a hooded figure before it. His eyes, however, were drawn more to the small aircraft directly behind the source of much needed heat. Tie-fighter.

_Ah...Excellent._

He bent low, reassuring the weapon attached to his foot. Despite being obviously part of the Order, Poe almost felt sorry for the one he was about to apprise the tie-fighter of, by gun threat.

Moving steadily forward, he disengaged the weapon, holding it loosely in his hand. Less than fifty yards in front of him, the figure stood. Poe saw an arm move up. The weapon went spinning out of his hand, to land in the figure's.

_Well... shit..._

There was nowhere to run. The other one had already spotted him. Poe was aware that he would have to use all of his charisma, to get out of the situation.

Affixing his most charming grin on his face, he stepped forward.

“Hello there! I'm-” He stopped, as the man took the hood off.

From the expression on Kylo's face, he was as shocked to see Poe, as he was to see Kylo. As with the first time that they met, both stood, silently staring at each other, before Poe finally spoke.

“You know, this is really starting to feel like you're stalking me,” he teased. “Why aren't you on your big starship with all the rest of the Order?”

As Kylo continued to stare at him, Poe found himself drinking in the exotic features.

_He does have very pretty full lips..._

“There have been some... complications... I needed some time to myself to meditate on my next set of actions...” Kylo eventually spoke.

_So the Order let you take one of their tie-fighters, to go on a retreat? Good work if you can get it!_

“The stormtrooper, who escaped with me. Do you know what happened to him?”

He could see the struggle, in Kylo's eyes, whether to tell him what he knew.

“He escaped Jakku.... with help.”

Poe could not help but smile. _Good for you, Finn!_

“Do you mind...I lost my jacket when the tie-fighter crashed...” He knelt before the fire, feeling the blessed heat seep into his body, warming the frigid flesh. Kylo sat down as well, still regarding him, with his intense stare. Poe noticed the metal contraption sitting at his feet. His lightsaber.

“So, this is what you do, when things don't go to plan? You hole up on the nearby planet and meditate a few hours? You know, I've always wanted to know. What are the pay rates for working for the Order? Do they provide Dental Insurance?”

“I need to focus. I am not...” Kylo finally looked away. “stable...”

“Well, sounds like you've had just as much of a crazy day as I have.”

Both were silent a moment. Poe looked into the fire, mesmerised by the dancing yellow flame, tinged green where it brushed the burning logs.

“I asked for guidance and then you arrived,” Kylo said, then paused. “I can't do it...”

“Do what?” Poe asked, mystified at the sudden tears glistening in Kylo's eyes.

“It has to be a sacrifice that is worth it.” Kylo appeared to be talking more to himself. “No, you are a traitor.” The tears abruptly ceased. Poe was impressed that the one before him could swing from one extreme emotion to another, in the space of a sentence. “Just a scum traitor.”

“Aw don't be like that! We were getting along so well!”

The struggle again, in the dark eyes, that he had seen while in the torture room.

“From two opposing sides. Kind of poetic, don't you think?” He edged around the fire, to be closer to the other man.

Poe's mind went to the fight on Jakku, the screaming of the men, women and children, as they were slayed, the smell of blood and death in the air.

“What of the villagers?” the head stormtrooper had asked.

Poe recalled Kylo's answer.

_There wasn't even any hesitation._

Before he even realised what he was doing, he reached over, grabbed Kylo's lightsaber, stood up and turned it on, pointing it at the other man.

_He may give you great sex, but he would kill you, and everyone you love. And not give it a second thought._

“Do it,” Kylo said.

It was then Poe realised that Kylo had allowed him to take the weapon, was allowing him to hold it on him, now.

“Please...I'm in so much pain... Please just do it...” Tears slid down his cheeks. “I just want it to end...”

_I'm not going to do that!_

Poe switched off the lightsaber, dropped it on the ground and crouched before Kylo, grabbing his hair and pulling his head forward to his own, forcing their mouths together. He could taste the salt of the other man's tears.

_Well, this is much better than us trying to kill each other!_

Kylo groaned, as the kiss deepened, pulling Poe on top of him. Poe could feel his erection against his flesh and started to grind against it, rubbing his own against the thick folds of Kylo's black cloak. Kylo pulled back a little to swiftly remove the hood, before pulling the rest of his upper layers of clothing off.

“Wow!” Poe said, running his hands over the revealed muscular chest. “Your clothes don't do you justice.” He leant forward, to swirl his tongue over the hard lines of Kylo's upper torso.

“Wait!”

Poe pulled back, allowing Kylo to slowly remove his own upper layers, kissing and licking the flesh, as it was revealed.

Their upper torsos now free of clothing, the two hastily started to divest themselves of the rest of their clothes, in an almost animalistic frenzy. Feeling Kylo start to kiss his neck and stroke his erection, as his long fingers started jabbing at his prostate, Poe found it utterly hard to conceive that merely minutes before, Kylo had begged him to kill him.

_This one seriously has issues.... But then, you're the one about to have wild sex with him. What does this say about you?_

“Yes, yes...” He moaned, grinding his erection into Kylo's, his hands wandering freely over the body.

This was... this was... he wanted it... but not like that.

“Stop...” He groaned. Kylo instantly pulled his fingers out. Poe turned around, onto his hands and knees. “Like this.”

Surprisingly light fingers gripped his hips, as another hand trailed up and down his back. Kylo entered him slowly, carefully. Poe found it utterly bizarre that one of his most considerate lovers, also happened to be a genocidal maniac. He had been with men who were extremely brave and took great sacrifices on the battlefield, only to give barely much thought to him, when it came to the sex.

Yes, yes... he thought, as Kylo started to slowly thrust.

He recalled, in particular, one other past lover of his, a fellow pilot. It had started a bit rough, which was fine, he liked a bit of rough, but then the pilot started thrusting far too hard and fast and was hurting him. The pilot had, to his credit, ceased the intimacy, as soon as Poe suddenly shouted at him to stop, but had then ordered Poe to take him into his mouth.

“At least give me something. You've got me all worked up, with that gorgeous body of yours!”

When Poe had then ordered him out of the room, the man had spat in his face, labelling him a manslut.

Kylo moaned, thrusting a little harder.

Yes, Poe Dameron. Best pilot and manslut of the fleet. Hell, what was wrong with that? He started to thrust back, suddenly feeling the warmth of Kylo's body resting on his back, mouth sucking his shoulder. Oh, yes, this was good, this was... but it wasn't...

With one hand, he reached forward, grabbing his uniform shirt off the desert floor, before rising up, to sit on his knees. Kylo grabbed him by the hair and twisted his head, so their mouths could clash, once more.

“Tie my hands...” He ordered. “Behind my back... tie them...”

Poe wasn't usually interested in bondage. With Kylo Ren, however, there was something... (he felt his hands being grabbed, pulled behind himself) something so damned sexy about (the shirt looping around his wrists) being so utterly at the other's mercy.

He moaned, relishing the pounding hardness within himself, the tongue clashing with his, the hand stroking his hardness, the other gripping his chin.

“Yes... oh yes...” He groaned, feeling lips against his neck, a tongue sliding down to his shoulder, teeth digging into the flesh.

The sensations flooding his body became overwhelming. He cried out, as the climax hit so hard it was almost painful. Gasping, he heard Kylo moan, felt warmth hit his insides, then soft lips against his neck once more, as both came down, his wrists loosened from their binds, the shirt thrown to the ground.

“Turn around,” Kylo said, gently. Poe did as he bid, turning around so he was sitting on his long legs. Kylo reached up, touching his cheek, his expression inscrutable, then the brows knitted. “Slut!” He pushed Poe off.

“Really? That's your worst insult?” Poe said, as he gracefully rose up to a crouching position. “I'd hate to break this to you but it kinda takes two people...” He gestured between them both. “Also, I'm not the one who's screwing the general. I guess you've learnt the easiest route to get to the top.”

Kylo's expression grew sullen, that of a spoilt child denied a lolly. Poe wondered about his parents. He was suddenly quite sure that they would be some interesting characters, indeed.

“So, no comeback?” Poe shook his head, as he started picking up his clothes, from where they had been thrown, and putting them back on.

Hearing movement, as he was retying his boots, he looked up, to see Kylo likewise redressing.

“Who was the pilot?” Kylo asked, once both had finished dressing and Poe was seated back in front of the fire, figuring out his next move.

“You were reading my mind again? Damn can you not do that! It's just incredibly wrong!”

“I wasn't planning to. It's just sometimes... in extremely emotionally vulnerable situations, I catch snippets of a thought, or an image... I saw another pilot... you were on your hands and knees, as with me-”

“Alright, alright, you don't have to-”

“He was hurting you.”

_Why do you care?_ “He stopped, when I told him to. I wanted to- look, why are we even having this conversation?”

Kylo grew silent, once more.

“Did you mean it, when you asked me to... when I held the lightsaber?”

“I let you grab it off me.”

“I figured, as much,” he paused at the sudden anguished look on Kylo's face. The image of a vastly excited Finn suddenly came into his mind. “Look, I can see how pained you are. Why don't you just let go of all of this? Switch sides. Join the resistance. We can protect you.”

“I can never go back. I will die before I go back.”

_Go... back..._

“So you were a part of it... before? What happened to you?”

“You are on the wrong side,” Kylo said, a deep sorrow creasing his face. “You are on the wrong side and you will be destroyed. But it doesn't have to be that way. Come with me. Come with me and I'll give you everything that you desire and more.”

Poe could only stare at him, incredulous a moment, before bursting out with laughter.

“ _Me_ switch sides? _Me_ join the side that murders civilians? That is determined to massacre anyone that doesn't fit into their rigid vision of what society is meant to be? Your side kidnaps children, turns them into murderers!”

“That is General Hux-”

“Oh don't go around diverting blame! Why don't you talk to your boyfriend? Huh? Maybe between playing hide the-”

Poe suddenly found himself lifted up into the air and dragged along the ground, towards, Kylo who stood up, his hand outstretched, as though to catch him.

“Oh, so this is how you deal with things? You just chuck a tanty and start using your crazy powers to start moving people about, or choking them or whatever the hell you did to Hux.”

“You think because you are _pretty_ that you can-”

“No, because I know what the Order is doing! How it's hurting people! That is why General Organa-”

He suddenly found himself released and rather clumsily collapsed to the ground.

“Do not mention her,” Kylo whispered. Poe could see that his face was now drained of colour.

“Ok, honestly, what the hell is the deal with you and the General? I like to think that I’m no idiot. To me, this goes beyond the fact that she's the head of the Resistance. If you weren't young enough to be her son, I would think that you two were lovers, or something! Maybe you were, hell. She's pretty foxy, she could-”

“Do not talk about her that way!”

Poe could only stare at him a moment, utterly baffled.

“You do remember that she's your _enemy_?”

Kylo cocked his head, pursing his full lips. An unnamed mirth suddenly gleamed in the brown irises. He crouched down and reached forward, running a hand down Poe's thigh.

“Do you want me?” He asked, moving the hand further up to fondle Poe through his uniform trousers.

“No. I tend to have hot sex with people I find totally undesirable,” the sarcasm was clear, in his voice.

The stroking and squeezing hand was already starting to have an effect. Poe felt his breath start to come in pants, as the hand unzipped him, and reached inside his boxers, to touch bare flesh.

Damn... it was good. If he was a slut or a whore, then he more than welcomed it. He started to moan, feeling Kylo grab his chin. He opened his eyes, to Kylo staring back at him, an indefinable vulnerability in his eyes.

Kylo wordlessly let go off him, then started to shrug off his clothes.

Twice in less than half an hour? Damn, Poe wasn't feeling tender but, he figured if he was going to be penetrated again, so soon, then perhaps it may be a little... uncomfortable this time, particularly as they were only using saliva, to ease the way.

Now fully naked, Kylo took Poe's face in his hands and kissed him, directing Poe's hand to his erection. The other he grabbed and-

_Oh_

-moved it underneath, near his opening. Poe looked in Kylo's face and understood.

“Wait... wait...” He moved his hand away and placed his fingers in his mouth, sucking, before moving it back to the tender opening. Kylo moved, climbing on top of him, to more easily touch his body, pulling up his shirt to kiss and bite down his chest. Poe concentrated on his own stroking hand, the other concentrating on slamming up into Kylo's prostate, again and again. Kylo started moaning, wriggling.

“Do it...”

Poe gripped his hips, tenderly moving him down onto his erection. Buried to the hilt, Kylo looked at him, with clear surprise in his eyes.

_Yes, it does feel great... Haven't you ever tried it with that other officer? Or is it that he' just not very good at it. Actually, I'll bet on the latter._

As both started to move, Kylo grabbed Poe by the hair and mashed their mouths together. For Poe, he was overwhelmed with the ecstasy that the other man would give himself in such a way, would relinquish all control to him. They pulled away, the open-mouthed, gasping Kylo still staring at him, as though he was the Maker come to Jakku, an expression he was used to seeing from other people, just not a wannabe sithlord.

For the next few minutes, both bodies undulated, facing each other, hands stroking, lips tasting flesh, until Poe felt Kylo start to move erratically.

“Oh oh...” He was close, Poe could tell. Kylo threw his head back, revealing his long neck, crying out, as Poe felt him constrict around him, his release hitting his stomach. The sight was enough to send him over the edge, himself.

For a moment, as Kylo climbed off him, and dressed, neither spoke. For his part, Poe was now feeling rather content indeed, but also rather sleepy.

Kylo finished redressing, sat down beside him, and then did something that Poe had not seen before.

He smiled.

The upturn of lips and showing of straight white teeth transformed his entire face.

“You should smile more often,” Poe said.

Kylo leant across and kissed him on the lips.

“Thank you,” he said. “I enjoyed that.”

“I could tell,” Poe grinned. “So, what happens now?”

For a moment, Kylo looked away, then the dark eyes were on his again, expression serious once more.

“I must go back, now.”

“Ok, well-”

*

Poe opened his eyes. It was still night-time. The fire had burned down to embers. Kylo and his tie-fighter were gone.

Great! Just great! Poe thought, sarcastically.

The last thing he recalled was replying to Kylo's talk of going back. Kylo must have put some magic-man heehgee on him to knock him out.

Frowning, Poe stood up. It felt tempting to stay near the warmth of the fire, but it was unsafe here. He needed to find an aircraft.

*

Three miles later, he came across an abandoned craft, by a tiny little shack of a house. The craft looked decrepit and held together by string and good-will, but Poe was confident that he could fly it.

*

“The weapon is almost-” Hux began.

“I do not wish to speak about that!” The giant hologram of Snoke bent down further to look at him. “I wish to speak of Kylo Ren.”

“Kylo Ren?”

Why did it always have to come back to him? Didn't Snoke understand what he was trying to achieve here?

_Kylo Ren! I'm sick of him, with his sullen attitude_

_(Poe had said “I don't think-”_

_and tantrums that destroy valuable equipment._

_(“-he's that-”)_

_Why is there never any punishment, from Snoke, for such monstrocities?_

_(“-into you.”)_

“I know of the intimacy between him and the pilot, Poe Dameron. I know all. In Jakku, where he has gone to meditate, the pilot came to him. They were intimate, once more.”

_The pilot. The pretty manslut. Yes, damn him. Damn them both._

Feeling his hands shake, Hux clasped them together.

“The pilot gave himself to Kylo. And then, Kylo gave himself to the pilot.”

Hux felt his heart start to pound, a sickened feeling in his stomach starting to rise. He inexplicably felt tears burn his eyelids.

“I do not deny my protege such a pretty bauble, particularly as he gives far more pleasure than _your_ clumsy fumblings.”

Snoke laughed at the expression on Hux's face. “Did you think that I did not know? Kylo is returning. Perhaps you should see to your... lover...”

Hux departed the room, the ill emotion now almost overwhelming. He closed his eyes, breathing deeply, centring himself.

So, Kylo seemed determined to consort with the enemy did he?

No, he was equally as culpable as the pilot. Kylo was the manslut, the one not worthy of Snoke.

_He has taken me for a fool!_

Hux would see to it that he paid dearly, for all that he had done. The pilot doubly so.

Tbc...


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who are reading/kudoing/commenting.
> 
> I now have a plot worked out, which will take this beyond the movie (and I guess into AU territory, as it would be er... very interesting indeed if the films go the way I am writing ;))
> 
> Major Spoilers for Force Awakens, in this chapter, so you have been warned.

Hux decided to forgo subtlety. With Kylo standing beside him, he now spoke openly, to Snoke, about what he saw as definitive failings, in regards to the Supreme Leader's 'favourite'. Snoke didn't seem to be the least concerned. Hux decided to change tact, talking now of the greatness that they would achieve, with his weapon. Snoke's response was then to discharged him, stating that he wished to speak to Kylo.

Seething at being so openly dismissed, Hux started to walk out of the room, catching the beginning of the conversation, between Snoke and Kylo.

“There has been an awakening...” Snoke began.

So, it was concerning more of their Force tomfoolery. Hux didn't care for such mumbo jumbo silliness, particularly when they had a weapon that could wipe out the Republic and therefore negate any need to use their Jedi powers.

He truly felt that Snoke was placing too much emphasis on Kylo Ren, and not enough on other, more decisive factors, in regards to winning the battle. Hux decided that he didn't care how good Kylo was with the Force, particularly if he was dalliancing with a member of the Resistance. He was nothing more than traitor scum... a manslut at that. If Snoke was willing to look past his obvious flaws, then more fool him.

Half-way down the corridor, Hux stopped walking. His next move should be to start the procedure, for readying the weapon for firing.

_Shouldn't have let Kylo manipulate me._

Yes, there was still a fair amount of work to do, before the weapon was fully operational.

_Should have taken the pilot by force, in front of him. Perhaps Kylo may have secretly enjoyed watching._

Footsteps sounded behind him. He turned, to Kylo now walking down the corridor. Hux hesitated only momentarily.

“We must talk.”

“No, not now,” Kylo went to stride past him. Hux placed a hand on his shoulder, whispering in his ear.

“I know what you did... with the pilot on Jakku.”

The masked head twisted to face him.

“Not here.” Hux then started to continue up the corridor, away from Kylo, confident that he'd follow.

They silently circumvented the relatively empty corridors, to arrive at the familiar door. Hux pushed it open, then stepped inside, with Kylo behind him. The door slammed shut, as Hux turned to face him.

“Take off the mask!” Hux said, irritably.

He half expected Kylo to ignore such an order. However, the mask came off and hit the floor. Seeing Kylo's naked face, Hux felt something both mend and break within him. He felt torn between wanting to comfort the man before him, to erase the always tortured look with small kisses and touches, and wanting to destroy the man before him, to beat him, violate him, until his heart was as blackened and shrivelled as Hux felt that his own was.

“Snoke seems very much to trust you. In fact, it was him, who imparted to me the knowledge of your... interaction with the pilot on Jakku. I believe that he may be... mistaken, in you. You may have great power, but you are swayed, by the other side.”

Something flickered in the dark eyes.

“Tell me, was the pilot really that _good_?”

Kylo stepped forward and took Hux's face in his hands, leaning forward and brushing their lips together.

Don't let him do this, Hux told himself. He grabbed Kylo by the hair, shoving his tongue into his mouth, as he grinded his body against the taller man's.

He's manipulating you, Hux told himself, as he moaned. Don't let him-

Kylo dropped to his knees, quickly undoing Hux's uniform trousers, and pulling out his erection, then enclosing his mouth over his engorged member. Hux groaned, not caring any more, that he was meant to be angry with Kylo, to be proving a point to him. This was what he needed now, what he craved.

_No!_

“Stop!”

Kylo did as he bid, still on his knees, staring up at him.

_We shouldn't be..._

“Stand up!”

As soon as Kylo stood, he swung him around and slammed him, head first into the torture rack.

“I'm going to take you,” he whispered into Kylo's ear, as he grabbed his hands and started tying them to the rack. “Right here on this torture rack, you took the pilot on.”

No response. Hux half expected for Kylo to use the Force on him. Kylo could easily overpower him, without barely trying. Yet, as Hux quickly tied his feet to the rack, he didn't move, clearly acquiescing to his demands.

“Do you want me to stop?” he whispered, running his fingers through the thick dark curls of Kylo's hair.

“Don't stop...” Kylo whispered.”I want you.”

That was all Hux needed. He undid Kylo's belt and threw it to the ground, then grabbed Kylo's cloak and pulled it up his back, hastily rearranging his pants, so that his flesh was bare, before grabbing the lube from his pocket (where he always kept it handy) and swirling his fingers around, taking his time, in preparing him.

“Tell me,” he whispered, as his fingers stabbed inside Kylo. “Did he take the time to properly prepare you, as I do? He doesn't look the type, to me. I bet he just took you, hard and fast, not caring for your enjoyment.”

Kylo was silent.

Grimacing, Hux withdrew his fingers and slowly entered him.

“He does not know you. Not like I do. He doesn't know what you want!” He started to move, slow at first, before moving faster, harder, moaning with every stroke within the acquiescing body. His hands travelled freely over the hard muscles of his back, mouth sucking gently on the salty skin of his shoulder.

“It will be alright,” he whispered in Kylo's ear. “I will forgive you, this time.”

He pulled away and concentrated on the feel of the flesh beneath him, the heat and tightness around him. Within minutes, he was crying out his release.

“Yes,” he sighed, slowly releasing himself of his partner, and tucking himself back in, rearranging his clothes.. “You truly can be such a liability. Sometimes I wonder why Snoke keeps you around.” He bent down and undid Kylo's legs. “Although, I know why _I_ keep you around.” He then leant forward and kissed his left buttock, before standing up again and undoing the restraints on Kylo's hands.

He watched the other man pull up his trousers, smoothing his cloak down, then pick up his belt from the floor. Hux was always impressed by the absurd comportment that Kylo held, even despite the indignity of the past few minutes.

“I have heard... stories of you... you know. One is that you were an apprentice of Luke Skywalker. But you rightfully chose _our_ side, breaking free of his influence, with many of his other followers. It was these ex-students who formed the Knights of Ren.”

Kylo, who had now placed his belt back on around his waist, looked up to him, face creased in irritation.

“Just because we... engage in intimacy does not mean that I will share with you the private matters of my life!”

Hux felt the words cut through him, slicing his already blackened heart.

“Fine. We will keep matters as is, then. I do enjoy having my own personal _whore_.”

The sentence had the desired effect. Kylo flinched.

“You are under a misconception. _I_ am in control here, not you. I will cease the intimacy whenever I please,” Kylo snapped.

Hux stepped up to him, running a hand down his face. “You may have your Force and Snoke behind you. But I have the entire might of the First Order. You are not popular. Surely, you know this. Yes, I think you do. You _need_ me. You should be grateful that I crave this body, and this face so much.” He leant forward, claiming the lax mouth. Kylo did not reciprocate, this time. It was like kissing a droid. Disgusted, Hux let him go.

“Come with me down to the Starkiller Base. I have prepared a magnificent speech, before the launch of the weapon.”

“I'm certain your speech will bore me to tears,” Kylo said, stepping over and picking up the mask, from the ground. “I will stay up here, watch the destruction from aboard this vessel.”

“You know, I'm beginning to think that you don't want the destruction of the Republic!”

A sly smile twisted Kylo's face.

“No. You were right, when you said that you know exactly what I want.” Kylo leant forward, to whisper into his ear. “I do want you.”

This time, when Hux took his mouth, he reciprocated, moaning.

“Do as you wish,” Hux said, once they released. “I will come back later for you.”

*  
“Ah, ah, ah ah ah ah...” Hux thrust hard and fast, into the pliant body beneath him, gripping the strong thighs and pressing them harder against Kylo's stomach. They had never tried this position before, facing each other, with Kylo's long legs slung up over his head. Hux had to admit, he found it rather erotic, indeed; in particular, looking down at the much desired face of the one he was thrusting, with such enthusiasm into, admiring the always convoluted emotions in the dark eyes.

The firing of the weapon had occurred with spectacular efficiency, and he had been in the mood to celebrate. It was fortunate then, that not long after the final destruction of those pesky Republic planets (whereafter Snoke expressed his gratitude, for such a tremendous feat) Kylo had come down to the planet.

Yes, he couldn't think of a better way, indeed, to celebrate the final destruction of the enemy, than by having good, hard sex with his rather frustrating, but ultimately delectable partner.

He bent down and brought his face to his long neck, nuzzling, enjoying the salty taste of his sweat.

Kylo suddenly thrust up, gasping, a tremor running through his body.

“Yes, Kylo, this is-”

“She has it!” Kylo suddenly gasped.

Hux stopped thrusting, moving his face up to stare at him. Kylo's eyes were suddenly more alive and lustrous, than he'd ever seen them. They flicked to him, his expression indecipherable.

“Are you going to finish any time soon?” He asked, for a moment sounding almost petulant, before his mouth twisted into a half sardonic smile. “I want to feel your release, deep in me.”

Hux groaned, changing angles to thrust even faster.

“Is this better?” He asked.

“Yes, do it. Finish it.”

Kylo's words were having the right effect on Hux, who felt himself start to build up to the ultimate culmination.

“Oh yes, oh oh...” His mindless mumblings became straight screams. He pulled his head back and felt himself climax, harder than he had ever done previously. Moaning, as he came down, he started to suck on Kylo's neck, once more.

“Now get off me,” Kylo said, pushing him off himself. As he tumbled to the floor, Hux still felt dazed and a little unsteady from the power of his release.

“I know where they are,” Kylo said, as he started to redress.

“What?” Hux said, still gasping.

“The Resistance, idiot!” Kylo spat. “Or at least, I know where Solo is. He is with _her_. And _she_ has found it. She has found the lightsaber! She shouldn't have it. It's meant to be mine!”

Kylo wasn't making any sense. “Who is _she_?”

“Hurry up and dress,” Kylo demanded. “Phasma will knock on the door, at any moment, telling you that they know where Solo and the others have gone. I must leave now. It is my destiny to face him.”

“Who is _she_?” Hux asked, as Kylo redid his left boot, then reached for his cloak.

“ _She_ is not your concern,” Kylo said, placing the cloak back on. A knock sounded on the door.  
“Aren't you going to change?”

Hux hurried to grab his clothes.

*

Hux had found Kylo just in time. He lay huddled, hurt, in the frozen forest, cradling a stomach wound. As he pulled him up, and hustled him onto the craft, he had so many questions. The rumours that had been sparked would almost be enough to cool the frozen planet; Kylo had fought the storm-trooper who had escaped, with Poe Dameron, under Kylo's watch, Kylo had also fought the girl who he had inexplicably captured (and who had also escaped). There was a connection there, between the two, Hux was certain of it. The girl had bested Kylo. He was now bleeding profusely from the face.

As their craft took off, and the planet exploded behind them, Hux set course for Snoke's home planet, before finally moving to the back, to the injured Kylo. By now, the man had fallen unconscious. Hux had tended to the stomach wound, digging out the bullet and patching him up as best he could. He had also tended, as best the could, the wound on his face. The slice across his nose, would heal. However, there was no doubt he would now have a scar across his cheek. Hux did not care. As long as Kylo survived, he would handle a bit of a scar.

The main question that he had, however, concerned Kylo's father.

An hour into the journey, Kylo started to moan, to twitch. Hux, who had been in the cockpit, set the automatic pilot, then quickly went to him.

“Kylo...” He ran a hand through the dark hair.

“Where am I?” Kylo asked, sounding drowsy.

“Aboard my starship. The Resistance managed to blow up Starkiller Base. I got you out, just in time. Snoke has sent for you.”

Kylo went to rise. “Be still,” Hux gently pushed him back. “You have been injured.”

“The wookie... Chewbacca... shot me...”

Hux paused. “It's true, then? You killed Han Solo... your father?”

“I did what I had to. Yes, Solo is dead.”

“To be honest, I didn't think you had it in you. Congratulations!”

Kylo simply continued to stare at him. Hux couldn't understand why he appeared somewhat distraught. Surely, this was a good thing, his final ascent to the so-called 'Dark Side', or so Kylo and Snoke kept calling it.

“The girl, you brought in. Rumours were that she also had the Force.”

Kylo scowled.

“You fought her. She beat you.”

“I was injured!”

“Perhaps you let her beat you.”

“Perhaps I was concentrating on not bleeding to death! I think I put on a pretty good fight!”

“Who is she? You must know her?”

Kylo slumped down, closing his eyes.

“I'm very proud of you, today. You did very well. Snoke is proud of you, as well.”

The eyes flew open. “Proud? It was a mess! The entire day-”

“Sh...” Hux bent down and kissed him on the lips.

“Stop touching me!”

Well well, he simply turned into a little boy, when he was tired and injured.

“It's alright,” he ran a hand through his hair, once more. 'You accomplished something wonderful-”

“Don't-” He swatted at Hux's hand. Hux ignored him, delighting in the way the curls looped around his fingers. “She has cut your face. It will leave a scar. I don't care. Today, you proved to me that you are truly worthy of being a leader of the New Order.” He leant forward, kissing Kylo's ear. “I killed my father too, you know,” Hux laughed. “Bludgeoned him to death with a hammer, but not before slitting the throats of my mother and brother. I was then the sole beneficiary of his will. I was already a part of the Order, by then. They weren't too bothered by a bit of family murder. If anything, it helped advance me.”

He pulled back, to look at the beloved face.

“I see it, in your mind. There is no lie there,” Kylo said. “You are proud of your actions.”

“Aren't you? You killed Han Solo! You will go down in history of one of the great Leaders. You and me. I do believe that we are a perfect fit, don't you? We compliment each other, so nicely.”

“Leave me. I wish to sleep.”

“Now that the only ones left are small bunch of Resistance misfits, there will be nothing stopping us from garnering ultimate power. You can still even have that little pilot Poe, if you want. We can share him. But you will always be mine. All mine.”

He bent forward, to kiss him, once more, only to suddenly be thrust up and held, frozen, on the spot. Kylo partially rose from the bed, staring at him.

“I am not yours! I was never yours! I was using you! You were so blinded by your misguided, pathetic feelings for me, that you didn't see what was obvious! I kept you on my side, because it was the easiest path. But now, that Solo is dead, and Snoke knows of my true allegiance, I no longer have to pretend! Your attentions were pathetic. I never enjoyed the intimacy we shared. You were a terrible lover!”

_No, no that's not true._

“Tell yourself that. But it is. And Poe, he was amazing, incredible. I have never felt such extreme highs of emotion.”

Hux found himself suddenly able to move. He looked down at Kylo, tears burning his eyes.

_No, he will not disturb me in this way. I will not allow him._

“That time, you thrusted on top of me, while I lay, utterly bored, on the Starkiller Base, will be the last time that you get the chance to have my body. Touch me again and I will kill you!”

Hux could only stare at him, feeling the disparate emotions rush through his body, sorrow, jealousy, anguish, to finally arrive at pure fury.

“You _manslut_! You _whore_!” He screamed. “I will _kill_ you for this!”

He suddenly rushed at Kylo, only to be held back, in position, once more.

“You will try,” Kylo said, simply.

“I _despise_ you! I will _destroy_ you for using me this way! You don't know the extent of how I can hurt you! You will regret ever even _looking_ at me, you whore! And the pilot, I will make it my mission to find him, and follow through with my desire to violate him. When I threatened it, I saw real fear in his eyes. Your fellow manslut will not wish for any desire with another man, once I’m through with him.”

He stormed away, into the cockpit, slamming the door behind him, the tears spilling down his cheeks, which burnt with humiliation.

_How could he do this to me?_

No, he would not allow Kylo Ren to dictate his emotions.

_You are beyond that immature whore. You never loved him, you were simply infatuated._

Hux looked out of the bridge of the aircraft, allowing the once kernel of love nestled in his heart, to slowly turn to purest fury.

Movement sounded behind him. Perhaps Kylo was coming in to finally kill him.

Perhaps it would be a blessing.

Even though he had locked the door, the latch sprang, and Kylo lumbered in, his movements slow, halting.

“I... I did not mean to say-”

“Don't lie. You meant it.”

Kylo laughed. To Hux it sounded very forced.

“You truly can't believe that I would be talking straight, when I am injured and emotional?”

_I think it's possibly the first time you've ever told the truth to me._

“Decided to keep me on side, have you? Realised that your little outburst is not the best tactic? You know, you really need to control your temper. Maybe Snoke might have some luck with that,” he turned away from Kylo, to look out of the cockpit front screen, into the inky, almost starless sky.

“I wished to... provoke a response...”

Hux didn't understand why Kylo had come to him, now, after stating that there was no need to seduce him, any more, for his own benefit.

_Maybe Kylo feels the need to punish himself. Who cares, any more?_

Light fingers touched his shoulders, gently rubbing.

“Couples fight. It's inevitable,” Kylo said. “It doesn't meant they don't care for each other.”

This sounded so unlike anything that Kylo would ever say, that Hux suspected he was parroting the words, from someone else. Han Solo and General Organa, perhaps? He didn't even wish to consider what it would have been like, to grow up with such people. In Hux's mind, he wasn't surprised that Kylo turned out the way he did.

Not for one moment, did he believe that Kylo did not mean every word that he'd said to him. However, it was so rare, for the other man to be showing such open affection with him, he found himself unwittingly falling for it.

_I think, in the end, we'll destroy each other._

Hux turned to face him, cupping his face in his hands.

“Perhaps I should have you, right here on the console.”

“ No, I am still injured. It doesn't exactly put me in the right mood for-”

“I don't care! Maybe you should just accept that you deserve to be punished.”

Kylo pulled away, with a scowl on his face and something else in his eyes, beyond the usual anguish and fury.

Fear.

Hux felt himself be strengthened by the strong emotion, pouring from the dark irises.

“This time, I won't be gentle. After all, it won't be a punishment if you enjoy it,” he said, drinking in the disparate emotions crossing Kylo's face.

“You wish for more than the body I give? If you were to try and violate me, then it would defeat that entire desire, wouldn't it?”

Hux jolted, at his own misguided passions being used against him, in such a way. A part of him wished, even more now, to destroy Kylo in the fashion that he had just suggested, to punish him for such grotesque transgressions. But the larger part of himself felt the usual yearning sweep through his body, to have Kylo's mind, and soul, as well as his body.

“Go back and lie down,” he said, softly. “I promise you will not be molested.”

“It will all be alright. You'll see,” Kylo said, then departed the room, leaving Hux to his dark and troubled thoughts.

Tbc...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, back to Poe's pov.
> 
> I've updated the tags, as I see Hux and Kylo's relationship as being rather unhealthy and dysfunctional :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again, to all who are reading/commenting/kudoing.
> 
> This chapter has a fair bit of exposition, in regards to both Kylo, and Rey's backstories. I've taken aspects of both of them from the major theories, going around the internet, right now ;).

Poe sat, uncharacteristically alone in the shadowed booth, to the far left corner of the relatively empty cantina, his hooded cloak covering his recognisable face. He had stolen that particular idea from Kylo Ren; the very reason why he was in this execrable den of grotesquerie, on the far reaches of D'Qar, to begin with.

There would be no celebrations, from the Resistance, that night. Starkiller Base was destroyed, but too many had been lost, marking a time of mourning, followed by deliberation, into their next move.

A few hours before, he had been walking up the stairs, that lead to the front doors of the infirmary building, when his fellow pilot, Jess, had rushed up to him.

“Poe! Are you alright?” She had asked, sounding a little breathless.

“Well, I've been better.”

“I just... I just can't believe it.”

For a moment, Poe had been a little bewildered as to what, in particular, she was referring to.

“I just heard the news. Poor General Organa. My heart goes out to her.” She then must have seen the look on Poe's face. “Haven't you heard? Han Solo is dead.”

“Oh no...” Poe had felt his stomach instantly clench. He had only met the famed smuggler a few times, but he certainly knew a lot about him.

“It just gets worse. He was killed by his son.”

“His son?”

“Didn't you know? Kylo Ren was Han Solo's son.”

Feeling an almost literal jolt within himself, Poe had then clasped onto her shoulder, clenching so hard that she visibly flinched. “Tell me what you know.”

After hearing the full story, Poe had then departed, walking in the opposite direction, away from the infirmary.

Well, Finn was comatose anyway, so wouldn't exactly miss Poe not visiting. His new plan was to get blind drunk. So far, it was working well.

Yes, he decided that he wasn't going to think about the fact that he had seduced a man, who had then gone on to kill his own father; furthermore, whose mother happened to be the person that Poe respected most of all.

He took another swig of the disgusting brown liquid that was supposed to approximate alcohol, feeling the buzz in his body start to disintegrate to nausea.

Why didn't the General ever tell him that she had a son? No, he couldn't think that. It was none of his concern.

Only it certainly felt as though it _was_ his concern now, particularly after he'd had amazing sex with the conflicted man.

Could he have said something to Kylo? Could he have done something different, to sway him from his course of action?

No, Poe didn't wish to consider such prickly questions. In fact, he now decided that he didn't want to be drunk, after all. He wanted to have sex. Yes, that sounded exactly like the right action to take.

He leaned forward, to visually search the cantina The blond Miles Tylasshian sat at the bar, nursing a bright green drink. Miles had muscles the size of tree trunks and a big, saucer face, containing a squashed nose and piggy blue eyes; all of which made him look like he'd ran straight into a tree. In short, he looked nothing like the dark-haired, dark-eyed slender Kylo Ren, which was exactly what Poe was looking for. He'd caught the fellow pilot looking at him, a few times, over the years, but had never deigned to sleep with him.

_Well, Miles. Tonight is your lucky night._

Poe drunkenly stood and stumbled over to the bar, pulling the chair out beside Miles and slamming his body down into it.

“Hello!” He said, a little too loudly. The woman on the other side of him cast him an irritated look, before turning back to the green-spotted D'Quarian beside herself.

Ignoring her, Poe lifted the hood just enough, to show his face, to Miles. Consternation turned to surprise. “Poe Dameron? What do you want?”

Poe replied by placing his hand down on Miles' meaty thigh. “You.”

“You're drunk,” he said, plucking his hand off.

“Come on, they hire rooms above the hotel. Let's go have some fun.”

Miles was looking at him, as though he'd grown another head. “You've never even talked to me before!”

“I'm talking to you now. Bartender,” he signalled to the rather harried looking man. “How much to hire a room upstairs?”

*

As soon as they entered the room, Miles slammed Poe back against the door, his large mouth seeming to devour his entire face, tongue slimy and overly wet.

_Kylo seemed to know exactly what he was doing with his tongue...._

Deliberately banishing such thoughts from his mind, Poe sank to his knees, pulling down the man's pants, to reveal a rather average erection.

“Well, hello there,” he said, then bent his head forward and got to work, deliberately bobbing his head up and down on the erection so fast, that it felt like he was about to give himself whiplash. Certainly, that would be an interesting story, to have to explain to the General, as to why he could not pilot, for a few weeks.

“Damn, Poe! Wanna fuck you. Need to fuck you.”

Poe pulled away and they quickly shrugged off their clothes, before Poe climbed onto the bed, watching the man spit onto his fingers.

“I've wanted you for so long,” Miles said.

“I know,” Poe replied.

Miles climbed on top of him, his big, salivary mouth seeming to cover his entire neck, as he awkwardly stabbed inside him with his stubby fingers, that didn't quite reach his prostate. Poe told himself not to think of Kylo's long fingers, that pressed into that wonderful bundle of nerves every time, sending jolts of pleasure through his entire body.

_Killed Han Solo, remember?_

“Fuck me,” Poe begged, grabbing his own thighs, and holding them up, against his stomach, slinging his legs over his head. “Please.”

_Well, might as well get this over with._

Miles sighed, withdrew his fingers, and replaced them with his erection, gripping Poe's hips as he started hastily moving within him, grunting. Poe wriggled, in an attempt to find satisfaction.

_Nothing... this isn't.... I'm feeling nothing._

“Yes, yes yes oh yeah!” Miles suddenly shouted.

_Well, sounds like he's at least enjoying himself. He just isn't quite reaching..._

With frustration that had nothing to do with titillation building in his body, Poe thrust his hips up and down, in an attempt to get the right angle, so that Miles would be hitting the right spot.

“Oh yes, that's it, Poe! That's it!” Miles shouted, while still erratically thrusting.

_Nope... nothing..._

“I'm going to, I'm going to-” Miles then grunted; little, pig-like snorts coming out of his nose and mouth, and Poe felt the warmth of his release, inside him.

_Damn! That has to be the quickest sex I’ve ever had!_

How long had it been? Less than a minute?

_And what the hell were those noises he was making?_

As Miles slowly withdrew, nuzzling his neck, Poe bit his lip, to cease from laughing out loud.

“Thank you,” Miles said. “You know you're amazing. Just so damned gorgeous.”

“Mm...”

“I can't believe I just fucked the great Poe Dameron! Honestly, that was the best sex I've ever had.”

Miles then draped a hand over his waist and placed his head on the pillow. After a few minutes, his breath became deep and even.

So much for the idea of sex. That certainly wasn't the best that _he'd_ ever had. Far from it.

_What was the best? Being taken, hard against the torture rack? Or taking Kylo Ren, out in the middle of the Jakku desert? You certainly enjoyed those two experiences._

He told his irritatingly obstinate mind to shut up.

Shaking his head, Poe shook his arm off, got up, redressed and quietly crept out of the room.

*

For the next few days, Poe found it rather easy to avoid his fellow pilots, by hiding in his room, and abstaining from the places that he knew they would frequent. However, one afternoon, in the corridor, outside the main Resistance control room, the always crafty Jess came hurrying towards him. He half wondered if she had been waiting, for him to exit the room, to ambush him.

“I haven't seen you, in a few days. Everything alright?”

“I'm fine,” Poe smiled.

The concerned look did not fade.

“Well, I have some news that may cheer you up, anyway. Your pal from Jakku. Finn. He's awake.”

*

Finn had been transferred from his coma pod, to his own, private room, in the sick bay. When Poe came into the rather tiny cubicle, his friend was sitting up on his cot bed, looking out of the window, at the inviting blue sky, outside. Upon seeing him, Finn broke up into a warm smile, which Poe returned.

“You're looking good, for a guy that came off the worse in a lightsaber battle!” Poe said, reaching forward to eagerly embrace him. Both pulled away, still grinning at each other.

“What have you heard?” Poe asked, pulling the chair beside the bed closer, and sitting down.

“What have _you_ heard?”

“Well, that Kylo Ren killed Han Solo. You fought him in the forests of the Starkiller Base and ended up in a coma, as a result.”

“Well, _they_ told _me_ that you managed to destroy Starkiller Base. The Resistance also finally found out where Luke Skywalker is. Rey and Chewbacca have gone to find him.”

“Sorry that you've woken up, to find out that your new best friend has taken off on you,” Poe smiled again.

“I also heard that Rey fought Kylo Ren and almost defeated him. That she may have some sort of Jedi ability. From what I know of Rey, it's probably true. I mean the girl is pretty damned awesome!”

Poe couldn't help but smirk. He wondered if Finn had a bit of a crush on Rey.

“Ok, now tell me everything, in detail, from the moment you arrived on Starkiller Base.”

“As long as you then tell _me_ everything!”

*

“No man, you were awesome! I mean it, you were brilliant! You totally saved our butts,” Finn said, spraying food from his mouth, in his excitability. He was now onto solids and was attempting to slaw his way through a hilderbeast; not the most appetising of meals, at the best of times, but very good recovery food. “Did you always want to be a pilot?”

“Always,” Poe admitted. “My parents were actually on Yavin 4, during the ceremony giving ceremony, when the General was still officially a Princess. She gave medallions to Luke Skywalker and Han Solo, for their attack on the first Death Star of the Empire.”

Poe's fork froze, mid-air.

“That... is... fantastic! Mean... wow... that just blows me away! Tell me all about it.”

*

“You miss her, I can tell,” Poe said, watching Finn stare out of the window to a now snowy day, outside, a slight melancholy look on his usually cheery face. “The rumour is that Luke may be training her, to be a Jedi. But then, who knows for sure.”

“Well, whatever she's doing, I hope she's safe.”

“She's safe. If she wasn't, General Organa will know. She _always_ knows.”

Finn turned to face him directly, looking uncharacteristically serious.

“So.. what's up with you?”

“What do you mean?”

From his expression, Finn appeared to consider his next words carefully. “We're friends, right?”

“I like to think so. I mean, I have seen you, every day, for a week.”

“So, I think you’re hiding something. Like you're embarrassed about something, or you think you've done something wrong.”

Poe inwardly sighed, considering whether to deny it. In the three weeks, since he had come back to D'Qar, he hadn't spoken to anyone about what occurred between him and Kylo Ren. The knowledge felt as though it was eating through his innards.

“I messed up. Messed up badly,” he glanced to the door, checking that it was closed.

“I can't see _you_ doing anything to mess up that badly.”

“Well this was... this was pretty bad.”

“What did you do?”

Poe hesitated.

“Come on, Poe. I initially lied about the fact that I'm an ex-stormtrooper. Told Ren that I was a major part of the Resistance.”

“Yes, but that was cute,” Poe smiled. This time, Finn did not return the expression.

_Ok, alright..._

“You know when you rescued me? Well before that, I was tortured. Kylo Ren managed to get the information about where the map was, from my mind, using his powers.”

“I already knew this, I don't understand-”

“There's more. Look, I had no idea that Han Solo and General Organa were Kylo Ren's parents.”

Finn looked concurrently concerned and confused, marking his face with the most exquisite expression.

“Although, it makes sense now. He was using his powers to try get information out of my mind and I gave this memory of General Organa.. He just went nuts, threw the helmet off. I looked at his face and... I don't know... there was a vulnerability there... I actually found him very attractive.”

_Just say it._

“We ended up having sex right up against the torture rack.”

Finn's mouth literally dropped open. He then reacted in a way that Poe could not have predicted .He had expected shock, perhaps even anger and disgust.

Finn burst out laughing. “If it was anyone else...” He laughed even harder, hand clenching at his stomach, as though he was in pain. “I mean, this guy _killed_ Han Solo... I don't even know why I'm laughing. I guess the fact that it's you... That's one way to manipulate your captor!”

Poe started to laugh a little himself, seeing the humour of the situation.

“Damn, Poe. You don't stop, do you? You never stop!” He wiped his eyes, then the laughter abruptly stopped, a sudden terror appearing in the brown irises. “You did want it, didn't you? He didn't force you?”

“Oh I very much wanted it.... Just like I wanted it the second time.”

“Second time?” Finn suddenly appeared very amused again.

“After I was thrown from the tie-fighter on Jakku, I told you I was wandering the desert, when I found a craft to fly. What I didn't add was that I ran into Kylo Ren. He was on some sort of solo sabbatical. We ended up having sex again.”

_Technically twice. But maybe it's best for Finn not to see me as the total manslut that I am._

“How... how does that even happen?”

“I don't know! He had this fire so I sat down by it. I... grabbed his lightsaber at one point, was going to use it on him, to steal the tie-fighter he'd come down to Jakku on. But he... he's so incredibly messed up-”

“Strangely enough, most people don't see someone who's 'messed up' and automatically then want to seduce them! I'm surprised he didn't take your damned head off! See now I’m disappointed. He just wanted to kill me and Rey. He had no desire to have sex with either of us,” Finn teased.

“Look, I don't know myself what the hell happened there. Plus, I get the feeling that he was as mystified by it as I was.”

“Well, you're crazy. I mean this in the best possible way, but you are utterly insane.”

“The funny thing is, after we had sex against torture rack, this guy came in. Seemed pretty high up.”

“General Hux?” Finn asked, his face suddenly darkening.

“Yeah, maybe. Red hair? Snooty looking?”

“Sounds like Hux.”

“Ok, well Hux came in and seemed pretty annoyed by the fact that Kylo Ren had me prisoner. It sounds crazy, but I got the funny feeling that he was... jealous-”

“I knew it!” Finn shouted. “I always thought there was something going on between them.”

“Hm... well... maybe...”

“You know what I think you should do? You need to tell the General.”

“Actually, that’s the one thing that I _don't_ want to do.”

“I think she'd want to know. It's her son.”

“Yes, I can see that going down extremely well. Hi, The Most Important Woman in My Life, Who I Absolutely Love and Adore. Just wanted to say, you know that son of yours who killed your ex-husband? Well, while I was on a mission for you, I had sex with him. Twice.” _Well, technically three times. Damn, this just keeps sounding worse._

“Exactly! You got to know him in a way that no one else here has! He allowed you to seduce him! Personally, I think he's a lost cause. But he's her son. I bet she'd want to believe, even now, that he can be saved.”

“There's something else. When Hux came in, he... he threatened to rape me.”

All of the good humour instantly wiped from Finn's face.

“Son of a bitch! I always knew he had that rapey vibe to him.”

“Kylo Ren, he stopped it from happening. More than stopped it. Used the Force, to throw Hux back. I heard him whisper something to Hux and then Hux left the room.”

“He didn't hurt you, did he?” Finn asked. “I know, for a fact, that Hux is a horrible son-of-a-bitch.”

“No, he just... touched me. Touched my hair and face. I hated it. He told me he'd enjoy getting the information out of me. He didn't straight out _say_ that he was going to rape me. It was just very heavily implied.”

“And Kylo stopped him?”

“He seemed pretty angry at him, for touching me.”

“Sounds like he likes you, crazy as it is. Honestly, Poe. I really think you need to tell the General.”

“Maybe she doesn't want to hear anything about her son, right now.”

“I don't think so. Look, she's a good, kind woman, isn't she?”

“She's the best!” Poe felt almost offended that Finn would even ask such a question.

“Then I bet, like most good, kind people, she would want to think that even the worst people, can be redeemed. No matter what they have done. I think, if you tell her what you've told me, it may give her that hope.”

“Damn, I’m going to have to tell her, aren't I?”

“So... I don't even know why I'm asking this. How was it, anyway? Um... the sex with your enemy?”

“It was... amazing.”

_That's the worst part of it, in a way._

“Well, that's good. I'd hate to think that you seduced your enemy, only for the sex to be so-so,” Finn said, laughing.

*

The main bridge was, as ever, a hive of activity, various Resistance members tapping away at consoles, pouring over maps or bunched together, in groups, talking tactics. Poe was more than aware that just because Starkiller base was destroyed, this did not mean that the work was complete. Indeed, they now held even loftier aims. Poe nodded at his colleagues, as he passed, beelining for the General, who stood, as usual, right in the centre, looking down at a set of blueprints.

“General!” Poe said, saluting.

General Organa looked up. “Admiral Ackbar, I wish to speak to Dameron. Can you take over?”

“Certainly, General,” Ackbar, standing beside Organa, said.

“This way,” she signalled.

Gulping down sudden, atypical anxiety, Poe silently followed her off the bridge and down a narrow corridor.

“There is something I wish to show you,” she suddenly faced him,a slight smirk twisting her lips up. “This may be of some... enlightenment to you. And your friend, Finn. When he is better, bring him to me. He should also see this.”

A guard stood before the door, of what Poe knew to be a prison cell. He nodded and saluted the General, and then swung the door open. Poe stood at the entrance, then smiled at the one seated inside. A First Order junkie to the core, she had not taken off her helmet, or, indeed any of her armour.

_Well, at least she'll be warm. I hear these cells can be pretty drafty._

“Last I heard, you were going to be food, for the Starkiller trash monster,” Poe enjoyed seeing the Captain so defeated, seated on a small cot, with her head facing the ground.

“Captain Phasma was rescued, on my orders, before Starkiller Base was destroyed. I am showing to her that we are compassionate to our prisoners, here, unlike her First Order,” Organa explained.

“You might as well torture me. You will get nothing out of me!” Phasma said.

“Oh I’m sure you've already _been_ torturing her with the cantine food,” Poe joked.

“The _pretty one_ ,” Phasma said, her masked face looking up to directly face Poe. She then turned her head slightly, towards the General. “Your _son_ certainly seemed to think so, when he captured him, I could tell. Oh don't worry, he didn't do anything that _this one_ didn't like.”

Poe felt his stomach twist in intricate, painful little knots.

“Yes, I enjoyed being mind-raped and then having General Hux come in and _literally_ threaten me with rape.”

“Yes, well I always suspected that Hux was quite the sick one,” Phasma said, her helmeted head moving back towards General Organa. “That wouldn't surprise me in the least. You should see the way he treats your son.” Poe could hear an odd gloat, in her voice.

She's enjoying this, he realised.

“Yes, he treats your _precious_ Ben like a whore. And what's incredible, is that your little _Benny_ takes it. What, do you think I didn't know who he was? Skywalker Solo Ky-Lo. Doesn't take a genius to work out,” Phasma said.

“I've heard enough,” General Organa said. “Come now, Dameron.”

As both walked out of the cell, Phasma called out after them. “Can't wait to see FN2187 again. We'll have a nice little chat about Polo Hux.”

Who the hell is Polo Hux? Poe thought, as the door closed behind them, but then decided that there were more, pressing, matters to consider.

“You wish to speak to me, don't you? This way,” General Organa lead him down the corridor, then silently down another, to a rather intricately carved wooden door, on the left. She pressed her hand to the keypad, to the side of the frame, then pressed open the door and stepped in. Poe came in behind her. They appeared to be in a library, of sorts, three walls of the room stacked, from ceiling to floor, with cases full of books. A dozen or so small, circular tables, sat on the ground, with pouffes surrounding them. Organa directed him to the closest two pouffes, and both sat down.

“We have known each other so long. How about if we call each other by our first names, when we are not on the job, so to speak? Leia,” she smiled.

“Poe.”

“Nice to meet you,” she said, wryly. “Now, what is it that pains you?”

_Where to even begin?_

“I had no idea that Kylo Ren was your son, until very recently.”

“Not exactly something we wanted made public. For obvious reasons,” Leia said. “You know him, don't you?”

_Well, that's one way of putting it!_

“How about you start from the beginning. Whatever you want to tell me about, it happened when you were captured, didn't it?”

“Kylo Ren... Your son... Ben...”

“Kylo Ren is who he is now.”

“Ok, well it's true. I was captured, tortured. You heard all of this, in my debriefing, afterwards. You should also know that I wasn't entirely... truthful, in that debriefing.”

“Yes, I knew that,” Leia said, kindly.

_Damn..._

“Ok, so Kylo Ren came in, did the whole mind-rape thing. All of these memories were coming out. One of them was of you. After my father died. You comforting me. I could sense Kylo losing the telepathic link, so I clamped onto the memory. Then, Kylo lost the link completely. He seemed... distraught. Another memory came into my mind. Only it wasn't mine. You were throwing your son up and down, calling him your beautiful boy. I think that he was so distraught that he didn't even realise that he'd placed that in my mind. He tore off the mask and I saw... his face. He looked so young. So human. So...” _Striking...._

_Just say it._

Poe felt his cheeks start to burn. “Next thing I know, we're kissing. I think he was as confused about the whole thing as I was. He didn't force me in anyway, in fact I wanted it. He actually _asked_ to make love to me. At first, I thought it was a joke. Here was a man who had just murdered Lor San Tekka, in front of me. He told me that the slaughter of the villagers was merely necessary to complete their operation. He took no pleasure in it. But Lor San Tekka, that was personal.” Poe looked away from the brown eyes, so similar to her son's, seeming to burn straight through him, straight to his soul. “We... made love. I know how crazy it sounds. But he wasn't rough, or dominating in any way. When it was over, he told me that it was wrong, what he had just done,” he suddenly remembered. “Then he asked about you! That's it. He asked how I know you. I didn't answer. He's not... he's not this evil overwhelming monster. When he was with me he seemed... torn...”

He finally looked up to her face. She looked concurrently vulnerable, but also brittle, determined. Her expression gave him strength to continue.

“I even told him that his struggle was obvious, to me. He said he had no choice. He said this, while he was openly crying, mind. Even so, I knew there was no getting through to him. Not then. I knew he was about to try and mind-rape me again. And he actually apologised for it. Said he'd take no pleasure from it.” He took a deep breath. “Then General Hux came in, told Kylo to leave us... implied he was going to rape me... Kylo, he used the force to throw Hux back, then lifted him up in the air. I could see Kylo whispering to him. When Hux then left, I just felt so overcome with relief. Kylo put the mask back on and was then... successful with the mind-rape.”

“This General Hux... do you think what Captain Phasma said has any truth to it?”

“That I don't know for sure. What I can say is, after Kylo successfully obtained the information from me and left, Hux then re-entered the room. Seemed determined to know what had happened between me and Kylo. To be honest, he sounded more than a little jealous.”

“Hm...” From her expression, second to Poe stating that Hux had wanted to rape him, this information seemed to particularly distress Leia.

“There's more, isn't there?”

“I... ran into him again, on Jakku. He had taken a tie-fighter down to the planet. Told me he'd come down to meditate. I... sat by the fire that he'd built. He just had his lightsaber, sitting beside him. I grabbed it and held it to him. He _let_ me grab it. Told me to just do it. To end it. That he couldn't bear being in such pain any more.”

At this, tears pooled in Leia's eyelids, then trailed down her face.

“I'm sorry,” he said.

“Continue, please.”

“I... I just couldn't....I put the lightsaber down and we... made love again. After, I told him to switch sides. That we'd protect him. He said he couldn't ever go back. He then told me that _I_ should switch sides. Well, I told him exactly what I thought of that idea. I mentioned you. And he went _white_. He told me not to talk about you again. When I asked what the deal was, with you and him, he... this time _he_ seduced _me_. When it was finished... he...” Poe remembered the smile. “I saw him. I saw your son. In his smile. He looked beautiful.”

A light came into the familiar brown irises then, Leia's lips crinkled upwards.

“He used the force to knock me out. When I awoke again, he was gone.”

“I knew it. Even with what he did... Ben is still there. I will not lose my son as well as Han. I refuse,” Leia said.

Poe felt relief rush through himself. It was over. He had told her. Regardless of whatever punishment she saw fit to give him, at least the truth was out.

“Thank you, Poe.”

Poe's shock must have been evident on his face.

“What, you thought I would be angry with you? You brought out a glimpse of the boy he was, before Snoke... profaned him in such a manner, with his lies. Growing up, he was always so active, running, from place to place. Han and I we...we fought. A lot. I was always so busy with the Republic and the Resistance. And Han... well, Han was Han. It was rare to find time to actually just sit with Ben. Yes, it has taken a long time, for me to accept my fault, in what happened. We were... neglectful. Ben needed an authority figure and Snoke just stepped right in. Luke, he tried so hard... but Snoke had already started to brainwash Ben. He had seemed... so nice, at first, just a grandfatherly figure.”

She paused, and a terrible sadness came over her face, which seemed to sag, as though all of the muscles had, out of pure fatigue, forgotten how to hold the flesh in place.

“Luke was actually with me, when the massacre happened. Some silly business, for the Republic. Kylo brought together other apprentices of Luke and formed the Knights of Ren and they slaughtered the other apprentices, who wouldn't comply. All, but for one.”

“Who?” Poe asked.

“Rey managed to hide.”

Somehow, this information was not a big surprise, for Poe. If anything, it all made disturbing sense.

“Rey is Luke's daughter, isn't she?”

Leia nodded. “His wife died, giving birth. We, of course, felt the slaughter, straight away and made our way back to Luke's temple. The Knights of Ren had gone and we found Rey cowering, under a loose floorboard, deep in the cellar. We knew that the Knights would come looking for her, so we felt the best option was to drop her off at her mother's home planet.”

“Jakku.”

“Lor San Tekka went as well. He was like a grandfather to her. Offered to stay, look over her. Luke wiped her of her memories of being trained.”

“So, the Knights of Ren never found her?”

“They came to Jakku just two days later. We thought hiding her in plain sight would work. That they wouldn't possibly think to go there. We were wrong. Lor San Tekka told us that they started slaughtering villagers. Kylo came across Rey and, rather than kill her, he hid her, from the other Knights.”

“Kylo _saved_ Rey? Why?”

“Because of the battle that you speak of. Because there is still light in him. Of course, I think that he has conveniently forgotten what he would see as his greatest failure; that he saved the very girl who may turn out to be the one to destroy Snoke.”

Poe tried to take this all in. He felt his head start to thump, pressure building in the cranium.

“Do you think Luke is training her, now?”

“I always believed that he would find the strength, to train a Jedi again. Yes, I think he is training her. Just as Snoke will be training Kylo.”

The pain behind his temples started to exacerbate. Multicoloured patterns were appearing in the sides of his eyes. His stomach twisted with nausea. He was getting a migraine, he was certain of it.

“He will come back to me, Poe. I will not rest until my boy is back home with me. The man that killed Han, that wasn't my Ben. That was Snoke. And I will make sure that Snoke suffers greatly for it,” she gently grabbed his hands, looking at him with great warmth. “He felt a connection to you... and I believe you, to him. Past the mask that he wears on his true face. We'll get him back, Poe. For the both of us.” She let him go. “If my Ben, as in my _real_ Ben, was to be with anyone, _you_ would be the person I would choose, so it's worked out perfectly, hasn't it? We just have to bring him back.”

*

“So, you told her?” Finn asked, as Poe came into his room and collapsed into the chair, by his bed. “Damn, you look white! Didn't go well, did it?”

Finn deserved to know the truth.

As Poe recited to him what Leia had told him, he noticed various expressions cross the animated face.

“Rey is Luke's daughter? That's freaking me out, man!” A sudden, almost shy expression overcame his face, then. “Do you think... you and I might have the Force?”

“No,” Poe said, simply.

“Damn... So she really believes she can bring her son back? I mean, I know he's her son but... I was there, remember, when he killed Han Solo? That man is not coming back.”

With his head now feeling as though it was being struck repeatedly with a hammer, Poe simply didn't know what to think.

tbc...


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lotsa smut, in this chapter. :)
> 
> I'll admit, I've not read any of the expanded series, so the character reveal, in this chapter, is based only on their brief mention in the (dreaded) prequels, and internet rumour.

The green and black spotted amphibiod creature was small enough to fit inside the palm of his hand.

Kylo had endured three weeks of physical labour so intensive that his body was covered in cuts and bruises, his muscles screaming with pain. Three weeks of mental anguish so acute that his mind felt as though it had been split open, with a rusty hacksaw, before being slammed back together again, jumbling the meaty parts together.

His master had demanded perfection of him. Kylo had carried heavy loads on his back, well past the point where his body was screaming, with excruciating agony, from the strain. He had repelled the most repulsive of attempted mental violations, in which his entire past was scoured open, all of the emotions, from both his best and worst memories, amplified a thousand times over. He had used his powers to lift heavy objects, including his own spacecraft, high into the air. Kylo's face felt as though it would crack, along the very edge of his scar, wide enough to tear bloodily open, from the concentration.

But now, it simply came down to this tiny native creature. He focused all of his might on the amphiboid; reaching, with his mind, through the thin slimy green skin, past the protective layers, to the still heart, beneath. He focused his life force on the creature, sweat dripping off his face, his body trembling. Gradually, little by little, he felt the merge, as his life force joined with the creature's.

Ba-ba-boom.

The first flicker of a heartbeat.

Ba-ba-boom. Ba-ba-boom.

The amphiboid's tiny organ visibly thumped, in and out of it's chest. It gave a loud croaking sound.

Kylo smiled, placing it down, then absently pointed his hand at it. The amphiboid exploded, in a bright red shower of blood. He then waved his hand over a dead flower, watching it instantly stand upright, transform from dull brown, to bright red, once more.

“Very good,” His master said. Kylo was sitting on his knees. Standing, the very frail looking man reached his eye level. “You have learnt the ultimate secret, my great apprentice. That the greatest power, is to be master of life and death. Come, I have a surprise for you.”

Kylo stood, and allowed the hooded figure, to lead him away from the haphazardly perishing and flourishing forest, that catered to most of his training, to the tiny, ancient, scorched temple, that sat at the very edge. Kylo stepped through the heavy double doors, then stopped, frozen, at the sight of the man kneeling, just before the great altar, his hands tied behind his back.

“I sense surprise,” His master said.

Kylo stepped closer, drinking in the sight, before him. The kneeling man trembled slightly, licking his lips. His dark curls were plastered all over his sweaty face.

“I will leave you. You are welcome to your reward. But Kylo,” As Kylo went to move forward, he stopped him, with a hand, on his arm. Kylo heard his voice, in his mind.

_You must take his life, once you are done._

Hearing his master step away, Kylo nodded to himself. Of course. There could be no other way. However, to have him, once more. For the first, and perhaps last time, to have another who equally wanted him, seemed too good an opportunity to pass up.

He knelt before the handsome man. His beautiful eyes were alight with fear but also another, more familiar emotion.

“Why are you here?” He asked, reaching forward, to run his hands through the soft curls.

“Do you want me?” Poe asked.

“You know I do,” he smoothed his hand over his cheek, then leant forward.

As soon as their lips touched, he realised the truth. This was not Poe Dameron. He smelt different, tasted different. The Fake-Poe moaned, clashing his tongue with Kylo's. In fact, he tasted like-

Kylo pulled away.

Perhaps it didn't matter. This was Poe's visage, wasn't it? He could technically have the pilot, even if it was truly Hux.

Leaning forward, once more, he locked lips again, with the fake Poe. This time, the kiss had more heat to it. He felt Fake-Poe's hands touching his own hair. The body felt right, only the smell...

Poe smelt of sour sweat and jet fuel.

Hux's cologne was sickeningly sweat.

“No!” Kylo screamed and, before he even realised what he was doing, pulled out the lightsaber, switched it on, and stabbed it, deep into Fake-Poe's chest. The brown eyes widened momentarily, before he collapsed. Kylo withdrew the lightsaber and dropped it.

It was Han Solo, all over again. He had to do it, he told himself. It was necessary, for his development.

_I had no choice. Please, Grandfather... help me..._

Before him, the hair on the figure, slumped on the ground, started to lighten, to straighten, the body started to change shape, elongating, becoming slighter, the uniform changed from orange, to black.

As his master came back into the room, clapping, Hux now lay on the floor, before him.

“Now, bring him back, like you did the flowers, and the swamp creatures, outside.”

“I can't. It's impossible,” Kylo baulked.

“Do it! Now!”

Kylo knelt before Hux, staring at the white, waxy face. No, he couldn't do it. It was too much. The tiny little swamp creatures were one thing but this... this human being...

Closing his eyes, he meditated, feeling the Force move through him. As he placed his hand over the still heart, his body started to vibrate with power, great warmth radiating off his palms. He closed his eyes, concentrating all of his might, his will, his determination, his life force, into the body before him. His skin broke out into goosebumps, electricity lifting his hair. Now Hux's body was starting to vibrate. His own heart pulsed, faster, faster. His blood rapidly heating, boiling, under his skin. He started to scream. Now his head had been sawed open, scraped free. The wound, in Hux's body started to close up, the flesh knitting together, becoming seamless.

The heart, beneath his hand gave one, weak beat, the atrial and ventricular valves snapping closed, followed by the mitral and tricuspid valves.

Lub dub.

The blood started to fill the ventricles again, from the atrias. The four valves opened again, the blood rushing through to the lungs, then around the body. Then the valves closed again.

Lub dub.

Then another.

Lub dub.

Then another; a slow, unsteady beat, moving faster.

Lubdublubdublubdub.

The lungs started to inflate, then deflate. Gasping in both horror and astonishment, at what he had done, Kylo moved his hand off Hux, eyes widening, as the general opened his mouth, gasping, then opened his eyes. His expression looked to be as astonished, as Kylo was.

“You have done well,” his master said.

Kylo collapsed, his entire body feeling weak, the muscles barely refusing to co-operate. He felt fatigue wash over him so strong, that he could easily have slept, where he lay, for what conceivably could be days, months.

“Yes, the giving of life takes such effort that it weakens the body and mind. You will be incredibly weak, for the rest of the night. You deserve a break. Hux, take him to his room,” the frail man came over and untied Hux's hands.

Kylo looked at the tiny Sith before him, the one he only previously knew as Snoke.

_Only that wasn't true, was it?_

“Thank you for teaching me such power, Darth Plageus.”

A tiny smile broke out, on the wizened face. “You never were a fool, Kylo. Part of the reason why I picked you, to begin with. You may rest now. In the morning, we will speak more about the responsibilities of your new-found power.”

*

Hux placed his arm around his shoulders, virtually dragging him into the tiny cot and rickety bedside table, towards the back of the temple, that served as a bedroom. Hux threw him down on the mattress, where he lay, barely able to even move his body, to a slightly more comfortable position.

Hux sat at the edge of the bed, silent a moment.

“I was wandering... in a grey land. That was my death. It was bitterly cold. Lonely. I saw no other souls,” he paused. “You killed me.”

“Darth Plageus had disguised you as Poe Dameron.”

“Yes."

Hux arranged Kylo's weakened body, so he lay on his back, then climbed on top of him, to look down at him.

“You knew it was me. I could tell. You pulled away, when you realised the error. And then you. Killed. Me!”

“I brought you back,” Kylo said. “I gave you the ultimate gift. Tell me, what was it like, being brought back from death?”

Hux continue to stare down at him, his expression cold, impenetrable.

“I _despise_ you, but you have your uses,” he undid Kylo's belt, then flung it to the ground.

Sex and death, Kylo thought, feeling Hux's hands grope at his body, as he hastily removed his clothes. The ultimate combination.

Hux's fingers slowly entered him, preparing him. He could hear the general’s harsh breathing, feel his lips against his chest. It seemed the deep scar across his right cheek did not deter the general's lust.

“You don't despise me,” Kylo said. “Not in the least. That is your weakness.”

Hux looked into his face, expression softened.

“I had to do it. Snoke ordered it. I had no choice,” Kylo said.

“Would you have done it, if Poe Dameron truly was there?”

“Yes, I would still have done it.”

Hux leant forward, taking his lips in a crushing kiss, then rolled him over onto his front.

Feeling the general enter him, it occurred to him that his current inability to move, due to his extreme fatigue, seemed to be in Hux's favour. His mind went to Poe. Kylo had not had sexual relations with anyone, male or female, other than those two. Hence, he could only compare one to the other.

He recalled when Poe had taken him, sitting upright; how he had moved, in time with the pilot. Likewise, when he had thrusted into the pilot, Poe had also moved, thrusting up and down, in unison with him. It felt more like a kind of of fluid primeval dance, as compared to the intimacy with Hux; where he lay, subservient and Hux simply took what he needed.

“Ah! Ah ah ah ah...” Hux said, with every thrust, one hand on Kylo's hip, the other running through his hair. Every fifth or so thrust, Hux hit that spot, that sent pleasure through his body. Only, it wasn't like Poe, who deliberately angled his thrusts, to hit his prostate, with some power, every time, sending thrills of delight through him.

Kylo told himself to forget about Poe. He would be dead soon. All of the Resistance would be. But Hux, Hux was alive. Gloriously so, thanks to Kylo's machinations. Plageus obviously thought Hux to be very important, to their cause.

Yes, he would allow Hux his fun, with his body.

A part of him, that now knew what true gratification felt like, simply wished that he could feel any hint of it, with the general.

Hux started to thrust erratically, lips sucking on his neck.

“Mmm... mmm...”

Kylo felt the familiar warm rush within himself. It was over. Hux tenderly withdrew himself, before rolling him onto his back. For a moment, Hux simply stared at him, his emotions hidden. Kylo realised that, for the first time, he could not read any of what Hux was thinking, could not even receive the slightest whisper of a word.

The slap across his face, was so hard that it drove him half-way off the bed. With his cheek stinging, he moved back up, concentrating his powers, attempting to use the Force to clamp Hux's larynx, to throw his body, hopefully, with enough force, about the room, to snap his bones, tear open ligaments.

Nothing happened. Hux simply sat there, watching the ill-Force-attempt, an amused look on his face.

“Not working?” He asked.

Sweat was dripping down Kylo's face. No, he couldn't do it. The Force was not working, for him. He was simply too fatigued, his brain too overworked. Exhausted, he dropped his hand.

“You deserved that, you know it,” Hux said, leaning down. Realising that he was attempting to kiss him, Kylo moved his head. “Ok, that's ok...” Kylo felt rough hands run through his hair. He turned his head back to look at Hux, who was now looking down at him,with that almost pitiable craving in his eyes.

“In my opinion, your eyes are just as beautiful as the pilot's,” Hux said, reaching down to stroke along his cheek, where he knew the scar was. His fingers then trailed lower. “These lips...” This time, Kylo opened his lips, allowing Hux to kiss them, tongue lingering in his mouth. Hux then pulled away, hand still in his hair.

“Do not strike me,” Kylo warned.

“I never do anything that you don't deserve,” Hux then grabbed Kylo's arms and flung them back down onto the bed, holding them to the mattress. For a moment, both stared at each other.

“You meant what you said, after I took you off Starkiller Base. Admit it. You feel nothing for me.”

“Why does it matter, what I feel? I willingly give you my body.”

“With about as much enthusiasm as one of my stormtroopers, coming in for their annual physical check up!”

“Perhaps that says more about your... technique...”

A slow smile crept over Hux's face. “What is our record? Four times in one night? I think we can do better...” He started to kiss down Kylo's chest. Kylo's mind unwittingly went to Poe, once more.

_“Wow! You're clothes don't do you justice!”_

The lust, pouring out of the dark brown irises, the feel of Poe's tongue, swirling around his nipples, over the defined muscles of his chest. Hux's mouth travelled down further, taking Kylo into his mouth. His mind went back to the ecstasy, of being with Poe, that coursed through his body; an overwhelming feeling that he had never felt with Hux, not even when his mouth was on his growing erection, as it was now.

Hux moved up his body, grabbing his legs and hooking them around his waist, taking his time to prepare him, his hands stroking his erection. Kylo closed his eyes, and gave in, to what pleasure he could, gasping.

“Yes, yes...” Hux said, his fingers jabbing at Kylo's prostate. He then withdrew, and replaced them with his erection. As Hux started thrusting, Kylo's mind went back to what he had said of his death. Wandering, in a grey land. Was this what he had to look forward to?

No, what was he thinking? He could control death, now. He would never die. Kylo looked up, to the red-faced, sweaty man on top of him. How pathetic Hux now looked, to him, his veins standing out, on his forehead. Hux's only desires were so easily assuaged. So simple a man.

His fatigue drowned any initial pleasure that he had felt. He realised that he craved sleep. Hux no doubt wanted to beat their record. This simply wasn't going to happen. Not that night. He looked up, almost in fascination, at Hux, whose head was drawn back, mouth gasping.

“You're in love with me,” he said, simply.

Hux looked down at him, momentarily stilling.

“You killed me, yes. But you also brought me back.” He started to move again, slower, shallower, his hand gently running through Kylo's hair, again. “There is more between us, I know it, than merely you just giving yourself to me. You just haven't seen it yet.”

No, Kylo did not see it. He didn't think he ever would.

“This isn't working,” he sighed.

Hux's hand wandered down to fondle him, as he moved a little faster. “It's ok, I'll make you-”

“Get off me!”

Hux was suddenly launched, not only off him but across the room. He landed hard against the wall, screaming, as his skull cracked the wooden panelling.

Kylo felt himself shake with undefined fury. He lifted his hand and Hux was thrown forward, onto the ground. In his ire, his powers were back.

“Stop this, Kylo!” Hux screamed.

Kylo twirled his hand. Hux started to spin on the spot, getting faster, faster. The general started screaming in terror, unable to stop his circling body. Kylo stopped the spinning, and Hux vomited, all over the wooden floor boards. Kylo lifted him up again, and threw him back onto the bed, climbing on top of him, and using the Force to jam his jaw shut.

“Do you know the extent of my powers now? I could _crush_ you with merely a thought! Now get out of my room!”

He then used the Force, to throw Hux onto the ground, once more.

“I never doubted your abilities. Your power is pretty obvious." Hux stood up. “ _You're_ the one that _allows_ this to happen, that allows me to take you. I'm sure it's probably your lack of confidence, even now, or those pathetic mummy and daddy issues. I don't care. Not when I can reap the benefits,” He took a tentative step forward. “For one who desires so much to have ultimate power, you truly are a pathetic soul.”

“And yet you look at this _pathetic soul_ , with those ridiculous, puppy-dog expressions. What do you think will be the outcome, here? That we will rule the universe in the day, and at night, stare into each other's eyes, exchanging endearments?”

A stricken look very quickly passed through Hux's face, but was righted, straight away.

“And I told you before not to strike me!” He said, pointing his hand at Hux's face. Hux gasped, as a sharp cut appeared, on the left side of his jaw. Hux placed his hand to it, looking at the blood with more curiosity, over anger.

“Mummy and daddy never gave you any punishment, did they? No wonder you-”

He started clawing at his neck, eyes bulging, as Kylo shut off his larynx. Simple but effective.

“Do not ever talk about my parents!” He released Hux. “Now, apologise for slapping me.”

“You’ve seen me murder billions of people, and you want me to apologise for one little slap?”

Kylo stared at him, waiting.

“I am not the one with the temper problem! You just killed me! I had to... correct you in some way.”

“I am no child!”

“Yes...I can see that...” Hux said, eyes deliberately moving down his naked body.

Irritated, Kylo grabbed the upper sheet, pulling it over his torso.

“Stop being so ridiculous. It's not anything that I haven't seen before! Look, we're both tired. Tempers are high. Maybe we should just sleep.”

He started to move towards the bed.

“I already told you to leave!”

“It's alright. I'm not going to ravish you,” Hux continued to move forward. “Not unless you want me to.”

“I wish to be alone.”

“It's been three weeks,” Hux said. “I will admit, I missed you.”

“Yes, I also missed the _scintillating_ conversations that we always have,” Kylo wasn't even sure where the sarcasm had come from.

“Alright, you want to talk, we can talk,” Hux now sat at the edge of the bed.

“I only wish to sleep.”

“I was ordered back here, by Snoke, or Plageus, whatever you called him. He told me he had a surprise for me,” Hux said. Kylo opened his eyes, listening. “Told me not to be afraid, that he would make me... beautiful. He said not to say anything, just to let you react.”

“I never thought that this face was unattractive-” Kylo admitted, reaching up to lightly touch Hux on his cheek.

“I knew that he'd turned me into the facade of Poe Dameron, the one not even you could resist. The way you looked at him... well, he is extremely handsome...”

“Handsome or not. He is a traitor. Now that I have almost completed my training, when I see him again, I will kill him. And I will not bring him back.”

“You looked at him in a way that you _never_ look at me. The traitor.”

“You see what you want to see,” Kylo said.

Hux was silent, a long time. “Do you wish me to leave?”

“Do whatever you want,” Kylo said, rolling over. He no longer cared to argue.

He felt the sheets lifted back, the warm body behind him.

“Kylo...” Lips against his back, a hand on his hip. Hux's breath became deep and even.

Kylo closed his eyes. Opened them.

Barren desert, all around. A fire before him. He was back in Jakku, again. A figure was walking towards him. He stood up, his heart beating a frenzied tattoo, as he took out his lightsaber and switched it on.

The figure was now close enough for Kylo to recognise him. He switched off the lightsaber, placing it back in it's holster.

“Before I was having this weird dream about Chewbacca and Rey coming back and telling everyone they had developed a new type of dance... and then showing it to us. This is much better, or is it?” Poe now stood directly before him. Kylo's heart now beat faster, but for a different reason.

“Weird, I’d heard a rumour that Rey had scarred your face. But now, I see it, in this dream. It's ok...” He said, quickly. “You're still pretty damned delectable. Well, apart from the whole murdering your father bit. I told General Organa... your mum about us, you know. Possibly the most awkward conversation of my life...”

“This is real? We're sharing the same dream aren't we?” Kylo asked, feeling a little mystified.

“Why did you do it?” Poe asked, expression suddenly darkening.

Kylo instantly knew what he was referring to.

“I had no choice.”

“There is _always_ a choice.”

“I had to kill the one thing that was holding me back, from true greatness. My misplaced feelings for him-”

“You mean _love_... your _love_ for him? How is your life now? How is that _true greatness_ coming along?”

“He made the ultimate sacrifice.”

Poe only stared at him a moment, eyes filled with nothing other than pity. “Dream or not, this is where I say goodbye.”

_Don't leave!_

“I had no choice-”

“No!” Poe turned back around. “You made the choice to ram your lighsaber into your father's chest.”

Kylo felt tears sting his eyes. No, not now. He didn't need this now. Why wasn't he exhilarated about Solo's sacrifice? Why did he feel like his own heart had been impaled?

“I guess it's going to get interesting, won't it? When you confront your mother again, your uncle. Your cousin. Yes, Leia told me. Everything. So, whatever became of the Knights of Ren?”

“I am the only one left. We operated separately from the Order. So many were killed _by_ the Order. Some killed each other, vying for power. A few I had to kill myself, when they threatened to lethally overtake my position. A few more were killed fighting the Resistance.”

Poe laughed. “Guess it truly doesn't pay, to put together a group of murderous Jedi, does it?”

“I then joined the Order out of necessity,” Kylo continued, deliberately ignoring Poe's jibe.

“And that's also why you _fuck_ the general? Out of necessity? Sorry, that was... I don't know why I said that...” Poe sighed, and sat down, in front of the fire. Kylo hesitated, then joined him, sitting opposite.

Poe wore a different outfit, from when he last saw him. He now wore simple brown slacks and a green t-shirt, the simplicity of which seemed to somehow even more emphasise his natural good looks. Somehow, this added to the reality of the dream.

_It doesn't matter what he wears._

“One utterly unrelated question, before we go back to arguing what a crazy, bastard son-of-a-bitch you are, and how I must be even crazier, for being here, in this dream. Who is Polo Hux?”

Of all the questions that he thought Poe would ask him, this was one that he would not have guessed.

_Polo Hux?_

“General Hux's brother. Hux murdered him, as well as his mother and father, for the payout of their life insurance policy. Yes, life insurance is important, if you're working with the First Order,” Kylo said, dryly.

“Well, well, you First Order people certainly like to kill family members, don't you? The stormtrooper that I escaped to Jakku with, do you know if there's a connection with him and Polo Hux?”

Kylo felt an odd jealousy slice through his innards, as though Poe had just picked up his lightsaber and gouged him with it. He told himself that this wasn't fair. Poe was free to be with whoever he chose.

Certainly,though, if Kylo had the choice, he would have picked anyone other than the traitorous FN2187. However, considering, as a member of the Resistance, Poe's days were short, he may as well have fun, where he can.

“How should I know? Why don't you ask your new _boyfriend_ , himself?”

A smile lit up the entire face. “You really think I’m a manslut, don't you? Actually, it's true. But no, Finn isn't my boyfriend.”

Kylo ignored the absurd relief that now flowed through his body.

“I don't think that you're a manslut. Not at all.”

“Why not? I had eager sex with you, didn't I?”

“How does that make you a manslut?”

“Oh come on!” The smile had not left his face. “We had sex right against the torture rack. And I loved every second of it. Damn... but telling Leia...” His blush was almost delightful to see. “She told me that you were such an active boy. Running everywhere-”

_Leia Organa..._

Kylo felt his stomach muscles suddenly viciously twist and turn.

“No-”

“And that she takes some of the blame for what happened to you. Too caught up in her work with the Resistance. Allowing someone like Snoke to come in, brainwash you.”

“Like you said. I made the choice.” His stomach muscles felt as though they were about to rip the organ asunder.

“You're no idiot. Can't you see, even now what he's doing to you? How he's manipulated you? Leia thinks, even now, after everything you've done, that you can be brought back to the light.”

Bile started to rise, up his oesophagus.

“It's too late,” Kylo said, defiantly.

“Ok, let's talk about Hux. Sure, he's a genocidal potential-rapist maniac but at least he seems to take pleasure in what he does! You seem to be constantly angry and miserable!” A new, seemingly horrified expression came over his face. “He's never... forced you, has he?”

“He wouldn't dare try.”

“Well, as long as you at least enjoy having sex with the slimy general- Oh man...” He caught the miffed look on Kylo's face. “Life has to be getting pretty bad if you can't even enjoy sex... which means _my_ life has gotten pretty bad.”

“You have...?”

“I seduced some poor soul to get my mind off _you_ , and this whole messed up situation. Oh it was cringe-worthy.”

Before he even realised what he was doing, Kylo trailed his hand along Poe's jawline. The flesh felt real. Poe leant forward and their lips met, tongues gliding together.

Sweat and jet fuel smell.

Yes, this was definitely Poe.

Kylo moaned, trailing his mouth down his neck, revelling in the feeling of stubble over flesh, as Poe climbed onto his lap, hastily undoing his belt, to get at the flesh, beyond. After a few minutes of sucking, light biting of flesh and taking off of various clothes, licking the flesh as it was revealed, both were now naked, but warmed by the heat of each other's bodies.

“What do you want?” Kylo asked, running his hands up and down Poe's thighs.

“I want you inside me. This is a dream, right? So we should just wish for something to ease the way...” Poe said. He closed his eyes, a moment. “Nope, nothing...Maybe you could use the Force.”

“I don't think that's going to happen,” Kylo couldn't help but smile. It felt odd, on his mouth. Poe suddenly grabbed his face, kissing him with almost ferocious passion, before grabbing Kylo's hand and placing it in his mouth, running his tongue over the soft pads of his fingers and his nails, before withdrawing. Kylo then tenderly used his fingers to open him, steadying his other hand on his hip, as he felt Poe's lips against his neck, Poe's hands wandering all over his body.

Real, he told himself. Feels so real. Poe's smell, his taste, his touch.

“Yes, now, now I’m ready!”

Kylo slowly entered him, watching the gasping mouth, the wide brown eyes. Once fully inside, he stroked the full erection, taking his mouth in a kiss, once more. They started to move, the dance starting.

“Yes, yes, yes...” Poe whispered.

Kylo smoothed his hair back from his face, taking in the masculine beauty. He was still utterly shocked that one of such stunning looks could want _him_ , desire this. Poe's eyes looked directly into his. He caught glimpses of disjointed thoughts.

_So real..._

Kylo started moving a bit faster, Poe moving, in time with him. The pilot gripped his chin.

_Scar...don't care..._

Poe started to move even faster, his powerful thighs thrusting his body up and down. Nothing mattered, in that moment, but the feel of the flesh, the large brown eyes, that looked at him with such lust. He felt himself build to an ultimate culmination and closed his eyes, concentrating on coming down. Not until Poe had-

Poe suddenly cried out and he felt him pulsate around his erection. Kylo allowed himself to go straight to the peak, and over, crying out, himself, as he released deep into his partner. Panting, he looked into the beautiful face. There was a slight smile on the pilot's face, his eyes dreamy. He looked impossibly handsome, in that moment. Kylo caught a snatch of a thought.

_....something so utterly stunning..._

“No, I'm no great beauty, I know...” Kylo said.

“Reading my thoughts again?” Poe smiled. “What is beauty, anyway?”

“You,” Kylo said, simply.

“You know why people like me? I know how to use what I have. Confidence goes a long way.”

“Confidence goes a long way. Particularly, when you look like _that_.”

The corner of Poe's mouth uplifted. He reached forward and ran his hands through Kylo's hair. “I look at you, and I think the man has issues but he is so stunning... sexy...I want you...”

“I want you...” Kylo said, feeling a part of himself break a little. He lay down, on his back. Poe followed, resting his body atop the taller man's, looking down into his face. “I want you.” Kylo repeated.

This time, the lovemaking was slower. Poe took the time in preparing him, in entering him. As with the first time, with Poe taking him, he was amazed at how good it felt, how real, how natural. He ached for the thickness within him, that brushed up against that sweet spot, with every stroke. He found himself mumbling nonsensical words, wrapping his legs and arms around Poe, desperate for his warmth, for all of his flesh against his. Poe's taste, his smell. Jet fuel and sour sweat, now burnt into Kylo's mind. For the second time, as he tumbled over into the height of passion, he held Poe to him, feeling the pilot shudder, and scream his own release. Poe collapsed against him. For a moment, Kylo simply appreciated the warmth of his flesh. Then Poe rose up, looked down at him, smiling. Kylo gave into the urge to smile back.

“You want me?”

A sudden, terrible thought occurred, a notion that froze his heart over.

“This hasn't been some ploy of my mother's, to try and trick me to her side?”

The smile instantly faded. Poe moved off him. “I am no whore. And Leia wouldn't make me act like one!”

“I needed to make sure that this is... genuine...” Kylo said, rising to a sitting position.

A conflict of emotions flicked through the dark eyes. He scuttled forward, once more, sitting, on his knees, before Kylo. For a moment,both simply stared at each other. He caught one of Poe's thoughts.

_What is this, between us?_

“You made your lightsaber yourself, didn't you? It's great. Really well made. I like the design.”

“It's a bit crooked,” Kylo felt somewhat ashamed to admit.

“Must have taken hours.”

“It did.”

“And the whole outfit?” Poe looked down at the discarded clothes, on the ground. “Did you put that creation together, yourself, as well? I'm glad you lost the mask. I know you were going for the whole 'invincible evil behind the mask' thing. But it kind of looked ridiculous, in my opinion.”

_Ridiculous?!_

“Don't give me that look! People have differing opinions. They criticise. You need to get used to it.”

“I made that, myself! It took longer than the lightsaber.”

Poe's smile was infuriating him even more. “Damn, for such a tortured, dark person, you can be kind of adorable, did you know that?”

“How dare you patronise me!”

“I'm not patronising you! I'm being absolutely serious. I'm just imagining you, painstakingly putting together the pieces for your helmet, thinking how awesome it was going to look, when it was finished. How terrifying, for everyone else,” Poe sighed. “With you and Hux... don't you ever... have a laugh together? Just talk about... stuff?”

“We talk...” Kylo realised that he was scowling.

“From the look on your face, it's not exactly constructive conversation. Alright, right now. Tell me something that makes you laugh.”

“Excuse me?”

“When's the last time you laughed?”

“I don't... laugh...”

“Oh come on. _Everybody_ laughs. There must have been a time, with the Knights of Ren. In between slaughters. You guys just sitting around, having a few chuckles-”

“I don't find much to laugh about, nowadays!” Kylo snapped.

“No, I guess not. Hard to laugh, when there's so much death and destruction about.”

“You managed to find humour, in the death and destruction of Jakku. People were dying, on both sides, and you made a quip to me!”

“That was more my defence mechanism coming out. Ok, I'll admit. I was pretty terrified. Sometimes, making a joke is how I deal with fear.”

“I've heard the stories about you. The great, handsome, brave pilot, who whoops and hollers with glee, when he _kills_ people from the Order. Storm-troopers like your friend... Finn, you called him. No, I don't find excitement, or laughter, in the death and destruction of others!”

Poe's face now twisted with anguish. But there was something else, in his face, too. Kylo could see a new knowledge suddenly burning in the dark irises. He caught two words, from a thought of Poe's.

_….the light..._

Poe's expression then changed, became significantly more melancholy.

“Being a pilot is all that I've ever wanted to be. Ever since I learnt about your parents' and uncle's great adventures. When I'm in the cockpit there's such...freedom. I'm _good_ at it. I _enjoy_ being good at it. I just think about the final objective of my mission. Nothing else. If I start to actually think of my enemy as living, breathing beings... No, I can't do it...”

Kylo's mind went to the firing of the weapon. Around the edges of his mind, he had heard the horrified cries, of billions of souls. He had deliberately pushed them aside, blanked his mind, telling himself that it was necessary, to complete their objectives.

Back down on Starkiller Base, he had said nothing, to Hux, had simply walked to his room, knowing that Hux would follow. Once inside, as Kylo disrobed, Hux had started to talk, fast, seemingly jittery with excitement.

“It worked... it was beautiful...” Hux's had then... yes, he had laughed, a loud, almost demented sound. “We did it, Kylo. We did it!”

“Yes, and you must have your reward,” Kylo had said, lying down naked on the bed.

_“You whore! You manslut!” Hux had said, after he had revealed how he truly felt about him, just after Starkiller Base had exploded._

“Right now, you would be on your Resistance Base, perhaps with another in your bed?” Kylo asked, with slight apprehension.

“Actually, no. Since that last disastrous sexual encounter. I decided to go celibate, for a while.”

“Until tonight. Only, this isn't real. This is a dream.”

“It certainly _feels_ very real. What about you. Are you alone, outside of this dream?”

“I was too tired to throw Hux out of my bed.”

''You seem to actively dislike him. And yet, you allow him to be intimate with you.”

“The fool is so easily manipulated.”

“-and a terrible lover, obviously. That last man I was with... lasted less than a minute. And he made these weird kind of pig noises, which put me off.” An odd half-grunt, half cough then came from Poe's mouth. For the first time, that he could remember, Kylo could not help the laughter, that came out of his own mouth. It was short and low, but laughter, never-the-less.

“And when it was over, he told me it was the best sex he'd ever had! The best sex? He didn't even realise that I was getting no pleasure from it whatsoever! I mean what kind of moron is this?”

Kylo took the opportunity, to unleash his frustrations, in regards to Hux.

“Hux seems to be under the absurd impression that I am 'loving' his rather clumsy attentions when, the reality is that I often could not be more bored.”

“Hearing that makes me sad,” Poe said. “Ok, maybe we should have sex again, to remind ourselves what good sex can be like?”

Kylo suddenly found that he was highly amused. He smiled.

“See that, right there,” Poe said, clambering into his lap, once more. “When he smiles...” He laughed.

*

Kylo lay, still panting, on top of Poe, who still had his legs hooked around his neck. Kylo unhooked one foot and kissed it. He felt a hand in his hair.

“Basciallo Desert Leaf...” Poe said, pulling the red item from his dark curls. “Only found on Jakku. I like... botany.”

Kylo grabbed it back off him and put it back in his hair.

“Perhaps it will be the start of a new mask,” he said, dryly.

Poe laughed.

Kylo closed his eyes, leant forward, to kiss him once more.

He opened his eyes. Hux lay snoring in the bed next to him. He took a moment to re-accustom himself to the room, which had changed from black, to dull grey, in the slow rising of the three suns. Absently, he reached up to his hair, feeling a small, rough object in the tangles. He pulled it out, and could only stare, a moment.

He held in his hand a Basciallo Desert Leaf.

Tbc...


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who are reading/reviewing/kudoing :)

Twenty or so minutes earlier, after giving Jess a hug goodbye on the aircraft landing strip, Poe had heard his name being called. He had turned around, to see Miles, standing less than three metres away, in the middle of the tarmac, and staring at him with a rather dopey expression. Right then, Poe decided that drinking alcohol was his absolute priority.

“Hey, Poe I was wondering if you wanted to...” Miles began to walk, rather hurriedly towards him.

Poe then, very hurriedly himself, turned towards Finn, who was standing beside him, still waving off the pilots, who were now climbing into their cockpits.

“I need a drink, right now. I know a really good bar. Let's go.” He then practically ran towards the nearest speeder, a good fifty metres away, leaving behind a momentarily bewildered, stock-still Finn, who then rushed to catch up with him.

The Teh Biphen bar was not a favourite among the pilots, due to it's rather dubious reputation as having aligned with the Empire, many years before, so felt the ultimate choice, for a quiet rendezvous.

They now sat in a booth, around the corner from the main bar, two of only five customers. One, rather frail looking D'Quarian sat on a stool, at the main bar, slowly downing a carafe of a rather potent jambuuk drink. On the other side of the rather squat shack of a building, two others sat in a rather secluded booth, holding hands and staring into each other's eyes.

Across the dirt encrusted table, Finn took a swig of his brown ale and then slammed it onto the countertop. For a moment, the wooden structure wobbled, before righting itself.

“I still say that Phasma is playing us! The fact is that _I_ could have confirmed that there was a secret back janitor's entrance, on the old Starkiller Base! And it's pretty obvious that, once the old one was destroyed, they would simply just start on a new one. I mean they would still have the plans, wouldn't they? Plus they're pretty damned loaded with riches. They can do what the damn please. They could make fifty Starkiller Bases, if they wanted!”

“Mmm...” Poe said, distracted. All morning, preparations had begun, in sending spies to the developing new Starkiller Base Mark 2, based on intelligence from the suddenly compliant Captain Phasma, culminating in the sending off of Poe's fellow pilots.

“I don't trust her, one bit. I think it will be a trap.”

“Maybe she's just sick of being in the cell,” Poe said.

“Do you really believe that? No, there's something else going on here.”

“Mmm...” Poe suddenly remembered a question he had been meaning to ask Finn. “How did you know Polo Hux?”

“Polo Hux?” Finn seemed surprised. “How did you know about him?”

“Phasma mentioned him, when General Organa and I went to see her, that one time.”

“Polo..” Finn took another gulp of his drink. “He was nothing like his brother. In fact, I never saw them even in the same room together. Unlike General Hux, he actually spent time with us stormtroopers. Me and him, we knew each other from a pretty young age, become pretty close friends. Actually, you remind me a little of him. Same wit. Same bravery. He was fifteen, and Hux would have been about twenty five, when he slit his throat, in his sleep.”

Poe looked into Finn's eyes and saw an old anguish in the dark irises.

_Damn, why does life have to cause so much suffering, for every single being, in the galaxy?_

“I'm so sorry, Finn.”

“Yeah, so am I.”

Despite him being on what Poe considered the 'wrong' side, Poe suddenly found that he felt an odd kinship with this Polo, former good friend of Finn.

Poe raised his glass. “To Polo Hux.”

Finn raised his glass and clinked it with Poe's. “To Polo.”

Both drank, then slammed their drinks down on the table.

“Look, Poe, I get it,” Finn sounded oddly serious.

“Get what?”

“I wish I could have gone on the spy mission, as well. But they know our faces now-”

“What are you talking about? I accepted that I couldn't go on the spy mission. For that very reason.”

“Oh... it's just you seem so... Alright, what's wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong!”

Finn gave him a look that told Poe that he was not believing his denial, in the least.

_How to even begin? I've been having these dreams, where I've been having hot sex with the one who's probably going to kill us all._

“I can't tell you. I can barely even believe it myself. It's just so damned crazy!”

“Well, something has clearly got you all worked up! Come on, buddy. Tell old FN2187,” Finn's lips quirked up, into a half smile.

“How many are you? Is there an FN two million and forty four?”

“Probably...”

“Have you ever wondered what your real name is? You could be a Poe too!”

“I like Finn,” Finn said, sounding decisive. “ _You_ gave me that name. I'm not changing it.”

Poe couldn't help but smiled at him, feeling touched.

“It's just... I had a weird dream last night, that's all.”

“Weird dream?”

_He's probably not going to like this._

“I was back on Jakku. Kylo Ren was there. It just... it all felt so real.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing, really... that's the thing. We just talked...”

“About? Look, I'm trying to establish whether this is just some random misfiring of your brain, or whether it's some sort of Force thing... which I have no idea about, by the way. I have no idea how any of it works.”

“No, I'm not Force sensitive,” Poe smiled. “I asked him why he killed Han Solo. He said he didn't have a choice. He had to purge himself of his feelings for his father, his love for his father.”

“Sounds like maybe you're just trying to justify, in your own mind, what occurred between you two.”

“I guess... it just... it was so real...He had this scar, across his cheek...I could touch him. He felt... it felt like real flesh.”

“Oh man...” Finn suddenly rolled his eyes. “It wasn't one of those sex dreams was it?”

Poe inwardly cringed, then laughed. “Well, maybe we might have...”

“You have a problem. You really have a problem,” Finn said, smiling. “Did he tell you where he was? Any useful information about the First Order?”

“He told me about the Knights of Ren. And that he made that lightsaber of his, as well as his mask.”

“Maybe next time, in between bouts of sex, try and get some useful information!”

“I think... he can be turned...”

“Oh no, not this again...”

“The General... Leia doesn't want to lose her son, as well as Han. Nor do I.”

“Look, I don't think it was anything more, than the crazy workings of your brain. Nothing spooky or magical. Just that.”

Poe felt an odd, crushing disappointment hit.

“Yes, I suppose you're right.”

*

That night, Poe found himself back on Jakku.

_Not again..._

He sincerely wished that his mind would stop messing him around, in such a way. Clearly, it was trying to work through some issues. He simply wished it could sort through them in a way that didn't feel as though he would go crazy in the process.

The usual small fire burned, a few metres ahead. Poe moved forward, and sat down before it, waiting. Kylo would surely appear, at any moment-

Another man, in his mid-sixties appeared, walking down the vast sand dune, before him. He wore a set of brown Jedi robes. As he approached, Poe stood up.

“Hello... I'm...”

“I know who you are...” The man, now standing directly before him, smiled. “My name is Anakin.”

“Anakin? Skywalker? You're... you're Kylo's grandfather!” Poe suddenly realised, in his shock, that he'd just said a rather redundant statement. Who else would this man be?

“I established this dream-world, for you and Ben Solo. Brought you two into it. It feels real, because it is. Understand?”

“But... why?”

_Yes, firing on all cylinders tonight, Poe!_

In the sudden despondent expression on Anakin's face, all of the skin suddenly sagged, aging him by many years.

“Kylo is too brainwashed by Plageus.”

“Plageus?”

“Snoke is really Darth Plageus.”

“Plageus? The Sith Lord who can  supposedly  control death? Even bring someone back from it? No, he's a myth! A... a fable.”

“He's very real, I assure you. And he has taught Kylo how to be the master of life and death. But, it is a terrible power, a power that will drive one mad, eventually, destroy one's soul, until one is simply a husk of who one was. “

“I... I can't believe that...”

_You're talking to the long dead grandfather of your First Order Dark Jedi lover, and you can't believe in Darth Plageus? Maybe you're the one who’s being driven mad. Did you ever consider that, ol' Poe, my boy?_

“Kylo believes that it was to my disadvantage, when I finally saw the light, at the very end of my life. He believes that he is truly communicating with me. But it is in Kylo's anger, pain and fear, all aspects of the Dark side of the Force, that I can't get through to him. I do believe that there is still light within him, even now. Even despite what he has done.”

“I know it,” Poe said.

“But I fear that my grandson will only discover it, at the very end of his life, like I did. No, I can't get through to him. But maybe you can.”

“Tell me what to do.” Poe said, straightening his spine.

“He feels... confused, torn by his love for his mother. Before Han Solo died, he touched Ben's face, still showing that he loved his son, despite what he had done. He will not admit it, but he is also torn, by that fact. And, of course, he feels confused by his feelings for you. I do believe that Plageus is mistaken, in him. Deeply mistaken.”

With that, Anakin suddenly disappeared. It wasn't a slow fade away. He was with Poe one second, then was not there, the next, leaving an empty landscape.

Another, all too familiar figure started coming towards them, over the same sand dune that Anakin had walked down. As he came up to Poe, Kylo said nothing, did not even acknowledge him.

As Kylo sat by the fire, Poe stood, feeling a little awkward, trying to decide what to do. Take Finn’s advice and try and weasel information about the First Order from him? Or take Anakin's advice... which was what? Exactly?

_The stuff about Plageus was interesting... don't know if I believe it though. The rest... well it's pretty much what I already know. Would have been good to have some specific advice, like how to specifically turn Kylo Ren back to the light._

Meeting Anakin, as incredible as it was, revealed to Poe what he had always suspected about Force-spirits. Interesting to meet, but ultimately useless.

He did say that he'd brought this dream-scape together, Poe reminded himself, as he sat down, opposite Kylo.

From the purse-lipped expression on the dark-haired man's face, he appeared rather distraught...Although Poe was starting to realise that this was a normal look, for him. Finally, Kylo looked up and opened a gloved hand, to reveal a bright red leaf.

“I woke up, this morning, with this in my hand. I held in in my hand, before bed. Now it's _here_. What does this mean?”

“I don't know.” He considered telling Kylo about Anakin, but then decided against it.

“Why am I here?”

Poe's mind went, as always, to Leia. To try and ween information about the First Order, or to try the futile push, towards the light? To see Kylo as Leia's enemy, or Ben as Leia's son?

He recalled what Anakin had said, about Han Solo still showing his love for his son, even as he died. Surely, that would utterly destroy a person inside, had they any light left to them, whatsoever.

“So, how was your day?” Poe asked. “Learn a few more Dark Jedi tricks?”

_He could force my mind, in regards to the Resistance. If he wanted, he could retain every single piece of information about them. And yet he hasn't. Why?_

“I already know about the pilots that are being sent to spy on the new Starkiller Base. I have... other priorities now, than your piddling Resistance. I have such powers now, that you couldn't even comprehend. If I wished, with my mere will, even in this dream-scape, I could end your life. That is just the _beginning_ of my powers.”

Poe felt that he could be mistaken, but he had the odd impression that, rather than an attempt to produce fear, Kylo was, in fact, attempting to impress him.

“Yawn. Who cares? You know what's interesting? You talk about your new, amazing powers. And yet you came here, looking as though Snoke just ate the last slice of your birthday cake. If I had awesome new powers, I would be feeling pretty damned great about it! So, what's the plan? Kill Rey, kill Luke, oh and kill Leia? Those are a lot of people to get through.”

“How's FN2187?” Kylo said, clearly wanting to change the topic of conversation.

“Finn? Oh, he's fine. He's on your list to kill as well, isn't he? Am I?”

“If it has to come to it, then yes.”

“Maybe I’ll kill you.”

“Maybe you'll try. I'm sure you'll be whooping and hollering, the entire time,” Kylo's expression remained blank, but Poe sensed this was a subtle joke, of his.

Playing along, Poe smiled. “Woo hoo! I just bagged me Kylo Ren!”

“Like I said, you will try.”

“And people call _me_ cocky. So, should we have sex?”

“The last of the true romantics. Years from now, worlds of beings will worship the poetry of Poe Dameron who, upon meeting his enemy in a dream-scape, spoke the most eloquent, beautifully worded of phrases; 'So, should we have sex?'”

Poe found himself laughing more in shock than true humour, at the caustic wit. He found it incredible to see the angsty-filled Dark apprentice, Kylo Ren displaying such humour. Poe was certain that the path to being a Dark Jedi, would involve eschewing all tethers to one's humanity.

_….surely, including humour...._

“You find me humorous?” Kylo said.

“You find me poetic? Ok, 'oh my dark haired beauty, with hair as dark as an olgar bush on the very fertile forests of Endor, with eyes, the colour of... branches, from the very fertile forests of Endor-”

“It's a mark of your _own_ dark-haired beauty, that, despite... whatever _that_ was... I am still desperate to have you...”

Poe's laughter came from true humour, this time. For a moment, as he tapered off, both looked at each other, Kylo's lips upturned, in a smile. Poe felt an intense emotion power through his body, at the sight.

_What is that? Actually, why do I care?_

“So you do...” Poe started crawling towards him. “... admit that you...” He started to grope Kylo, feeling his growing erection through the cloth of his self-made uniform. “...want sex then.”

As Poe's hand worked faster, Kylo's breath then started to become heavier. Poe swiftly rearranged the folds of layers, then lowered his head to the erection, wrapping his lips around the sturdy flesh. He was good at this, he knew. It was a pleasure, to hear Kylo's moans of desire.

_That's it... that's it..._

He forced his head down even lower, deliberately relaxing his gag reflex, to allow the erection deeper, into his throat. Kylo let out a strangled cry, hands suddenly clenching in Poe's hair. Poe worked faster, feeling the erection slide in and out of his throat. Kylo's moans became straight cries of passion.

“Wait, wait I'm about to...” He tried to pull out. Poe simply grabbed his hips, and pulled him forward, once more, feeling the thick organ in his mouth spasm, as Kylo threw his head back and cried out, into the desert night. As the release hit his throat, Poe swallowed it down. He had never been the type to mind the taste. He then pulled his head up, smirking. The still shaking, flushed Kylo was looking down at him, as though he was a literal sex god... which, of course, in Poe's own mind, he was.

“What do you want to do?” Kylo said, as Poe then sat up, running a hand down his sweaty face. “How do you want me?”

“So, you enjoyed that?” Poe smirked.

Kylo suddenly swiftly moved away, to lie, face down, on the desert floor, pulling his trousers down and his cloak up, revealing his pert ass. Rather than feeling titillated by the sight, Poe felt his stomach clench, mild disgust rising in his body, at the clear submission.

“Have me,” Kylo said.

Poe could feel his own erection, bobbing between his legs. A part of him, that operated below the shoulder level wanted to just do it, to just take him, hard, right there on the ground. The larger part, couldn't simply have sex with someone, while they lay, face down, even if they were allowing it.

_Damn, is this what happens, when he's with Hux?_

Poe came over and kissed his buttock, then gently rolled him over. Kylo looked up to him, expectantly. He bent down and took his mouth in a passionate kiss, which Kylo eagerly responded to. Poe then broke off, to kiss his neck, running his hands over his body. He felt Kylo reach into his pants, jerking at his erection.

“You can have me...” Kylo said, sounding a little bewildered.

_Hux, you're a bastard._

Poe responded by grabbing his upper body cloth and yanking it up, so that it folded up around his chest, before crushing their bodies together, rubbing his erection against the bare flesh of Kylo's stomach. Kylo placed his arm around Poe's shoulders, pulling him closer to him, as he reached for his lips, once more. Poe snaked his tongue again into the eager mouth, feeling Kylo's hands grope at his hip, his chest, Kylo's fingers twirl around his nipples.

“Yes, yes...” Poe moaned, as he was overcome, shooting his release onto the pale flesh of Kylo's stomach.

Still panting, he looked down at the conflicted face beneath him.

“You didn't want me.” A vulnerability showed in the dark irises.

“Huh? I just...” Poe admitted to being utterly baffled.

“You refused to take me.”

“Not like that. Not with you just... submitting. To be honest, that kind of creeped me out.”

_I know that Finn has his issues with Hux, but if we do see him again, he'll have to stand in line..._

“It really excites me when you're just as into it as I am,” Poe leant forward, saying the words with his lips a hair-width from Kylo's cheekbone.

“I very much like seeing you... excited...” Kylo admitted.

Poe pulled back.

“I guess it's hard to find partners, when you're doing the whole apprentice to the Darkside thing. Still, I can see how it can be confusing for you. You've gone from Hux, whose clearly pretty bad, to me. And I’m an excellent lover, if I say so myself.”

“Your total humility is utterly breathtaking.”

_There it is, again. Sarcasm._

“You think I'm gorgeous, admit it,” Poe smiled.

“I never implied otherwise.”

Poe crawled into his lap.

“You will have to wake soon. Your spies are coming back. Their spy mission was successful,” Kylo said, gently brushing a loose curl from Poe's forehead.

“It's a trap, isn't it? Phasma has betrayed us.”

“The Phasma I know, will always be loyal to the First Order.”

Poe felt his heart sink. So Finn was right.

“I know that you will be one of the Resistance pilots, that will lead the attack. I will also come to the base, tomorrow. My master has foreseen that destinies will be entwined, in more than one way.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your Resistance will fail. And all remaining Jedis killed.”

“Sith Lords have known to be wrong. The Emperor from the Empire, for one.”

Kylo actively flinched.

“When you are captured again-”

“I'm not going to be captured.”

“I am considering whether to kill you now, to spare you.”

“Spare me? Ok, say what you're saying is true and I do get captured. What's the worse that can happen? I've already been tortured, mind raped.”

Turmoil raged in the dark irises.

“Spare you from the despoilment that Hux intends for you.”

Poe felt as though a bucket of icy cold water had been poured over himself.“Nice boyfriend you have there. If that happens, then I still want to survive. I will get through it, as hideous a thought as it is.”

“I am good at hiding my emotions and thoughts. Even so, my master senses my... vulnerability, when it comes to you. But I will not let Hux hurt you. I would rather have you die, than have him disgrace you, in such a way.”

“Snoke... he would let it happen, wouldn't he? Sick bastard. He'd let Hux rape me.” A new thought came to him. “To punish you.”

“I will not let that happen.”

“If you try and stop it, then I could see that bastard Snoke killing you, just for going against him. Look don't potentially die, for my sake. If Hux... then I’ll just have to deal, won't I? Although he'll probably not let me live anyway, after that.”

Kylo's eyes suddenly become overly bright. “You would let that happen to you, to allow me to live? Why?”

“Because of Leia,” Poe decided to tell the truth. “Because I could never forgive myself if she knew that I allowed her son to be murdered, even if I was raped, as a consequence.”

Kylo turned away, tears now falling down his cheeks. He turned back and ran a soft hand down Poe's face.

“I am strong now. I could be even stronger than my Master. I will not allow Hux to harm you. You will be safe. I guarantee it.”

“Be careful, yourself,” Poe said. “When I said I didn't want you to die, for my sake, the reason why wasn't entirely because of Leia.”

“This thing between us, I feel it too. It's real,” Kylo said. “I'm sorry that I.... forced your mind, for the map.”

“You had to. Don't forget, you are on the side of the First Order,” Poe smiled.

“I did enjoy the glimpses of your childhood. There was one image, of you, as a boy, on a beach, holding a shell to your ear. Yes, I liked that one.”

“Show me one of yours,” Poe said.

Kylo smiled and stared into Poe's eyes.

_A young boy, perhaps three years old, sitting in the middle of an overgrown garden, staring, and pointing, at a bright orange rock, on the ground. As he raises his finger, the rock starts likewise rise, up into the air._

Fascinated, Poe clamped down, onto the image.

_A man's voice sounds._

_“What have you got there, Ben?”_

“No!” Kylo went to pull away, but Poe clamped down onto the image, hungrily needing more. If this were reality, surely Kylo was powerful enough to push him out of his head. But here, in the dream-scape, Poe seemed to have equal power.

_The man comes into the scene, kneeling down by the boy, a wookie standing beside him._

_“Well, well, aren't you clever-”_

“No!” Kylo tumbled backwards, to the ground, panting, forcefully pushing Poe from his mind.

For a moment, he stared up at Poe, dark eyes stricken with absolute terror.

“It's ok... It's alright...” Poe said. “I know he loved you, right till the end. Even after you stabbed him, he still loved you.”

“No!” Kylo unleashed his lightsaber, bring it up, high, over his own head. Poe fell backwards, hands raised in a feeble gesture of self-protection. Was it possible to die, in this dream landscape?

Rather than strike him, however, Kylo started slashing at the ground, the lighsaber sparking against the little rocks, littered amongst the sand. Poe stood up, backing away. Finally, his energy spent, Kylo dropped down to his knees, the lightsaber tumbling to the ground in front of him.

“Leave me,” Kylo said.

“Ah where am I meant to go?” Poe came down to kneel before him. He could see that Kylo was trembling.

“It's ok...” He reached up and placed a hand in Kylo's hair. “it's ok...” Kylo looked into his face, still panting, still stricken. “Everything will be alright, Ben.”

Kylo suddenly pushed him back, lifting his lighsaber once more. Intertwined now, with the fear on his face, Poe saw true fury. There was no doubt, in his mind now, that Kylo was going to use the lightsaber on him, cut him down with it.

“No, don't-” he began, attempting to scuttle back-

*

He opened his eyes, suddenly finding himself back in his own bed. For a few minutes, he simply sat, re-accustoming himself to his darkened room. He felt a mind reaching for him, delving into his own, a mere whisper of a thought occurring, so light that he almost didn't catch it.

_It is best, for both of us, if we forget our intimacy._

Poe decided, then and there, that he certainly _wasn't_ going to forget the intimacy.

Instead, he jumped out of bed, hastily changing out of the green shirt and slacks he used as nightclothes, and into his more fitting Resistance daywear uniform.

Leia was, as usual, in the middle of the main bridge, standing over the main console. Poe had long before given up on the idea of her actually getting any sleep. Ignoring the hails from his fellow Resistance fighters, he came right up to her, interrupting her in the middle of a speech, to Ackbar.

“General Organa,” he saluted. “We need to urgently talk.”

Ackbar spun around to stare at him, making clear his irritation at being so rudely interrupted. Leia, on the other hand, simply nodded.

“Alright.”

“In private.”

A short walk later, and they were in the same room, in which he had spoken to her, a few days before. This time, however, he did not sit down. He simply closed the door behind them, then turned to face her.

“Captain Phasma can't be trusted,” Poe said. “It's a trap. Both Kylo Ren and Snoke know about our spies.”

“I know.”

Poe felt as though he had been forced to eject from his craft, at high speed, and was suddenly plummeting towards the ground.

“Oh... you do?” He said, feebly.

“I sense that Phasma is only telling us enough truth to bait the trap, as it were. This is why I'll be instituting _two_ plans. One, will be to launch an air offensive, based on what the spies come back with, which will undoubtedly be the trap. But we will also launch another, secret ground attack, flying low and depositing a small group of us, to infiltrate from there.”

Poe felt his stomach clench. The pilots in the air offensive would be in great danger. Although many were wiling to give their lives for the Resistance, he still felt the stab of deliberately placing people in harm’s way.

“I volunteer to lead the air attack.”

“No,” Leia said. “I need our best pilot, to fly under their radar, and deposit us, on the land. Your friend, Finn can also help us there, based on his interior knowledge.”

Poe frowned, closed his eyes, indecisive how to continue, mind whirling with scattered thoughts.

“You've seen him again, haven't you? You've seen my Ben?”

“I saw Anakin.”

For a moment, her face collapsed, into an expression of such longing and anguish, that Poe felt his heart clench in sorrow, for her.

_Of course, her father, who she never knew. Turned to the Darkside before she was even born._

“In a dream. He told me that he'd created the dream-scape, to bring me and...Ben together. He said Ben feels torn... over what he did to his father, over his feelings for you..” ... _and me._

“He can't get to him, can he? He's too far gone into the Darkside.” Leia finished. “But you, you saw Ben, didn't you?”

“He told me that Snoke prophesied that they would both kill all of the remaining Jedi.”

“Prophecies can be wrong.”

Poe felt his lip twist up into a smile that held no humour. “That's exactly what I told Kylo. He knew that I would lead the attack, that all of our destinies would intertwine. He said we would fail.”

“We will not fail,” Leia said, decisively. “The Emperor was wrong about Anakin. Just as Snoke will be wrong about Ben.”

Poe considered telling her about Snoke's supposed true identity.

_No, that's not true. It..it just can't be..._

“My son... Ben he..” a sudden realisation suddenly overcame her face. “He is more than confused about you...he wishes to protect you, from a great harm...”

Poe felt a subtle probing of his brain. He doubted that Leia was even aware that she was doing it.

“He seems convinced that I will be captured.... by General Hux.”

“He's the one who, the last time you were captured, threatened...”

Poe nodded. “If it means the Resistance wins and Kylo is redeemed, then I will endure any degradation that slime seems fit to put me through.”

“No, I couldn't allow that to happen,” Leia said.

Poe appreciated the sentiment. However, it simply wasn't logical to their cause.

“This is worth more than me,” Poe said.

“Not to me,” Leia said. “This Hux... he will pay for the harm that he does to you, that he has done to my Ben. Snoke triply so.”

Poe saw the fire in her eyes and believed her.

*

“Alright, so everyone understands the real plan?” Ackbar asked the collection of Resistance members, gathered around the centre console.

A few people cheered, Finn among them. Poe would have been one of the first, to be elated, at the new plans, to destroy Starkiller Base Mark 2, particularly as the pilots had come back, safe ( _yes, a little too safe... it was a little too easy for them to break into the second Starkiller base, this time_ ) with a raft of information.

However, Poe's mind kept coming back to Kylo's warning, that they would all be killed. He looked around at all of the smiling faces, ready for more battle, and felt only hardened himself, resigned. Poe had always assumed that he would die gloriously, in battle. Now, it seemed, he was destined for despoilment, followed by a merciful death.

“Alright, now we'll bring Phasma in, and tell her the _other_ plan.”

A bunch of people, including Finn beside him, laughed. Poe caught Leia's eyes. Her mouth was a tight line.

“Go take Phasma out of her prison,” Ackbar ordered two guards, standing by the door. As they left the room, Leia stepped forward, now standing beside Ackbar.

“Tell the guards to come back. Forget about Phasma, for now. Luke and Rey. They are returning.”

Poe heard the excited whispers and claps, felt Finn’s clap on his back. His stomach coiled tight, as though being twisted around a small skewer.

His mind went back to Kylo Ren's words.

_“Your Resistance will fail. And all remaining Jedis killed.”_

“She's back!” Finn said, excitement clear in his voice. “And I'll get to meet Luke Skywalker. Oh this is the best day of my life!”

_...all the remaining Jedis..._

Poe caught Leia's eye, and saw, from her face, that he wasn't the only one who was overjoyed, at the prospect of Luke and Rey returning.

Tbc...


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again thank you to all who are reading/reviewing/kudoing.
> 
> Warning in this chapter for Kylo/Hux consensual, slightly nasty, roughsex (my boy Kylo has issues), as well as the spoken mention of potential future noncon. Oh and there's also the murder of a child.
> 
> Kylo's pov with the usual smut, angst and fluff. Enjoy!

Kylo rolled over on the rickety bed and opened his eyes, focusing on the dusty floor. The red Basciallo leaf was still in the same position, in which he had placed it, the night before. This component of a native Jakku tree, that he had somehow pulled out of the dream, lay less than half a metre from his eyesight. Was it possible, that he had somehow picked up the leaf, while actually on Jakkku, and was only discovering it now? Theoretically, it could have easily caught on his cloak, maybe then deposited onto his aircraft, only to be transferred back onto his clothing later. Yes, he told himself. This made more sense than him pulling the leaf out of a dream.

If his mind wished to sieve his emotions, by providing such corporeality for him, involving an encounter with such a man as Poe Dameron, then who was he to question it?

The taste of the pilot's flesh, the soft, springy hair, the roughness of his stubble, was all burnt into Kylo's mind. Poe had sat so close that he could practically count every one of his luxurious black eyelashes. He fondly recalled his enticing smell; jet fuel and sour sweat.

However, Kylo realised that Poe's beauty went deeper than his clear good looks; indeed, his ready wit and surprising honesty supplemented the strong jaw and wide eyes characteristic of true handsomeness. No one else would dare say to him the truth with the freedom that Poe did, other than Hux or Snoke. Only, whereas Hux weaved honesty like a sword, to cut, Poe weaved it like a balm, to sooth. Even the dig about his helmet, Kylo felt was not truly meant, but rather was a mere tease, in keeping with Poe's flirty nature.

In the dream, Poe had been surprisingly open, had seemed genuinely interested in him, in the being that was Kylo ( _Ben_ ) Ren ( _Skywalker..._ ), beyond his body as with Hux, or his powers, as with Plageus.

No, it wasn't real. Couldn't be real. He couldn't have shared a dream with Poe Dameron, who had treated him with more respect than the man he gave his body to, every night.

_The dream was merely a fantasy..._

He rolled over, to see Hux, already dressed, standing by the bed and looking down at him, with his usual strict expression.

“You must dress. Snoke wishes to see you.”

Kylo nodded, and drew the covers back, mindful of Hux's concupiscent eyes on him.

_Poe looked at your naked body with that look in his eyes also._

“Here,” Hux handed him his clothes.

“I must return to base, today,” Hux said, as Kylo started to redress. “The Resistance will, no doubt, be making plans. Including your pilot slut.”

Kylo continued to ignore him. Hux fell silent, watching him now place his belt around his waist. ( _“And the whole outfit?” Poe had said, in the dream. “Did you put that creation together, yourself, as well?”)_

Kylo had laced up his left boot and was lacing up his right, when Hux knelt down, facing him.

“Kylo...”

Kylo finished lacing the boot and looked into Hux's eyes. The other man reached up, stroking his cheek, along the scar. Kylo recalled the lightness of Poe's touch, the night before, the mesmerising face, panting, post-coital.

As Hux leant forward, Kylo opened his mouth, allowing the tongue entrance. This obsession with Poe was utterly inane. He gripped the back of Hux's head, feeling the short hair strands, duelling his own tongue with Hux's. The general moaned, reaching around to cup the back of Kylo's neck. Yes, he told himself. That was all it was. Poe was, indeed, a very good lover. Nothing more.

Hux pulled back, panting.

“I want you,” Kylo said.

“You had to say that now, didn't you?”

Kylo reached forward, gripping his erection, through his trousers. “It seems you have a problem. Come, now, weren't we meant to see Plageus?”

He stood up, then hurried out of the room, before Hux could reply, a small part of himself enjoying taunting the man, in such a way. Walking down the dilapidated stone hallway, to the main temple room, he heard the distinct sounds of someone sobbing. Curious, he moved faster. Footsteps sounded behind him, the distinct clicking of Hux's dress shoes.

Kylo stepped into the main temple room, for a moment simply standing, just inside the entrance, taking in the sight before him.

Plageus stood behind the altar, to the back. Floating a good one metre in the air, above the stone dais, spinning around in circles, was a child of about three years of age; a blond boy, whose tormented cries echoed off all of the rough hewn walls.

“Ah, Kylo, Hux. Come in,” Plageus said. Kylo moved further in, past the crumbled pews, unable to draw his eyes from the spinning toddler. The click click of Hux's shoes, signalled him following behind.

Plageus waited until Kylo and Hux stood right before the altar, before talking.

“Let me tell you a story. Kylo, your grandfather, the great Darth Vader, upon turning to the Darkside, killed all of the remaining Jedi. Or so he thought. Unfortunately, even greatness can be fooled by thieves and liars. In Coruscant, before she died, one of the Jedis managed to hide her baby girl, to secrete her away, on the back of a dewback, to a craft, then to Kashyyyk. There, for many years, the  child lived, unaware of her Jedi roots, long enough, to have a son, of her own. Of course, Anakin remained unaware of her, or the son. But I, who have omnipotence greater than even Darth Vader, knew of this lost Jedi. Just recently, I managed to track the mother and son down. The mother, I struck down. The son, I saved for you.”

_Another Jedi..._

Kylo buried the emotions swirling in his body, at the sight, deep down, inside himself. Plageus had been successful, indeed, in teaching him how to place a barrier around himself, to prevent even the great Sith himself, from sensing his true conflict.

He stepped further forward, so that he was now standing right in front of the boy. Plageus stopped the spinning and hoisted the boy up, so that he was now upright, facing Kylo. The boy's face was blotted with tears and snot, his breath coming out in hiccups.

“In bringing life, one must always then take it. The more powerful, the better. There must always be balance, Kylo. Life and death must be intertwined. There must be no more Jedi. This should be easy for you.”

Kylo withdrew his lightsaber, a titanium wall now surrounding his emotions, and thoughts. He could feel Plageus attempting to burrow through, but he easily rebounded the attempts back to him. Deep inside, behind the wall, he thought of the death of Han, his father's hand on his face, the love that poured out of his eyes, even then, even despite his fate, at Kylo's own hands. He thought of Leia, of Chewbacca, who would often allow the child Kylo to jump onto his furry back. He saw Poe's contented smirk, post intimacy.

No, he was meant to be strong, not weak. Darth Vader wasn't weak. Darth Vader would not allow such silly reminiscences to delude himself of his true nature.

Kylo lifted his lightsaber and brought it down. The child screamed, then was silenced.

“Good, good,” Plageus said. “Very good.” He lifted his hand and the child's body flew across the room, out of sight.

Hux stepped further forward, looking at Kylo with cold interest. Kylo studiously kept his face blank.

“And so it begins,” Snoke said. “Phasma, captured by the Resistance, has ingratiated herself, told them about the new Starkiller Base. Spies are being sent right now, based on her words, to its location. Tomorrow, they will send their best fleet, to attempt to disable it. They will, of course, be all killed. You will also come tomorrow, back to the base, Kylo. I see destinies entwining. The pilot, who will lead the attack. He will be captured. The ex-stormtrooper. All of the remaining Jedi. Including your mother.”

But now, the wall surrounding his emotions and thoughts was made of phrik, the strongest known substance in the universe.

“She means even less to me than Han Solo did.”

“This will be the greatest test, of your new-found abilities. However, it will please you to know that I have foreseen the outcome. The Resistance will fail. And all the remaining Jedis killed.”

“Good!” Hux spoke. “Finally, we will be rid of that scum!”

Plageus ignored him, staring into Kylo's eyes.

“By your grace, we will be successful,” Kylo said.

“Go now, prepare,” Plageus said, appearing satisfied. “I will allow you the rest of the day to rest. Tomorrow will prove to be a... busy day... Hux, you are needed back on the base, to make final preparations.”

“Yes, your grandness.”

“However, there is no need to leave right away. I feel that you and Kylo have a lot to talk about,” Plageus' wrinkled face lifted up into a smirk.

Kylo turned and swiftly moved down the hall, back to the bedroom. So, it came down to this. The end battle. Plageus was, indeed, righteous, wise and strong. They would be successful. He would show honour to his idol.

_I will make you proud, grandfather._

Sitting down, on the edge of the bed, he reached down, picking up the red leaf, from the floor.

Hux came into the room, closing the door, looking flushed, his pale eyes bright with excitement.

“What fools the Resistance are! Placing their trust in Phasma!” Hux laughed.

Kylo placed the red leaf back down on the ground. His mind went back to the death of the child, the high pitched scream, as he brought the lightsaber down.

The ultimate sacrifice, for the ultimate betterment of the universe.

Hux sat beside him and gripped his jaw, turning his face, to bring their lips together, moaning into his mouth, as he slid his tongue inside.

“So...” Hux said, pulling out to kiss along his jaw, as he started tugging at his clothes. “Before, you were saying that you wanted me?”

Kylo moved back, to break contact, looking at him. What did Hux want, really? What was his play? Surely, he was manipulating Kylo, as Kylo was manipulating him?

Wordlessly, Kylo moved to lie facedown on the bed, arranging his clothes, to reveal just the amount of flesh, for Hux to take him. He turned his head to the side, looking down at the red leaf, on the ground. Rustling sounded, as Hux undressed, followed by the weight of his head, on his back, the soft touch of hands stroking the flesh of his buttocks, followed by fingers moving inside his puckered entrance.

“Tell me,” Hux said, his fingers reaching further inside Kylo.

“I want this,” Kylo said. Despite the frustration of never quite feeling the true gratification that he so desired, while with Hux, despite the knowledge now of what excitement he could achieve, he needed this.

Hux's fingers now moved slowly in and out of him, occasionally brushing against his prostate, causing a thrill of pleasure to rush through his body. He told himself that it was to keep Hux in line, to manipulate him to his cause. However, the larger part of himself was aware that there was more to it.

Hux withdrew his fingers and replaced them with his thicker erection. Kylo closed his eyes, focusing through the discomfort.

“It's ok... it's ok...” Hux said, stroking his hair and simply resting on him, unmoving, clearly waiting for Kylo to become accustomed to the thickness inside of himself.

'I need this,” Kylo whispered. There was no Han Solo in the room with them, no wookie who would lift the giggling child Kylo up, no sobbing Rey, on Jakku ... such a small child...

No adult Rey standing over him, eyes blazing, his grandfather's lightsaber in hand.

“Go... go...” Kylo said.

Hux started moving, thrusting, moaning, his hands gripping Kylo's hip possessively.

In the simple act, there was no battle, there was simply him submitting and Hux taking. The joining of their bodies, no matter how wearisome at times, was a salve, a much needed stitch, for the tearing of his soul.

Kylo was with the First Order now. He was strong, powerful. If he wished, he could tear apart Hux's mind, blow it to the far reaches of the universe, leaving the man a catatonic husk.

But... what then?

“I need this,” he whispered.

“I know you do,” Hux whispered, kissing his ear.

His mind went to Plageus' prediction.

The girl, Rey. Luke. All of the remaining Jedi would be killed.

_Leia._

“Faster...” Kylo urged. Hux did as he bid, thrusting harder. It felt rougher now, more uncomfortable. Yes, yes this was what he needed. “Faster...”

_Plageus is wise and strong. He is a great master._

“Oh oh! Oh yes!” Hux was screaming, gripping Kylo's hip so tight, now, that his fingernails dug painfully into his flesh.

_Plageus has made me into a great Dark force. With his guidance, I will be beyond powerful._

“Harder!” Kylo ordered.

Hux moved even faster. It was hurting now and Kylo welcomed it, welcomed the burning pain, a balm to his fractured mind.

The bed was thumping up and down, from Hux's efforts, the loose floorboards creaking. The leaf skittled forward, a little, on the ground.

Why did Plageus specifically refer to Poe Dameron being captured? In his mind, he saw Poe's face, lips curved up in a smile of impish glee.

“Harder...” Kylo ordered again.

“Oooh ooh yes!” As Hux screamed out his climax, releasing deep inside his lover, Kylo's eyes found the leaf on the ground, once more.

“That was... that was... incredible.” Hux roughly pulled out and rolled Kylo over. He could still feel the throb, from where he was taken. Kylo paid no mind. He could handle pain far greater than the pittance that Hux had just given him.

“By Snoke's grace, by tomorrow night, all of the Jedi and Resistance will finally be gone!” He reached down, cupping Kylo's jaw. “We will be free of their tyranny, to build a better society.”

“You do not need to give me a speech! I'm on your side, remember?”

“With you by my side, we will be in utopia. Kylo, you must know that I...”

_… say it...._

“Say what?” Kylo said, picking up on his thought.

A barrage of emotions crossed the usually stoic face.

“I'm in love with you.”

The words hung static in the air, between them. Kylo didn't know how to respond. Although he suspected this, he had never thought that Hux would simply just come out and say it, so openly.

Hux's face paled, his lips shaking. He let go of Kylo's chin.

The silence between them grew longer, more uncomfortable.

“The pilot...” Hux whispered, his voice shaking.

“Don't be ridiculous!” Kylo scoffed.

“He has _stolen_ you from me!”

“You are presuming that there was something to steal, to begin with.”

“No, we are perfect for each other. You know this! We _belong_ together.”

“In what way?” Kylo asked. “Do not confuse our... reliability on each other, with anything more.”

“No! You feel it too, I know it! You're in denial!” Hux said, reaching forward to grasp his face, in his hands. “You have feelings for me too, admit it.”

Kylo looked into the pale eyes and could only feel pity.

“I need what you have to give. But don't expect me to feel love for you. You know that is the real truth.”

Hux pulled away, flinching, as though Kylo had veritably slapped him.

“It is the pilot! That slut!”

“No, Hux, you're not-”

“I will _destroy_ him for taking you from him! When he is captured, I will violently take him, until he is screaming at me to kill him, until he is a husk of the man he was. That is my punishment to you, Kylo!”

Kylo could only stare at him, utterly shocked, at the madman now screaming before him, his customary combed back hair hanging in clumps over his reddened face.

“This has nothing to do with Poe Dameron-”

“Stop lying to me!”

Kylo now grabbed his trembling shoulders.

“I'm not lying. The pilot could not steal, what wasn't there, to begin with.” He leant forward, kissing Hux on his oddly now cold lips. “This little upset doesn't matter. I will still give myself to you.”

“But not fully, never fully.”

“I give you enough, don't I? You enjoy yourself. That should be enough.”

Though Hux's face held its usual stoic composure, twin tears ran down his cheeks. Kylo had never seen him display such emotion, before. He recoiled away, fear flooding his insides. Kylo knew, from experience, that an emotional man was an erratic man, a dangerous man.

“So, you'd rather be my _whore_ , than entertain a true relationship.”

“No, it's not.... we're simply taking what we need, from each other.”

Hux suddenly grabbed him and threw him down onto his back, holding his wrists down, firmly, into the mattress.

“Fine then. You're going to take me, deep into your throat. And you're going to like it.”

“Get out of my bed,” Kylo said, feeling non-threatened by Hux's words. Only once before, he had asked for Kylo to take him into his mouth, straight after having intercourse with him. Kylo had vehemently refused, so Hux had not asked again, until now.

“Come on, _whore_ ,” Hux said, rubbing his naked body against Kylo's. “If being taken by me is all you feel you are good for, then you might as well go all the way. This time, I’m going to take you so hard that you bleed, that you need all of your Force powers, to heal your injuries!”

Kylo moved his hand up and used the Force to throw Hux across the room. The general instantly righted himself, eyes blazing. Although Kylo believed that Hux was purely venting his anger, he would not allow for such vile words to be spat at him.

“Get out of my sight!” Kylo ordered. “Don't you need to be back on the base?”

“Fine, then,” Hux said. “It will be my pleasure, to meet that slut pilot again!”

Both were silent as Hux quickly dressed. Kylo watched him leave the room, his inner turmoil swirling around his body, with such viscosity, it was threatening to drown him. He told himself that perhaps he could have dealt with that in a better way.

*

That night, before bed, Kylo reached down and picked up the leaf, from the ground, holding it in his palm. After the argument, Hux left the planet. Kylo spent the rest of the day meditating and strengthening his Force powers, in preparation for the battle, the next day.

He was certain that, despite his attempts to clear his head, stress would not allow sleep. However, as soon as he lay down, leaf in hand, he felt drowsiness take over.

Sand dunes, as far as the eye could see. A dim fire, in the foreground, with the familiar dark-haired figure already before it.

He was back on Jakku. Kylo looked down, opening his hand, confirming the leaf, inside.

Poe was silent, as he approached and sat down. The leaf was real, so did this mean that the dream was real? Upon asking him, Poe was clearly as bewildered, as he was.

“So how was your day? Learnt a few more Dark Jedi tricks?” Poe now asked, cheeky, as usual.

_He could force my mind.... the Resistance... hasn't... why?_

Before he could stop himself, Kylo snapped a retort, to the disjointed thought he had picked up on, attempting to confirm, in the most severe way possible, his power, and therefore dominance, over Poe, now.

Poe did not seem the least afraid, which only served to increase his irritation. However, something else was building inside him, as well,an emotion that he never thought he would feel, in regards to a scum member of the Resistance. If he wasn't mistaken, he was certain that the emotion settling in the pit of his stomach, as he watched Poe talk to him as though they were equals, was pride.

_Why am I even here?_

“Yawn. Who cares? You know what's interesting? You talk about your new, amazing powers. And yet you came here, looking as though Snoke just ate the last slice of your birthday cake. If I had awesome new powers, I would be feeling pretty damned great about it! So, what's the plan? Kill Rey, kill Luke, oh and kill Leia? Those are a lot of people to get through.”

Poe still held a slight smile, on his well-structured face. A single tangle of his hair was stuck on his cheek bone. Kylo resisted the strong urge to brush it off, to take those lips in a kiss.

With no desire to talk about any of his plans, to a member of the Resistance, he asked about FN2187. Poe continued to display his typical cocky attitude, so, in response, Kylo pushed back. He had to admit, a part of himself was enjoying the interaction.

“You find me humorous?” Kylo asked, after Poe finally laughed, at one of his dry remarks. The look on Poe's face, was of a child discovering a new type of fascinating insect, in the back yard.

_He is adorable._

Kylo felt as though his stomach was being zapped, with a delicious charge, at the sight.

“You find me poetic? Ok, 'oh my dark haired beauty, with hair as dark as an olgar bush on the very fertile forests of Endor, with eyes, the colour of... branches, from the very fertile forests of Endor-”

While Kylo was enjoying the advancement and retreat, of the pleasurable charge jolting his stomach, at the sight of Poe's goofiness, he had to admit one flaw. Kylo had no idea what _that_ was meant to be, but it truly was awful. He knew that Poe was deliberately making bad poetry. Even so, the aesthete in Kylo, who had studied the great poets of Dargassian at length, when he was a pupil of Luke's, could not help but feel rather unnerved.

“It's a mark of your _own_ dark-haired beauty, that, despite... whatever _that_ was... I am still desperate to have you...”

Poe laughed again, the tinkle melodic to Kylo's ears. He then smiled at him, looking so angelic that Kylo felt something concurrently heal but also break within him, the charge in his stomach now exploding upwards, spiralling out to travel through the entire rest of his body. Kylo wanted him, needed the feel of his flesh, the touch of his lips.

Poe instantly heeded to his desires, moving towards him, touching him, taking his erection in his hand... lowering his head. As soon as Poe's mouth went around his erection, it was clear that he knew exactly what to do, to bring the highest level of pleasure, to his partner. Kylo looked down at the bobbing head, utterly amazed that he could feel so good. The first time that Poe had entered him, he had the same revelation. How was it possible, to feel such ecstasy?

Poe then moved his head lower and Kylo felt pleasure now so great that it was almost painful, almost impossible. Hux had, certainly, taken him in mouth and he had enjoyed it, but never like this, never had he experienced such strong feelings. He clenched his hands in Poe's hair, feeling shattered but in the best possible way. The crescendo started to build, and Kylo went to pull away. One time, with Hux, out of curiosity, he had allowed the general to complete, in his mouth. He decided that he did not like the experience and told Hux as such, afterwards, informing him that he would not allow it again, much to the general's displeasure.

“Wait, wait, I'm about to...” He went to pull away, only to have Poe grip his hips, forcing him back into his mouth. Kylo cried out, unable to hold back any longer, reaching a peak so high that he felt his entire body shake, almost uncontrollably, with desire. As he came down, still shaking, Poe took his mouth off his dwindling erection, smiling up at him. Kylo felt so grateful to him, at that point, that he would have done anything, in reciprocation.

Change sides? His mind antagonised him. Go fully to the light?

“So you enjoyed that?” Poe's lips quirked up.

Kylo lay himself on the ground, rearranging his clothes, to reveal his flesh. He still felt a little sore, from the rough coupling with Hux, but it did not matter. He would allow potential pain, if it meant giving himself to Poe.

He felt Poe's lips on his flesh then felt utterly bewildered, as the pilot rolled him over, onto his back. Poe seemed content to kiss him, to pull up his shirt and run his hands over his bare body, to rub his own torso against his. Kylo, needing to feel Poe's flesh, his lips, eagerly touched him, reacquainting himself with the beautiful, firm body. However, he was confused as to why Poe wasn't taking what he was offering so freely? Surely, to be inside another was the greatest pleasure one could receive?

“Yes, yes...” Kylo felt the warmth of Poe's release on the flesh of his stomach.

“You didn't want me,” Kylo said, a sour taste entering his mouth.

Poe's face was flushed, more tangles stuck to his cheeks. “Huh? I just...”

“You refused to take me.”

Poe's response made it clear. His pleasure, when they were intimate, was based on Kylo's own. This was a new discovery, for Kylo. He vaguely replied to Poe's next, cheeky comments, without truly hearing them.

To not simply wish for one's own pleasure, but for another’s.

But then, wasn't that what he had always done, in his intimacy with Poe, and with Hux? Hadn't he always endeavoured for them to feel the utmost ecstasy? The difference was, he realised, that Hux took that pleasure, without considering his own. Poe, on the other hand, was clearly as interested in Kylo's pleasure, as his own.

Poe crawled into his lap, feeling warm, strong, incredibly real. The Resistance, the New Order. The light. The dark. Kylo didn't wish to think of any of them, in that moment. He simply wanted the moment to just be about him and the gorgeous one in his arms. Beyond beautiful. Strong. Resilient.

_He is mine. And I am his._

Only, this could never be. There was a chasm between them, their beliefs, their lives were too diametrically opposite. They could be intimate, but they could never be together, not truly.

He told Poe what the First Order knew of the spy mission, that they would be betrayed, by Phasma. None of it mattered. As Plageus had foreseen, they would be defeated, regardless of what Poe now knew.

Kylo knew not to ask Poe again, to join him, in the first Order. He would never betray the Resistance. Shame, really, that such a pretty pretty man would have to die, for no reason other than being on the wrong side.

“Your Resistance will fail. And all remaining Jedis killed.”

Not just die, he reminded himself. Yes, Hux would follow through on his threat, with Poe, if captured. Of that, Kylo had no doubt. 

Perhaps Kylo may have developed feelings for him, at one point. He didn't have a strong grasp on how the heart worked. However, Hux's antics, his jealousy, his constant attempts at one-upmanship when it came to Plageus, his abuse of the power that Kylo freely gave him, in  Kylo's mind, voided any chance of that ever occurring. He could never see Hux as anything other than one to manipulate, to his benefit.

“I am good at hiding my emotions and thoughts. Even so, my master senses my... vulnerability, when it comes to you. But I will not let Hux hurt you. I would rather have you die, than have him disgrace you, in such a way.”

Such strong emotions, pouring out of the large eyes. Poe clearly had never been taught to reign himself in, that to display too strong an emotion was to be weak.

_If you were Force sensitive, then I could teach you. Shame..._

“Snoke... he would let it happen, wouldn't he? Sick bastard. He'd let Hux rape me...To punish you.”

Perhaps this would be true. Plageus was fast to hand out both punishment and reward, when coercing Kylo to his side. For now, Plageus clearly saw Poe as merely an amusement, for his pupil to play with. Kylo considered what his reaction would be, if he realised the extent to which the pilot had nestled his way into Kylo's psyche.

Yes, he could very much see Plageus allowing Poe to be hurt, as a way of punishing him.

“I will not let that happen.”

“If you try and stop it, then I could see that bastard Snoke killing you, just for going against him. Look don't potentially die, for my sake. If Hux... then I’ll just have to deal, won't I? Although he'll probably not let me live anyway, after that.”

Kylo felt tears burn, at the corners of his eyelids.

“You would let that happen to you, to allow me to live? Why?”

“Because of Leia. Because I could never forgive myself if she knew that I allowed her son to be murdered, even if I was raped, as a consequence.”

Kylo felt the tears now run down his face. His enemy was willing to suffer from the most grotesque of crimes, to save a man, who he knew had committed the most heinous crimes, himself. For his general. For...

Leia's son.

“Ben!” Han had called out to him, on the bridge. He had wanted to see the face of his son, for the first time, in many a year.

Kylo felt as though his brain was tearing itself apart, as though a tiny battle of it's own was going on, inside.

_If Poe truly is captured, and Hux gets to him first..._

No, he would not let that happen. He refused.

His mind went again, to his last conversation with Hux, the humiliating declaration, followed by the jump to instantly blame Poe.

_… almost as though he believes there is more than simple sexual attraction, between us..._

“Be careful, yourself,” Poe said. “When I said I didn't want you to die, for my sake, the reason why wasn't entirely because of Leia.”

Poe's eyes were mere centimetres from his own. Looking into the dark irises, Kylo finally realised the simplicity of what he had been fighting, in regards to Poe, finally giving in, concluding what Hux already suspected.

_… there is more than simple sexual attraction,between us..._

“This thing between us, I feel it too. It's real.”

His mind then went to their first meeting together. Perhaps he had felt hesitant to force information out of Rey's mind,after he captured her, because of what he'd done to Poe, how he had violated his mind.

He felt his innards twist painfully,at the thought.

Only, relating it to Poe, now, the pilot didn't seem too concerned.

“Show me one of yours,” he said.

Kylo thought back to himself, as a child. Just as Poe had shown him an image of himself, so Kylo wanted to return the favour. One memory came back, himself as a toddler, using the Force, to lift a rock. Only, he wasn't aware it was the Force, then. He only knew that he was different to the other children in his acquaintance, could do amazing things, that both scared and delighted them.

_“What have you got there, Ben?”_

_Han Solo's voice._

“No!” No, he suddenly didn't want this, he wanted out, only Poe was clamping down on his mind. He couldn't, though... this was impossible. Kylo was a strong Dark Force user. A pilot, with no Jedi training, could not do this to him.

_“Well, well, aren't you clever?” Han said, kneeling before him, with Chewbacca standing behind._

“No!” As the image faded from his mind, he stumbled backwards. He shouldn't have done that, should not have allowed Poe to manipulate him.

“It's ok... It's alright...” Poe said. “I know he loved you, right till the end. Even after you stabbed him, he still loved you.”

“No!” Kylo unleashed his lightsaber and brought it up, high over his head, then slashed at the ground with it. No no no no no! He allowed all of his hatred, his rage, to flow through him; hatred directed towards Han, towards Leia, towards Poe...towards himself... he saw the light still in his father's eyes, even after the lightsaber had sliced through his very heart, felt the hand that touched his face. Han had not showed anger, or shock at his death but rather... forgiveness.

He collapsed to the ground, dropping the lightsaber, spent of all fury, leaving mere emptiness.

“Leave me.”

At the end of his life, Han had made the greatest sacrifice, for Kylo. He had been truly thankful for that, for the chance to truly reconcile himself, to the Darkside.

“Where am I meant to go?” Poe said.

_Only have you, truly? Are you truly reconciled away from the light?_

“It's ok...” Kylo felt his fingers, in his hair. “it's ok...” Kylo looked into his calm face, wanting to believe it, willing, with every fibre of his being, for his life to take some kind of semblance of normality.

“Everything will be alright, Ben.”

That name, shouted across the deep chasm of the Starkiller Base. The same name that Lor San Tekka alluded to. A weak name. A foolish name, for a weak and foolish young man.

Much like Han. Lor San Tekka.

Kylo felt the rage move through his body, once more. He fed on it, holding the lightsaber high above his head.

Much like the pilot was weak and foolish, for using it.

“No, don't-” Poe began, face stricken.

*

Kylo jolted awake, taking a few moments to calm his racing heart, his trembling hands. Poe's manipulation of him was tearing apart his already damaged psyche. Furthermore, he was letting him. And for what? A fantastic sex life?

_Ridiculous, Kylo!_

_(“I've fallen in love with you,” Hux had said. And what of you and Poe?)_

_It's best if I completely block Poe from my mind, pretty as he is._

_(What is it that you have between you two?)_

He closed his eyes, concentrating, using the Force, to search through aeons of time, of space, of minds.

_It is best, for both of us, if we forget our intimacy._

Perhaps he had reached Poe's mind. Perhaps not.

All that mattered was that Kylo was adamant. He was going to push all thoughts of Poe, of Han Solo and the Resistance aside, leaving only one, very simple idea.

“Tomorrow they will be defeated, grandfather,” he swore. “We will truly achieve victory.”

He allowed the darkness in, urging it to squash any remaining light, within himself.

“Tomorrow, I will do justice to your memory.”

Tbc...


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The proverbial 'shit is going down' chapter. Warning for a lot of death and destruction in this chapter (but no major character death).
> 
> There's a fair amount of Luke exposition.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!
> 
> Thanks to all who are reading ;)

As the the Resistance members assembled on the aircraft landing bay tarmac, to watch the Millenium Falcon dock, Poe could distinctly feel the anticipation, in the air. The craggy, yet, in Poe's eye, beautiful spaceship slowly descended, to a very smooth landing, then simply sat, idling.

The atmosphere now felt heavy with expectation; the Resistance members forming a rough semi-circle, around the landed craft. Poe was usually thrilled to be in the centre of the action. Furthermore, he was about to meet Luke Skywalker, the very reason for him wishing to become a pilot, to begin with. Yet, as the others, including Finn, rushed past him to get closer to the spaceship's entrance, his adulation of Luke Skywalker, was the very reason why he _couldn't_ come forward, to introduce himself.

The entrance ramp descended, and the wookie, Chewbacca, was the first to stomp out, letting out a roar of annoyance, at the assembled crowd. He was followed by R2D2. BB8 launched herself around Poe's legs, in very cute fashion, slamming into R2D2, who then stopped, on the ramp, and moved his legs up and down, buttons flashing.

Rey then stepped out, looking also a little shocked, at the gathered crowd, but glad to be there, never-the-less.

“Rey!” Finn came racing forward, to greet her, at the bottom of the ramp. Her face lit up in a smile, and she eagerly fell into his embrace.

After her, the last figure came out. Poe felt as though all of the oxygen had momentarily been sucked, from his body. The man wore grey robes and sported a thick, grey beard. He was smaller than how Poe had pictured him, but made up for it, with the grandness of his very aura. The crowd collectively fell silent, even the various fauna, in the area, ceased with their various chirps and twitters.

The silence was broken by Leia, who came up the ramp, to him. “Oh Luke! Luke, it's so good to see you again!”

“Leia!” The brother and sister embraced.

Poe had fantasied about this moment for as long as he could remember; meeting the great Luke Skywalker. In many a fantasy, he had gone through every possibility as to what he would say, how Luke would react.

But now that the great man was before him, all of the words dried up, in his mouth.

Finn and Rey pulled away, talking, at a very fast pace, to one another.

“So didyoudo it? Are you a Jedi? How was it trainingwithLukedamnedSkywalker?” Finn said.

“It wasincredible! Don't get me wrong, I stillthink I need a lotof training. It was really hard, too. I missed you, Finn. I wished you were there.”

The crowd started to gradually disperse, but for a few, still staring people.

_I will talk to them, to all of them. But not now._

Poe slowly walked away. Fifty metres up, he found a Z47 speeder-bike. He climbed on board, simply wanting to get as far away, as he could. He suspected that, now that Luke was back, Leia wouldn't exactly be executing the plan to destroy Starkiller Base Mark 2, straight away, giving him some time alone, to think.

_Let's face it, to brood. Yes, this is going to be a long afternoon of brooding._

Rather than turn left, towards the dingy ex-Empire affiliated pub, he turned north-east, towards the thick Guarvian forest. Once he was a good fifteen minutes into the thickened virulently green trees, he ditched the speeder, setting off on foot.

“Yes, hello, Luke,” he mumbled, to himself. “You have always been such an inspiration, to me. Oh and by the way, you know that nephew of yours, who betrayed you and killed many of your followers and then killed his own father? I've been having intimate relations with him. I know it's wrong. But I can't help myself.” He sat down, on a moss covered log. “Idiot, Poe.”

No, he couldn't bare to even look at Luke Skywalker, to have to admit to his failings, in regards to his nephew. It had been humiliating enough, telling the General.

How to even begin to explain it to Luke? It was sick and wrong and yet every time he saw Kylo, he felt that pull, that need to be with him, not only in a physical way. He longed to break through the flimsy defences that Kylo put up, to the true man beneath. Poe was certain that he had seen glimpses of Luke's nephew, of Ben, underneath the flesh mask that called himself Kylo Ren.

The larger part of himself realised that he was being ridiculous; acting like a silly teenager, wishing to 'save the bad boy'. Hell, he'd _been_ that teenager. That particular relationship had spectacularly exploded, with the force of a supernova. Only, Poe thought, allowing himself a grim smile, without the cool visuals.

_Managed to mess up the potential meeting of a lifetime. Good work, Poe!_

A sound interrupted his thoughts, another Z47, speeding towards him. Unconsciously, he reached for his blaster, before recognising the blond hair of his last, dull sexual encounter, on the base. Miles stopped the speeder a few metres before him and then jumped off.

“You followed me?” Poe asked.

“You looked upset. Everything alright?”

Poe burst out laughing, which only served to increase Miles' expression of consternation.

“You shouldn't have come here. I'm not going to have sex with you, again,” Poe said. _Please leave._

A sudden, dark look came over the moon face.

“You are such a damned manslut!”

Poe rolled his eyes.

“You'll fuck anything. I know that you fucked Kylo Ren, after being captured by him. I guess that's one way to get information.”

_Well... damn..._

“Wow! What an amazing imagination that you have,” Poe quickly hid the sinking feeling that this information caused, in his gut.

A cold smile lifted up the corners of Miles' mouth. “One of the guards, who also happens to be a friend of mine, overheard your conversation with General Organa, in the library room. You told her how you fucked Kylo Ren. On more than one occasion.”

Poe felt all of the blood drain from his face, his insides feeling too loose and shaky, as though they had suddenly been replaced by the kind of natural jelly that could only be found in a juntaberry plant. “That was a private conversation!”

“You're a traitor to the cause. I'm utterly surprised that the General isn't making an example of you. I guess the fact that the psycho is her son, may have something to do with it. Well, I have no such compulsions, traitor! I think everyone should know, how you've been intimate with the enemy. Let everyone decide what to do with you. I love and respect the General. But this goes beyond her, I'm afraid to say.”

Poe forced a sultry smile on his face, ignoring his now pounding heart. “It was merely to get information off him, for the Resistance.”

“We can let the Resistance members decide that. How about Luke Skywalker? I'm sure he'd be interested to know that the General's best pilot, has been treasonous, with his utterly messed-up nephew!”

At one point, in pilot training school, many years before, three of his fellow students had attempted to undermine and bully Poe. Rather than allowing the teasing and occasional slaps to the back of the head, or kicks as he walked past, to shake his confidence, Poe deliberately used the ill-behaviour of the others, as fuel, to plough through his training, to achieve the highest possible commendation, at the end. He would never forget the satisfaction that he felt, smirking at his failed tormentors, as he stepped off the graduation stage.

No upstart pug-nosed fellow pilot, particularly one as bad in bed as this one, was going to frighten him. He had suffered through too much, to allow this little moron to shake him.

“Fine, tell all of them. I won't be intimidated. Especially by you,” Poe said, standing up.

Both faced off, staring at each other.

If the others discovered about his shenanigans with Kylo, then so be it. He would deal with their reactions, as they came. Although, if he was honest with himself, he was rather certain that he could use his wit and charm to sweet talk himself out of any potential severe repercussions.

Some of the Resistance would agree with Miles that he was a manslut. He could deal with that. He'd been called worse.

_“I don't think you're a manslut at all!” Kylo had said to him, in the dream, brows slightly furrowed in indignation, full lips slightly downturned._

A noise then sounded, a third speeder-bike, moving swiftly, through the forest.

The speeder stopped, the occupant hidden by the foliage, to their south. Both Poe and Miles watched, as the figure then started to move around the trees, their grey hood covering their face.

“Leave us,” the voice said, to Miles.

As Miles silently jumped back onto his speeder, and zoomed out of the forest, Luke removed his hood, his pale blue eyes staring, piercing into Poe, who could only stare back, mesmerised, at his idol.

“My sister tells me a lot about you. It seems she is very fond of you, Poe Dameron.”

Poe simply stood awkwardly, not knowing how to respond.

_Say something, idiot!_

“After Rey found me, I was able to establish a psychic link, of sorts, with Leia. Yes, she has told me a lot. Particularly in regards to you.”

Poe was finally able to find his voice, and could only manage the two words, that he felt were appropriate, for the entire mess.

“I'm sorry.”

“Why are you apologising?” Luke appeared honestly puzzled. “We couldn't communicate in words, so much. More in emotions, images. But any information, in regards to her best pilot, always carried a great feeling of warmth and pride.”

“What did she tell you about me?” Poe allowed a bit of curiosity, to overcome his strong feeling of dishonour.

“Let's sit down. The log looks... somewhat comfortable enough.”

Feeling dazed, Poe sat down opposite him.

“What do you know of... what happened with my nephew?”

Poe recalled Kylo's tear-streaked face, the night before, the beauty in his vulnerability.

“I know he was turned to the Darkside, having been manipulated by Snoke. That he formed the Knights of Ren, with members of the Jedi Order that you were forming, and killed the other students. Rey, your daughter, was placed on Jakku, to protect her. Only, Kylo found her... but he protected her...”

“You don't know the full story, then. Ben.. Kylo... was manipulated by Snoke because I...” He closed his eyes. “I became tempted by the Darkside.”

_What?_

To Poe, this revelation felt as though the entire universe had just winked out, to be replaced by another one made entirely of sulphur.

“You?”

_Yes, fine answer, Poe. Here is your idol, telling you that he was tempted by the damned Darkside and that's your resplendant reply._

“Rey's mother... after she died, in childbirth, I couldn't... I was so utterly overcome with grief. I kept going with the Jedi training, but my mind... my very soul was utterly shattered by the loss. Furious, despondent. This went over a very long time. Finally, Snoke came to me, revealed himself to be Darth Plageus. Told me of his powers, that he could bring someone back from the dead. I was... I was so tempted, I almost... In the end, I pulled back, however and fought him. I almost succeeded in destroying him. Furious with me, Plageus vowed to destroy everything that I held dear, including the two of my most valuable pupils, Ben and Rey. He succeeded, with Ben. After Ben and the Knights of Ren destroyed my Jedi Order, then I... I fled, like the coward that I was.”

Poe felt absolutely stunned, that his idol, would speak, in this way.

“No, you were no coward.”

“It is because of me, that Ben has become what he has become. It is because of me, that Han Solo is dead,” Luke said, tears running down his face.

“No, it's not you. It's not Kylo Ren. It's Plageus. And only him,” Poe said, distressed by Luke's tears.

“Plageus, he has vowed to kill me, I know. He's vowed to kill all of the Jedi. I already know that he has taught Ben the powers to bring back the dead. However, to do so will eventually destroy his soul, marking it ugly and irredeemable. To give life, one must also take life. The purer, or more powerful, the better. There was... another Jedi. I sensed their presence. So did Leia. My father, when he turned to the Darkside, murdered all Jedi,but for one, a child, secreted away, from the eyes of the Empire. She then grew up to bare a child. Plageus found them, killed the mother and brought the child to Kylo Ren. As a part of his training, he brought back a fellow officer from the dead, yes I could sense this, in the force. But, Plageus also made him kill the child. This, I also sensed.”

_The dream... Kylo's clear suffering, from the moment that he sat by the fire...._

“Leia thinks that there is still light in Ben, that he can be brought back. This... I don't know. To be fully redeemed, would be incredibly painful, the pain of which may kill him, anyway. He would have to give up his powers of being Master of Death, would have to bear full responsibility, feel the weight of his remorse, for every action that he has taken. Only when he truly accepts this, would his soul be complete, again.”

“Even despite everything that he has done, there is still light in him. I've seen it,” Poe said. “He feels utterly torn by his actions. The death of Han Solo, rather than bring his closure, has simply opened him up to more suffering. Yes, I believe that he can be brought back. Things can be put to right, again.”

Luke simply stared at him, with his keen eyes.

“My father, I brought him back...”

“Yes! I... I spoke to him... in a dream.”

“My father spoke to you?” Luke appeared clearly taken aback.

“He told me that he can't get through to Kyl- Ben. He is too enamoured with Darth Vader. But that maybe I can. He also felt that there is still light in him.”

“Leia tells me that you have an... intimacy with him...”

There it was. Poe felt an ugly emotion twist his stomach. He looked away, feeling his face flush.

“She says if anyone will get through to him, it will be _you_.”

“I don't know,” Poe admitted. “I truly don't know.” He turned back, to look into the wise, blue irises. “But I hope so. I really do.”

Luke studied him a moment longer, before nodding.

*

“May the Force be with you,” Ackbar finished.

The room erupted into cheers and claps. This time, Poe joined in. Hell, if this was going to be his last day with a physical body, then he decided that he was going to enjoy it.

The plan was set into motion, and the decision made to go now, in the hopes that it would take the First Order off guard.

“Let's go,” Poe said to Finn, clapping him on the shoulder. He then looked at Rey, standing opposite them, beside Luke.

“Good luck.”

“You too,” she held out her hand and he took it, shaking. He could see the determination in her eyes, echoed in his own.

Feeling eyes on him, Poe turned, to see the helmeted head of Captain Phasma, standing within a metre of him. Poe recalled Kylo's warning of her betrayal, and clamped down on the fury, struggling to take hold, in his body.

“You should have visited me again, pretty one,” Phasma said. “We could have had a good time.”

“You're not exactly my type,” Poe said.

“Because I am XX chromosome, instead of XY?”

“Oh no, I quite like XX chromosome species at times. No, it's more I don't go for murderous bitches.”

Behind the helmet, he was certain that she was smiling.

“No, instead you go for murderous bastards.”

“What can I say? I'm complicated.”

He turned his back on her, before she could respond again.

Him and Poe then swiftly walked the maze of corridors, out of the base, to the main aircraft landing zone. They reached the centre, where all of the other pilots were gathered.

“We'll be ok, today. We'll do great!” Poe reassured them. He glanced at Miles, who was openly glaring at him.

_He can tell them. I don't care._

Poe started to hug his fellow pilots but deliberately avoided Miles. He then went over to his own X-Wing, and started on the obligatory checks. Following into motion with him, Finn didn't need to be told what to do. He simply climbed under the cockpit, and opened the hatch to check the fuel regulator.

“Don't forget to regulate the fuel oximetre,” Ren said, smiling, as she went past, with Luke.

“Damn, almost forgot that!” Finn muttered.

“I would have reminded you,” Poe said, his eyes on Luke, a slight frown on his face, as he recalled their earlier conversation. Thinking on it now, Luke had not seemed particularly optimistic about their chances of success.

Behind Luke, Leia, Chewbacca and Phasma walked. Seeing the General on the tarmac, all the pilots,Poe included, stopped what they were doing, and saluted.

Seeing Leia walk over to the X-Wing diagonally from his own, Poe felt as though his innards were being wrenched around a vice. He wished that Leia would stay this one out but understood why she was going, even if it was clear that the other Resistance members didn't. Indeed, Ackbar had tried to talk her out of leaving.

_Ben Skywalker._

He really didn't have a good feeling about this.

*

The operation was a shambles, from the moment, that the three aircraft flew, at light-speed, into Starkiller Base Mark 2. Instantly, a bunch of tie-fighters moved in on them. Poe, whose role was to be a decoy, split off from the two aircraft containing Rey and Luke, and Leia, Chewbacca and Phasma, and took the tie-fighters on quite the chase around the forest planet. As he flew through trees, squeezed through narrow canyons, and skimmed along water, as Finn fired back at the advancing tie-fighters, Poe felt a rush, that only ever came, from when he was flying. Here, was where he felt free, here, he was truly alive.

“Alright there, Finn?” He called back.

“All good!”

Somewhat dampening his usual enthusiasm, were the screams of his fellow pilots, on the radio coms. Kylo had been right about the ambush. As soon as they had flew into the planet, they were descended upon, by a fleet of both tie-fighters and star destroyers, as well as fired upon, by gunships, on the planet, itself. Rather than the usual unity, Poe heard screams of panic, of terror. It was an absolute, bloody battle, in which the Resistance was clearly losing, from the outset.

However, he blocked it out. Deliberately, forcefully. Here, the only priority was in drawing the tie-fighters, as far away from the other two aircraft on the surface of the planet, as possible. He could not allow the death of his comrades to influence his behaviour, on the mission.

“Retreat! Retreat!” He heard a few of his fellow pilots yell, followed by screams of untold horror.

Poe turned the X-Wing ninety degrees. He could hear Finn screaming with shock, in the back, as they went through two trees, with such narrow space, that the roof of the X-Wing scraped the trunk of the left tree. The X-Wing zoomed out of the trees, unharmed, but for scratches on the exterior. Poe told himself that he could live with that.

The tie-fighter pilot wasn't so lucky. He hit the tree at full speed, exploding, mid-air. Finn screamed with delight. Feeling the rush of taking down one of the enemy, Finn was about to respond in fashion, when Kylo's words came to him.

_“The great, handsome, brave pilot, who whoops and hollers with glee, when he kills people from the Order. Storm-troopers like your friend...”_

_Great, now I can't even enjoy destroying the enemy, who is intent on destroying me. Thanks a lot, Kylo!_

He thought of Finn, sitting at the back, now firing on the very ones that he was brought up to serve. Surely, his fellow First Order storm-troopers weren’t all terrible beings. He had already admitted that Polo Hux was an alright kind of guy.

Although Finn seemed always cheery, during the day, he wondered how often, late at night, when he was in bed, that these questions infested his mind.

Another voice, came through the radio coms.

“We're hit! Going down!”

_Leia._

Feeling as though he'd just been slugged by Finn's blaster, Poe almost, absent-mindedly, turned his aircraft around, to go to her. But no, he had to stick to the plan. With fury coursing through his body, he flew up, into the air, speeding at high velocity, and took out five tie-fighters preying on his fellow pilots, before zooming back down to the planet.

_Please let her still be alive..._

“Damn are you some pilot!” In the gunner position, Finn yelled.

He did a complete one-eighty and turned to face one of the tie-fighers, allowing Finn to take them out, in a direct hit.

“Wooh!” Finn yelled. “Take that!”

Poe then spun the aircraft around once more, and zoomed along a lake, headed back towards the trees to the east.

“We're also hit! This is not going to be a light landing!” Rey said, over the radio.

“The other two aircraft are hit!” Poe yelled at Finn. “I'm going back.”

“Are they ok?” Finn screamed back at him. “Are they going-?”

Then the aircraft was rocked, by a huge explosion on the left wing.

“Going down!” Poe said, as they rocketed towards the ground, at tremendous speed. He managed to pull the nose up, at the last moment, as they slammed into the sandy lake shore, sending him flying off his chair, and painfully into the wall, opposite.

“Are you alright, Finn?” He asked, picking himself up and confirming a lack of injury.

“Yeah, I'm alright.”

Poe started to clamber to the back, when the door, leading into the aircraft, opened. He fired, taking out two storm-troopers with his blaster, but many more then came on board, guns raised, swiftly surrounding him and Finn.

Feeling his heart disappear into his stomach, Poe put his hands up.

“Take them to the main base,” one of the stormtroopers ordered. “Hux wants them.”

Poe heard static on their radio. He could make out aspects of the news being relayed.

“.... Kylo Ren...”

“What's that about Kylo Ren?”

“None of your concern, scum,” one of the storm-troopers said. He felt sudden, searing pain in his lumbar spine, as the stormtroooper rammed his gun into it.

“Alright, you didn't need to do that. I was just assuming that we've managed to take out your main weapon...I'm not talking about that machine you're building.”

“You'd be very mistaken then, Resistance scum. Kylo Ren has just arrived on the planet. And he will be the one to take out your pathetic so-called Jedi friends.”

The intertwining of Jedi. Leia and Luke. Kylo and Rey. Parents and children. Snoke's predictions were starting to become true.

Poe turned to look at Finn, who stared back at him, with equal horror.

tbc...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, I know it's almost become a Star Wars clique- destroy the rebuilding of Starkiller (Death) Base (Star). I had to give the pilots something to do, so came up with this flimsy excuse ;)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special warning in this chapter: Please heed the tags for 'non-consensual touching' as well as 'threats of rape/non-con'. There is no actual rape in this chapter (I couldn't do that to Poe) but it's still very unpleasant for Poe.
> 
> Also warning for the death of a (minor) canon character.

_“White leader! Three behind you-”_

_“Green leader! Look out-”_

_“I can't hold them!”_

_“Retreat! Retreat!”_

_“There are too many!”_

_“I'm hit!”_

The bridge on the second Starkiller Base was more compact than the first, with a rather vivid red colour scheme. It was clear that the interior designers thought the original one to be too stark, and hence had wanted to invigorate the area. Hux had no experience in such areas of construction and thus deferred to their expertise.

Initially, the bright colour palette was a bit jarring. Now, standing in the centre of the bloody coloured bridge, next to the communications centre, he realised how fitting it was, to be in this very position, hearing the screams of terror, from the Resistance pilots, as they were easily picked off by the First Order's far superior gun power. It would have been gratifying, if Poe Dameron's voice, was among those shouting out their imminent demise, but he already knew that this wouldn't be the case. If Snoke's prediction was true, and it did appear to be panning out that way, the whorish pilot would be captured, alive.

Although than the aerial battle above the planet was vastly in their favour, it was the news of the fight occurring at the base of the planet, that was causing rather a stir, amongst the members of the Order . This was mainly because of who was engaged in it. Poe Dameron and their traitor fellow storm-trooper FN2187 were of little consequence to them. Leia Organa and Luke Skywalker, however, were. Hux felt that he was the only one, who was not influenced by their celebrity. Whether Leia or Luke lived or died did not matter to him. They were part of an era that was best forgotten.

Hence, Hux held a rather unpopular opinion, when it came to the original Empire. To him, they were defeated far too easily, not because the 'Rebel Alliance' were particularly crafty but because the Empire made too many simple mistakes. Even the Emperor seemed too intent on capturing Luke Skywalker and turning him, to come up with a definitive plan in regards to utterly defeating their enemies.

The First Order, however, was well structured and, in Hux's opinion, uncannily shrewd. Even in the planning stages of building the first Starkiller Base, they knew that there was a possibility, no matter how slim, that their base may be destroyed and so prepared around that. If the first Starkiller Base was destroyed they would simply build another one. However, they devised a very specific plan, to fool the Resistance, who would undoubtedly attempt to gain information about the second base. Should one of Order be captured, then they would tell their captors of a secret back entrance to the base.

After Phasma was captured by the Resistance, Hux knew that it was only a matter of time, before a bunch of cloaked Resistance spies arrived, to enter into the “janitor's corridor", based on Phasma's information. From there, the plan fell into place. A few storm-troopers allowed themselves to be captured and showed the pilots manufactured hints as to how to blow up the base a second time, using a second 'runner's gully'. Clearly, upon then returning to their own base, the spies had then dutifully reported this information to their fellow traitors. However, the Resistance was mistaken. The 'runner's gully', in this Starkiller Base had been deliberately built, to lure the pilots in. Firing upon it, with their vastly inferior starships, would have an impact on a planet as significant as a fly on a hilderbeast.

The Resistance returned, as the First Order knew it would, and the First Order was ready, with the full power of its armada. So far, the result was a beautiful scene of vivid destruction; a piece of art so intense and colourful that it deserved to hang in the foyer of the Museum of Couruscant, before the first Starkiller Base destroyed it, of course.

“Sir,” Hux's second came onto the bridge, interrupting his musings. “We have confirmed. Three X-Wings downed, on the surface of the planet. Luke Skywalker and his co-pilot have been captured and are being sent to Supreme Leader Snoke, as per your orders.”

Hux nodded. _Yes, good. That's two._

“The second downed X-Wing, containing General Organa, Captain Phasma and the wookie, Chewbacca of the Resistance, has been found in the Colgatta Region. However, the occupants are missing. We are still searching.”

_Not so good._

“Poe Dameron and FN2187, from the third downed X-Wing have been captured, and are being sent to the torture room, as per your instruction.”

_Better._

In that moment, Hux's attention was drawn outside the bridge aperture, to the small landing pad, directly below. As the familiar command shuttle docked onto the hexagonal surface, Hux could hear the excited murmurs of his comrades, around him. The ramp descended and Kylo Ren's familiar figure stepped out. Hux groped beside him, on the console, for binoculars, bringing them up to his face, to get a clearer view. For a moment, Kylo looked up. Hux felt his body jolt at the sight. Kylo Ren's face was smooth, unblemished, the scar completely disappeared. Seeing Kylo Ren's slender but imposing figure, his very being felt as though it was about to explode with disparate emotion. Hux realised that his intense feelings for Kylo had not changed.

He watched the second, smaller figure stepped out of the command shuttle and then put the binoculars back down.

_We will be together, Kylo. But not now. When the Resistance is defeated, once and for all, I will then have the time, to make you understand the veracity of my feelings for you._

“Very well,” Hux said, turning back to his second-in-command. “You are now in command, here on the bridge, while I personally deal with the prisoners.”

As he hurried through exit to the rather less colourful hall outside, taking a shortcut through the adjoining corridors, to the torture room, his mind went to the night before and his rather clumsy declaration, to Kylo.

As soon as he had boarded his ship, to go back to Starkiller Planet Mark 2, he had realised that perhaps he had been a bit... overzealous with his words. He realised, now, that they were prompted by his complete bliss, over the most powerful intimacy that he had been blessed to be involved in. As he had thrusted into Kylo's pliant body, moving harder and faster, as per his lover's urges, he had felt all-powerful, all-masculine. Driving into the tight heat with such ferocity that it was surely painful, for Kylo, somehow, only seemed to make the sexual relations even more rapturous. Finally, despite the fractured nature of their relationship, he felt as though he truly owned Kylo, truly proved to him his dominance. When he reached his peak, it felt as though the force and quantity of his spill inside Kylo's body claimed him; once and for all, marking his partner as his. He recalled pulling out, seeing the semen slide down Kylo's thigh and resisting the urge to lick the substance off the sweaty flesh, before taking Kylo's mouth in a kiss. A few times, in the past, he had attempted to enact such a practice. Kylo had been adamant in refusing to allow their lips to touch.

When he had then rolled Kylo back onto his back, he had been too caught up in his post-orgasmic bliss, to truly notice his lover's distinctly cold expression.

Hux realised, now that he couldn't entirely blame Kylo, for the argument that followed his declaration of love. To the general, it was clear that Kylo was fearful of them truly admitting their feelings, for one another After all, he had simply launched the idea onto him. Kylo needed time to adjust, to ponder, to weigh up his circumstances, before coming to the right conclusion.

Hux would have to punish him, however; that went without question. He would start, with the very one who had caused these issues between him and Kylo, to begin with. Once the pilot was disposed off, then he would move on, to Kylo. His lover was too powerful, for him to attempt to physically punish, so he would have to come up with something more appropriate.

Once Kylo was appropriately reprimanded, then he would accept that he and Hux were truly meant to be together.

Yes, Hux's mouth formed a thin line, as he continued on the route towards the torture chamber. Punishment first, then the loving would come later.

He was, after all, a reasonable man.

*

And so it came to be. Captured again. Tied to the same damned torture rack, that he'd been tied to, before, in the First Order main spacecraft. Only this time, they’d moved it to the second Starkiller Base, and he was not alone.

Beside himself, tied to a different torture rack, lay Finn.

_Well, I guess they're economising on torture. Two for the price of one!_

“Finn! Are you awake?” Poe asked.

“Yeah, I'm awake.... You do realise this isn't going to turn out well, for either of us?”

“No, I guess not.”

So far, they had been simply placed there, and then left alone. Poe was quite certain that it wouldn't be for very long.

“With the others, do you think they're...?”

“They're alive,” Poe said. It felt too painful, to consider otherwise.

“I'm sorry, Poe. I can't rescue you, this time.”

“Well, I-”

The door handle started to open.

_Please, let it be Rey, or Luke, Chewbacca. Even Kylo Ren would be welcome, at this point._

General Hux stepped into the room, hair in place, sneer on his face. Poe felt as though his stomach had suddenly been jam packed full of razor blades.

“So, the traitor storm-trooper and the pretty boy traitor pilot,” Hux stepped over to Finn, examining him. “I always knew that you would be a disappointment.”

“You're the disappointment,” Finn spat.

“So, your friends fell for the little trap that we set. Right now, your fellow pilots are being slaughtered. You Resistance types are far too trusting. Didn't you guess that Phasma _deliberately_ let herself be captured?”

“Actually, we did. That’s why we set up two plans. Idiot!” Finn said.

“Yes, well your second plan isn't exactly going well either, is it? Right now, the remaining Skywalkers, yes, including the girl are being taken to Supreme Leader Snoke, to personally be disposed of. Soon, every last Jedi will be dead, including your precious General Organa and the oh so powerful Luke Skywalker.”

Poe felt his heart uplift. This meant that they were alive.

“You're the one that's going to fail,” Poe said, quietly, directing Hux's attention towards him. For a moment, the general simply gazed at him, as though he was a disgusting bug that he had to eradicate.

*  
Hux could almost manage to find some respect, for the pilot's stubborn inability to recognise defeat. It seemed that this one was going to be the ultimate poster boy for his failing Resistance, right up to his final breath.

“ _He_ healed himself, did you know? Healed the scar. He'll look so beautiful, standing over the corpses of his mother, uncle and cousin.”

Poe simply stared back, with a closed, yet steeled expression.

_He'll look even more beautiful, standing over your dead body._

Smirking, Hux turned to FN2187.

I'll have to come up with an inventive, painful way to dispose of you.”

“Just you try...”

_Oh, this one is positively adorable! Maybe I'll keep him around..._

_And as for Poe Dameron..._

Hux turned his attention back to Poe, slowly running his eyes down the fit, muscular body. There was no denying his beauty. He would undoubtedly be very satisfying, indeed, to be intimate with.

“But you...Maybe I'll keep you. Use you, whenever I feel the need. Yes, I'm sure Snoke will allow me my... pleasures,” he said, enjoying seeing the panic start to creep into the dark eyes. 

_Admit it, handsome or not, you only want him because Kylo had him._

Perhaps there was, indeed, truth to this. Hux had never considered taking another without their permission, until he had heard of the intimacy between this man and his lover.

*

Poe felt as though his body was suddenly caked in sludge. A part of him wanted to shy away from the suggestive words, to avert his eyes, from the eyes deliberately, and slowly, moving up and down his body.

A larger part of him refused to be abused, in such a way, without fighting back. He was aware that, even despite his talents, being tied to the rack, he couldn't fight back physically. But he knew the right words to say, to truly disturb the general.

*

“Kylo Ren doesn't want you,” Poe said. “He never did. He was using you, are you too thick to see? For your powers.”

“Poe...” Finn said, in a warning tone.

The words hit their intended target, lodging an arrow deep into Hux's already bleeding heart.

_It's a trick, a gimmick. He's bluffing you._

“He said you were a terrible lover.”

Another arrow, slamming into the already partially ruptured organ.

_Do not let him affect you._

“Said he was utterly bored, with your pathetic attentions. That’s what he called them, pathetic!”

Hux saw Kylo, in his mind, the expression on his face, after he had fucked him into the mattress.

_Kylo doesn't love you. Kylo said that he will never love you._

A barrage of arrows were now being fired at his chest.

*  
Poe saw the hand clench, the arm be drawn back. The fist slammed into the side of his face and he felt an explosion of pain, his ear ringing. Finn was yelling. He forced himself to laugh, once more.

“You are pathetic!”

“Shut up!” This time, the fist drove into his stomach. Poe felt the air get knocked out of him, he gasped, attempting to move oxygen into his lungs.

“I'll show you pathetic, you little whore!”

Poe felt his entire body freeze, as Hux started tearing his shirt, his fingernails scraping his flesh, in their haste.

_So, here it is. Kind of funny, how you drove him to it?_

He swallowed down crazed laughter that was starting to build up, in his throat.

_No, he would have done it, anyway._

“What are you doing?” Finn was yelling, as the majority of Poe's shirt now lay in shreds, on the ground. “Stop that!”

Hux's mouth sucked on his neck, his teeth digging deep, drawing blood, as his hands grabbed at his trousers, unzipping, yanking them, and his boxers down.

“Get off him! Get off him you sleaze!” Finn screamed.

_It's happening. He's really going to do it._

He found himself going further into his head, as Hux's hands painfully tugged at his hair, mouth now softer on his neck, kissing, licking. Hux moved up, and shoved his tongue into his mouth. Acting on instinct, Poe bit down, hard. Hux screeched, pulling away.

“You'll pay for that!”

“Don't touch him!” Finn shouted.

Poe felt his legs being unhooked, and attempted to kick out, but found it difficult, with his trousers and boxers, pulled down around his knees. Hux grabbed them and pulled them all the way off.

“No! Stop that! Get away from him!” Finn screamed.

Hux's hands roughly explored his entire body, scouring everywhere that they touched. Poe turned his head, to Finn. Tears were running down Finn's face.

“It's alright,” he reassured his friend, feeling his own tears slide down his own cheeks. “It will be alright.”

*

Hux felt an awesome power surge through himself. The pilot, who had overcome even the great Kylo Ren was quivering beneath him, crying like a three year old untrained storm-trooper. He leant forward and pressed his body against Poe's, his erection digging into the pilot's upper thigh, making his intent clear.

He was so focused on Poe, that he didn't hear the door unlock, and swing open. Hearing footsteps behind himself, Hux jumped back, turning around, to Phasma standing behind himself.

“Phasma!” Hux raised a hand and smoothed back his hair. “What are you doing?”

“I must release the prisoners,” she said slowly, sounding unsure of herself.

Hux felt a surge of irritation rush through his already frazzled countenance. Phasma would never turn. It was clear what was happening.

He had heard about Jedi Mind Tricks but had never seen them in motion, until now.

_Phasma had been with the General, who is the mother of Kylo... could it be possible....?_

Yes, it was a distinct possibility that Organa had, indeed, done this to Phasma. Hux felt indignant that Phasma had allowed her mind to be open enough for the ex-princess to trick it.

Even so, to him, this inconvenience was easily fixed.

Hux took out his blaster and pulled the trigger. Phasma collapsed down, clutching her now gaping stomach wound.

“What happened? You shot me!” She gasped.

“What happened was you were about to release my prisoners! You were with General Organa, weren't you? Where is she?” Hux said.

“Last I recall, we were headed for the west corridor, where Snoke had taken the others,” With visible effort, Phasma raised herself to a standing position, by gripping onto the door.

This more than confirmed to Hux that the Resistance leader had been the one to enact this.

“Hux... why is the pilot half-naked?”

“Don't you have other matters to attend to?” Hux asked.

Ignoring him, Phasma stepped closer to Poe.

“He truly is remarkable. I can see why you and Kylo like him. Even so,” she turned back to Hux. “This is not the time to be playing hide the lightsaber with your captive!”

“I will do as I please!” Hux shouted. “I am your superior here, and I am ordering you to leave!”

“This does not contribute to our objective,” Phasma said. Hux did not like her tone. She was sounding as though she was talking to a three year old. “Here, let me make it easier, for you.”

She withdrew her own blaster, and pointed it at FN2187. The ex-storm-trooper's brown eyes widened, in horror. Hux considered this scenario then inwardly shrugged. Listening to FN2187's panicked threats, as he molested Poe Dameron, was not only entertaining, but also served to increase his feeling of invincibility. He was doing whatever he pleased, with his friend, in front of him, and FN2187 was helpless to stop him.

However, he could easily forgo the ex-storm-trooper's presence. It was not necessary, for his retribution.

“You always were a pathetic storm-trooper,” she said.

“Better that, than a pathetic human being,” FN2187's voice was shaking.

Phasma suddenly pointed the weapon at Poe Dameron.

“No, actually, I think the pretty boy should go first. He's truly caused such a distraction, for both you and Kylo Ren.”

“Captain Phasma! Put the weapon down! That is a direct order!” Hux said.

_No! Surely she would not think to go against my direct order?_

“This won't solve anything,” Poe said, as Phasma continued to hold her weapon to his chest.

“No, you don't have to do this! You don't have to do this!” Finn started shouting.

Hux took out his own weapon, reasoning that he had no choice. Phasma had gone against his direct order and was about to murder a captive.

Furthermore, a captive that he very much wanted alive... for now.

He placed the weapon less than a few centimetres from the side of her helmet and fired. Phasma's head whipped quickly to the left and she collapsed to the ground, the hole, in the side of her helmet, smoking. Even so, Hux shot her, once more in the back, to be sure. The body jumped, then was still.

Hux felt a modicum of sorrow, for the one lying on the ground before him. Before this, she had been a good captain.

_Sorry, Phasma._

*

“Now, I just killed my loyal Captain,” Hux said, repocketing his weapon. “So now you know the extent of how far I'll go.”

Poe nodded, feeling true terror, at the madness in the man's eyes, more insane than anything he'd seen in Kylo Ren's eyes.

“I was lying,” Poe said. “We were just using each other, for information. He talked about how much he wanted _you_. How _good_ you make him feel.”

_Damn it, everything is disintegrating around us, and I'm somehow caught up, in the relationship problems between Hux and Kylo Ren._

“Liar!” Hux shouted. “I've seen the way he looks at you!”

“It's just lust,” Poe said. “A lot of beings look at me that way. But, what you have-”

“No, I see the torment in him. Snoke doesn’t see it but I do. He will turn for you.”

“No, it doesn't-”

“What is so special about you? The only thing I see is your obvious beauty. If he gets to have you, then why not me? Why shouldn't I partake?” Poe cringed, as again he felt hands run thorough his hair, down his chest.

“I will kill you for this, Hux!” Finn shouted.

“Oh yes,” Hux thankfully stepped away, for the moment. “I now remember you and my brother, Polo. Close, weren't you? He begged, did you know? When I put the knife to his throat, he begged and cried and wet himself. And I laughed.”

'You are truly evil,” Finn said, quietly.

“His blood was all over me. And do you know what I did then? I licked the last remaining dregs. It tasted like copper. Just like your friend's here.”

Poe flinched, as Hux then licked the blood off his neck, from where he'd bitten him.

“I will kill you,” Finn said, his voice suddenly eerily calm.

“No, you will die. You will all die,” he turned back to Poe. “I will now take you. Your friend here can watch. And after I've enjoyed myself with your admittedly enticing looking body, then I will slit both of your throats!”

Both of Hux's arms were suddenly yanked back. He gasped, rooted in position. To Poe, it looked very familiar. Hux continued to stand, frozen to the spot, trembling slightly, as though electricity was moving through him. The general then suddenly flew through the air, colliding with the wall opposite so hard, that he fell to the ground, and was still.

“Is he dead?” Finn asked. “Is he dead?”

“I hope so,” Poe said. However, he truly didn't think that they would be that lucky.

“Are you alright?”

Poe considered the question. “No, not really.”

“That sick bastard, Poe! I can't believe he was about to... What do you think happened? Do you think it was Leia? Or Luke Skywalker? Maybe Rey stopped him.”

“I think it was... I think it was Kylo Ren.”

Finn was quiet a long moment. “No, Poe. It couldn't be...”

“He... foresaw what was going to happen...He said he was going to save me...”

“I think I can...It sounds crazy but that storm-trooper that tied me up didn't do it tight enough. Plus I’m pretty sweaty. And I've always been pretty double jointed. If I keep trying, I think I can wriggle free.”

Poe fell silent, mind whirling, wondering what was happening with the others. Were they alive or dead? How were the pilots going? Was it truly Kylo Ren, who threw Hux back against the wall, or was he deluding himself?

On the ground, Hux started moaning.

“Damn it!” Finn started frantically jiggling his hands, in their cuffs.

Stay down, Poe thought. Stay down.

A few more minutes passed. Poe heard screams, coming from out of the corridor.

_Will we die here? If it is to be our destiny... As long as Hux dies too..._

More minutes passed. He could hear Finn's grunts, the cuffs jangling.

More screams.

Then a loud bang, an explosion so loud that Poe's ears started to ring. The entire room shook, bits of plaster from the ceiling falling down onto them.

“What do you think that was?” Finn asked.

Poe shook his head.

“I'm almost there, I think,” Finn said.

He started to jiggle the cuffs again, to grunt. On the ground, Hux groaned.

_No, no stay down!_

*

Hux whoosily started to pick himself back up, feeling as though his head was filled with splinters. Before he had crashed into the wall, he had heard a distinct voice, in his head.

Kylo Ren's.

_Do not touch him!_

Even now, it seemed, Kylo wished to protect the damned pilot! He would forgive him, as he always did. But they would have words about this later. Yes, very much so.

The door suddenly slammed open.

Kylo Ren came in, slithering on the ground, on his stomach, slowly, gingerly, as though the effort to move was taking all of his strength.

Hux felt intermingled relief and worry rush over himself. He recalled the last time that he had seen Kylo so weak.

That had been after Kylo had used his Jedi powers, to bring himself, Hux, back from the dead.

Tbc...


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to all who are reading/kudo'ing and commenting. :)
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: Three deaths- two major canon characters' deaths are mentioned, the third death is a canon, major character in this fic :)
> 
> Please also heed the 'Threats of Rape/Non Con' tag for this chapter. Hux is intensely messed up, here.

_Where am I? What is happening?_

_No. This doesn't happen. Not to me. I am strong, powerful. Raised for greatness beyond compare._

_This simply cannot be._

Hux and Finn would never acknowledge it, not even to themselves, but there was a correlation, of aggressive conditioning, in both of their childhoods. When Finn told Rey “I was raised to do one thing”, Hux could have been standing in his spot, saying the exact same words. Although Finn's programming was obvious, and deliberate, from a young age, Hux's was more subtle. His father had been a general in the Empire, and his father before then. Hux, as the eldest son was expected to follow in his footsteps. From as early as he could remember, he was moulded, coaxed, or even downright threatened, into garnering the ultimate power, to climb the ranks of the First Order, to the highest possible position. His mousy, timid mother was of no consequence. In fact, on more that one occasion, his father would encourage him to actively despise such unimportant people as his mother and brother. These inconsequentials, his father told him, would only serve to detract from the truth of his superiority and ultimate destiny.

The night in which he crept into his parent's bedroom and held the knife, to his father's throat, he had seen horror, in the identical blue eyes. However, he believed that he saw another emotion, as well. Surely, there was understanding there, also? Didn't his father realise, that in order to achieve full greatness, he would have to kill him, as well as the other two?

Or, perhaps he was mistaken. Perhaps, as the father awoke, to the sensation of the steel against his neck, his wife's dead, bloodied body beside himself, he only felt the terror of his impending death. Hux would never know. In the seconds before he slashed the knife, across the flesh, his father did not say a word.

_If I just keep going, then maybe I can find a way out of here._

Hux's father turned out to be right. His family had, indeed, been an obstacle, distracting him away from true greatness. After their deaths, he effortlessly climbed the ranks of the First Order, taking the odd lover here and there. Fulfilling his sexual needs was entertaining but there was no need to complicate matters with any emotional ties.

_Cold... so cold..._

Hux's mind, inexplicably moved away, from the barren landscape, in which he was walking, to his first intimacy, with Kylo. Upon entering his room and closing the door, Kylo had then instantly sunk to the floor, fishing Hux's erection out from his dress trousers, before going to work, with somewhat timid licks, his lips sucking merely the tip, as though unsure how to proceed. Hux sensed inexperience and was not surprised. He had not seen Kylo interact with any other member of the Order, other than to give orders. Hux grabbed his hair and took control, forcing himself further down his mouth and into his throat. Kylo instantly started gagging, so Hux reluctantly allowed him to pull away. Hux then looked down at the one, whom he so openly desired, and realised that he wanted more, than merely his mouth.

“Undress,” Hux had ordered, hastily starting to remove his own clothes.

Kylo complied still staring at him, with his customary opaque expression, as he stripped off the black uniform. As the flesh was revealed, little by little, Hux found himself literally throbbing with anticipation.

Once Kylo had removed everything but for his boots, Hux could wait no longer. He grabbed his arm and propelled him, facedown onto the bed, grabbing the shoes and yanking them off, before pawing through his bedside drawer for the lube.

“You want this?” He had asked, lightly whacking Kylo on the buttock.

“I want this. I want you,” Kylo replied.

Hux had then poured the lube onto his fingers, before slowly entering Kylo's body. He was tight, almost uncomfortably so, causing Hux to ponder if this was his first time. The thought was almost enough to make him wish to take him, hard and fast, but no, he decided he wanted to take his time, to truly enjoy it. Gently stroking Kylo's buttock and thighs, he spent minutes in stretching him, preparing him. He kissed up his spine, across his shoulders, reassuring him.

“You ready?” He said, as he pressed his body against Kylo's. He could feel the trembled strain of the body beneath him, the muscles locked in anticipation. “It's alright,” he kissed his ear.

“Do it,” Kylo said.

Even despite all of his preparations, as he slowly entered his partner, Kylo stiffened even more, his breath quickening. Hux suspected that this was not from pleasure. Bottoming out, Hux lay still, gently touching his hair, kissing his neck. After a while, as Kylo's breath calmed down, he started to move.

That first time, despite his concern for his lover's discomfort, had been overwhelmingly good. Kylo had felt incredibly tight and the occasional moans that issued from his lips, as Hux thrusted, only added to Hux's own pleasure. He did not last long, the thrill of taking such a powerful, stunning man, who clearly had only limited experience (if any) forced a powerful, prolonged orgasm, in which he felt as though he'd emptied every reserve of his semen inside the tight body. Gently pulling out, he had watched the release run down Kylo's thighs and then bent down to lick up the still trembling flesh, trailing his tongue up and over to his entrance, to kiss and lick the area in which he had just been. Hastily throwing Kylo onto his back, he placed his mouth on the erection, moving fast, desperate for him to complete. After a few minutes, he could hear Kylo's breath start to come in raggard pants. Pulling away, Hux grabbed Kylo's erection and jerked it. His lover let out a strangled cry, spurting his release onto his stomach.

Hux had then looked down at the still gasping, slightly flushed face and suddenly realised how little he actually knew about Kylo. He was aware of the rumours of his past but fervently desired more detail. He wanted to know everything; what his favourite childhood memory was, what his secret fears were, the techniques he used, to centre himself when he was feeling overly emotional, what hobbies he enjoyed.

A voice had then entered his mind, his father's, advice given many years before.

“Remember what power is, son. What being a _man_ is. You can have intimacy with whoever you want. Men women. Other species. Doesn't matter. But you don't let someone _take_ you. And don't get emotional. You keep to that and you'll do well.”

Hux had then instantly steeled himself, placed on his mask, once more.

“I must go,” Kylo had then said, rising from the bed. Hux reached a hand out to stop him, having a sudden moment of clarity. Perhaps he didn't need to listen to his father, perhaps he had been, quite simply, a pathetic old garto who didn't know what he was talking about.

_“Stay, it's ok.”_

The words almost came out of his mouth, but then his hand trailed away. Kylo had simply looked at him and then, wordlessly, rose and redressed, exiting the room.

*

Kylo continued to slither, on his stomach, towards the captives.

“What's happening? What's going on?” Finn yelled.

Poe's mind felt as though someone had taken a blowtorch to it, frying a few key synapses. For perhaps the first time in his entire life, he felt utterly bereft of any response, to what was occurring before him.

“Kylo!” Hux shouted, rushing over to the man slithering along the ground. “Kylo what happened?”

_How hurt is he?_

“What has happened to you?” Hux asked, pulling Kylo up to his knees, before grabbing his downturned face, by the chin, and turning it to face him. Seeing Kylo's face, from side-on, Poe realised that the general was right. The scar was healed, his cheek now smooth.

“It is over, Hux. Darth Plageus is most definitely dead. I made sure of it,” Kylo's voice was barely above a whisper.

Poe and Finn caught eyes, the ex-storm-trooper's dark irises echoing his own bewilderment.

_Darth Plageus... the Sith Lord... how can that be?_

“I don’t understand.” Hux said, as he let go of Kylo's face. “What do you mean, he's dead?”

Kylo then turned his head, looked up and caught Poe's eyes, an expression of absolute devastation crossing his face. Poe suddenly realised why it had taken Kylo so long to actually look at him. It was clear, from his half naked torso, that he had already been molested. Kylo had been putting off the inevitable, not wanting to confirm the truth.

“What did you to do him?” Kylo asked. “How did you hurt him?”

“He's nothing, Kylo! Now that your so-called Master is gone, we can-”

Kylo lifted his hand and pointed it at him. For a moment, Poe felt puzzled as to what he was doing. Kylo's hand started shaking, sweat dripping down his temples. It was then that he realised, Kylo was using the Force.

Only it wasn't working.

“You brought someone back, didn't you?” Hux asked. “Who was it?”

Brought someone back? Poe's bafflement only increased. What did any of this mean?

“Answer me! Did you....did you force him?”

“It's ok,” Hux started to run his hands through Kylo's hair. “If the Supreme Leader is dead, then so be it. We can lead the galaxy, together.”

“What did you do to him?”

“You'll be pleased to know that I haven't actually taken your pretty pilot, yet.”

“Let him go, Hux,” Kylo's hands lightly stroked the front of Hux's uniform. “It's me that you should punish, not him. He is nothing to you. Do what you want with me. I won't fight you. Not any more.”

Poe could see Hux's stroking hand freeze in his hair.

“What are you saying?”

“I'm saying you can kill me if you must. Torture me, Ravish me. In return, I ask that you let him go.”

“What the hell?” Finn shouted. “No, no I won't be a party to this!”

At the realisation of what Kylo ( _Ben..._ ) was about to forfeit, Poe finally found his voice.

“I'll take you on, you sick bastard! Let Finn take Kylo out of here, and I'll let you fulfil any sadistic damned fantasy that you have! I'll do anything that you want. You don't need them!”

A word came to the forefront of his mind.

Sacrifice.

If there was a chance that Ben could be brought back ( _maybe he has, already...no, you're daydreaming, Poe_ ), and Finn saved, he would do it, he would make the ultimate sacrifice.

“Is everyone crazy here?” Finn shouted. “No, Poe! Kylo Ren is not worth it!”

“FN2187 is right! Please, Hux! Do what you want with me. I deserve the punishment-”

Kylo's next words then exploded an X-Wing missile, in Poe's brain.

“- for all of the terrible things that I did, when I was a part of your wretched First Order.”

*

Still wandering, lost, the landscape grey, dreary, bereft of any colour. For a moment, Hux stopped, looking about himself, trying to gain an understanding as to what was happening. He had been making love to Kylo. It had been the first time and Kylo had been beautiful and tight and so eager, in his submissiveness. Or perhaps not, perhaps it had been an illusion, in his mind.

Surely, he should be back on the base? What happened? Hux tried to think but his cognitive content had become turbid. It was as though the murky air around him in this desolate place was now infesting his brain.

When he thought back to the base, only one image remained, in his mind.

Kylo Ren, looking back at him, with his usual, inscrutable expression, his lovely dark eyes offering no answers.

“Where am I?” Hux shouted, looking around himself. Dirt, as far as the eye could see. No trees or dunes to enliven the landscape. It looked... familiar, in some way.

“Kylo?”

Nothing.

Images now skirted around the edge of his mind. He saw the pilot now, FN2187. Snoke. Phasma. Each image contained within it a lingering emotion. Fury, doubt, guilt.

He started to walk forward, once more. Surely, if he kept going, in one direction, he would get somewhere.

“What’s happening?”

His heart started hammered in his chest, his breath coming in and out so fast, he could barely get enough oxygen into his lungs. Black dots started to swim around in his field of vision.

_No, don't panic. A disciplined person never panics._

In his mind, Kylo's face appeared once more.

“Kylo, are you there?”

Kylo continued simply to stare at him. He never smiled, Hux suddenly thought, to himself. He never smiled or laughed or told jokes. But then, why did it matter? What did it have to do with his operations for the First Order?

_It mattered because you wanted it to. You wanted him to give in to you. Something that he always refused to do._

Hux recalled telling Kylo that he loved him. In a rare moment of self-evaluation, Hux again stopped walking and thought about that word.

He loved Kylo.

But did he really? Did love involve slapping him, as he'd occasionally see his father enact with his mother, with his brother... with himself? Did love involve berating him? Humiliating him?

As these thoughts came to his mind, he noticed that the landscape suddenly started to imperceptibly become brighter, a hint of yellow twinkling in the sand.

Did love involve threatening him?

Did love involve-?

_No! He deserved everything that I did to him!_

It was as though a light had suddenly been switched off. In and instant, the landscape became grey and dismal, once more.

_Dumb slut did not realise everything that I did for him! The sacrifices that I made!_

Flashes of memory started to intercept his mind. Back in the torture room. Kylo crawling along, on his stomach.

He'd turned.

Hux closed his eyes, ignoring the scythe, slicing his organs, cleaving them into little pieces.

Kylo Ren was definitive. Something had happened, in that room with Snoke, that had made him switch sides.

*

Poe and Finn now locked eyes, Finn's mouth agape. The missile, that had exploded Poe's brain, now left debris zapping about, in aimless fashion. What did this mean? Was this a joke, or a play of Kylo's?

“What joke is this, Kylo?” Hux asked.

_Well, it seems, in all of this craziness, Hux and I are of the same mind!_

“No joke.”

For a moment, Kylo and Hux simply stared at each other.

“No! You're choosing them? You're choosing traitors and thieves? I will kill you!” Hux turned the clearly weakened Kylo over and slammed his fist, into his face, the crunch of fist, colliding with flesh, muscle and bone loud, in the small room.

“Do as you must, I don't care,” Kylo said, as both Poe and Finn shouted out at Hux to stop.

_He's turned? He's truly turned?_

Despite all that was occurring before himself, Poe felt a warmth encircle his heart.

“You scum! You treacherous profogg!” Hux shouted, grabbing Kylo's lightsaber from its holster. and throwing it, across the room. It landed a good four metres in away from them, barely centimetres from Phasma's body. “I will _destroy_ you for this!”

_If only I had the force..._

Poe's mind visualised the face of one he had dedicated his life to.

Leia.

She had seen the light in Kylo, had been insistent that he could be turned.

If she still was alive.

_By the maker, please let her still alive!_

Hux started yanking at his clothes, tearing them, with the brutal efficiency of which he'd torn Poe's.

“This is crazy, stop this!” Finn started jangling his hands again, in frenetic fashion.

Poe could only stare, horrified, as Hux stripped Kylo naked, He could see Kylo holding his hands up, attempting to use the Force, once more.

_Why isn't it working?_

Another thought occurred to Poe, just as disturbing as the first.

_Why isn’t Kylo truly fighting him?_

Even without the use of the Force, Kylo would be a skilled fighter, or surely would easily be able to slice Hux in two, with his lightsaber. And yet, he was doing neither, seeming to be unable, or unwilling, to truly attempt to defend himself.

“You whore! Both of you! I will _brutalise_ you, until you're begging me for death! Then I'll do the same to your pretty pilot!”

Kylo placed his hand up again, in an attempt to use the Force, his face now scarlet with concentration, entire body trembling.

Hux responded by grabbing him and forcing him up and over, onto his knees, grabbing a knife from his boot and placing it on Kylo's throat.

“I thought you said you weren't going to fight me?”

Kylo said nothing, simply looked up, eyes catching Poe's. He caught a hint of a thought, and realised that Kylo was directing it towards his brain.

_…. tell my mother that I'm sorry..._

“I'm going to force you, over and over, until you're bleeding from every orifice, then I'll slit you throat and brutalize the wound!”

Poe had been too horrified by what was occurring with Kylo and Hux, that he wasn't paying any attention to Finn. Indeed, no one was.

Until the clatter of Finn releasing himself from his binds. As fast as lightening, he then swooped forward and picked up Phasma's gun, from the ground, pointing it at Hux.

“Let him go, Hux, you sick bastard!”

Hux laughed. “Oh little storm-trooper wants to play with guns? Pathetic little storm-trooper wants to-”

Finn stepped forward and placed the weapon against Hux's forehead.

“I mean it.”

With his contempt for Finn evident on every line of his face, Hux took the knife off Kylo's throat and backed off. Kylo fell forward and started his slow slither along the ground, once more, towards his lightsaber. Finn fired the blaster. Hux screamed in agony, driven backwards, as the blast hit his shoulder, spraying blood in an arc around himself.

“You shot me!” Hux's face had turned deathly pale.

“That was for Polo,” Finn said, retrieving him of his own weapon, before rushing back to Poe.

As his binds were undone, Poe felt blessed relief, despite his muscles still stinging from the strain. He shrugged his own boxers and trousers back on, feeling somewhat stupefied. Too much had happened and he didn't feel as though he could entirely process it.

“Are you ok?” Finn was saying. “Damn, Poe are you-?”

Behind him, Poe noticed Hux dive and grab Kylo's lightsaber off the ground, before rising and switching it on. Finn started to turn, as Poe plucked the gun, from his hands, aiming it at Hux.

The general kicked the still slithering Kylo onto his back, raising the lightsaber over his head.

“I will _kill_ you, Kylo, for your betrayal!”

He started to bring the lightsaber down, in a fast motion, towards Kylo's chest.

Poe pulled the trigger. A hole appeared in Hux's forehead and the back of his his brain was blown out, the lightsaber falling to the floor, as Hux, himself, collapsed to the ground, moving no more.

“Sorry just grabbing your weapon, like that that,” Poe said, feeling dazed, as he handed Finn back the weapon.

“That's quite alright. Damn!”

Poe rushed over and helped the very loose-limbed Kylo to a sitting position, while Finn started gathering up his torn clothing.

“Have you truly turned, or is this some kind of trick?” Poe asked, resisting the urge to touch his too pale, stricken face, to offer some form of comfort.

“I...” Kylo then broke down, sobbing.

“I didn't see it. Did he... did he hurt you... you know... did he actually...?” Finn said, handing him his torn clothing.

“No... no you saved me...” Kylo choked. “We need to leave here. With Plageus gone, the whole structure will collapse.”

“Rey...” Finn said.

“She's alive,” Kylo replied. Watching him, Poe resisted the urge, to kiss the tears still glistening on his face.

_What is wrong with me?_

“What about Leia?”

Kylo paused. “Yes, she... she is alive...”

“Why are you so weak?” Finn asked, frowning, as he grabbed Kylo's pants and started pulling them up his legs. Kylo initially flinched, before realising what he was doing, then gently pushed his hands away and pulled them up himself, covering his nakedness.

Poe could resist no longer. He reached up and gently ran a finger down his cheek, wiping the line of water off his face. Something was different, in his face, a incandescence in his dark eyes that was not there previously.

“What happened, to make you turn?”

“I wish I hadn't...” Kylo said. “The pain... it's so great. I feel as though my heart is being torn to pieces. How can one feel such pain and live? You should have let Hux kill me.”

“Yes, thank you, Poe,” Finn sounded genuinely annoyed. “For saving my life. Here, you put this on him.” He handed Poe Kylo's torn tunic.

“He didn't...” Kylo's trembling hand reached up, hovering over Poe's lip but not touching him.

“He was touching me all over. It made me sick. But he didn't... Someone used the Force...”

Kylo lifted his arms, allowing Poe to drop the ripped item over his head and arms.

“Was it you?”

This time, Kylo's hand did touch him, lightly on his cheek.

“I couldn't let him hurt you. I'm sorry I couldn't do it sooner.”

_Leia and I were both right about the light overcoming the dark._

Even with that revelation, Poe still felt stunned at Kylo's change.

Finn handed Kylo his lightsaber. For a moment, he simply stared at it.

“This... thing, that has been the source of untold suffering for so many... I can barely look at it...” Kylo turned away, holding it out, towards Poe.

Poe caught Finn's eyes. _What has happened to him?_

“Take it,” Poe said, gently pressing it back against Kylo's chest. “It's yours.”

“Yes, you're right. I must... bear the penance for my actions, mustn't I?” Kylo said, the tears running freely down his face, once more.

Poe reached up and placed his hand over Kylo's. “I don't know what has happened, but-”

“We need to go,” Finn said.

Both him and Poe helped Kylo up, placing his arms around their shoulders, as they dragged him from the room, which started to shake around them.

“My aircraft... its just outside...” Kylo said. “Are you able to fly it?”

“Of course I can fly it,” Poe said, slightly miffed that Kylo would even ask. “Damn it, Kylo I thought you were meant to be smart.”

“Oh yes, I forgot that, by your own words, you are the most _brilliant_ pilot ever to have flown, in the entire _galaxy_.”

Poe momentarily found himself smiling, at Kylo ( _Ben_ ) 's characteristic dryness, even despite everything that had occurred. Swiftly, the good humour was wiped from his face.

“I need to know. The others, are they safe?”

Kylo closed his eyes. Poe had the distinct impression that he was finally able to use the Force.

“Yes, Rey, Leia and Chewbacca are just entering the atmosphere of the planet, now. We must hurry.”

“What about Luke?”

Kylo shook his head. Poe felt as though a knife had been stabbed into his stomach. The great warrior, the one that Leia had been searching for, all this time. It didn't seem just.

“What happened?” Finn asked.

“No time,” Kylo said.

“Why isn't the Force working all that well for you?”

“Because I am too emotionally scattered right now. We must hurry.” They rushed out of the room, to utter chaos, storm-troopers rushing this way and that. No one paid them any attention, as they dragged Kylo down the corridor, to the front of the rectangular building.

“What do you mean, emotionally scattered? I mean how does it work?” Finn asked.

Kylo did not reply. Poe looked at the lax face and body, understanding why.

“He's fallen unconscious,” Poe said.

“Oh great!” Finn replied. They doubled their steps, rushing out the front where, true to Kylo's word, his distinctive craft sat. Poe and Finn dragged him up on board, swiftly locating the sickbay area, where they deposited him on the cot bed.

“Alright, Finn. Keep and eye on him, I'll get us off the planet.” He went to rush off, then stopped, turned back. “Thank you, Finn. You saved our lives.” His eyes flicked down to the unconscious Kylo... _Ben_... before he raced to the cockpit and sat into the pilot's seat.

It was a remarkably easy vehicle to manoeuvre. He received the distinct impression that Kylo wasn't a particularly confident flier.

As the planet started to crumble around them, he shot the craft up into the air, already tapping in the co-ordinates for the Resistance Base.

*  
Hux collapsed to his knees, as the memories all came back to him. Somehow, he could still think, could still talk and hear and feel and smell. How was this possible? How could these things be true when he was-

He groaned, crying out in agony.

When he was dead.

“Please, don't let me be dead.”

The pilot, Poe, the blast that had felled him came from him. Now, him and Kylo were free to be together.

“Is this a punishment? Why is this happening?”

Hux could not bring himself to feel any remorse for molesting the pilot. He was a slut, a whore who had taken Kylo from him.

But Kylo himself...

Hux gasped, utterly astonished at his own behaviour. He had almost... he had been committed to ravishing Kylo. He clutched at his stomach, feeling mildly nauseated at the thought. The grey started to lighten, once more, the specks of yellow, returning.

_No, I could never... I can't believe I would even consider hurting him in such a way. I feel sick._

Imperceptible blue started sparkling through the yellow.

_I can’t believe I... and with wanting to murder him as well. I must have been mad!_

Yes, the scenery before him was definitely lighter.

But then, if he had murdered Kylo, then they would be together, right now.

Instantly, the light went back to grey, once more.

A voice sounded, startling him from his thoughts.

“Hux you bastard!” She screamed.

Stumbling towards him, in the dim, murky greyness, was Phasma. She still wore her armour but was missing the helmet, revealing her blonde hair and strong features.

“You killed me!”

“And then Poe Dameron killed me,” Hux replied. “So it's not like we can be killed again.”

So, stuck in this dismal grey afterlife, with Captain Phasma. He supposed there were worse people that he could be stuck there, with.

“So how do we get out of here?”

“We're dead. I think that's the point.”

“There has to be a way.”

Hux thought of the moments, in which the grey was suddenly interspersed with light.

“Self awareness, I guess. An acceptance of past wrongs. All that Jedi nonsense.”

Phasma sighed. “We're going to be stuck here a long time, then aren't we?” There was a grim smile, on her face.

“Look, with your death, you gave me no choice. You were about to kill my captive!”

“Who you only wanted alive because of his connection to Kylo Ren.”

Hux never doubted Phasma's intelligence.

“You were crazy about him, weren't you? Kylo Ren? To the extent that it got you killed. Stranded us both here,” she gestured around themselves.

“Well, I'm hoping there's a consolation. If Kylo Ren dies, then he'll be stuck here too.”

Phasma shook her head. “Maybe not.”

Hux thought of Kylo's last stand, attempting to save the pilot, offering his own life, for his.

Yes, he suspected that Phasma may be right about that.

Tbc....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be Kylo's pov, starting from when he arrived at the base, with Snoke/Plageus, in time to hear that Luke and Rey have been captured :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to all who are reading/commenting/kudo'ing!

With the supreme confidence of one who knew that he was fated to survive, to battle his nemeses, Kylo flew his command shuttle straight through the fierce X-Wing and tie-fighter battle occurring above the planet. Despite the shots being fired all around him, from both sides, not a single projectile even scratched the surface paint of his vessel.

Moving below the catastrophic noise, of tie-fighters zipping through the air and firing, the far more ungainly X-Wings of the Resistance firing back, and horrified screams, coupled with exploding metal, from both sides, Kylo concentrated on the landing pad, situated just in front of the main base, on the surface of the planet. He was determined to make a smooth landing, at least for Plageus' sake. His Master, who sported wisdom over physical strength, would not appreciate being thrown about the cockpit, if he slammed into the ground, with too much impact.

The ferocious battle going on above their heads was of no concern to him. Kylo's only priority, now, involved the information that had just come through the communications radio.

Three craft, containing Resistance members had been downed, on the planet's surface; one of them was the Millennium Falcon.

Luke Skywalker and his daughter, Rey, had been captured and were being sent to the main temple room, to await Kylo and Plageus' arrival. Leia, Chewbacca and Phasma were alive but missing. Storm-troopers were searching for them, in the area in which their craft had crash landed.

Poe Dameron and FN2187... Finn... had also been captured.

Not that Kylo was in the least worried about them. No, he told himself, they were not his priority.

Luke and Rey, the remaining Jedi, were the only two, who truly held his focus, now.

He gently parked the shuttle, focusing on controlling his emotions, on zoning out the screams of horror, combined with the cheers of the victors, from the battle above him. For a moment, his mind, completely shut off from Plageus' attempted penetration, went back to something he'd said to Poe Dameron, in the dream-that-wasn't-a-dream.

_“The great, handsome, brave pilot, who whoops and hollers with glee, when he kills people from the Order.”_

It occurred to him, that Poe Dameron's construction, in his mind, of villains and heroes, allowed easy justification, for celebrating their deaths.

_Perhaps there isn't the idea of the Resistance or the First Order, as being either good or bad. Perhaps there is no 'dark' or 'light'. Perhaps, ultimately, there is only grey._

No, he quickly shied away from that particular line of thought.

_I will succeed, grandfather._

Comforted by that new thought, he switched off the console, before turning to Plageus, who was, in turn, staring at him intently.

“I am proud of you, Kylo. I know the past three weeks have been difficult. Today will prove even _more_ difficult. But we will succeed.”

“I have no doubt of your wisdom,” Kylo deferred, earning a smile, from the ancient lips.

“I have a surprise for you, a present for you hard work.”

Kylo slightly flinched as Plageus touched his cheek, running his gnarled finger along the scar. He felt an peculiar burning, where the nail dragged down. Plageus then moved his hand away, indicating the craft's left side mirror. Kylo looked into it and gasped, at his reflection. Though he had never been a vain man, he could not help but feel rather pleased at the sudden smoothness of his cheek, the scar now completely disappeared.

“Thank you, master,” he said, now running his own finger along the healed flesh.

“Come, we now go to our glorious destiny,” Plageus said, in a firm tone.

Kylo stood up, reaching over, to press the button, on the main pilot console, to lower the exit ramp. Once he knew that it had been successfully engaged, he swiftly moved through the cabin, to the craft's entrance and then down the ramp. At the bottom, he tilted his head, to look at the dark, long upper windows of the rather blocky, rectangular building, certain that Hux would, in turn, be looking down at him, from the base's main operations centre. Soon, Hux would go to the torture room, where Poe and FN2187 were being held.

Even though they were on either sides of the battle, Kylo accepted a deep respect ( _more than-_ ) for the pilot ( _-that. He is the only one who-_ ) and thus did not wish ( _-truly understands you._ ) for him to be seriously injured.... or worse.

_If he touches him..._

He heard the light patter of Plageus' feet, coming down the ramp behind him, and so continued across the wide path, to the front entrance of the base.

As soon as they reached the foyer, inside, Kylo took a moment, to ponder who designed this monstrosity. Kylo usually had no care, when it came to the aesthetics of buildings (fine art and poetry were more his style) but this was all jarring angles and bright colours, intermixed with the usual black aesthetic of the First Order. His mind suddenly went to Poe,being marched through this fruit salad looking interior. The pilot would, undoubtedly, have made a strong quip, to describe it.

_Or perhaps he didn't. He's about to be tortured, raped and murdered. He probably had more on his mind._

Feeling as though his stomach was being squeezed through a narrow vise, Kylo started to walk through the base, continuing, effortlessly now, to shield his mind, from Plageus, while using his powers, to search for Poe.

_Sour sweat and engine oil._

Rough shackles around his wrists and ankles, cutting into them, as he struggled. Whispers of emotion; anger, frustration, fear.

It seemed that Poe was unmolested, for now.

As Kylo ventured further into the base, with Plageus following, he vowed to keep checking in on Poe. If Hux did decide to make a move against _his_ pilot, then Kylo would be ready.

Walking through the countless corridors, it occurred to him, that it may have been easier if Jedi skills included a form of teleportation. Jedi ghosts, from what he gathered, had that ability. On second thoughts, he decided teleportation wasn't such a good idea, after all, if it meant one was dead. Yes, he decided, from that point-of-view, he was rather happy to walk.

They finally reached the entrance to the temple room. Kylo opened the doors, to reveal a vast hall, with tapestries hanging off the walls, detailing the might of the First Order. In the middle, sat a small but intricately carved golden throne, above a set of marble stairs. This was where Plageus would sit, as Supreme Ruler of the galaxy, once the Resistance were destroyed, once and for all.

Standing before the chair, with their hands cuffed, were Luke and Rey.

The last time he had seen his uncle, had been the day before his ultimate betrayal. Luke had taken him aside and spoken to him, asked him if everything was alright. Kylo had faked a cheery smile, visualising a flowing mountain stream, as he replied, rather enthusiastically, in the affirmative.

The next morning, by the time Kylo awoke, Luke had left, to go on an errand for the Republic. Deciding that it was time, Kylo gathered his followers, telling them that they were ready to move past Luke's feeble teachings. They were destined for more. The other students were given an ultimatum- join us, or die. More than a few took the second option.

Luke had aged, in the years that had passed but still held that calm aura, about him. Beside him, Rey was staring at Kylo, with clear rage in her eyes.

“Undo their cuffs and leave us,” Plageus said to the two storm-troopers, standing slightly behind Luke and Rey. Everyone was silent, as the storm-troopers did as Plageus ordered, and then left the room, the door slamming behind them.

For a moment, no one talked. A dim memory of a conversation came back to Kylo.

_“So, who talks first?”_

Rey brought out her lightsaber, holding it up. Kylo then followed her lead. They just stood, posed, the weapons in hand but not switched on.

“Anger, I sense anger, good, good,” Plageus said.

“Ben,” Luke said, to Kylo. “It was my fault, your fall to the Darkside.”

“No, I made my choice,” Kylo said.

“He is manipulating you, can't you see? Using you for your power.” Luke said. “Once he kills me and Rey, then he will kill you, too. He wants all Jedi dead, dark or light. That includes you.”

_Manipulating me, using me for my power... the same words Han Solo said..._

Kylo felt the usual pained jolt, at the thought of his father.

_He means nothing to me._

“You may as well give up now, and beg our forgiveness. Maybe we will be merciful, before your deaths,” Plageus said.

Rey now switched on her lightsaber. “You are the one that will beg for mercy.”

Kylo switched on his own lightsaber and they both charged, at the same time, slamming lightsaber on lightsaber, the light sizzling from the force of their strokes together. Kylo could see that Rey was enraged and fearful, not in total control of her emotions and hence, while technically able to hold her own, in the fight, was already starting to be driven back, towards Plageus. He heard the sound of two lightsabers being switched on, followed by the zap, of lightsaber on lightsaber and caught, out of the corner of his eye, Luke and Plageus now fighting, in a blur of action. Plageus laughed and swung his lightsaber towards Rey, who parried it aside. He then continued to swing at both Luke and Rey, forcing her to be defending herself against Plageus, as she was attacking Kylo. Kylo had to admit to some pride. Rey was really putting on a good fight; she duck, wove, flipped, cartwheeled in the air and even resorted to kicking Kylo in the chest, so hard that he was flung a good three metres back, feeling momentarily winded. It was clear that Luke had enhanced her physical fighting skills.

Then it happened.

Later on, Kylo would go over this event again and again in his mind, trying to determine the exact moment, when Plageus gained the upper hand, on Luke. It simply didn't seem right, the great Luke Skywalker, being taken down so easily.

Plageus swung the lightsaber high, and brought it down, towards Luke's chest. Luke had his lightsaber hand out to the side, leaving him open. After Plageus' weapon made contact with his body, he crumpled to the ground and disappeared, leaving merely his cloak behind.

For a moment, Kylo and Rey froze, both staring at the tattered grey cloak on the ground. For Kylo's part, he felt as though he had just been walloped, hard in the stomach.

_No... surely, it couldn't be that simple. He couldn't just be... gone..._

His thoughts went, inexorably, to Poe. He used the Force, to search for his mind.

Poe's heart was racing fast, too fast, his breath shallow and rapid. An unwelcome hand stroked his hair, his flesh.

_“I will now take you. Your friend here can watch.”_

Kylo's loud denial, in his own mind, corresponded with Rey's shout, in response to the demise of Luke.

“No!”

Rey suddenly abandoned him, to fight Plageus.

“No no no!” The clang of lightsaber, after clang of lightsaber.

Kylo was no longer in the fight. He no longer cared about anything but protecting Poe, stopping him from the terrible fate that Plageus had condemned him. He focused all of his intent, on stilling Hux.

_Please let it work, please let it work..._

He concentrated so hard that his brain felt as though a hole had been drilled right through the centre, ripping the tissue apart. In his mind, he saw Hux get thrown across the room, hit the wall, and then go still.

_I think... I did it..._

Kylo slipped down to his knees, before forcefully picking himself up and rejoining the fight. Rey was now engaged in battle again with both Kylo and Plageus.

“I will kill you both!”

“Good!” Plageus said. “Feel that anger! Let the emotions overcome you!”

Tears were streaming down Rey's cheeks. Kylo's mind was suddenly drawn back to the time he went searching for her, on Jakku. He had found her, before the other Knights, hidden in an alcove of a downed Star Destroyer, her tiny body wracked with tremors, with gasping sobs.

“Please, please...” The child had cried. He could only recall the pity that he had felt for her, the odd sense of protectiveness. It had been the same, when he had captured her, and taken her aboard the first Starkiller Base. He had truly wished for her to suffer no harm, that time, had he not?

In regards to the lightsaber battle with her, on the Starkiller Base, he was hurt, emotionally fragile. Even so, if he truly had wished to, he could have easily overpowered her. Yes, thinking back now, he was certain of it. She was only just beginning to recognise her powers, whereas he was accomplished.

Kylo drew back, confused, pointing his lightsaber a little towards the ground.

_What's happening to me?_

The light, beckoning.

_Ben...._

“No!” He had dissolved that, with the death of Han Solo, had destroyed every last ounce of light within himself.

_And Rey?_

Feeling as though his soul was being torn in two, he screamed in agony, as he clanged his lightsaber with Rey's, the handle end cutting into her arm. She yelped in shock-

-The door burst open and Leia and Chewbacca came in. Leia reached up her hand, and Kylo's lightsaber switched off and spun, out of his hand, and into hers. As she moved into the room, Rey and Plageus stopped fighting, to watch.

“What do you expect to do?” Plageus said. “You are not trained. You will be killed, just like the others.”

Chewbacca stood just inside the doorway, a weapon, in hand, that he had not fired, yet. Kylo suspected that this was on Leia's orders.

Seeing his mother pass him, Kylo (Ben) felt untold pain unlike he had ever felt. It was as though his very heart had exploded into little pieces. The excruciation was so strong, it drove him to his knees,causing him to gasp at the shock of it. He recalled Han Solo, the light touch on his face, before plunging to his death.

_No, I can't I can't-_

“You fool!” Plageus said, as Leia moved closer to him. He reached out his own lightsaber and, before Kylo or Rey could react, plunged it, deep into her chest. Rey screamed again. Plageus then kicked Leia's now fallen body away from him. She went tumbling down the stairs, to land at the base.

Kylo simply stood, a moment, trying to comprehend what had just happened.

In his mind, he saw Leia, as a child, looking down at him with such warmth, he saw her lift him into his arms, he saw her place a flower behind her ear and dance merrily in a field of bright colours. She had laughed with him, had encouraged his interest in poetry, had been understanding, when he had expressed fear over his own powers.

“I'll kill you!” Rey's voice, followed by Plageus's laughter. The sizzle of lightsaber, on lightsaber started again.

The fight before him, grew frenetic.

“Yes! That is it, my child!”

“I will kill you! I'll kill you!” Rey was shouting.

Kylo found he wasn't even focused on Plageus, not any more.

“Kylo Ren, as I have foreseen, is not strong enough to be my true apprentice. But you can be! Take his place, my child, Rey, give in to the Darkside.”

Rey's scream was of pure rage but also fear, hurt.

No, they did not matter. All that he cared about, in that moment ,was getting to _her_.

Kylo rushed to Leia, pulling her body over, to face him. Her eyes caught his, the same shade as his own.

“Ben...” She reached up, running his hand down his cheek, the exact same way that Han Solo did, before his death.

_After you drove your lightsaber into him._

The hand dropped. Her eyes became still, unfocused.

“No no no no no no...”

Behind them, Chewbacca let out a loud roar. Ben, pulling Leia's body up to hold against his own, heard the blaster go off, and looked up, in time, to see Chewbacca get driven back, by Plageus's use of the Force, to tumble through the doors and slam into the wall outside, before he lay down, motionless, on the ground.

_First Han Solo and now..._

_“I know he loved you, right till the end. Even after you stabbed him, he still loved you,” Poe had said._

“No no, I can't-”

Ben closed his eyes and focused. _Not her, not her._ He felt his life essence, the connection to the Force.

_She will live._

He placed his hand on her chest and concentrated. Sweat poured down his face, dripping down his entire body. He felt his blood, boiling in his veins, his head cracking open, tearing itself apart. Beneath him, the large gash in Leia's body was starting to heal, to come together. He concentrated on bringing his life essence, merging it with her body. Every breath felt like a mighty endeavour, each heart beat of his own needing too much effort, to snap the chambers closed and force his blood around his body.

Then he felt it. The chambers in her heart snapping. Once. Twice. Three times. The blood being pushed out of the ventricles and into her lungs, around her body. The pace was erratic at first, slow but then grew faster. Her chest stared to rise and fall, as the diaphragm muscles started to realise that they needed to work, to bring oxygen, into her body. Her eyes fluttered open.

“Ben...”

“Mum...” He said, tears cascading down his face.

She reached up, touching his cheek. Looking down at her face, he became utterly undone, simply shattered.

Ben felt a sudden opening, inside of him, as though a window had been flung open, scattering away the darkness, beckoning the light in. He closed his eyes, allowing it to fill him, to cleanse his soul with its purity.

His life with Plageus had been a lie, he realised that now. He had allowed himself to be manipulated. And for what? His father was dead, by his own hand. His mother. Luke Skywalker, also now dead.

“Rey,” Ben whispered to his mother, who nodded. He took his lightsaber back out of her hand.

With great effort, he forced himself into a standing position.

He had not seen the ferocious battle between Plageus and Rey. It was clear, however, who the victor was. Plageus was lying on the ground, with Rey standing over him, lightsaber pointed at his chest.

“You cannot kill me!” Plageus said.

Rey raised the lightsaber.

Ben's mind went to himself, to everything that he had been a part of, the monster that he had become, because he had allowed himself to go to the Darkside.

He would not allow this for Rey. If she now brought that lightsaber down-

With the knowledge that he was already weakened, by bringing Leia back, Ben concentrated more than he'd ever concentrated in his life. The lightsaber whipped out of Rey's hand and landed in his. She turned and looked at him, from her expression, utter surprise now overcoming any fury.

“You know you cannot kill me, Kylo!” Plageus said, as Ben slowly started to walk towards them. Every step felt as though his body weighed a tonne.

“I will destroy you!” Ben said, handing Rey back the lightsaber and turning on his own, and then driving it into Plageus's chest.

“You cannot kill me!”

Ben thought of all the lies that this man had told him, all of the manipulation, to cleave him to his side. He grabbed the frail body and pulled him closer, focusing not on his life force but his death force. If he could bring about life, then surely he could bring about death too.

“What are you doing?” Plageus said.

Ben looked into his eyes, and saw aeons of time, but also saw vulnerability, fear... the fear of his own demise.

“You're fearful of death! You should be.”

“Stop this, Kylo!” Plageus screamed.

Ben continued to stare into his eyes, focusing, his brain weakened, so fatigued that with every breath he was practically passing out, but he knew he must do this. He thought of all of the ones who had died, for this man. The billions on the planets destroyed by the first Starkiller Base, Han Solo. Luke Skywalker.

Ben thought of Han Solo's love for him, even at his death, and felt the light move through him. Plageus started to scream.

“No, no!”

The light bathed him, cleansing every particle of his cells, before directing out, towards his ex-master. Ben realised, in this light, that he no longer wished for Plageus's death but for him to be saved, to understand that severity of his actions, to want to make atonement.

Only the light, which should have brought Plageus towards it, was having the opposite effect, as he rallied against it. Ben thought of his own former anguish and fear, and let the man go, stepping back.

“I will never! I will never succumb! I would rather die!”

A dark cloud suddenly swiftly enveloped Plageus, covering his entire body and Ben, on instinct, jumped back, even further, as Rey did the same.

As the blast sounded, so loud that he felt his aching ears ringing, Ben and Rey were thrown back, to land at the base of the stairs. He felt something land on him and realised that it was part of the ceiling. Looking at his arms and hands, he noticed what appeared to be a vast quantity of a soot type substance. A glance at Rey, confirmed that she was also covered, from head to toe, in the substance. She was staring back at him, clearly as baffled as he was.

Then, the rather horrifying conclusion came to him. The substance that was covering them, was the remains of Darth Plageus.

The blast that they had heard was Plageus exploding. This soot type substance was the last remnant of the Sith Lord, who would have rather died, than be subject to the fullness of the light.

“He's dead, isn't he?” Rey asked Ben, as both started to wipe their faces and hands free of the soot.

“I think so, yes.”

For a moment, both could only stare at each other. Really, what was there to say?

Ben then turned to Leia, who was now standing, looking at him with an expression of intense love and relief. Behind her, he could see Chewbacca moving swiftly forward, into the room.

“Mum!” He suddenly swooned to the ground, feeling himself momentarily black out.

“Ben!” He heard footsteps, her running towards him, felt someone place their hands around his waist, attempting to bring him up. Rey, it had to be. There was a vast rumbling and then the hands released. Ben looked up, in time to see the ceiling start to come down, and jumped to the side, landing, rather painfully, on his left hip.

“Ben! Ben! Are you there?” Leia shouted, as Chewbacca roared.

Ignoring his throbbing pelvis, Ben, looked about himself. A vast amount of debris had fallen between himself and the other three.

“I'm alright! Go, save yourselves!” More debris was starting to come down. It was the destruction of the first Starkiller Base all over again.

“Ben, we'll-”

“Save yourselves or we'll all die!”

“I'm not losing you again!” Leia shouted.

“You won't. But you must leave. There's someone... there's someone I must save...”

Thankfully, the door that lead to the corridor closest to the torture room, was on his side.

“Poe...” Leia said.

Thicker chunks of the ceiling were falling down, now.

“Go now!” Ben shouted.

His mind was now only on moving forward, on getting out of that room, out of the corridor and to Poe. He stared to walk, then collapsed to the ground,crawling. His arm and leg muscles refused to co-operate.

_Come on, come on..._

Inch by inch, little by little, he forcibly propelled himself out of the room and along the corridor, breathing through the excruciation of the flex and stretch of his overly-worked muscles. The entire place was shaking, now, swaying from side to side. Storm-troopers rushed past him, paying him no heed.

_So much for loyalty._

After what seemed like an aeon, he managed to reach the door of the torture room, thankful that it was merely hanging on its hinge. He launched himself forward, so weak, now that he could only slither along, on his stomach.

“What's happening? What's going on?” He heard FN2187 _(Finn... Poe calls him Finn_ ) yell. Poe would be in this room, too, but Kylo found that he couldn't look up, too cowardly, to confirm what Hux had done to him.

“Kylo!” Hux's voice, the sound of footsteps. “Kylo what happened?” He felt Hux's arm around him, pulling him up. “What happened to you?”

He suddenly found himself looking directly into Hux's blue eyes.

“It is over, Hux. Darth Plageus is most definitely dead. I made sure of it.”

Disbelief showed in the pale irises.

“I don't understand. What do you mean, he's dead?”

Ben steeled himself, then turned to look up at the torture rack. Instantly, he felt a knife, lodge deep into his stomach. Poe's clothing was torn, his legs bare. At his feet, lay the clear dead body of Phasma. Ben's curiosity as to what had happened to her, was overcome by his fear of what had happened to Poe.

“What did you do to him? How did you hurt him?”

_If he actually... no, no am I too late?_

He lifted his hand, willing the Force, urging it to smash the insect before him, this sick beast of a man, to close up his throat, until he was purple in the face, until he was choking to death on the blood of his crushed larynx.

Only, despite his efforts, nothing was occurring. Hux was simply staring back at him, looking slightly amused.

“You'll be pleased to know that I haven't actually taken your pretty pilot, yet.”

Ben looked into his face and believed him. If he had ravished Poe, then surely he would have been more liable to brag, to taunt him, for the destruction of his lover. He reached forward, barely having the strength to even stroke Hux. Ben had no desire to even touch the man, but he was willing to give himself, his own body, to save Poe. If Hux wished to hurt him, even violate him, then so be it.

As long as Poe was safe, he did not care, any more.

Only Poe, never one to be underestimated, demonstrated his usual ability to undertake an action that Ben could not have anticipated.

“I'll take you on, you sick bastard! Let Finn take Kylo out of here, and I'll let you fulfil any sadistic damned fantasy that you have! I'll do anything that you want. You don't need them!” Poe shouted.

_No, no no no! What is Poe doing?_

“No, Poe! Kylo Ren is not worth it!”

_Yes, the ex-storm-tropper and I are in agreeance, on this._

“FN2187 is right! Please, Hux! Do what you want with me. I deserve the punishment, for all of the terrible things that I did, when I was a part of your wretched First Order.”

He felt blessed relief wash over himself, to say it out loud, to verify it. Yes, he had made the decision, was now actively eschewing the Darkside, welcoming the light. For his mother. For Poe.

With the decision came sudden, paralysing pain. Now that the struggle was gone, he was left with his own guilt, his own crushing awareness of the agony that he had wrought others. It was more agonised, than three Starkiller super-weapons aimed right at himself.

_No I can't I can't..._

It was worse than the training with Darth Plageus, in which his entire body felt as though it had been torn apart, then reassembled back together again. He felt the horror of every single death he had failed to prevent, felt the slash of his own lightsaber, deep into his chest, as he had enacted with Han Solo.

Vaguely, he felt Hux beat him, start to tear at this clothes, and welcomed the distraction from the pain. In a dim panic, he tried to use the Force again, to no avail, before giving in. Perhaps Hux would be his saviour, after all. He was threatening to violate him, to kill him. He could feel the cold steel of the blade against his throat.

_Yes, let Hux take whatever he wants from me. I deserve it._

He looked up to Poe, beautiful, brave man who tried so hard to save him. It was too late for him. Perhaps for all of them.

_Tell Leia I'm sorry._

At that point, FN2187... Finn suddenly rose to action, managed to break his chains.

The one who had gone against his programming, had defected to the other side. Perhaps, a part of Ben always knew that it would end this way, that FN2187... Finn... would be the one to ultimately save him. Perhaps this was why he had noticed the ex-storm-trooper on Jakku, feeling an odd sense of recognition, that clearly went beyond merely what was occurring, at the time.

As soon as Finn forced Hux to back off, from Ben, he instantly slumped down, once more, slowly inching towards his lightsaber. Perhaps he could make it, perhaps he-

Only, Hux got there, first. He felt himself being turned over, onto his back and looked up, to Hux with the lightsaber held up, a maniacal glint in his eyes.

“I will _kill_ you, Kylo, for you betrayal!”

Ben closed his eyes, accepting his fate.

_At least Leia will live._

A shot rang out and he opened his eyes, to discover Hux lying dead, on the floor before himself.

He considered how he felt about this and realised that at the main forefront of his scattered emotions, was relief.

_Poe is safe._

Suddenly, said pilot and Finn were surrounding him, enveloping him with the smell that he would forever associate with Poe; jet engine fuel and sour sweat.

“Have you truly turned, or is this some kind of trick?” Poe asked.

“I...” Ben said, then found himself sobbing uncontrollably, barely able to look into the angelic face. How to even begin to describe his anguish, the realisation of what he had become? He felt dirty, as though he could bathe for months, and never wash off the slime.

_There can be no punishment apt enough, for what I've done._

He vaguely answered their questions, concerning what had happened, allowing them to help him redress.

Poe's finger came up and trailed down his cheek, feeling light, non-threatening.

“What happened, to make you turn?”

“I wish I hadn't...” Ben said. “The pain... it's so great. I feel as though my heart is being torn to pieces. How can one feel such pain and live? You should have let Hux kill me.”

There was no anger or reproach in the lovely dark eyes, only understanding and warmth. He longed to take his lips in a kiss, to hold him, be reassured by his warmth, his innate strength.

_But Hux... did he...?_

“He was touching me all over. It made me sick. But he didn't... Someone used the Force...”

Ben felt sickened, by the thought of Hux's ill-attention towards Poe but sated by the thought that he had not, at least, been definitive in his ravishment.

Finn then came up, placing his own lightsaber in his hand.

The instrument that had struck down Lor San Tekka, that had delivered the fatal blow to Han Solo.

_“I feel torn apart,” he had said to his father. “Will you help me?”_

He felt revolted by it, tried to hand it back to Poe, only Poe refused to take it.

When he had killed before, he had only seen terror, in his victim's eyes. But Han Solo was different. Before he fell off the bridge, into the chasm, he had seen love, in his father's eyes. Betrayal, yes but also understanding.

Yes, this was apt, Ben told himself. His guilt and shame was his to suffer, and his to suffer alone.

A warm hand covered the one holding the lightsaber.

“I don't know what has happened but-” Poe began, only to be cut off by Finn.

“We need to go.”

Ben, by now, felt too exhausted to move, to even feel humiliated, at the fact that he was being dragged out of the room, and down the corridors, by the other two. The collapse of the planet was imminent, the absolute death of such a powerful Sith enough to cause a vacuum of such severity, it would suck all in its path. They had to get out of there, as fast as they could. As he was swiftly hauled through the total chaos of storm-trooopers running back and forth, Ben felt himself start to black out. He replied to Finn and Poe's questions, barely even aware of what he was saying.

Finally, he overcame his body's last reservoir of strength and succombed to the welcoming darkness.

*

When he awoke, he was in the bright, decidedly more calming blue of what was surely the sick bay of the Resistance Base, a smiling, yet tearful Leia Organa before him

Tbc...


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who are reading/kudoing/commenting.
> 
> This chapter is particularly angsty (warning for suicide attempt) but also has a lot of gratuitous smut!
> 
> Enjoy!

As soon as the landing ramp of Ben's command shuttle touched the ground, Poe and Finn came rushing down, carrying the still unconscious man between them. Poe glanced at the half a dozen or so aircraft on the landing strip and felt a dagger slice into his heart, with keen sharpness. Most of the twenty or so surviving pilots sat by their landed aircraft, looking utterly shocked. He managed to find a smidgen of sympathy for Miles, who was openly sobbing, in Jess's embrace. The absolute silence was only broken by the occasional outburst of sobbing. Even the native birds ceased in their usual twitters, as though to pay respect, to the many fallen.

As they reached the end of the ramp and stepped onto the tarmac, two Resistance members, carrying a stretcher, intercepted them.

“Alright, we've got it! We've got it!” Poe said.

Both him and Finn gently placed Ben onto the tattered material of the stretcher. Poe didn't enjoy snapping at his comrades, but the two men's attempts to 'help' involved getting in the way and, in his mind, delaying precious time. Thankfully, the men backed off at Poe's tone, allowing him to grab the foot end of the stretcher. Finn went to grab the head end, only to have Chewbacca suddenly appear and growl, raising a paw.

“Here, fine, take it, take it!” Finn shouted, relinquishing his hold of the stretcher to the wookie. Both him and Poe then concurrently lifted it up.

Only then, as Finn started moving towards her, did Poe notice Rey. She stood in front of the Millennium Falcon, parked directly beside the command shuttle, looking dazed, her face pale, eyes wide, and staring vacantly into the vast forest, that surrounded the base.

“Rey? Are you ok?” Finn asked, venturing closer.

“No, not really,” Rey said, before Finn took her into his arms, embracing her tightly. Poe saw no more of their reunion. With him on one end of the stretcher and Chewbacca had the other, they rushed Ben into the medical bay, with Leia and BB8 also suddenly alongside them. At the entrance to the Resistance Base, a medical technician raced out, firing off medical terminology that Poe did not understand, while assessing the now semi-conscious man.

“PEARL. Systolic ninety-five, diastolic sixty. He's a bit tachy. Ben...Ben... can you hear me?”

The medical officer then grabbed his hands. “Squeeze my hands. Good boy. That's it.”

Ben groaned, his eyelids fluttering.

“Poe, you need to tell us everything that happened,” Leia affixed him with her dark eyes.

_So similar to Ben's. Did I ever notice before?_

Poe nodded. “Of course.”

*

Poe took the time to check in on his fellow pilots, before returning to the base's medical centre. His heart now felt weighed down, by the reality of all that they had lost.

_At least three-quarters of the fleet... gone..._

He simply could not fathom that number. Every time he thought of a name of one of the fallen, he would feel a stab in his gut, as though their very ghosts were holding the penetrating weapon. He had been taught, from an early age, that to go to battle was to sustain casualties. However, the intellectual knowledge did not account for the horrendous reality. He told himself to keep in mind what they died for, the sacrifice that they had made, to stop a great evil from taking over the galaxy.

An evil that had once included both Kylo Ren and Finn.

_Who both then became integral in destroying it. Funny how things work out, sometimes._

As soon as he reached the medical bay, one of the medical assistants nodded him over to a private cubicle, to his left. He noticed that the rest of the infirmatory was relatively quiet, with only a few injured patients. The reason instantly came to him.

All of the pilots who died, were killed instantly. This realisation was one of the singular sparks of light, in his dismal morning; that his fellow pilots did not unduly suffer, with a lingering, painful demise.

With his heart feeling as though it weighed the equivalent of the first Starkiller Base, he walked up to the closed door, only for it to open and Leia to step out.

She reached up and touched Poe's cheek.

“Thank you, Poe. You saved my son. I don't know how I can ever repay you...”

“How is he?”

“He will be alright,” Leia said. “He is very weak but medically, everything is alright, with him. He is, however, of a very...melancholic mindset.”

_Melancholic?_

“He wishes to see you,” Leia continued. “I must go speak to Finn now. I understand that he was also crucial to the recovery of my son. But I will speak to you again, very soon.”

Poe watched her leave, feeling the usual overwhelming affection.

_There is nothing that I wouldn't do for her..._

He then turned the door handle and stepped into the room, closing the door behind himself. The room consisted of a cot bed, upon which Ben sat, a set of drawers with a jug of water and a cup on top, and a rather fluffy looking chair. Kylo-Ben had been changed into a drab grey infirmatory shirt and pants. Poe reflected that it did not suit him. He looked better wearing the all-black of his Kylo Ren uniform... or nothing at all.

“Hey...” Poe said, grabbing the chair by the bed, and pulling it forward. It was as comfortable, in its lumpiness, as it appeared. As he took Ben's hand, it occurred to him that, not too long before, he had enacted the same movement with Finn, after he had been felled by Kylo's lightsaber.

“How can you bear to look at me? Knowing everything that I've done?” Ben asked, tears running down his face.

“No, that was Snoke or Plageus, or whatever you want to call him, manipulating you.”

“I made the choice.”

“It's alright,” Poe lifted his hand and kissed it. “It will all be alright now, you'll see.”

“It will never be alright, not ever again!”

*

Ben's wails of distress were a lightsaber, slashing through Poe's soul. He had endured three days, of constant weeping and cries of anguish, from the increasingly distraught ex-Dark Jedi. Poe now sat outside the hospital room, hearing Ben's loud sobs, interspersed with Leia's attempts at comfort and felt tears prick in his own eyes, in response. He had no way of helping the man. Not even his own mother, it seemed, could pierce through the utter self-torture of his remorse.

He recalled what Luke had said to him, about Kylo renouncing the Darkside.

_“To be fully redeemed, would be incredibly painful, the pain of which may kill him, anyway. He would have to give up his powers of being Master of Death, would have to bear full responsibility, feel the weight of his remorse, for every action that he has taken. Only when he truly accepts this, would his soul be complete, again.”_

The night before, as wild rain lashed against the windows of the ex-Empire aligned pub in which they sat, Rey told the story as to what had happened, in the temple room. Him and Finn sat opposite her, barely touching their drinks and unable to withhold their outbursts of astonishment, as she regaled the incredible tale. Poe found the whole narrative to be amazing; the fact that Ben had brought his own mother back to life, that he had destroyed the very Sith Lord who had moulded him, turned him.

While Poe felt an inner glow of pride, at the actions of his beloved, Rey spoke with a monosyllabic tone, almost as though she did not care to understand what Kylo's redemption meant, for both the First Order and the Resistance.

She then took another sip of her drink.

“I felt such... I was willing to kill, to maim, I just...I was intent on revenge.”

Poe suddenly felt like slapping himself, upon realising the true reason for Rey's melancholy.

_So much like Ben..._

“Luke Skywalker had just died!” Finn had replied, in an obvious attempt to ease the anguish on her face. “I don't blame you.”

“I could feel the Darkside... beckoning...”

“But you didn't,” Finn said. “You didn't succumb.”

Rey had then looked forward, to an empty space between them, her eyes suddenly a millennia older than her youthful face. A stray tear ran down her cheek, which she hastily wiped away.

“But I wanted to.”

She then stood up, and excused herself. Finn, predictably, in Poe's mind, went after her.

Footsteps sounded, interrupting Poe from his musings. He looked up, to a scowling Finn, walking through the infirmatory, towards him. He slammed his body into the chair next to Poe's, letting out a deep exhale.

“He's still the same?” He indicated the room opposite.

“Still the same...”

“So is Rey. She seems so... distant. Never smiles. I keep trying to tell her that what happened isn't her fault but she won't listen to me. She spends a lot of time, alone. I'm worried about her.”

“I can tell,” Poe said. “I don't know what to say to you. I don't know how to help you.”

Finn was quiet, a while. The only noise was the soft sobs, coming from the other room.

“It seems every one of us is having a grand time, aren't we?” Finn asked, his sarcasm clear.

“The best. ”

“General Organa, she's spent some time with Rey. She seems to be the only person to calm her. Fantastic woman, that Organa.”

“You don't need to tell me.”

“Are you sure _you're_ alright? I mean after Hux tried to... well, you know...”

Poe nodded. “I've had it happen before. Not threatening to... hurt me in that way...” He added quickly, upon seeing the alarm in Finn's face. “But I have had others touch me inappropriately, try and kiss me. There was one ex-pilot, who tried to lick my feet!”

Finn's face wrinkled in disgust. “What is wrong with people?”

Poe shrugged. “I just figured it goes with the territory of being... well me.”

“No, it doesn't 'go with the territory'. If another is doing something that you don't like it's never something that you should just put up with!” Finn said, eyes blazing.

“With the others, I merely felt irritated. I didn't feel genuinely scared, until Hux.”

“Well, I'm glad he's dead,” Finn said. “What he was trying to do, with both you and Kylo Ren... it's pretty sick.”

“I never got to properly say thank you,” Poe turned to directly face him. “Thank you, Finn. If you hadn't broken free of your binds...I have no doubt. He would have killed Ben, he would have killed you and me both. And both Ben and I would have been... brutalised before our deaths. You saved us.”

“I didn't do anything that anyone else wouldn't have-”

“Thank you, Finn. I'm grateful, every day, that you decided to switch sides.”

“You're welcome,” Finn said, looking truly moved.

*

It seemed merely minutes, after falling into a restless sleep, that Poe heard the sharp knock, on his door. He had spent some time with his fellow pilots that night, reminiscing old memories. As a result, he felt, lighter somehow, a salve to the dismal grey encroaching his very soul, of late.

Grumbling, he stumbled out of bed and opened his door, to a fellow officer, standing opposite.

“You are wanted, in the sick bay.”

Poe nodded, quickly fumbling in his drawer, and taking out a small tube, placing it in his pants' pocket and then followed, not even bothering to change out of his night attire, inwardly hoping that this was good news.

However, upon arriving into Ben's room, he felt his heart sink. A very stricken Leia sat by her son's bed. She rose, as he came in. Poe glanced down to the cot, to notice that Ben's arms were tied down. Focusing on his wrists, Poe understood why. Underneath tight bandages, he could see the deep cuts, from where Ben had slashed.

_Why? When he could easily use the Force?_

The answer then came to him.

_Because Ben wants nothing more to do with the Force. He no longer wishes to use his powers._

Leia came over and embraced him. He could hear her thoughts, in his head.

_You see his wrists? You see what he has attempted?_

Poe pulled away from her, nodding, feeling his heart decimated by the tears running down her cheeks.

“Speak to him, please, Poe. You can get through to him.”

“I'll try,” he promised her.

As she left the room, closing the door behind herself, Poe took a deep breath and then pulled the chair up, to sit beside Ben, visually examining the bloodied wrists, beneath the dressings.

_Why?_

He leant forward, and undid the binds, freeing Ben's hands. No, he wasn't going to ask why, wasn't going to try and guilt him or admonish him for what he had done. He simply tenderly took his hand, holding it, in his.

“So you've denied your Jedi training?”

“I want no more to do with it. No more to do with any of this,” Ben said.

“So you've decided to give it up? The Darkside, the light? Being Master of Death?” He said, recalled Luke's words.

Ben looked directly at him and Poe found himself unconsciously drawing a breath. Despite the tear-smudged face and clear anguish, his innate beauty was undeniable.

“Everything that I've done...” Kylo said, his lips trembling.

“Yes, everything that you've done. The death of Han Solo. Of the members of Luke's Temple. Lor San Tekka. The villagers on Jakku.” With every death mentioned, Kylo flinched, as though Poe was actively giving him an electric shock. “This is the way you repay their deaths? By making it about you? Wallowing in self-pity?”

Ben's sobbing instantly ceased, his eyes blazing but no longer leaking, his face becoming paler.

“If you truly feel remorseful for what you've done, then you should make their deaths mean something, not take yourself out of the equation completely!” Poe said, snatching his hand away from Ben's.

Perhaps he was being cruel. Poe did not like to think of himself as a cruel man, but perhaps this was so. He had been somewhat avoiding Ben, he realised, in the past few days, not knowing how to respond, to the breadth of his anguish.

But, to realise that he had attempted this...

“You're right. I feel...there are no words for the anguish my past actions are causing me. I want to hide away from it, to force it to stop. But that would not redeem my horrific actions....” A new vulnerability came into the dark eyes. “Help me... please...”

Poe knew, from talking to others, that those were the exact words that Kylo had said to Han Solo, before driving his lightsaber into his chest. He found himself subconsciously standing, scuttling back.

“Please, I know your mind. I feel your disgust of me... Just please, please don't leave.”

Poe realised that he was right. Disgust was, indeed, the emotion that was sludging through his veins. However, this was quickly superseded by guilt. That man, who killed Han Solo, was not the utterly remorseful one before him now.

_Who are you, to judge him, Poe?_

He moved forward and sat down, leaning across, to touch Ben's cheek.

“You're here now. You are safe.”

“I honestly didn't believe that we would both survive,” Ben said.

“See, being a Dark Jedi doesn't make you infallible,” Poe smiled.

A ghost of a smile appeared on the weary face. Poe could not resist leaning across, again, to peck him on his lips.

“When I first saw you,” Poe said. “I knew it was wrong but I wanted you... so badly...”

“I guessed that by the way you begged me for sex. Can't say that I expected _that_ to happen...”

“It was just... it was enticing... me all tied up, you in your sexy black outfit... all menacing...damn, I have a problem, don't I?”

“Sorry, but the sexy black outfit will have to be replaced. Hux did a damn fine job of destroying it when he decided that forcing me would be a fitting way to end our relationship.”

Poe suddenly realised, from Ben's tone, that he was being flippant about his own potential violation. He felt his stomach give an ugly jolt.

“I'm just glad that Finn was able to break through his chains,” Poe said. “Hux wasn't going to stop.”

“No, he wasn't. Our 'relationship' if you'd call it that... giving my body to him, for him to assuage his lust, in return for favourable treatment... well, it seemed like a good idea, at the time...”

“I'm glad he's dead...” Poe said, definitively.

Ben suddenly sat up, and started to run his hands through Poe's hair. Poe stared back at him, feeling slightly mesmerised, at the exotic face, masculine yet somehow elfin. Even physically, Ben was, as ever, a contradiction.

“You know there's something absolutely stunning about you, right?” Poe asked. “Did you ever wonder why Hux was so utterly crazy about you? Why I am?”

Ben's reply was to take Poe's mouth in a long, lingering kiss. Poe clambered onto the bed, sitting on his lap and moaning, as Ben's lips then started to kiss down his chin, moving under his jaw. As he reached his neck, Ben pulled away, very lightly running his fingers over the mark, where Hux had bitten him.

“I didn't stop him from hurting you.”

“I'm alright... It was...I was terrified. But it's over now. And I'm ok.”

Ben still looked unconvinced. Poe smiled and ran a hand down his cheek.

“You can put things right by making love with me, right now. Make me forget that disgusting man.”

Poe then reached down and started to fondle his erection.

“I want you. Don't you want me?” He teased.

“You know I do.”

Both hastily started to remove their clothes, stroking and licking each other's flesh. The ghost of Hux's unwanted touches invaded the edges of Poe's mind. Forcibly pushing them aside, he pulled back, kneeling astride Ben's hips, while fumbling in the pocket of his discarded pants for the lube.

_This is about Ben, not Hux. Forget that imbecile!_

“Always prepared...” He said, smiling and holding the tube up.

“So you thought there might be a chance that your suicidal boyfriend may want to be intimate with you, after just attempting to take his own life?” Ben said, dryly.

“I thought it might... cheer you up, a bit.”

A smile graced the full lips, which then proceeded to laughter.

“You are truly gorgeous. Mistaken, but gorgeous. I don't think that even intimacy with the gorgeous, amazing Poe Dameron will cure my ill.”

“So you don't want me to ride you, right now?” Poe asked, stroking his erection.

An odd, closed look came over his face. “Not like that. Move off me, a moment.”

Poe did as he bid and Ben rolled over onto his front.

“Like this. I want you to have me. Like this. You can be as rough as you want. I don't even mind if it hurts.”

_Oh... wow...I'm so glad that bastard Hux is dead, in this moment._

Swallowing down queaziness at Ben's words, Poe pressed his lips against the flesh between Ben's shoulder blades, then gently rolled him over onto his back, kissing him passionately, on the mouth, before licking down his neck and chest.

“You don't want me?”

“Not like that,” Poe slid up him, once more, to look down into his face. “I sort of like you being part of the process, not just lying there, waiting for it to be over. And especially not being in pain. It's meant to be pleasurable, not painful.”

“I can handle pain-”

“Understand this...I will never hurt you. I'm really not into that.”

“Nor am I. I just... I want to give you everything that you want.”

“Well, then just shut up and allow me to seduce you.”

With that, he cupped Ben's jaw, melding their lips together, once more, his hands stroking his body with a fervent need. With his tongue and hands, Ben hungrily reciprocated. Panting, Poe drew back until he was sitting up, again astride Ben's hips. He then uncapped the lube and squeezed it onto his own fingers, before, with a smirk, reaching up, inside himself.

“Oh, oh yes!” He moaned, as he pressed up against his own prostate. His other hand started to stroke his erection. Pleasuring himself, he looked down, to Ben's utterly overcome face, the absolute lust burning in the dark eyes.

“You... you vixen...” Ben panted. “I need you, right now...”

“Do you?” Poe asked, adding more fingers to himself.

Ben sat up and took his mouth in a lustful kiss. Poe gently pushed him down, positioned himself and sank down onto his erection.

“Oh, oh yes...”

“Wait, wait-” Ben gestured at the door, using the Force to lock it.

Poe grinned, as he started to move, sliding up and down, relishing the thickness, inside himself. “Maybe it might be... sexy... if we're interrupted...”

An disgusted look came over Ben's face. “My _mother_ visits quite regularly!”

For a moment, Poe stopped moving, staring down at him, before bursting out laughing. After a moment, Ben joined him.

No, as much as he loved the General, Poe did not wish for her to see him being intimate with her own son.

Poe leant down, taking Ben's mouth in a long, lingering kiss once more, before sitting up and more vigorously bouncing up and down, feeling almost painful pleasure radiate over his entire body, as Ben's erection repeatedly hit his prostate. His moans started to become more frenzied. Ben's hands reached up, moving over his torso, tweaking his nipples.

“Good, good...” Poe moaned

Ben sat up, to kiss his mouth, his neck, running his hands over his chest, moving down to stroke him, his hand jerking in time to their movements.

“Wait, wait...”

Ben instantly stopped moving and gingerly pulled out. Poe climbed off and then went over onto his hands and knees.

“Like this.”

For a moment, he felt Ben's hand lightly stroking up and down his back. Poe then moaned, as he was entered once more. He heard the slap of skin on skin, felt the incredible sensation of his prostate being hit, with every thrust, the strong hands cupping his hips. Ben leant down, sucking on his shoulder, turning his head, to kiss him on the lips, their tongues tangling. Poe moaned, knowing that he wasn't going to last much longer.

But no, he wanted to last, needed the lovemaking to continue further. He willed himself back from the brink, deliberately thinking of the Millennium Falcon, going through, in loving detail, every aspect of what he knew of its interior. Once he got to the hydraulic shift, he heard Ben, moaning behind himself, relished the warmth of his release, inside of him.

Ben pulled out, and gently turned him over, onto his back.

“You're not... finished...”

Poe groaned, as Ben's mouth then enclosed on his erection, the lips and tongue moving up and down and swirling around, in a frenetic pace, clearly in an attempt to bring him to completion.

“Stop, stop...” Poe moaned. Ben did as he bid. “I want you... to be in you...” He squeezed more lube onto his fingers, and Ben sat up, to face him directly.

Ben nodded, guiding his hand, to the entrance of his body. As he started to digitally prepare him, Poe looked into his dark eyes, monitoring every hint of emotion that passed through.

“Do you know how beautiful you look, to me?”

“Is that a line you give all of your conquests?”

Poe smiled. “I have only had one other 'conquest' since being with you. And I told you how that went.”

Unable to resist, he leant forward, to suck and lightly bite the long neck, eagerly moving his free hand over the rippled flesh of Ben's torso. Feeling that he was now prepared, Poe gently urged him onto his back, taking his fingers out of the body, to grab his long legs and hook them around his waist. Ben reached up, to stroke down his face.

“I want you to take me, want to feel that I belong to you.”

“You don't belong to anyone but yourself, Ben. Not Plageus, not Hux. Certainly not me.”

A new light suddenly gleamed in the dark eyes, a sudden comprehension. It was as though he had never come to that realisation, before. Poe leant down and pecked him on his lips.

“Now that Ben Solo is with me, truly here, I'm excited to know every facet of you.”

“So much of me is tied in, with Kylo Ren,” Ben said, the light slightly extinguishing from his eyes.

“No, I saw hints of you, the real you, when you were the so-called Dark Jedi. Kylo Ren was the mask for you, don't you see? Plageus... and Hux tried so hard, to turn you but you were stronger than them. I think that you always knew that you would redeem yourself.”

Ben responded, by reaching out to take his erection, in hand.

“Are you going to talk to me, or are you going to have me?”

_And he calls me the vixen._

Poe rested his body on top of his, tenderly entering him.

“How is this?” He asked, as he started to move.

“How is it for you?”

Poe groaned. “Terrible... just...” He moved faster, hearing the slap of flesh on flesh, revelling in the heat and tightness surrounding himself. “I truly hate making love with the stunning hero of the Resistance, who switched sides to take out the Sith Lord.”

“Mmm...” Poe felt Ben's hand in his hair, the other stroking up and down his buttock. “How do you think I feel? Having the most daring, most beautiful pilot in the galaxy pound me? It's particularly grotesque, knowing that I've just had him, that he allowed me to climax deep inside him.”

Poe deliberately slowed down, with his thrusts, claiming Ben's mouth, once more. He reached down, feeling a little interest, in the proceedings, between Ben's legs. Stroking, he managed to garner even more interest. Ben's breath started to quicken. Poe let go off his erection and gripped his hips, concentrating now on slamming into his prostate with every thrust. Ben's breath was now coming in little gasps.

“I want you to finish for me,” he whispered, in Ben's ear. “I want to feel your release all over ourselves.”

Ben groaned.

“Then, after you've reached the height of your passions, then I'm going to finish, deep inside you. I'm going to fill you with my semen.”

“Yes...” Ben whispered. “I want you...I want to feel you finish inside me...”

Poe now moaned, undone, thrusting hard, as he felt himself topple right over, crying out his orgasm, as he felt Ben's own release, spurting all over both of their stomachs.

“Oh... oh man...” Poe collapsed against him, panting against his skin. “That was... that was fantastic...”

He tenderly removed himself, then, not wishing to leave just yet, placed his head on Ben's chest. Ben responded by unhooking his legs, grabbing the blanket and pulling it over themselves.

“When are they letting you out of here?” Poe asked, running a hand over his hip bone.

“When I stop acting so damaged,” Ben replied. “I may be in here a while.”

“It saddens me that you would feel so bad as to want to hurt yourself in such a way,” Poe said lifting his arm and kissing the bandage covered wrist, before running his fingers over Ben's hand, examining every facet. “You have such beautiful hands.” He then kissed the pads of every finger, before kissing his palm. “There is that a famous Scarpetti sculpture, in the Yavin Museum, of two hands, reaching out, as though in supplication. The form, the intricacy of his work was undeniably beautiful. So simple, yet so elegant. Even so, they are nothing compared to the beauty of _these_ hands.”

“My personal favourite, in that gallery, are the Verivaldi paintings. She always had such a distinct style. Her brushwork was simply so meticulously detailed. When I meditate, I always envision one of of those paintings, in my mind. Mountain Stream. That was always my favourite.”

Poe moved his head up, to look down at him. “Yes, yes I agree. They are exquisite. Very similar, in style, I think, to Garibaldi's work. Same bright colours and slightly off-centre framing.”

Beneath him, Ben broke out into a smile.

“Handsome, charming and smart. With excellent taste. Tell me, Poe do you have _any_ flaws?”

“No, none.”

“Ah there it is. Arrogance.”

“That's no flaw,” Poe said, then leant down and kissed him on the lips. Unable to resist, he cupped his face, kissing his nose, his cheeks, his chin, his forehead, before resting his head on Ben's chest.

“Do you think you'll become restless, now that the First Order has been destroyed?” Ben asked, reaching out to take Poe's hand.

Poe smiled. “There will always be someone to fight. We unfortunately live in an unfair universe.”

“When I was in the room, fighting Luke and Rey, I suddenly realised the truth. There is no ultimate right or wrong, light or dark. There is, ultimately, only grey. I think that's the conclusion that Luke ultimately came to.”

“It's our decisions that choose the side, for us. Light or dark. That's what I believe. You ultimately chose the light. Let's face it. It was the only choice. Hux and Plageus or me and Leia? Or, put it this way, the most awesome woman in existence versus a creepy Darth Lord? Or bad sex with Hux, versus awesome sex with me? Well, there's also the fact that Hux threatened to violate the both of us... actually, I'd rather not talk about that...”

“I need to talk to Rey,” Ben said. “We've been avoiding each other. But I think it might actually help the both of us.”

“I think so, too,” Poe said, then locked lips with Ben, once more, their tongues lapping together. “I should go,” Poe whispered. “I'm pretty certain that your medical attendants would be unimpressed, if they found me, naked in the bed with you.”

“I think they'd be _impressed_ , actually, that I managed to grab the attention of Poe Dameron,” Ben said, gently cupping Poe's left buttock, gently kneading. Poe found himself starting to respond.

After a very thorough session of deep kissing and stroking of each other's bodies, both were then very much responding, in a rather positive way.

“Damn... so how do you want to go this time? Should you take me or I take you?”

“How about both?” Ben said, his hands tenderly fondling Poe's buttocks.

Poe spread his legs and guided Ben's erection to his entrance, sliding it inside himself, as both moaned.

“You first,” he said, grinning.

*

“You ok?” Poe asked, against Ben's neck, as he continued to eagerly thrust inside of him.

“Yes... it's just... you've exhausted me! I think I'll sleep for the next three weeks!”

“It would be bad for my ego, if you fell asleep, in the middle of me having sex with you.”

Ben reached up and ran a hand down Poe's chest. “I like you... just taking what you want from me, right now, being in control. Beautiful man just... taking me.”

“I guess you're the one who’s used to being in control, huh?” Poe had not ceased with his relentless movement.

“I finished inside you, merely minutes before. It's only fair that you... return the favour.”

Poe groaned, thrusting harder, Ben's words enough to send him, for the second time that night, into a blissful climax.

“Damn....” He said, leaning down to kiss Ben's neck.

“Would you count that as four times in one night? As in we took it in turns, four times?”

“Sure...and now I am happy to sleep, for a very long time. Damn...I wish I could stay here with you... But...” Poe reluctantly forced himself out of the bed, and started gathering up his clothes. “Technically you're meant to be convalescing, not indulging in sensational sex.”

“When will you be back?” Ben asked, watching as Poe started to redress.

Poe pulled up his underwear and pants, then swiftly pulled his shirt over his head, before gathering up Ben's own night clothes and handing them to him.

“Whenever you want.”

“Tomorrow?”

Poe leant forward, kissing him on the lips. “Sure. I really hope that you are out of here soon.” he reached up, running a hand along Ben's lips. “I want you with me... in my bed.”

“You really mean that?”

“Yes, I really do,” Poe said, without hesitation. “I don't care. Now that you're... Ben Solo again, I want everyone to know that we're together....That is, of course, providing you agree.”

“No, I absolutely detest the concept of being the partner of the one who is seen as the most dashing pilot in the entire galaxy, who gives me fantastically great sex.”

“So get better then,” Poe whispered. “Not for me, not for Leia. But for you.”

For a moment, Ben simply stared at him, melancholy starting to creep into his irises, once more.

“Get dressed,” Poe indicated the clothes, piled on Ben's bed. “You don't want anyone coming in here to become suspicious.”

“Too late. I already smell like sex.”

“Hm probably best to take a shower, then,” Poe said.

“Forget it, let them talk,” Ben grabbed his pants and started pulling them on.

“I'll be back. I just... I really need some sleep...”

“You're not the only one,” Ben said. “Poe, when you see your friend, Finn. Can you ask him if he'll see me?”

Despite Finn saving Ben from a hideous fate, Poe suddenly realised that he wasn't sure how his good friend truly felt about him. Indeed, it was plausible that Finn actively despised Ben, only rescuing him due to his own moral code.

“Of course, I'll ask him.”

“And Poe...I won't hurt myself again. I promise you,” Ben's eyes were overly bright.

“I hope not. I kind of like you, you know. Look, I just want you to feel better. That's all. If there is anything I can do, then I will do it. Starting with bringing Finn to you.”

*

The next morning, Poe was able to locate Finn, through overhearing BB8's excited chatter, intermixed with Rey's giggles. Stepping into the base's dining area, Poe was reminded, once more, of the loss that had occurred, the sacrifices made, in the destruction of the First Order. The usually bustling with activity area was empty but for Rey, Finn and BB8, with a few other, rather morose looking Resistance members scattered sporadically throughout the now overly large looking room.

Seeing Rey's face, he realised, with some sorrow, that this was the most joyful that he had seen her, in their short acquaintance. But then, how much delight really could one truly achieve, after so much suffering?

As he moved towards them, BB8 gave a little squeal of delight, launching herself forward.

“Hey, BB8,” Poe said, kneeling down, to pat her on the head. He looked up, to Rey and Finn. Finn's smile simply radiated joy. Rey's still held a tinge of sadness.

“So, he said, standing up. “How are things?”

Rey waited until he pulled out a chair, to sit next to her, with BB8 chirping along beside him,before replying.

“It's all coming back,” Rey said. “The mind wipe that was used on me, it's falling apart. I remember the academy. I remember Luke. I was programmed to believe that he didn't exist, was just a legend. In a way, he could have been. Growing up, he was always so distant...I don't recall him ever actually spending proper, one-on-one time with me, like he did with Ben.”

“What was Ben like? How did he treat you?”

A bitter smile now twisted up her lips. “He's almost ten years older than me. Even so, he was always... in what memories I have of him, he was always being nice to me. Going out of his way to talk to me, to help me, when I was frustrated with my training... I want to see him. Will he see me?”

“He wants to see you, too.”

“Only, I'm not ready, yet. There's so much... history between us. I don't want us to go backwards. I want us to be... right with each other.”

“I understand,” Poe said. He felt that he truly did.

“He wants to see you too.” He said to a surprised looking Finn. “Will you see him?”

“Sure... what, _now_?”

Finn looked to Rey, seeming to be seeking her approval.

“I think that maybe he wants to thank you, for saving him,” Rey said.

Finn shook his head. “This whole situation is... ok, if he wants to see me, then sure. I'll see him.”

BB8 gave a couple of squeals.

“Sure, BB8. If you want to come,” Poe said.

“I know he's suffering,” Rey said. “Worse than I am. I don't... for my part, I forgive him for the atrocities he... I felt the power of the Darkside,” tears sprang up in her brown eyes. “I understand how alluring it can be. I don't think he should suffer any longer.” The drops now ran down her face.

“And nor should you,” Poe said quietly.

*

Poe and Finn heard Chewbacca's almighty roar and rushed forward, skidding into Ben's room, to find the wookie's arms around the slighter man.

“Oh no, he's killing him!” Finn shouted, as BB8 slammed into the back of Poe's legs.

Chewbacca roared once more, then reached a paw up and patted Ben on the head.

“No,” Poe smiled. “He's hugging him.”

Chewbacca pulled away, and Poe noted the look of absolute relief, on Ben's face. The wookie patted him on the head, once more, then departed the room, giving the three a roar of greeting, upon exit.

BB8 came forward a little, into the room. Ben looked down at her and smiled.

“The little droid who was the start of all of this mayhem.”

BB8 gave a couple of squeaks.

“No, had I captured you, I was simply going to get the information off you.”

BB8 ran forward and smashed herself into the leg of Ben's bed.

“Hey, he's alright, BB8. You trust _me_ , don't you?” Poe asked, as she whipped her head around, to face him. She then whipped back to face Ben, then back to Poe again, then rolled towards Poe. He knelt down, to face her directly. “Well, I like him so you'll have to get used to him.”

She turned her head around to face Ben once more, then rolled out of the room.

“Guess she's thinking about it,” Poe said, standing.

Finn came further into the room. Poe could sense distinct awkwardness, between him and Ben.

“Rey told me what happened, how you brought General Organa back, after the Darth Lord killed her, how you then destroyed the Darth Lord. She said she was about to slay him, herself. But you stopped her. If she had, then she would have succumbed to the Darkside. I don't know much about the Jedi and the Force or how that all works, but I know enough to realise that that would have been bad, really bad,” Finn said.

“You saved me,” Ben said.

“That slime Hux was about to rape you. I wasn't going to let that happen. I wouldn't even let that happen to him!”

“No.. I meant you shot him.”

Poe suddenly realised that Ben did not know who had actually killed Hux.

“No, that was Poe.”

“Oh...” Ben then looked at Poe, with what looked like surprised gratitude.

“I had my back to you but Poe, he saw what was happening, and grabbed Phasma's gun off me.” Finn then stared at him a long moment. “Why did you murder Han Solo?”

A spasm of pure torture came over Ben's face but he held Finn's eyes. “I thought I was bringing balance, finishing what my grandfather, Anakin started. To do that, I had to surrender to the Darkside completely. I had to … kill what I loved the most,” his voice broke, tears running down his face.

“I was brought up conditioned to be a part of that Order. But you, you joined them by _choice_.”

“Finn... Snoke or Plageus or whatever you want to call him was manipulating Ben from an early age,” Poe said. “In some ways, he was just as brainwashed-”

“No, he made his choice. We all make our choices.”

“Finn is right,” Ben said.

“And he made his choice to ultimately _destroy_ the Darth Lord and with it, the First order. Doesn't that count for anything? How much is ample punishment for his past misdeeds?” Poe asked.

“Damn it! I thought coming here, seeing your absolute anguish over what you've done would make me feel... victorious, in some ways,” Finn said. “But instead I just feel numb. It doesn't change anything.” He sighed, pulled out the lumpy chair and sat down. “In some ways, you were no better or worse than any of the First order, at the time. But then, you did manage to get out, to see what they truly were.”

“I'm sorry, I know it's no... But I truly am... for the villagers on Jakku, for Han Solo...I didn't want the Starkiller Base to destroy the Republic. I know it sounds like an excuse. I just told myself it was Hux. I had nothing to do with it...” Ben could barely get the words out, between sobs.

Finn sighed. “I’m no hero. I just kept wanting to run, kept trying to get Rey to run away with me.”

“You managed to break free of your programming, then free a captured pilot, then steal a tie-fighter. That's pretty impressive,” Ben said, managing to get in some control, of his emotions.

“I just wanted to get away from the First order. You really do feel terrible, don't you, absolutely overcome with remorse at your actions? I'm really finding it hard to despise you,” he looked at Poe, as though for help. “Well, if hatred and anger is a part of the Darkside, then I want nothing of it.” He held out his hand to Ben. “I forgive you.”

Ben took his hand and shook it, a look of almost childlike gratitude on his face. Poe felt his own heart feel a little lighter, at the sight.

“Besides, I'd have to at least form some tolerance for you. Your mother kinda likes you. Looks like Chewbacca's forgiven you. But mainly this one,” he indicated Poe. “Is damned crazy about you! I had to hear all of the too-much-information details, in regards to your rather bizarre courting.”

Ben's eyes flicked to Poe, who smiled and shrugged.

“Thank you, Finn,” Ben exhaled loudly. “Oh and apologies, too for slicing the flesh off your back, in the lightsaber duel.”

“ _That_ one I can easily forgive. I actually thought I did pretty well.”

“No, not really. I was toying with you.”

“I did manage to get one good strike in.”

“True, true and that was when I thought it best to finish the fight.”

“Oh... damn...I truly thought I was kicking your butt. Actually, forget it, I won't forgive you then,” Finn said, smiling.

“I wouldn't feel too bad about it. If you feel a slight to your masculinity, just remember that you did manage to break through the chains of the torture wracks of the First Order... though maybe that says more about the contractors the First Order used. I always thought that they skimped on materials,” Ben said, dryly.

“I would like to know the name of the contractor who designed the second Starkiller Base,” Finn said. “That was... interesting.”

“Look, they were going for the 'Check Out Our Awesome and Funky Destructive Genocidal Military Base ' vibe, to wow the new recruits,” Poe said. “Actually, I really think they should have had family day. Bring the children. Let them watch the slaughter of countless civilians-” _Oh, maybe that was too far._

“Bright colours, sugary treats and mass slaughter. All in a day's good fun. Yes, I see it,” Ben said, smirking at Poe.

_He's so naughty... I love it... and also want to be intimate again, sooner rather than later..._

Finn looked from one to the other, a curious look in his eyes.

“Poe, can I talk to Ben, alone?”

“Oh ah... sure...”

Poe stepped out of the room and then started pacing up and down, curious as to what Finn and Ben were discussing. BB8 came rolling down the hall. He knelt down, to face her directly, as she communicated with him.

“Hey, buddy. Yes... ok...” He laughed, as BB8 told him, in her droid voice that she now liked Ben, for his sake. “You do what you think is right.”

He stood up and resumed pacing.

“Yes, Ben and Finn are talking... I don't know what they're talking about...”

The door opened and Finn stepped out.

“Everything alright?” Poe asked.

“Yeah... yeah I think it is." He clamped his hand onto Poe's shoulder. “You know, Poe... I count you as a really good friend.”

“So I do. You're awesome, man,” Poe said.

Finn smiled. “We'll be ok, me and Ben? Yeah we're ok.”

“Good, I'm glad to hear.”

“Go on, I'm guessing he'll be wanting to see you. How about you, BB8 want to go find Rey?”

BB8 gave a little whirring noise of delight. Finn waved Poe goodbye and he stepped back into the room, locking the door.

“So...” He sat down on the edge of the bed.

“So, I don't want there to be any more secrets between us. Not any more. Finn told me-”

“No, you don’t have to-”

“He told me that he believed me, that I was truly remorseful. But that he wouldn't be a good friend to you, if he didn't say that if I hurt you, then he'd come after me. And I wouldn't like the results.”

“Oh, well that's... that's actually kind of sweet...”

“It's good that he's so protective of you. But he needn't be. That will never happen. You saved me, Poe. I am in your debt.”

“No, I didn't-”

“Hux, he once told me that he'd fallen in love with me. And I didn't know what to say, didn't know how to respond. I didn’t... I felt nothing for him. But you, I've...” His eyes momentarily flicked away then flicked back to Poe's. “I've fallen in love with you.”

Many others had said those exact words to Poe, over the years.

_This is the only time, that I have actually wanted to hear them spoken._

“Well, that's a relief to hear, because I've fallen for you. Pretty bad. And I’m not the type to fall in love, so... that's it, I guess...” He finished, lamely.

“I'm not either,” Ben replied. “But you...from the moment I saw you, on Jakku... we were enemies, it was insane but...”

“You knew from then that you had fallen for me?”

He could see Ben thinking about it. “Actually, no, at that point, I just thought you were insanely handsome and that I _really_ wanted to have sex with you. No, it was the second time, on Jakku, when you came across me... I think, yes, I think I started falling for you, then. Didn't exactly help my already messed up state-of-mind. See I realised 'damn, he's not just some air-headed hotshot pilot.”

“So, that's it. I guess now we know,” Poe let out a shaky breath.

“Now we know.”

In Ben's relieved, warm smile, Poe suddenly saw a beauty that could rival any painting by Garibaldi.

“So can we have wild sex now?” Poe asked.

Ben laughed. “What if I said no?”

“Then I would persuade you to change your mind,” Poe said, running a hand up his inner thigh.

“You don't need to persuade me of anything. I want you, now.”

Poe smiled. "Of course you do."

Tbc...


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who are reading/reviewing/kudoing. Coming to the end, now. Two more chapters to go :)

When he was in the physicality of Kylo Ren, Ben had thought that he was cognisant of his own emotional pain, was, infact, certain that he had stretched his limit as far as it could go.

To his great misfortune, he turned out to be terribly wrong.

The part of himself still somehow separate from the turmoil of his emotions, was astounded, that he could go through such horrendous suffering and yet still live. Every fibre of his very being was in excruciating agony. To cease it, he would accept any form of physical, or even mental torture. He would allow Plageus to wreck his body, tear apart his brain, or for Hux to ravish him a thousand times over. Any extreme trauma, to avoid this absolute realisation of the terror and suffering, that he had wrought on others.

So overwhelming was his acute spiritual distress that he was only vaguely aware of other people. Ben thought, at times that perhaps his mother was with him. He could feel her light touch, her warm, comforting arms around him, her voice.

“I'm so glad you're back. It's alright, Ben. It will be alright.”

“Sh...Sh...anything you need. Anything at all.”

But no, surely he was wrong, she would not wish to see him. Considering his ( _Han Solo's_ ) former ( _hand, so gentle on his face_ ) wickedness.

Other times, he was certain that Chewbacca was in the room with him.

Then there were the moments, in which he heard Poe’s voice.

“What do you want me to do? Tell me how to help you?”

No, that simply could not be. He was merely indulging in a beautiful fantasy, a faux endowment to the conflict in his soul.

He could feel the agony of all who had died, as though billions of the most powerful of lightsabers were slashing his soul, easily tearing it to the most minuscule of particles.

One could not enact the brutality of his past, and be privileged enough to still breathe oxygen, to pump vital blood around their body.

Poe and his mother were unworthy of him. They did not deserve to be in an existence that also had him in it. He was not Ben Solo, despite what he had done to so-called redeem himself. No matter what he told himself, or what Poe or his mother told him, he would always be Kylo Ren.

The galaxy was safer without him in it.

Ben pointed at the tray of medical equipment lying in the hall outside his room, using the Force, to bring the the surgical knife, placed on top, to him. He told himself that this would be the last time that he used such skills, that had delivered such brutality to the galaxy.

If he completed this, then he could cease the agony that was his life. And his mother would no longer have to live with the shame of what her son had done.

He told himself that he just had to show a little courage, one last time.

_Help me, grandfather to complete this one final act._

As he placed the knife to his wrist, he thought that perhaps he heard a voice, dimly calling out to him.

_“Ben, please, no...”_

But no, he convinced himself that this was simply his imagination.

*

When he awoke, Leia was by his bed. He instantly glanced down at his bandaged, bloodied wrists, feeling as though his very heart was clenching, in exasperated sorrow.

He had failed.

“Ben-”

Ben let out his frustration in a loud wail, placing his head in his hands.

_How to get out of this unending nightmare?_

He fought against the overwhelming torment, desperate for some relief, ( _Please make it stop! Someone please how do I make this stop?_ ) before giving in to it, allowing it to move through his body, contaminating his soul with its perpetual dread.

_I just want it to end. Please._

Poe now sat before him again, so strong, so beautiful. In some ways, Ben could barely stand to look at him, to involve him in his suffering. But then, a part of him also wanted Poe to save him, to somehow be the salvation that would bring light into his overwhelming darkness.

“Yes, everything that you've done. The death of Han Solo. Of the members of Luke's Temple. Lor San Tekka. The villagers on Jakku. This is the way you repay their deaths? By making it about you? Wallowing in self-pity? If you truly feel remorseful for what you've done, then you should make their deaths mean something, not take yourself out of the equation completely!”

“Help me... please...” He didn't need the Force, to read the disgust on Poe's face. “Just please, please don't leave.”

Something changed in the brown eyes, then, a warmth filtering through, blocking out his disgust.

“You're here now. You are safe,” Poe's touch, so light upon his face.

Ben suddenly found himself present, in a way that he had not been, the three days previously. Every shape, every colour seemed to stand out, in sharp contrast to each other. He could count every one of Poe's dark lashes.

“When I first saw you,” Poe said. “I knew it was wrong but I wanted you... so badly...”

And so it came down to their intense sexual attraction, once more. But then, perhaps that was alright. Perhaps it could be a salve, to his current darkness. In those few moments of consummation, perhaps he could obtain a reprieve, from the remorse of his crimes.

And Poe was so beautiful, so sexually charged. Everything about him seemed to fit so right with himself.

That smell, that taste, stubble over soft skin...

Ben then caught the bite mark on Poe's neck, a reminder, once more, of his failure.

_You couldn't even save Poe._

“I didn't stop him from hurting you.”

“I'm alright... It was...I was terrified. But it's over now. And I'm ok.” A smirk uplifted Poe's lips. “You can put things right by making love with me, right now. Make me forget that disgusting man.”

Yes, yes he could make love with Poe. The pilot had it in his power, surely, to save him.

No, he berated himself, for his foolish meanderings. He was a fool to think that sex with the pilot, as beautiful and talented as he was, could take away the hundreds of crimes that he had committed, as Kylo Ren.

Just as destroying the Darth Lord and bringing Leia back could not bring back Han Solo, or the child in the temple.

Ben rolled over to his front. He wanted Poe to hurt him, to ravish him, to simply take what he wanted with no consequence; for one of such high standing to savagely punish him. Yes, he deserved that. Why didn't Poe understand? He didn't deserve to be made love to, to be fulfilled with subtle sensual touches and kisses.

All he was worthy of, was to be brutalised.

Only Poe didn't seem to agree. The witty, brave pilot, who wanted to give him the ultimate fulfilment, was so painfully beautiful, as he pleasured himself and then slowly started to ride him, so hot and tight and messy-haired.

“Oh, oh yes...” Poe moaned. Ben could only watch, amazed at this absolutely stunning creature, who had deemed him worthy to have extremely _(make_ ) intense _(love_ ) sex ( _to_ ) with.

“Wait, wait-” Ben was not consciously aware of using the Force to lock the door.

“Maybe it might be... sexy... if we're interrupted...”

_Interrupted? Surely, he's joking!_

“My _mother_ visits quite regularly!”

Poe burst out laughing. Ben could not help but return the laughter. For the first time in days, he felt a lightness fill his body, dispelling some of the darkness. How could this be? How could he be fortunate enough to have the most handsome, witty pilot in the Resistance be riding him, while laughing?

Ben then lost all coherent thought, as he was overtaken by the pure pleasure of intimacy with Poe Dameron, every line of his strong face etched in his mind; the taste of his sweaty skin, the overwhelming sensation of being inside him, hearing his moans of pleasure with every thrust.

Poe wanted to change positions and Ben acquiesced. Now that Poe was on his hands and knees, Ben realised that he could watch himself, moving in and out of the tight entrance. The sensation was so overwhelming that it took all of his control to not climax, right then and there. He wondered if Poe had gone into this position precisely because of that fact. He wouldn't put it past the adorable vixen.

Ben's mind went to one of the moments of intimacy with Hux, the only time that he allowed the general to take him, on his hands and knees.

“I wish you could see what I'm looking at, right now. I can see my thick cock, moving in and out of your tight ass.”

At the time, rather than being aroused, Ben had felt humiliated, to hear such words. After it was finished, he had been straight, with Hux.

“I did not care for you to talk in such a way to me. Do not do it again.”

No, he did not wish that for Poe. The pilot was more to him, than a mere entrance to fit himself into. Ben leant forward, to kiss his back. Everything about him, was so utterly perfect; the flesh of his back, his thighs, his feet... Ben gently ran a hand over his feet...But mainly, that face... Ben cupped his jaw, turning his head, to look into the dreamy eyes, to taste his lips... such intelligence, such humour in those lovely brown orbs. It was those eyes that remained in his mind, as he reached the height of his passions, feeling his release spill into the tight passage.

It became clear, upon turning Poe over, that he had not succumbed, himself. Ben was more than content to use his mouth to complete him. Perhaps, he would even allow Poe to finish, in his mouth. Yes, he trusted Poe enough to at least attempt it.

Poe soon made it clear that he wanted more, wanted to have him. Ben was willing to give himself, to feel that he belonged to Poe, was a part of him, even if it was in a mere physical way.

“I want you to take me, want to feel that I belong to you,” Ben said, once Poe had prepared him, with tender fingers and loving words.

“You don't belong to anyone but yourself, Ben. Not Plageus, not Hux. Certainly not me.”

Ben felt a little more light pour into himself, a little more of the pain extinguish. Could it really be as simple as that? Was part of his pain being caused by him continuing to attach himself to those men... to his past?

He wanted to believe Poe, when he said that Kylo Ren was the mask, that his true self was there, waiting, hidden all along. But then, why not? Why couldn't this be a simple concept for him?

To give himself over completely, to be vulnerable in such a way. He realised, as Poe entered him, starting to move, that this was different, to when Hux took him. Poe was clearly happy to be flexible, whereas, Ben had known, without even asking, that Hux would never allow himself to be taken, would see it as allowing himself to somehow be weakened.

Now that Ben knew how it felt, to be taken by one that he ( _loved_ ) had a strong connection to, he realised that Hux was mistaken. To have a lover enter oneself, to feel oneself be filled in such a way, was a strength, precisely because it meant exposing oneself, opening oneself to vulnerability.

Poe was, as ever, so gentle, so aware of Ben's own physical being. He had long realised that Poe engaged in sexual relations with the same joy and teasing and degree of sultriness that he did with everything else, in his life. Ben was not, and had never been, merely an object, to fulfil his lusts.

Ben looked up at the sweaty, grinning face on top of him and felt a fleeting thought enter his mind.

_I'm in love with him. I have been, for a long time._

The revelation came somewhat as a surprise, to him. But then, why not? It was in keeping, with his crazy life of late, that he would fall for one of the most prominent members of the Resistance, the one group he had spent years actively resisting.

Poe pressed their lips together, tongue entering his mouth. Ben realised that he rarely allowed Hux to kiss him on the mouth and yet, with Poe, he couldn't get enough of his soft lips.

_He's amazing... he's so...need him...need this so much..._

He felt Poe's hands stroking him, with expert efficiency, the combined pleasure of the movement inside himself, and the hand on him, enough to start to harden him, once more.

_Yes..._

Only Poe could do this to him. Hell, even looking at the pilot was enough to get him hard.

“I want you to finish for me,” he whispered, in Ben's ear. “I want to feel your release all over ourselves.”

_Yes. Yes._

Very soon, Poe was going to achieve his wish.

“Then, after you've reached the height of your passions, then I'm going to finish, deep inside you. I'm going to fill you with my semen.”

Ben groaned, the fullness, pounding inside him, the dirty words, in his ear, he was already at the height of pleasure... surely one could not possibly feel any more?

_So good..._

He wanted Poe to fill him, mark him with his seed, he wanted to know that he had proof, that Poe Dameron had been inside him.

It seemed impossible to him yet at the same time utterly amazing, when he came so hard, it was almost painful, at the same time, feeling the warmth inside him, of Poe's release. With Hux, he had always showered, not long after, washing the man's fluids from his own body.

With Poe, he cherished being marked by him, knowing that the debonair pilot wanted him.

_But there's more too it, and you know it._

“Oh... oh man...” Poe collapsed against him, panting against his skin. “That was... that was fantastic...”

Ben utterly concurred.

A part of him realised that he had no right, to be lying there, so sated, flirting with Poe, being secretly impressed by his taste, his intellect, his ready wit. With all that he had done, he had no right, to have Poe kiss him all over his face, to feel special, needed, wanted.

And yet, he craved the attention, needed Poe to want him, to converse, to physically touch and laugh with.

“When I was in the room, fighting Luke and Rey, I suddenly realised the truth. There is no ultimate right or wrong, light or dark. There is, ultimately, only grey. I think that's the conclusion that Luke ultimately came to.”

_If this is the ultimate truth, then perhaps your pain is negotiable. Perhaps even the actions of the First Order, were steeped in grey._

“It's our decisions that choose the side, for us. Light or dark. That's what I believe,” Poe replied. “You ultimately chose the light. Let's face it. It was the only choice. Hux and Plageus or me and Leia? Or, put it this way, the most awesome woman in existence versus a creepy Darth Lord? Or bad sex with Hux, versus awesome sex with me? Well, there's also the fact that Hux threatened to violate the both of us... actually, I'd rather not talk about that...”

No, Ben thought, using the hand that wasn’t clasped in Poe's to run through the pilot's rich curls, he didn't wish to think about Hux, particularly what he was going to do to Poe. Ben realised he should have acted sooner, but was so indecently obsessed with fighting Rey-

_Rey..._

“I need to talk to Rey,” Ben said. “We've been avoiding each other. But I think it might actually help the both of us.”

Poe concurred and suddenly went to leave. No, Ben didn't want that. Ben needed to have him, to have Poe take himself. He craved the intimacy, the flesh and muscle and bone of another being.

Not just any other being.

_Him. And only him._

*

“Would you count that as four times in one night? As in we took it in turns, four times?” Ben said, thinking about Hux's 'record'. He suddenly realised that he longed to beat it.

“Sure...and now I am happy to sleep, for a very long time. Damn...I wish I could stay here with you... But...technically you're meant to be convalescing, not indulging in sensational sex.”

Poe was clearly not self-conscious about his nakedness. But then Ben was not surprised, given the way he looked.

“When will you be back?” Ben asked.

“Whenever you want.”

“Tomorrow?”

Poe concurred. As he spoke, Ben found himself drawn into his dark eyes. Looking at him seemed to ease his anguish somewhat. He wasn't sure why. If he could get past this melancholy, if he could somehow find the key to unleashing the extreme guilt and pain then maybe...

He longed to be with Poe, he realised, as much as he longed oxygen into his lungs. No, it went beyond merely that. He wanted to be free, with the pilot, unhindered by his past. Ben recalled what Poe had said to him, upon arriving in his room, and seeing what he had attempted.

He had to make the deaths mean something. If he was to truly make amends, he had to start, with the people that he had hurt.

“Poe, when you see your friend, Finn. Can you ask him if he'll see me?”

“Of course, I'll ask him.”

“And Poe...I won't hurt myself again. I promise you.”

“I hope not. I kind of like you, you know. Look, I just want you to feel better. That's all. If there is anything I can do, then I will do it. Starting with bringing Finn to you.”

Ben nodded. Now that Poe was leaving, he felt the melancholy start to return, engulfing his body, as though he was plunging himself in a pool of freezing water.

_Poe is not, and never should be responsible for how you feel._

“And Ben... I meant it... When you come out of there, I want you to move in with me.”

_I think that I would very much like that too. Even though I don't deserve it._

“I'll need new clothes, new everything. Well, at least Hux didn't destroy my boots. I love those boots.”

“Any particular colour, design?” Poe grinned.

“I did like my old clothes. I made them myself,” Ben said. “They suited me! And Hux went and tore them all up!”

“Well, we'll figure something out,” Poe promised.

*

Within minutes of Poe leaving the room, Leia came in. She stood over his bed, silent, a long moment.

“There's something I need to say to you. I love you Ben. But I recognise... fault, from my side, when it came to you growing up. I wasn't there for you. Not entirely. Nor was your father. We were both so caught up in our own issues. Me with the Republic, in particular. And I know you heard us fight, a lot. I'm sorry. I have to take my responsibility, for what happened. Our... negligence allowed someone like Plageus a way in.”

For a moment, Ben felt the strong urge to correct her, to tell her that none of this was her fault. It was him, and only him. He was bad, he was evil, he was-

But he felt too fatigued, to keep blaming himself entirely. Perhaps there was some truth to what she was saying. If blame was to be shared, as to what had happened, then perhaps some people did share a portion. Only, he realised, the portions he was slicing up, were far too uneven. He was mainly blaming himself, and perhaps rightly so. However, Plageus was achieving little to none of the blame, nor was Leia. In fact, the more he considered it, Kylo Ren had only ever despised her as part of the Resistance, rather than as his mother. Han Solo, on the other hand received a fair amount of blame, as his father.

_I can't keep doing this._

“I forgive you, mum. Please forgive _me_ ,” Ben said.

“Honey, there's no need for... You're my beautiful boy. Of course I forgive you!”

“I didn't... with dad...Plageus had me convinced that the only way to fully go over to the Darkside, was to kill the one I loved.”

He felt her arm go around him and felt warm, protected.

“Even after I still felt torn...I'm sorry, mum... I was a fool...”

“No _I_ was the fool,” Leia said, leaning down to kiss his forehead. “But you showed such courage, in the end. You're alive. That's all I care about. I have my beautiful boy back again.”

Ben rested the side of his head against her chest, feeling her hands in his hair, softly stroking, as she did when he was a child. He felt more of the light pour inside himself, the pain lessened.

“I love you, Ben,” Leia said.

“I love you too, mum,” More of the light, the agony retreating, becoming more bearable. For a long moment, he was content, just to be there, in his mother's arms.

“Now, tell me about Poe Dameron,” Leia said. Ben looked up at her, to catch a knowing grin on her face.

“I-I don't know what you-” Ben stuttered.

“Come now, Ben,” Leia sounded stern. “You went back to save him. He told me that you have connected both in person on Jakku and in the dream plane.”

“He did?” Ben asked, feeling blood run to the surface of his face.

“He is the only one that you have asked for, apart from me and Chewbacca.”

Chewbacca? He didn't recall asking for him.

“You are in love with him. And he is in love with you,” she said. “I think you've been in enough pain. Tell him how you feel. Allow him in, to help you through it.”

Ben felt his heart start to speed up. _But what if he isn't-?_

“He is, believe me,” Leia kissed him on his forehead, once more, before letting go of him and standing up.

“Someone wants to see you.”

In the doorway, stood Chewbacca. Ben saw him and felt his heart concurrently tear apart and glue itself together, again. He had seen footage of the wookie, from when he was a baby; holding the barely one hour old Ben, then sitting beside him, roaring as toddler Ben took his first steps. As he got older, the memories became more concrete; Chewbacca had piggybacked toddler Ben, running through forest landscapes while Ben whooped with glee, had, with his father, taught him how to fire a weapon, how to fix the Millennium Falcon.

Chewbacca was the one who, upon seeing his best friend be killed by him, in a burst of pure anguish, had shot him with a blaster,

“Chewbacca, I'm so sorry, I'm so...”

He could hear his name, in Chewbacca's roar, felt his arms close around him and realised that Chewie had forgiven him, that they were alright with each other, once more.

More of his pain started to disintegrate, the light shining through, dispelling the darkness.

As Chewbacca patted him on the head, he heard footsteps, running into the room. He looked up, to Finn, Poe and BB8 standing in the doorway. Chewbacca released him and left the room, roaring, as he went.

BB8 rolled into the room, clearly cautiously.

“The little droid who was the start of all of this mayhem.”

With a tiny amount of whirrs and beeps, BB8 asked him if he would have destroyed her, had she been captured.

“No, had I captured you, I was simply going to get the information off you.” Ben said, honestly. Kylo Ren would not have killed the droid, if it was not necessary. Even so, BB8 ran forward and smashed herself into the leg of Ben's bed. Ben inwardly found it rather cute.

“Hey, he's alright, BB8. You trust _me_ , don't you?” Poe asked, coming closer. “Well, I like him so you'll have to get used to him.”

Ben could see that she was considering her answer, before rolling out.

Finn then came further into the room, simply staring at Ben a moment.

“Rey told me what happened, how you brought General Organa back, after the Darth Lord killed her, how you then destroyed the Darth Lord. She said she was about to slay him, herself. But you stopped her. If she had, then she would have succumbed to the Darkside. I don't know much about the Jedi and the Force or how that all works, but I know enough to realise that that would have been bad, really bad,” Finn said.

“You saved me,” Ben said, not wishing to discuss what had happened in the temple room.

“That slime Hux was about to rape you. I wasn't going to let that happen. I wouldn't even let that happen to him!”

“No. I meant you shot him.”

“No, that was Poe.”

“Oh...” Ben turned to look at Poe, who simply half smirked and gave a little shrug, which, in turn, caused Ben's stomach to give a delightful jolt.

_I owe you, in so many ways._

“Why did you murder Han Solo?” Finn asked

_And there it is._

“I thought I was bringing balance, finishing what my grandfather, Anakin started. To do that, I had to surrender to the Darkside completely. I had to … kill what I loved the most,” Ben felt the anguish once again tear at his heart. He longed to turn away from it, to scream and cry out his torment. But no, he would stay strong and face up to what he did.

“I was brought up conditioned to be a part of that Order. But you, you joined them by _choice_.”

“Finn... Snoke or Plageus or whatever you want to call him was manipulating Ben from an early age,” Poe said. “In some ways, he was just as brainwashed-”

_Oh Poe..._

“No, he made his choice. We all make our choices.”

_I think... Mum's right. I'm in love with you. But you're wrong._

“Finn is right,” Ben said.

“And he made his choice to ultimately _destroy_ the Darth Lord and with it, the First order. Doesn't that count for anything? How much is ample punishment for his past misdeeds?” Poe asked.

“Damn it! I thought coming here, seeing your absolute anguish over what you've done would make me feel... victorious, in some ways,” Finn said. “But instead I just feel numb. It doesn't change anything.” He sighed, pulled out the lumpy chair and sat down. “In some ways, you were no better or worse than any of the First order, at the time. But then, you did manage to get out, to see what they truly were.”

“I'm sorry, I know it's no... But I truly am... for the villagers on Jakku, for Han Solo...I didn't want the Starkiller Base to destroy the Republic. I know it sounds like an excuse. I just told myself it was Hux. I had nothing to do with it...” Ben could barely get the words out, between sobs.

Finn sighed. “I’m no hero. I just kept wanting to run, kept trying to get Rey to run away with me.”

“You managed to break free of your programming, then free a captured pilot, then steal a tie-fighter. That's pretty impressive,” Ben said.

“I just wanted to get away from the First order. You really do feel terrible, don't you, absolutely overcome with remorse at your actions? I'm really finding it hard to despise you,” he looked at Poe, as though for help. “Well, if hatred and anger is a part of the Darkside, then I want nothing of it.” He held out his hand to Ben. “I forgive you.”

Ben felt a wave of relief wash over himself, so strong that this time the tears that now pricked his eyes were not negative. He found himself almost giddily going along with joking about (but not really) Finn's completely wrong assessment of their lightsaber fight. He could see, from Finn's off-the-cuff remarks, why Poe and him were good friends. When Poe jumped in with a characteristic,wry statement, it was clear that they shared similar senses of humour.

“Poe, can I talk to Ben, alone?” Finn asked.

“Oh ah... sure...”

As Poe left the room, closing the door, both Finn and Ben were silent. For his part, Ben felt anxiety twist his innards.

“Ok,” Finn turned back, to look at Ben directly. “I believe you, when you say that you feel complete remorse over your past actions. However, I would not be a good friend to Poe, if I didn't say to you this. If you hurt him, then you'll have to deal with me. And believe me, you won't like that. I don't care what ex-Dark Jedi you are.”

Ben was impressed by Finn's protectiveness of Poe.

“It's good that you're protective of him. But I can tell you this, you won't ever need to come after me. Poe's...”

Finn continued to favour him with his keen stare. “You went back for him, to save him, didn't you?”

Ben nodded.

“Poe is unlike anyone I've ever met. He's...” _How to even describe that beautiful, exotic man?_

Finn shook his head. “You're both absolutely crazy, you know that? You love him, don't you? Actually, forget I asked that.”

“I am completely in love with him,” Ben said, defiantly.

“I believe you,” Finn said quietly. “Well, it's clear to me that Poe is totally crazy about you.”

“Really?” Ben couldn't help but smile.

“Why do you think we're having this conversation? It's clear that you two are about to be an item and I felt the need to give you the heads up, from my side, about hurting Poe.”

“I wouldn't. Not any more. I am no longer that Jedi.”

“I believe you,” Finn said, quietly. Both stared at each other, a moment. Ben felt an understanding pass between them.

“Take care,” Finn said.

As he departed the room, Ben went through the conversation, his mind doing somersaults. To be an item with Poe, as Finn described it; to actually be in a relationship with one that he cared for, that he truly wanted, cherished.

Loved.

_I'm going to tell him._

Poe returned to the room and Ben inwardly steeled himself. Perhaps this would prove to be too much for him. He was already processing too much pain, to add potential rejection from Poe to it. But then, he realised that it was too late. If he didn't tell Poe, then Finn undoubtedly would.

_Remember what mum said. Stay strong._

Ben started by telling Poe what Finn had said to him.

“It's good that he's so protective of you. But he needn't be. That will never happen. You saved me, Poe. I am in your debt.”

“No, I didn't-”

“Hux, he once told me that he'd fallen in love with me. And I didn't know what to say, didn't know how to respond. I didn’t... I felt nothing for him. But you, I've...”

_Say it. Just say it._

“I've fallen in love with you,” he said, the words all running together. He felt his heart start to pound so hard it felt as though his heart was going to break through his rib cage and out of his chest.

Poe' reaction was to smile.

“Well, that's a relief to hear, because I've fallen for you. Pretty bad. And I’m not the type to fall in love, so... that's it, I guess...”

Although Ben felt inwardly elated to hear his response, it felt right, somehow, expected. There was no denying himself any longer. He knew that Poe would not respond in any other way.

“I'm not either,” Ben replied. “But you...from the moment I saw you, on Jakku... we were enemies, it was insane but...”

“You knew from then that you had fallen for me?”

_Did I?_

Ben recalled Poe, forced to his knees before him. He had never seen anyone more beautiful, had felt an instant desire to have him. But at the time, he had other priorities.

“Actually, no, at that point, I just thought you were insanely handsome and that I really wanted to have sex with you. No, it was the second time, on Jakku, when you came across me... I think, yes, I think I started falling for you, then. Didn't exactly help my already messed up state-of-mind. See I realised 'damn, he's not just some air-headed hotshot pilot.”

“So, that's it. I guess now we know,” Poe was bouncing around a little, on his feet, in clear nervous anticipation.

“Now we know.”

“So can we have wild sex now?” Poe asked.

*

“Well, I don't really have any... actually anything apart from my lightsaber,” Ben said, feeling rather self-conscious. He could feel the other Resistance member's eyes on him, some with anger, some with respect, most with curiosity. Chewbacca gave a roar and placed his arm around him, as though to shelter him.

“Chewie, you really don't need to-” He said but was secretly happy, for the mere fact that Chewbacca had forgiven him, for the murder of Han Solo. Had the reverse happened, Ben did not know if he would have had the strength to forgive Chewie.

He recalled a brief conversation he'd had with Leia, that morning, just before he was released from the infirmary.

“He forgave me! Chewbacca forgave me!”

“You have to remember that he loved you, as the boy, before Plageus turned you into Kylo Ren. Now, you've turned away from that identity. You're Ben again. Yes, of course he can forgive you. Also, he did shoot you. I'm surprised you didn't die.”

Ahead of him now, Poe was actively strutting. Chewbacca, in his wookie language, called Poe a peacock.

“Well, yes of course I am!”

Ben shook his head, smiling a little to himself.

They reached the door of Poe's room.

“Are you sure about this?” Ben asked.

Poe replied with a sunny grin that made Ben's stomach do a loop-de-loop.

“Come on in!”

Chewbacca said goodbye in wookie, and made his way back down the hall, as Poe opened the door. His room was rather simple, consisting of a made-up bed with red sheets (of course, Ben thought, grinning) a bedside table with a simple grey lamp and a book on top ( Ben noted that it was covering the works of Garibaldi), an oak wardrobe and matching chest-of-drawers, with a series of model aircraft on top, and a Garibaldi seascape landscape painting above it, and a bookcase, filled, from floor to ceiling, with books.

Ben went over to explore the bookcase, as Poe spoke.

“So, we can go to the dressmaker in town. There is plenty of space in my wardrobe and chest-of-drawers-”

“This book collection is incredible!” Ben said. Poe owned every single genre imaginable. Ben was not surprised by the large collection of books on aircraft, that took up one shelf. The collection detailing famous fine artists and sculptures, that took up another shelf, however, stunned him.

“A lot of time, between battles, to-”

Ben grabbed him by his waist, dragged him to him and kissed him soundly on the mouth, tongue hungrily exploring.

“I have a surprise...” Poe said, when they released.

“Oh...?”

“Yes,” Poe pulled away and moved to the wardrobe, opening it and pulling out a rectangular package.

“For me?”

“No, for Chewbacca. Call him back in, would you?”

Ben placed it on the bed, ripping open the packaging material. “I'm sure he's going to love his... black hooded cloak...”

“One of the other pilots, Jessica, told me about a really good dressmaker in town. I gave her your old clothes and she remade them. The cloak was salvageable. The others she pretty much had to remake from scratch. That bastard Hux had torn them up pretty badly.”

No, Ben didn't want to talk about that.

“I think I should try them on,” Ben said.

“If you want. I'll watch...” Poe grinned, jumping onto the bed and sitting up, grinning.

Ben used the Force to slam and lock the door.

“Actually, how about you undress and come here... then, when we're finished, put the entire outfit on... and come here again...”

“You're insatiable.”

“Well, if you don't want to... Fine then, I'll just pick up my book and-”

Ben lifted his finger and the book, that Poe was reaching for on his bedside table, flew across the room, onto the chest-of-drawers.

“Is there any way you can use the Force while we're making love? Because I’m pretty sure that I'd enjoy it.”

“I'm not sure how that would work,” Ben said, as he pulled his shirt off. “But I'm sure you could come up with something... inventive.”

“I'm sure I could,” Poe grinned.

*

Poe held Ben's turned-on lightsaber in his right hand, twirling it about and grinning so wide that Ben could see every one of his teeth.

“Be careful. I don't want you to hurt yourself,” Ben said.

“This is so awesome!” Poe said, moving the lightsaber about a lot more frenetically, the black shadow of the cross flitting about the room.

“Alright, that's enough,” Ben moved his hand up and the lightsaber switched off and flew back into his hands. He then shoved it down into its holster.

“It would be great to have the Force,” Poe said, climbing back onto the bed, to peck Ben on his lips.

“Well, you are a better pilot than me. Far better.”

“Your craft is such a simple piece of machinery that I figured you aren't a very confident flier.”

“Well, piloting was never my strong suite.”

“Your craft was actually the easiest I've ever flown... She did well, do you think?” He asked, running his hands over the material, of Ben's tunic.

“Do you think people will be... worried? It is very close to my Kylo Ren outfit.”

“What can I say? It suits you, gorgeous man. Besides, it's not as though you're wearing that mask. That was kinda the main part of the outfit. Without it, you just look like a guy that likes to wear black a lot.”

“So I'm your gorgeous man, am I? Is that going to be your pet name for me?”

“Sure, unless I can come up with something far more embarrassing for you,” Poe grinned. “My beautiful Ben, my sweetums cuteums-”

“Yes, I'm certain that would go down very well, when I'm trusted enough to attend a Resistance meeting. I can just see you, now standing in front of the entire Resistance and telling them that your sweetum cuteums is going to now talk.”

“It's settled, then, sweetums,” Poe grinned. Unable to resist, Ben leant forward and kissed him on his lips.

“You wouldn't even dare say it in front of Finn,” Ben said.

“You underestimate my capacity for completely embarrassing myself.”

“Not true. You're that irritatingly charming, that you can make _anything_ sound incredible. In fact, I'm now betting that you could call me sweetums, and _everyone_ around the base would then start calling _each other_ sweetums.”

This time the kiss was deeper.

“You're here. A part of me still can't believe it,” Poe's face was merely inches from his own. He could easily submerge, deep into the dark eyes. “Everything will be alright, you'll see.”

For the first time in days, Ben believed this statement to be true. He would overcome his current anguish.

“I need to talk to Rey. She's the only one I haven't talked to.”

“Ok,” Poe nodded. “Ok. Whatever you need.”

tbc...


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who are reading!
> 
> This was originally one chapter, which I've divided into two, due to length. Enjoy!

As soon as Ben and Poe stepped out of the bedroom and into the adjacent corridor, Ben suddenly became very cognisant of where he was, in conjunction with who he was. Thus, he was overcome with the sudden strong urge to rush to his space shuttle, board and fly to a planet in the far reaches of the galaxy, to live as a hermit, until the end of his life. He realised, now, that his overwhelming remorse and grief for his former actions, as Kylo Ren, had been a shield, of sorts, from the potential reprisals of other people. No one could possibly attack him, when he was already engulfed by the titanium armour of his own self-imposed prison.

Now, that he had broken free, he was fully exposed, for anyone who wished to hold him responsible for his former crimes. Ben had never considered himself a coward and refused to start now. He told himself that he would not deflect any negativity directed his way. After all the affliction that he had created, as Kylo Ren, towards the Resistance, they deserved the chance to fully hold him accountable. However, as he continued to walk the corridors of the base with Poe, these thoughts did not cease the squirm of his guts, as though a Scaldarian slug was currently eating its way through his stomach wall, whenever a fellow Resistance member passed.

“The General has been clever,” Poe whispered to him. “She has told a few, key people of what you did, how you destroyed Plageus-Snoke and rescued me. 'Few key people' meaning the biggest tattlers amongst our group. By now, everyone should know how you changed sides.”

Ben frowned, not believing that every Resistance member would be fine with, or even be believing, this change. Indeed, he could feel the distaste of himself, from some, stinging his brain, pushing out the more genial thoughts of the others.

 _He's still a traitor-_  
_… where is his punishment?_  
_…. murderer..._  
_… the genocide of billions of people!_

Deliberately forcing the spiteful thoughts out, he instead focused his mind, to search for his cousin. After concentrating for a few minutes, he felt her essence in the forest, outside the base. Finn was also there, with her.

“This way,” he directed Poe, moving them down a different corridor, to the left.

“Are you using the Force to find Rey? Wow...”

A pilot, walking towards them, suddenly stopped within reaching a few metres of them and hailed Poe. “Hey! Are you ever going to pay me the twenty altarians that you owe me?'

“It was twenty gundas, not altarians.”

“What are twenty gundas worth? Maybe a twentieth of an altarian? Interesting how you've suddenly changed the currency.”

“ _Interesting_ how you are completely ignoring my sweetums here,” Poe said, gesturing to Ben.

_He said it. He said the word._

Ben felt his face flush, inwardly telling himself that his shuttle is only a five minute walk away, and that the far reaches of the galaxy two days further than that, via hyperspace. The man looked at him and Ben caught a stray thought.

_It's really him!_

“ _Sweetums_? Damn, Poe only _you_ could get away with calling the one who was once Kylo Ren that!” The man smiled and shook his head, holding out his hand. “I...er... heard how you took out the Darth Lord. Hell of a way to change sides, I say.”

Ben looked into his eyes. The man held no lie.

“That’s what I say!” Poe said. “Listen, Mark we've got to go. And I will pay you your money, I promise!”

As soon as the man walked back down the corridor, in the opposite direction, Poe whispered. “Actually, I'd totally forgotten that I owe him the money. But I will pay him back. I've just been a bit-”

“Poe!” A dark-haired woman came up to him, embracing him. “And this must be Ben Solo!”

Again, Ben was forced to shake a hand. The stray thought from her, was not as encouraging as Mark's had been.

_What is Poe thinking? Why is he with this man?_

And so it continued. In the short walk of the base to the exit, at least a half a dozen people came up to them, to converse with Poe. Every time, Ben felt his stomach tie up in intricate knots, but then felt them loosen, as the pilots either seemed fascinated to meet him or, at the very least, regarded him with a cold politeness. Poe seemed to find it amusing, to label Ben as his 'sweetums' with every single encounter. The pilots either ignored the term of endearment, or made a comment similar to the first man; that only Poe Dameron could get away with calling his lover such a ridiculously corny pet name.

Once they stepped outside the main Resistance headquarters, Ben strode quickly along the cobbled front path, and across the well manicured grass, to the forest beyond. There were less people outside. Even so, more than a few hailed Poe to say hello.

“You seem very popular,” Ben said, once they'd reached the relative safety of the dense trees.

“Of course,” Poe said in his characteristic matter-of-fact way.

“Well, I guess you are _you_.”

“Exactly!”

Only a few more minutes into the forest, they came across a clearing. Finn stood in the centre, moving Rey's lightsaber, in Ben's mind, rather clumsily about. ( _Still,_ _looks like he's having fun!_ ) Rey, herself sat on a log, facing him and laughing and clapping. As soon as Ben and Poe entered the clearing, however, she stopped, her face becoming solemn.

“Hey there!” Finn said, switching off the lightsaber and handing it back to Rey. “Out of the infirmary, I see.”

His smile was wide and genuine. Ben found it interesting that Finn, who he had actively fought and physically hurt, bore him no ill-will, whereas other Resistance members, who he had never seen before, actively disliked him. No, he told himself to retreat from that line of thinking. His former actions, as Kylo Ren were significant enough for anyone to potentially dislike him, whether they knew him personally, or not.

“Well, if it's alright, Finn, my sweetums here would like to talk to his cousin,” Poe said.

“Sweetums...” Finn rolled his eyes. “You know, that is the worst possible pet name I've ever heard!”

“It will catch on, you'll see.”

“Yes, because it's _you_. But that's what I'm afraid of. Ok, what about you, Ben? Do you like the name?”

“I detest it. Although I do get the impression that Poe is enjoying himself. And is the _only one_ enjoying themself.”

“Hey, I’m a joy to be around,” Poe grinned, coming up and clapping Finn on the shoulder. “Come on, Finn, my awesome friend. We'll leave these two to talk.”

Rey stood up, watching the two walk away. “My awesome friend is a great pet name! Why couldn't he give you a similar one? Awesome boyfriend.”

“So you know about us?” Ben asked.

“You went back to save him. Yes, I know about you two.”

Both simply stood, facing each other a moment. Ben could feel the Force, moving between them, mingling their life forces together.

“Do you know what saddens me the most?” Rey said. “It's all the time that we lost. We could have built up a really great bond. It came back to me, you know. Luke, he placed a memory wipe on me but once I arrived back here, it all started to come back. When I was a child, you were always there for me. And I remember, on Jakku, you telling me to be quiet and hiding me and then telling the others that you hadn't seen me. I know my father wanted to protect me but I lost so much.”

Seeing the anguish in her eyes, Ben felt compelled to speak.

“You mustn't blame yourself. The Force is strong. And that includes the Darkside. It is very easy to feel tempted by it.”

“I was always a bit jealous of you, did you know? My father spent far more time with you, encouraged you. He hardly ever spent any time with me. After Plageus killed Luke, I think part of my anger at Plageus was also anger at my father. I know it doesn't make any sense-”

“It makes complete sense,” Ben said. “Plageus knew it too. He used you, as he used me.”

“I remember him, now. He was around us, from an early age. I guess he couldn't get to Luke so he went for those closest to him.” Rey took a step closer to him. “Look, I don't want you to be in pain. I forgive you.”

Ben felt more of the light enter himself, further strengthening his formerly broken soul.

“I am truly sorry about... Han Solo...”

“I know. I forgive you,” Rey repeated.

“You also need to forgive yourself,” Ben said. “I think both of us have been in a lot of pain for a very long time. Maybe it's time to move forward.”

Rey nodded, tears slipping down her face. “I think you're right.”

She reached out her hand. He took it. For a moment, both stood, hands held out towards each other, grasped tightly. Ben could feel her power moving through her body, merging with his.

Rustling sounded behind them. Both released hands and turned. Rey gasped. The spirit of Luke, transparent yet glowing was walking before them, into the clearing.

“Rey... Ben...”

“Father!” Rey said.

“I'm sorry, Rey. I'm sorry I wasn't the father that I could have been. And Ben, I'm sorry too.”

“No, I'm sorry. I ruined everything for you-”

“No more of that talk, Ben. You can continue to blame yourself. That is your choice. But I forgive you. Your father forgives you. He did the moment you put the lightsaber through him.”

Ben momentarily looked down, covering his face, not bearing to look at Luke. Warm tears splashed onto his hand. An arm suddenly went around him, a strong hand gripping his shoulder; Rey, he realised.

“I need to see him,” Ben said, looking up.

“I'm sorry, Ben. He was never a Jedi. Therefore, where he is, he can't return from.”

Ben nodded, bitterly understanding.

“You two have each other. Stay close. Keep each other strong. I will be here, if you need me.”

He disappeared. Ben turned to Rey and embraced her, needing the warmth and comfort of another human being. She embraced him back, tightly.

“You learnt the Force so quickly,” Ben said, as they released. Rey took a piece of cloth out of her pocket.

“It's clean, I promise,” she said.

He took the cloth off her and used it to wipe his face. “It surprised me.”

“I could see, from your face,” she said, smiling. “After you captured me, when you took off the mask...I couldn’t remember you, yet. But I knew that face. I'm sorry I slashed it. And glad, for your sake, that you managed to heal the scar.”

“Maybe I deserved it. Yes, I deserved it.”

“I kept seeing you, in my dreams, while I was training with Luke. I thought it was because you were going to be my downfall. It turned out that you were going to be my saviour. That's twice now. I owe you, big time.”

“I'm sure you'll get your chance. There will undoubtedly be another First Order for us to fight. They'll just call themselves something different.”

“I agree,” she said. “You know what, Ben?” She smiled. “I'm glad we can be cousins.”

“So am I.”

They started to walk back through the forest together.

“You know, now that I no longer have to scavenge, I sort of miss it. It was fun, going through old Star Destroyers,” Rey said.

“You'll have to come up with a new hobby.”

Rey was silent a moment. “I was thinking... I want to leave here. Not for long, just for a little while. I feel... after everything... I need some time by myself... Funny to say, after twenty years of doing exactly that. But I want some time, alone, to explore myself more. Explore my powers.”

“I understand,” Ben said.

“I've been putting off telling Finn. He's my best friend but I can't... I need to do this alone.”

“Sounds like you've already made up your mind. If it's what you truly feel you need to do, then he'll understand.”

In that instant, BB8 came rolling up towards them.

“BB8!” Rey yelled, smiling.

With a lot of excited whirs and beeps, BB8 asked them if they were finished with their conversation, as Poe and Finn were just ahead.

“Yes, we're done,” Rey said, after a confirming nod from Ben.

BB8 then rolled towards Ben, lightly running into his leg. Ben realised that she was being playful.

“Very cute,” he grinned.

*

Once they'd arrived back in Poe's room, Ben felt as though he'd run a gauntlet of well-intentioned people, all determined to talk to Poe. The pilot ignored only one of them. A moon faced man had stepped directly into their path, just before the corridor leading to their room.

“So, this is the famous Ben Solo? Why haven't you introduced us, Poe?”

Poe had reacted by placing his arm around Ben's shoulder and hurrying him along.

“Great lay, isn't he?” The man had called out. “I’ve had him. The rest of the Resistance has had him.”

_What? Who is this rude man?_

Ben then stopped walking and turned back to the man.

“I don’t care how many have come before me. He's with me now.”

The man had flushed bright scarlet turned and scurried back down the hall.

Now, hearing Poe close and lock the door behind them, Ben started to talk.

“Who _was_ that man?”

“He was the one I with before you. The terrible sex I was telling you about.”

“Oh _that_ one. What an absolute-”

“Ben you should know that I... I'm completely fine with my past. I had sex with a lot of people. And that's ok-”

Ben thought of the one partner he'd had before Poe and suddenly felt rather inadequate.

“It was always just... it was never serious. I told myself that I didn't care to enter into a serious relationship. I was having fun. It was true. But now...that's behind me. I want to be with you. And only you.”

“You must thing I'm so... naive..” Ben said.

“No, not at all. Out of all of them, the best sex, has been with you. Because you're the only one that I ever fell in love with. See the difference? You blow apart my world baby!” Poe said, grinning. Ben couldn't help but momentarily return the grin, before recalling the feelings of Poe's friends, towards him, and feeling his upper lip curl back down.

“Your friends... Many of them do not trust me. They are civil to me because of the affection that they hold for you. I will have to work to build their trust. This is fair.”

“Well, they should know that I'm no idiot. I've chosen you, so they should respect that and respect you. We'll have to get you more clothes...” Poe said, suddenly sounding distracted. “I have no idea about this kind of stuff. I only buy new clothes when my old ones are literally falling off me. We can go back to the dressmaker and-”

“Tell me about your parents,” Ben said, suddenly having the urge to know.

“My parents?” Poe looked surprised by the question. He walked over and sat down at the edge of the bed. “Great people. I never went without. I was an only child, you see. Yeah, they spoilt me rotten.”

Ben couldn't help but smile. He sat down at the edge of the bed, beside Poe.

“My father died when I was twelve. You already saw that.”

The mind rape, in the torture room on Starkiller Base. Ben inwardly flinched.

“Mum remarried three years later. I thought that I'd hate him because of dad. But my step-dad, Tobin...he is a great man. He could never replace dad but he was really good to me.”

“When did you last see them?”

“I haven't visited for a while. They tend to move around a bit. A year ago, they moved to Flavin 4. I'm so glad that's not considered one of the Republic planets. They would be dead, right now. Along all of those billions of others.” Poe was quiet for a long moment. “Where were you? When the first Starkiller Base was fired?”

“I was... I was on the First Order Starcraft. I couldn't bear to be on the planet. I watched the launch... felt the horror of those who had died. I had to block it out. It was too much. When Hux told Plageus that he was going to launch the weapon, I... I remember thinking that I couldn't believe that he was actually going to do it.”

“And yet you did nothing to stop it.”

“No, I didn't.” Ben said, feeling twin tears spill down his cheeks.

Poe caught his eyes, an odd flatness in the usual warm irises.

“I took no joy in it. Unlike Hux.”

Ben recalled the cold, emotionless sex with Hux after the Starkiller Base was fired, his absolute need to punish himself. Hux, on the other hand, appeared to be utterly enjoying himself.

Poe said nothing, simply continued to stare at him. Ben realised that he could easily read his thoughts with a little prodding but then decided against it. No more, would he deliberately rape Poe's mind in such a way.

“Would you like me to leave?” Ben asked.

“My parents could be dead right now!” Poe suddenly shouted. “While you watched! No, participated! Billions of other parents. Children. Now gone. As if they never existed!”

Ben didn't know what to say. Poe wasn't saying anything that he hadn't already rebuked himself with.

“I'll take my leave,” Ben said, standing up.

“Fine then, run away, run away from the truth! You wanted to play dress-up and act the bad guy. But these are real people who died!”

Ben simply stood, watching him. Everything that Poe was saying was the truth. But Ben had no words, to even begin to express the enormity of the guilt he felt for what he'd participated in.

The flush retreated from Poe's face, his eyes suddenly widening.

“Oh Ben, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said that.”

“You were only telling the truth-”

“No, I lost my temper. I already know that you are remorseful for all of your crimes as Kylo Ren. It was absolutely terrible of me to simply add to your pain.”

“You were right. I did nothing! I just stood by and let it happen.”

“Well, when it came down to it, you probably wouldn't have been able to do anything anyway. If you'd tried, you probably would have just been killed.”

“I guess, I always saw it as separate from me. That was Hux's plan. I just wanted the map, to get to Luke Skywalker.”

Poe patted the space next to him. “I'm sorry, really, I am. I feel awful for just yelling at you, like that. Let's not talk about this. It's just going over old ground.... unless you _want_ to talk about it, of course.”

Ben sat next to him, once more.

“You have a right to be angry with me. Everyone here has the right to be angry with me. I just feel so exhausted.”

He felt Poe's fingers lightly combing through his hair.

“I'm glad you and Rey talked things through,” Poe said.

“I'm sorry that I...There is no punishment-”

“No, don't do this to yourself. I was in the wrong. I was the one who lost my temper.”

“I can never make up for the billions who died, under the First Order. I was a part of that.”

He looked into Poe's warm brown eyes.

“Tell me what to do. I'll do anything. Anything at all.”

“Recite me a poem,” Poe said. “A Dargassian poem.”

“They're difficult to translate...” Ben said. “I can speak the language but-”

“You don't need to translate. Just tell me one in their language.”

Ben thought of one of his favourite Dargassian poems. It involved a man who shunned society, living in a deep, dark cave for many years. Finally, a miniature sleen lizard came to visit him, convinced him to come out of the cave. When he did come out, the beauty of the outside world was so immense, that he instantly turned into a firebird and flew up to such dizzying heights that his feathers became singed by the sun. He flew back down and turned into a sleen lizard, where he spent the remainder of his days, content, with his fellow lizards.

“Diallo de jena ph'raisaca,” Ben began.

It was a simple story but was written in such an eloquent fashion, the imagery so crisp, that, upon recitation, Ben felt tears prick his eyes.

“Ono tel vraitelain-” Ben was about halfway through the poem, when he was stopped, by Poe's lips on his. They fell back onto the bed, caressing, kissing each other, slowly removing items of clothing. Poe grabbed the lube from atop the chest-of-drawers and covered Ben with his body, slowly nudging his legs apart and tenderly inserting his fingers inside him. Ben closed his eyes, moaning, allowing himself to be overtaken by the simple pleasure of their loving act.

As Poe carefully entered him, Ben looked into his eyes. There was no coldness or anger there, only love, lust, warmth, combined with Poe's usual teasing and good humour.

“I see you liked the poem,” Ben said, wryly.

Poe responded by leaning down and kissing him soundly on the mouth, slowly moving. Ben started to undulate with him, their bodies reciprocating the loving dance. After a few minutes, even though he could feel the warmth of Poe's body atop of his, the softness of his lips, the lightness of his touch, Ben realised that he wanted more.

He tenderly rolled Poe, until he was his back, then, still looking down at him, moved up to a sitting position.

“Oh yes...” Ben had never tried this position before. As he started rocking up and down, he realised the power involved, in taking charge in such a way. He slowed down, then sped up, controlling the speed of their lovemaking. It was a blessing, to be both submissive, to Poe in allowing him to fill him, but also to be dominant. Poe's body was heaving, his dark eyes fixed on Ben's.

“Please, finish for me, Ben. Finish for me. You're so beautiful...”

Ben deliberately slowed down, grinding himself, allowing himself to pull back from the brink of absolute pleasure. He bent down low, kissing Poe's cheek.

“How about you finish for me? And I'll finish inside you.”

“I could...” Poe moaned. “Yes, I could go with that plan...”

Smirking, Ben rose up to his knees, once more, deliberately moving fast, thrusting himself up and down, relishing in Poe's thick girth inside of himself.

“Damn you're just so alluring... so incredible...” Poe groaned.

“So are you going to finish?” Ben grinned down.

“Greedy aren’t you?”

“Only for you.”

“Well,” Poe panted. “You’re about to get your wish because I’m about to...” He then screamed and Ben felt his release deep inside of himself. Poe withdrew himself, as he pulled Ben down for a deep kiss, handing him the lube.

“I want to make love all night,” Poe said, as Ben kissed his neck, and started to prepare him. “I want to be in you and for you to be in me. I want to taste every part of you, kiss every single bit of your flesh.”

“Sounds exhausting... I'll think about it...” Ben teased.

“You had better not be exhausted enough not to be in me, right now.”

Poe moved back down on his back and Ben slowly entered him, kissing him all over his face and neck. He then started to move, resting his entire length on Poe's, needing to feel his warmth, the strength of his muscles over bones.

“I need you... please you saved me...I won't go back. Not ever.”

“Sh...” Poe's arms went around his back, his legs around his waist. “Just love me... love me...”

As he thrusted, Ben breathed into his neck, as he did during their first lovemaking session, in the torture room. He had craved Poe's warmth then, his essence. A stray thought from Poe entered his mind.

_… whatever he needs..._

Ben came to a sudden ephiphany. He had everything he needed; the light, the Force, his mother and Poe. It was as though the walls of his mind were suddenly torn down, blasted away, the light streaming in, so powerful it was almost blinding. Ben wasn't even aware that he had climaxed. He felt disconnected from himself, a though he had been flung from his own body. He gradually came back to the present, finding himself weeping against the flesh of Poe's neck. Poe was speaking to him. It took a moment to realise what he was saying.

“What have I done? What's wrong?”

Ben looked up, into the radiant, yet concerned face, as he tenderly removed himself from Poe's body.

“Nothing! I've just... I've finally given myself completely to the light. I still feel utter remorse, yes. But I no longer feel the fullness of the anguish of it. And it's beautiful. It's just so beautiful.”

He could see, from Poe's face, that he wasn't entirely sure what this meant.

“I feel the Force, all around us... connecting us. There is so much good in it. So much love.”

“That's beautiful, Ben. I wish I could feel it. But I'm glad you do. I really am. I wanted so badly for you to come back. I told myself it was for Leia. But I think... ultimately it was for me.” Poe cupped his face. “I really do love you, you know?”

“I know...” They touched lips, taking their time, stroking, kissing.

“I want to know everything about you,” Poe said. “Now that you're Ben again, I'm going to discover every facet of you... starting with this spectacular body.”

*

“Well...” Poe said, still wildly panting. “Think I'll sleep now for a very long time.”

He leant forward and kissed Ben on the lips, before dragging both down to the bed and pushing his warmth lithe body against his lover's as he pulled the blankets up.

Poe had kept to his word, spending time kissing Ben on every single part of his body, commenting on parts he found particularly beautiful, which appeared to be most of it, even parts Ben wouldn't consider; his left elbow, his right foot, his belly button. Other, more particular areas he very specifically concentrated on. Poe had wiped Ben's erection clean, using the sheets, before placing his head to it, kissing it up and down, and then moving it into his throat. After Ben reached the height of passion, Poe had then continued his journey of his body, moving down his legs and feet. By the time he reached up to his waist, Ben was showing signs of interest, once more. Poe then used his mouth to garner more interest, before riding him until both cried out their height of passion.

Poe had then rolled him over onto his front and then started to slowly kiss him down the other side, down his back to his buttocks, again using the blanket to wipe the release seeping from him, before using his tongue and lips to bring him up to attention once more. More passionate lovemaking followed.

“You are amazing,” Ben said, wiping Poe's hair back from his face.

“I know,” Poe grinned.

“There's something I have to tell you”

Poe placed his face on the palm of his hand and focused on him, giving him his full attention.

“I saw Luke Skywalker today. His Force ghost came to me and Rey. Told me that he forgives me. That my father forgives me.”

“Wow you saw Luke Skywalker? That's so great!” Poe leant forward and kissed him on his lips. “There's something I have to tell you. When I met up with you, in the Jakku dreamscape, I...I encountered your grandfather, Anakin.”

“You saw Anakin?”

“He introduced himself. Said he couldn't get through to you, to deter you from the path. He was the one that set up the dreamscape between us. Of course, I remember at the time thinking it was pretty useless meeting him if he wasn't going to tell me _how_ to get you off the path of destruction that you were on.”

“I want to see him. Why haven't I seen him? Is he too ashamed of me?”

“No, Ben. I seriously doubt that. He doesn't blame you. No one who loves you blames you. Listen, sweetums-”

“Oh no not that again! You listen here cutey-Poe-pie-”

“I like that one,” Poe smirked. “I dare you to say that in front of your mother.”

“As... _thrilling_ as it is, the idea of embarrassing myself in front of mum, I'll pass thank you.”

“So you don't want to show any signs of affection towards me in front of your mother?”

“No, I just don't want to call you a ridiculous pet name. You'll recall mum also has the Force. She already knows how I feel about you.”

“And how's that?”

“You already know. I'm not going to inflate your already massive ego.”

“I don't think it could be inflated any more.”

Ben leant over and kissed his cheeks, his nose, his chin.

“I love you,” Ben whispered.

“Good.”

“Good? Is that all you have to say? Good?”

“I have my sweetums in my bed with me so yes, all is good.”

“If you call me that one more time, then I will be forced to recant not using the Darkside.”

“Sweetums,” Poe grinned.

“I'm just encouraging you, aren't I?”

Poe rested his head on Ben's chest. Ben reached up and ran his fingers through his hair, feeling warm, protected, loved.

A distant voice came to him, out of the ether. Luke.

_You deserve to be happy, Ben._

“I do feel blessed,” Ben said.

“Of course,” Poe murmured. “You're with me.”

“I think we need a separate room, for your ego.”

“Mmm...” Poe's breath was becoming more deep and even.

“Maybe I should perform a Jedi mind-trick on you to stop calling me sweetums. I'm sure the rest of the base would appreciate it. You managed to embarrass not only me but about fifty people today, with that fun of yours.”

“It was fun,” Poe admitted. “I kept seeing how far I could push it and people just kept taking it. It was hilarious!”

“Not for me,” Ben said.

“I'm sorry, gorgeous. But, the truth is, that I don't care what they think of you. I feel proud that your my partner and I want everyone to see how crazy I am about you. Now, I really need to sleep. I'll say good night, Ben.”

“Goodnight,” Ben said, closing his eyes and savouring the feel of the beloved man, in his arms.

Tbc...


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go! Thank you to all who have followed this so far, particularly those who have sent kudos and commented. Hope you enjoy this one :)

From Poe's deep, even breathing, it was clear that he was sleeping, rather soundly, on Ben's chest. As much as Ben enjoyed such close intimacy with his adorable, beloved partner, the fact was that Poe's head was rather heavy. Also, their combined body temperatures, were causing Ben to sweat rather profusely. He decided that perhaps this was a good opportunity to spend some time with his mother. Now that he'd completely shed himself of the rather antisocial Kylo Ren, longing for another's company was a new experience for Ben Solo. Increasingly, of late, he needed his mother, in particular; to sate his yearning for the uncomplicated love and affection that she bore for him. Moreover, he genuinely liked her, found her to be a smart, dry and caring companion.

Ben reached out, using the Force, to touch her mind. She was walking the corridors, not far from Poe's bedroom, thoughts replete with concern about what would happen, now that the First Order had been (mainly) destroyed. He then sensed her sensing him, felt her move into his own mind.

_Ben... if you'd like to take a walk with your old ma, then you're more than welcome to come to me._

_Yes, mum._

Ben carefully manoeuvred himself out from under Poe, grabbing a pillow and sliding it under his partner's curly hair, before moving down to kiss his cheek, taking a moment to admire his lissome sleeping form.

“I'll be back soon , beautiful,” he whispered. Poe didn't stir.

Ben then stood and quickly dressed before moving out of the room, quietly closing the door behind himself. He then walked swiftly down the corridor, now rendered dark blue, by the slow rise of the sun, the light intercut by the phasma globes, bracketed on the walls, which cast an almost surreal orange glow under their direct focus.

“He's using you, you know.”

Startled, Ben swiftly turned around. The moon-faced man had been standing behind him. Ben searched the corridor, attempting to pinpoint where he had come from. Had he been loitering near Poe's bedroom?

_Disturbing thought..._

“Once the slut has had his fill, he'll move on to someone else.”

“I'd appreciate you not calling him that,” Ben said.

The moon-faced man started to walk closer to him.

“He's a whore, a slut-”

“You will not call Poe Dameron those words again,” Ben said, lifting his hand up, concentrating the Force. “In fact, when you think of Poe Dameron and me being together, you will be filled with joy for him. And me.”

He lowered his hand.

“I'm so happy that you and Poe are a couple!” The moon-faced man suddenly said, reaching out his hand. Ben shook it.

“You will also leave us alone and not bother either of us,” Ben said. “And you will not loiter near our room.”

“I'll leave you alone, now. Goodbye!”

As the man then wordlessly walked past him down the corridor, Ben heard movement behind himself. He turned, to face his mother.

“That was a tad naughty, Ben,” she smiled. “Using the Force on him, like that.”

“You heard what he called Poe?”

“I didn’t say that he didn't deserve it,” she said.

Leia then continued to walk down the corridor, with Ben pacing, alongside her. The lack of the usual bustling activity, due to the earliness of the hour, combined with the bluish tinge to the surroundings added an almost eerie feel to their stroll. It brought to mind a painting from Poe's Garibaldi book; a young girl, in a pink dress, walking down a long, dark corridor, that went on endlessly into the distance. Upon seeing it, Ben had remarked on the form and colour. Poe had simply shrugged, stating that he didn't think it was one of the artist's better ones.

“I don't think Rey will be here much longer,” Leia said.

“I agree.”

“But she will be back.”

“Well, I have no need to go anywhere. My place is right here,” Ben said.

Leia suddenly stopped walking, turned and embraced him.

“My son, my beautiful son.”

They released.

“Is there anything you need, Ben?”

“No, not really. I just wanted to see you,” Ben said, feeling the blood rise on his cheeks.

“Good, because I wanted to see you too.”

As they started to walk again, Ben concentrated the Force, moving his thoughts out towards her.

_A lot of them don't like me. I can sense it. It will take time to build their trust._

_You will, Ben. I have great faith in you._

_I will never go back, mum. You should know this. Never._

_I know._

_I will do everything I can to make amends._

Leia stopped walking and took both of his hands in hers.

“I have my Ben back. That's all I care about. It may be selfish. But I don't care.”

  _I love you, my beautiful son, so much._

She let go of his hands and they continued to walk, once more. For his part, Ben felt a little to overwhelmed to speak, either in thought or the use of his vocal chords.

“And Poe? How is my dashing best pilot? I hope you're taking good care of him.”

It occurred to Ben that Poe, of all people, did not need anyone to take care of him.

“Surely, you would know by now that Poe is a lot more vulnerable than he comes across,” Leia said.

_Well, of course, but Poe can very much take care of himself. That's part of what makes him Poe._

_I agree, son but everyone needs taking care of, every now and then._

_I will give him anything that he needs. Anything at all._

_I know you will. I see you two are very good for each other.... Oh, look who's here!_

Ben heard a growl behind him, followed by a hairy arm that went around his chest, hugging him tightly.

“Chewie missed you, too,” Leia said, smiling. “He's very happy to have Ben Solo back.”

“I kind of guessed that,” Ben said, leaning back into the hug. 

*

Ben returned to the room, locking the door and slipping into the covers next to Poe, before spooning up behind him.

“Poe?” He reached his arm around to lightly stroke his stomach. Poe did not move. Ben kissed his ear, and then placed his head behind Poe on the pillow, closing his eyes and feeling the warm embrace of sleep take him.

*

Hills of pale sand, in every direction. A dim camp-fire to the north. Ben turned to Poe, beside himself. Both spoke at the same time.

“Jakku.”

“Well,” Poe said, taking his hand. “We might as well go sit by the camp-fire and wait.”

“There is no need,” Ben said. “He is here.”

“Who is-?”

The figure came over the sand dune towards them. Even though Ben had never met him, he instantly knew who it was. Feeling his legs start to tremble, Ben almost swooned down to his knees. He told himself to stay upright.

His grandfather deserved to look directly in the eyes, of the one who had so hideously betrayed his memory.

Anakin was clad not in the black of his Vader outfit, but the frayed brown cloak and shirt and leggings of the simple man that he could have been. His face was careworn but free of the scars that would have disfigured his flesh, as Vader. All three were silent, until he stood within a metre of Ben and Poe. The older man then started talking.

“Ben...I have waited so long to see you, to talk to you. I know what you’ve suffered. I made the exact same mistakes that you did. It seems to be the Skywalker curse. But you succeeded where I didn't. You managed to turn to the light without sacrificing yourself in the process.”

“Please forgive me, grandfather. There are no words to describe my utter... there are no words. I was a fool, enacting such vulgarity, in your name.”

“Not in my name, Ben. Darth Vader. But he is dead now. So is Kylo Ren. We were both victimised, Ben. You by Plageus and myself by Palpatine. We allowed them to brainwash us. But you, my dear grandson, you fought against it. You did what I could not, not until the very end of my life. I am proud of you.”

Ben closed his eyes, allowing the words to wash over him, bathing in their sincerity, his entire body now trembling. He could feel Poe squeeze his hand tighter.

_It is finally over._

He felt a dim sense of liberation move through his soul, cleansing, erasing the anguish of his recent past. His grandfather was right. He had succeeded, but not in the way that he had thought he would.

_Perhaps it was always going to end this way, for me._

“Maybe it's not a curse but a blessing. Maybe the Skywalkers, even if they fall to the dark, will always eventually go back to the light,” Ben said.

Rather than the anger and reproach that Ben had expected, Anakin's smile was replete with love. “I think you might be right. And Poe... Thank you, thank you. You brought back my grandson. You did it.”

“Well, I didn't exactly-”

“Now be together. Be happy.”

*

Ben awoke, once more, in the warmth of Poe's- of his and Poe's bed.

“You are magical, you know that?” Poe asked, face merely inches from his own. Ben was about to reply, when Leia's voice came into his head.

_Ben come to the hangar now. Rey is leaving._

“We need to get up,” Ben said, shooting up from the bed and practically tumbling to the floor. “Get dressed,” he grabbed Poe's clothes from the carpet and threw them at him.

“Why the rush? Are we about to be attacked or something?”

“Rey is leaving. Right now.”

*

When Ben and Poe stepped onto the landing dock, he was unsurprised to see Leia already standing on the tarmac, with Chewbacca and R2D2. Finn was embracing Rey tightly. When they pulled away, he wiped his eyes. Though there was a slight flush to her skin, Rey's eyes were clear.

“I guess there was no chance that I would be able to 'go away quietly,'” she said smiling, upon seeing Ben and Poe.

Ben stepped forward.

“You know why I have to do this, why I have to leave.”

“Just as I have to stay.”

Both embraced each other. “I look forward to seeing you again soon, cousin,” Rey said.

Ben nodded, then released her, moving back, to allow Leia and then Chewbacca to step forward, into Rey's embrace. He felt Poe take his hand. Rey looked at Poe and nodded.

All were silent, as Rey then boarded the millennium falcon. After a few long moments, it shot up into the atmosphere and Rey was gone.

Leia gently touched Ben on the arm, then signalled to Chewbacca and R2D2. As they departed, Poe turned to Finn, his sympathy clear, on his face.

“She explained why she had to do it, why she had to go but...” Finn said.

“Doesn't make it any less terrible for you. Come on, Finn, I owe you a drink.”

“Cheesy ex-Empire bar?” Finn had not lost his mournful expression.

“Sounds good.”

Ben stood awkwardly by them, unsure if he was also invited. Finn then looked directly at him.

“Well, I'll-” Ben didn't need to be told to leave.

“You can come too, if you like,” Finn said.

Ben could not help the smile that graced his lips. “Sure, if you want me to.”

“There are three speed-racers over here,” Poe said.

*

Ben never entirely understood the allure of alcohol. As far as he was concerned, it simply turned others into complete fools. Many years before, after a few of Luke's apprentices snuck off, one night, to indulge. Ben had seen the erratic behaviour of his comrades and had then made a rule. If one was to join the Knights of Ren, they would also be joining a life of total sobriety.

While he nursed a guarvian juice, Finn and Poe had downed two pints of dark ale each and were now decidedly giggly. Poe stood up, knocking their table with his upper thigh. A little of Ben's drink sloshed up over the rim of his mug.

“Another round?” Poe asked, as Ben grabbed a napkin and started mopping up the spilled drink, noticing the grime covering the tabletop.

_This is disgusting! How can Ben and Finn stand coming to this place?_

Finn nodded.

Ben then watched Poe leave, beelining for the bar, only to be instantly intercepted by a comrade.

“The man just oozes likeability,” Finn said. “I think I'm going to make it my life mission to find the one person in the galaxy who actively despises him.”

“You already did. General Hux,” Ben pointed out.

“But that had nothing to do with him. It was all to do with you. Honestly, what was the deal with you two? When I was a stormtrooper, I never saw Hux lose even the slightest bit of control. But then, in the final battle, he abandoned his post, to try and rape and murder us all. And it all seemed to stem from some kind of argument he was having with you.”

“There was an... unfortunate misunderstanding between us. He wanted more than I was willing to give him.”

Finn looked puzzled. Inwardly sighing, Ben decided to elaborate.

“He seemed to think that the occasional bouts of intimacy that we shared meant that we were somehow destined to be together. This was never going to happen. And then, after I met Poe, he seemed determined to blame him. It wasn't Poe's fault. I just couldn't make Hux see that even without Poe, I was not interested in him in that way.”

A new light came into Finn's dark eyes.

“He fell for you didn't he? Wow, I can't imagine Hux falling for anyone... Still, it's pretty damned messed up. Just because he had feelings for you doesn't mean you were obligated towards him in any way. Besides, Hux or Poe? Nah, Hux didn't stand a chance.”

“As part of my training, I was forced to kill him, and bring him back, as you know I did with my mother. He told me, that when he was dead, he was trapped in a grey place... Maybe he's in that place now.”

“If he is, he deserves it,” Finn said.

“Who deserves what?” Poe asked, coming back to the table and slamming the drinks down, before sidling back next to Ben.

“We were discussing that little rat, Hux. His afterlife is a cold, grey place. Good.”

Poe shrugged, reached out and grabbed the hand of Ben's that was resting on the tabletop and held it in his own, while lifting his mug, to take a sip of his ale.

The pilot, who had accosted Poe earlier, with two of his friends beside him, approached the table.

“We're off now. Bye Poe!”

Rather than release Ben's hand, Poe placed the glass down and waved.

“You could have invited them to sit with us,” Finn said, watching the three amble towards the door.

“Hey, I'm here with my best Finn and my best Ben,” he said, lifting Ben's hand and kissing it. “And _only_ you two.”

“And so now we'll have to scour the galaxy to destroy any other Bens or Finns that may usurp those titles,” Ben said, earning a smile from Finn.

“No, there can be no better Finns or Bens,” Poe said.

“I don't know. I'm sure there's a Finn out there who can cook you up a mean pastrami. I bet you'd dump me for him, in an instant,” Finn said.

“Well, I'm sure if he found a better Ben, I could always go back to being Kylo Ren. Albeit in name, only. Until, of course, Poe finds a better Kylo.”

“This one will not only take out his father but his mother, his brother and the family dog!” Finn suddenly clamped his mouth shut, a look of horror coming over his face. He'd clearly thought that he'd gone too far, with the joke.

“The entire time complaining that he is still not as powerful as his once powerful grandparents, yes I see it,” Ben said.

Relief washed over Finn's face and he laughed.

“Maybe I can build up a collection of Bens, Kylos and Finns. Take a different one out, every day-” Poe stopped, as the moon-faced man suddenly stopped in front of the table.

“Wow! You two! You two are just such an adorable couple!”

“Ah... thank you...” Poe said, sounding mystified, as the man practically skipped off. “What was that about?”

“I er... I may have used a Jedi mind trick on him,” Ben said. “I ran into him in the corridor this morning and didn't like the way he spoke about you, Poe, so I used a Jedi mind trick to... persuade him that our relationship is a good one.”

Finn and Poe looked at each other then burst out laughing.

“Now I'm truly starting to see what you see in this guy,” Finn joked to Poe.

*

As soon as they closed the door behind themselves, Poe drunkenly threw his arms around Ben, kissing him on his neck, as his hands felt under his clothes, seemingly desperate to touch flesh.

“Come on, Poe, you're drunk,” Ben said, attempting to disentangle him, with some difficulty. Poe's drunkenness had not eliminated his strength.

“Damn, Poe you're strong!”

“I want you...” Poe said, edging him towards the bed.

“Not like this.”

Poe finally pulled his head up, to look up to him. “Like what?”

Poe looked so utterly adorable, in his drunkenness, that Ben was more than tempted to simply give him everything that he wanted.

“I'm sober. You're not. I refuse to take advantage of you, while you're in that state.”

“It's not taking advantage, believe me.”

“Just... hold on a few seconds, alright?”

Poe momentarily acquiesced, allowing Ben to move him over to the bed and gently place him on top, taking off his boots. He then sat on the edge, taking off his own, before climbing in beside Poe.

“So... let's make love?” Poe asked, kissing him on the neck, once more.

“So.... let's not?” Ben replied.

Poe pulled away, almost comically frowning. “I can't believe you're turning me down! No one has ever turned me down!”

“Well, life is full of surprises! I can't believe you're...” Ben couldn't help but laugh at Poe's clear irritation.

_I'll admit he's being very adorable, indeed, right now._

“I don't want to make love with you right now, alright?”

“Alright,” Poe said. Ben gave him a chaste kiss on his lips, before moving to snuggle up beside him, pulling the blanket up over them.

“Sometimes I think...” Poe began.

Ben leant up and rested his chin on his hand, looking down at him. “What?”

“Sometimes I think that's the only way people see me. Either as just the ace pilot, or the slut who will sleep with everything that moves.”

Ben questioned whether, if it weren't for the alcohol, Poe would be talking in such a way.

“There are only three people, who see me as anything else. Finn, Leia and you. I guess Rey too. Although I don't really know her that well.”

“People absolutely adore you, Poe-”

“They adore the image. They don't know the real me.”

“I don't think that's true.”

“I said no one has ever turned me down. I'm realising now that I've never turned anyone down. I was such a whore for attention, anyone who gave me the slightest hint of attraction-”

“Is that what happened with me?” Ben asked, feeling his innards suddenly twist.

“No, that was different. I wanted you. It was as simple as that.”

“Tell me something...” Ben said, smiling. “Tell me something from the 'real you'.”

“Like what?”

“Something you've never told anyone.”

Poe seemed to consider the question. He then sat up. Ben likewise moved up, to face him.

“I think I just did.”

Ben nodded, suddenly utterly aware of the trust, that Poe had placed in him.

“Your turn,” Poe said.

Ben considered the concept.

_Something I have never told anyone..._

“Every time I think about Plageus... how he manipulated me... I just feel so ashamed. I know I shouldn't... And the fact that he took everything that was good in my life and made it feel wrong. When I let Hux have sex with me... and it was always him taking me, never the other-way-around...it always felt wrong, but it felt good that it was so wrong. And then when it was clear that he'd fallen for me, it felt even better, knowing that I could never reciprocate. He would treat me like his personal sex doll and that's exactly what I wanted. Everything was just so messed up.”

“That's all over now. You're safe now.”

“It's never felt wrong with you, Poe. Well, maybe that first time. No, not wrong more...weird...”

“Yes, well I understand that.” Poe paused, a scowl coming over his refined features. “I hate Plageus. What he did to you. How he hurt you. I'm glad that he's dead. That you were the one to kill him.”

“Poe...” Ben leant forward and they locked lips, tongues gently melding together.

“But no sex tonight,” Poe teased, as they pulled away.

“No, not tonight. I promise to ravish you, once you're sober, in the morning.”

“I'd better sober up then!” Poe laughed, lying down on the bed. Ben followed, curling up against him.

*

Ben woke up to a weight on his back. Disgruntled, he rolled over to his side. The weight moved with him.

“Finally, he awakes!” Poe whispered in his ear. “Did you know how lovely you look, when you're asleep? So peaceful.”

“So you decided to clamber all over me?”

“Well, I tried talking to you. It didn't work. So, I thought climbing on top of you would. And I was right. You'll be happy to know that I'm sober now.”

“That's nice. Now, can I sleep some more?”

Poe thankfully climbed off him. Ben experienced a few seconds of calm, before Poe then grabbed him and threw him onto his back.

“You know, that's the first time I've been drunk and offered someone sex and they didn't take me up on the offer,” Poe said, now swinging his leg over, before resting lightly on his thighs.

_Yes, you told me that last night._

A new thought occurred, to Ben.

“In any of the other times, was the _other_ person sober?”

“Hm...sometimes...” Poe said, carefully starting to unbutton Ben's tunic.

“Please tell me the names of every single one of those people so I can run them through with my lightsaber.”

“Your protectiveness of me is rather cute, but I'm fine. I wanted the sex. I told you before. I don't regret anything.”

“Do you remember what we talked about, last night?” Ben asked, feeling his heart sink.

“To be honest, not really. I just remember you not responding to my sexual advances.”

“Because you were so drunk you can't even remember the conversation that we then had!”

“I mean I vaguely do...I remember it was pretty serious. We were having a 'deep and meaningful' weren't we? Great! And now I can't remember.”

“Don't worry about it,” Ben said, leaning up and grabbing Poe's hair, gently pushing his head down, to kiss him on his lips, deciding not to potentially embarrass Poe, by telling him about how open he had been, about how he perceived the other Resistance members' feelings about him. He had the distinct impression that Poe would be humiliated, to realise, that in his drunken state, he had showed such vulnerability.

Poe lengthened out along his body, resting it on Ben's and then, lifting his head up and, leaning his cheek on his hand, looked down at Ben.

“Seriously, though, thank you for _not_ having sex with me. It's actually quite nice that you took into account my well-being.”

“I'm not exactly a gentleman. If you'll recall the first time we had sex, was between two episodes of me forcing myself into your mind.”

“Well you were my enemy, at the time. Torture sort of goes with the territory. But the sex, I do count that as separate. Hux, he came to visit me again after did you know? He was just furious...You talked about Hux last night, didn't you? Now it's starting to come a bit back to me. The terrible way in which he treated you. And Snoke....”

“The way I _let_ them treat me.”

Poe suddenly swiftly moved off him completely and sat beside him, folding his legs up and wrapping his arms around them. Anger suddenly radiated off him with such intensity that Ben almost felt as though he could reach out and physically be burnt by it.

_Something's wrong! Is it something I did?_

“Poe?” He sat up, reaching out to touch his shoulder. Poe turned to face him and Ben felt his heart stutter. Tears were pooling in his lover's eyes.

“I've been thinking about this, a lot. And the more I think about it...What Plageus or Snoke or whatever you want to call him did to you. That was wrong!” Though Poe's tone was filled with fury, the tears now ran down his face. “That was child abuse of the sickest order! To me, it's even worse than Hux trying to rape us both. It's insidious, the fact that he was manipulating you, conditioning you, violating your mind over so many years with his darkness. You were his victim, Ben. He... he groomed you, almost like a damned child molester.”

Ben took in Poe's rage and felt a little part of himself break, but it was a clean break, a needed perforation. He felt toxins pour out, to be replaced by the light, healing him, cleansing him.

_Did I ever have a chance, really?_

Ben could not recall a time, when Plageus wasn't in his life, moulding him, directing him, violating his very psyche.

Tears now fell down his own cheeks.

“Ben, it's ok, it's ok. Remember what you said to Anakin? Skywalkers will always go back to the light. I'm so proud of you. So proud.” Poe then cupped his jaw, kissing up and down his face, trailing the path of his tears.

Plageus had ravaged his childhood, had almost destroyed him completely, as an adult. But no, he wouldn't let him. He was beyond that pathetic man. Plageus was destroyed. Poe was here, now. Flesh, bone and muscle. Full of light and laughter.

The one who accepted him, who had, from the moment they had met, seen behind the mask. Ben caught Poe's lips. As their tongues tangled, he could taste the salt of his own tears.

“It's ok..” Poe said, slipping his arms around his back and embracing him tightly, his head against Ben's shoulder. “He can't hurt you. He can't hurt you any more.”

Ben placed his arms around Poe's shoulders and relished just being there, with him, in his warmth and love and companionship.

After a while, they released.

“I really do love you, you know?” Poe asked.

Ben nodded, his reply lodged somewhere in his throat.

“Alright, plan for today? I'm assuming you'll want to see your mum and Chewbacca. And I want to touch base too. We'll see how Finn's going. Maybe come up with some non-alcoholic activity to cheer him up.”

“You don't want to make love now?”

Poe laughed. “Now who's the frisky one? I'm never going to turn down sex with you. But we do have the rest of our lives, is all I'm saying. You're more to me than just some human sex doll. I like just.. you know... being with you.”

“I realise all of that. Can we make love now? Then we can see my mum, Chewbacca and Finn.”

“Ask nicely,” Poe said.

“Please can we make love?”

Poe unzipped his trousers, pulling them, and his boxers, down his thighs. Ben found his own body respond in a very positive way, as he moved down the bed, until he was facing Poe's growing erection. Ben then moved forward, needing to taste, to lick and suck. He realised he simply wasn't as good at this, as Poe was. However, from Poe's moans, he was doing alright.

Ben then stood up and both hastily removed their clothes, before falling onto the bed, kissing and stroking each other. After a few minutes of careful preparing, Ben was inside Poe's beautiful body, the pilot's legs wrapped up over his shoulders, his mouth open and moaning.

“See, isn't this better when you're sober?” Ben asked.

“Roll over,” Poe demanded, unhooking his feet. “I want to get on top.”

Ben rolled them until he was on his back, allowing Poe to slide up and down on top of him, head flung back and moaning, like the vixen he was, knowing exactly the unearthly pleasure he was giving him. Poe grabbed Ben's legs and hooked them up, until his feet were flat on the bed. He saw Poe feel around for the lube, before grinning, as he popped open the lid and covered his fingers with the viscous substance. Ben was then so overwhelmed by the combined pleasure of Poe's lubed fingers moving inside of him, slowly pressing up against his prostate, and the tight heat inside Poe's body he was thrusting up into, that he didn't even realise that the person he could now hear moaning, was himself. Poe then started to time his movements up and down, with the stroking of his fingers.

“Poe...” Ben moaned.

“Mmm... you like that, gorgeous?” Poe said, his strong thighs grinding in a powerful motion, his eyes so lustrous and dark, with the always present hint of humour. One stray curl of hair was stuck to his right cheek.

Ben replied by hungrily kissing his neck, little moans of desperate pleasure escaping his lips.

“Oh yes...” Poe moved faster, until his fingers and the feel of his body, became too much for Ben's overstimulated senses.

“Oh Poe!” He cried out, biting down hard into his neck, as he felt himself utterly overcome, releasing inside the tight body. Still shaking, he looked up, to Poe smirking down to him, erection still nestled between his legs. He reached up, to feel the mark on Poe's neck, unsure whether to feel proud or sorry. Poe leant down, kissing him on the mouth, as Ben slowly slid out.

“My turn,” Poe grinned.

“Yes, Poe I want you,” Ben eagerly responded.

Poe position himself, then slowly slid into him. He hooked his legs around Poe's waist, as their tongues lapped in unequalled frenzy, and Poe started thrusting, slowly at first, as Ben had with him, before picking up speed.

“Is this what you were hoping for?” Poe asked, kissing his ear and thrusting harder.

“Hm... let's see, well, partially, I was hoping to get my beautiful boyfriend naked and either have him take me, or take him and to have a rather spectacular orgasm. From that point-of-view it was very much what I was hoping for.”

“You said 'partially'.”

“I was also hoping that my beautiful boyfriend would also have a rather spectacular orgasm.”

Poe groaned, picking up the pace of his thrusts. Ben could hear the slap slap of their bodies together.

“Oh... oh...”

Ben looked into his face. Poe was slightly flushed, a line of sweat moving down his temple.

“Ah.. ah...”

His mouth widened, the flush becoming darker.

_By the maker, you're so beautiful._

“Ben!” He thrust forward once more, and Ben felt the warmth of his release, inside of him, before Poe collapsed on top of him, panting, as he carefully slid out.

“Alright,” Poe looked up, grinning. “I suggest we shower and then see your mum. Part one of today's plan.”

“That's a good idea,” Ben said, smiling, watching Poe take the robe off the end of the bed and hand it to himself, before grabbing his own and pulling it on. The communal shower was a short walk down the hall. Poe started to walk to the door.

“Poe!”

Poe turned to him, expectantly. Ben climbed off the bed, stepped up to him and pulled him into his arms, feeling the need to simply embrace him, once more. Poe placed his arms around him, his embrace tight, strong.

“I love you, so much.” Ben kissed the top of his head.

“I know, I love you too. But you already knew that.” He could feel Poe's smile.

Both pulled away. “Sweetums,” Poe grinned.

“I take it back. I take it all back.”

“No take-backsies. Come on, gorgeous, the world awaits.”

Ben stopped him again, with a hand on his arm.

“I want to be truly a part of your Resistance. I mean it. Now that I'm on your side, I'm truly on your side. I will to everything I can, to take down anyone who is actively working against us.”

Poe grabbed his hand and kissed it.

“Spoken like a true Resistance member,” Poe said.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter- Epilogue


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! This has been fun to write. From a single chapter PWP, this has branched out to an almost novel-sized fic, and I am happy to have completed it. Thank you to all who have read/sent kudos/commented.
> 
> Warnings in this chapter for very mild consensual bondage. :)

_And so the fight begins again..._

Poe stood before the centre console, arms folded, a slight frown on his face, as he looked around at the people gathered in the main operations room. The expressions on the faces of his colleagues very much echoed his disquiet. The only two who appeared calm, yet steely-eyed, were Leia and Ben.

The Resistance had known that the First Order would, at some point, start to rebuild their armada, once more. They did not, however, adequately calculate how quickly it would take for the enemy to start to increase in strength. Merely a month after Rey had left, Resistance spies had returned with unsettling information; strong rumours persisted that key remaining First Order personnel were kidnapping young children and teenagers again, in order to train storm-troopers The purported first site, for the kidnapping, was the main village on the planet of Okaporinga, situated on the edges of the galaxy.

“If this only happened a few days ago, then the First Order would have already moved on,” a trickle of sweat ran down Finn's forehead, as he spoke to the group. “However there will be a main base, somewhere else, where the majority of training will be taking place.”

“I think the solution is obvious,” Poe said. “We send a small team to Okaporinga, to obtain more information as to what happened.”

“Hold on a second,” the commander to his left spoke. “This information has not been verified. We could be walking into a trap!”

“Well, the team will just be extra careful, then. I volunteer,” Poe said. His worry concerning this news did not cease him from wanting to help.

“So do I,” Finn said, instantly.

“If they are kidnapping children again, then I say it is our moral duty to find out as much as we can, to stop this from happening,” Leia said. “Very well, Poe and Finn. I agree that you will have to be very covert.”

“I volunteer as well,” Ben said. “If it is a potential trap, my powers could be of great use.”

It was subtle, but Poe caught it; for a moment, Leia's eyes flashed with anxiety. It was clear that she was weighing up her fear for her son, over the potential benefits, for the Resistance.

“Very well, then, Ben.”

Chewbacca growled and BB8 also gave a little tweet.

“Alright, that's five then. More than enough, for a so-called covert mission.”

*

Okaparinga was a small forest planet of only a few thousand inhabitants. Upon disembarking the X-Wing, Poe queried whether the intelligence, from the Resistance spies, was correct. The village that they approached was very rustic, consisting of a dozen or so wood-thatched huts, the largest of which was three stories high and sat at the end of a dirt road. The only occupants of the village, appeared to be a few stray gualamas, which stood, attached to beams, out the front of what Poe assumed was the local pub.

As Ben stepped ahead of the others and stood, in the centre of the dirt street, looking about, Poe amused himself with the thought that even in a small village like this, there had to be a pub. No inhabitant of the area came out to greet them, or even to ask why they were there. Poe was starting to find the situation rather eerie.

Ben suddenly took out his lightsaber and switched it on. Though he was now dressed in the simple green shirt and trousers of the Resistance, a power radiated off him that was conceivably more fitting with the black clothes of his former Kylo Ren self.

Ben opened his mouth to speak and Poe already knew what he was about to say.

“It's a trap!”

Laser shots suddenly started firing from every direction. Poe, Finn and Chewbacca lunged close to the ground, splitting up in three directions to find cover, with BB8 following Poe.  Rushing to leap behind a fallen down tree trunk, Poe fired back, in the direction of the shots.

He felt his heart almost explode out of his chest, when he saw that Ben was completely in the open, and was twisting and turning this way and that, using his lightsaber, to block the shots from hitting his torso. To his right, Finn was positioned behind a tree and was trading gunfire with a storm-trooper. To his left, Chewbacca was likewise hidden in some shrubbery and was firing back.

“Ben!” Poe cried out, firing more shots, only to have a piece of bark next to him explode. On instinct, Poe turned and fired, taking out the storm-trooper standing right behind him. Another instantly took his place, firing at him. Poe realised, at that point, that his hiding spot was no use, as he was getting hit at, from both sides. He stood up, and took out three storm-troopers in front of him, then spun around and took out two behind. Another, with his gun raised was suddenly shot down, by Finn. Poe spun around, to fire at three rushing out from behind a thatched hut. The three were suddenly flung back, hitting the hut hard, then fell, motionless, to the ground. Poe momentarily glanced at Ben, confirming that he had his palm out and was clearly using the Force, to throw storm-troopers around, while the other, lightsaber hand was continuing to block any shots fired in his direction. As Poe continued to fire at the storm-troopers firing back at them, he saw that Ben was suddenly curling his hand inwards, drawing the storm-troopers that he had knocked out, or otherwise disabled, to the clearing, where he was standing. After about a dozen or so of the men were now standing, in the centre, he continued to hold his hand up, now using the Force to keep them there, hostage to him.

Another shot came towards Ben and he again parried it with his lightsaber. As the storm-trooper's head popped out from behind a wall, Poe fired. The storm-trooper fell down and did not move.

The shooting ceased, the fight over only within minutes of it beginning. Finn and Chewbacca came out from their cover and walked to the remaining storm-troopers that Ben kept in the centre of the path, relieving them of their weapons. BB8, who had been hiding behind the fallen tree trunk the entire time, very slowly rolled forward. Poe heard the sounds of doors opening, tiny green creatures cautiously stepping out but still keeping their distance.

“Kill us, then!” One storm-trooper said.

A few of the other storm-troopers screamed in horror. Poe thought of Jakku and glanced at Ben. His eyes appeared very dark, his mouth a thin line.

“We are not like you,” Ben said, placing his hand down and turning off his lightsaber, before reholstering it.

“We know who you are, who you both are,” another storm-trooper spoke. “FN2187 is nothing compared to the traitor that you are, Kylo Ren.”

“That is no longer my name.”

“I know all about you, traitor. You were Hux's bitch and now, rumour is, you've switched to be Poe Dameron's bitch.”

A few of the storm-troopers laughed.

“If taking a big hard cock is all that is needed to make you chance sides, I've got something sweet for you right here, slut!” Another storm-trooper said, grabbing at his crotch.

Poe suddenly realised that the atmosphere had somewhat changed. Even though they were captive of the Resistance, the clear contempt, for the man who had been Kylo Ren, was evident in some of the storm-troopers' glee at humiliating him.

Ben stepped up to the crotch-grabber. A few of the other storm-troopers whistled and laughed.

“Think he likes you!” One laughed, as Chewbacca growled.

“Pathetic little Ben Solo wants to play at-” The crotch-grabber started and then gasped, as Ben held up his hand, placing it close to his forehead, in a gesture that Poe found all-too familiar.

“Where is the base, in which you are training the children you are kidnapping?”

_So this is what is looks like._

The man started to scream, tears running down his face. Poe watched, both horrified and intrigued, recalling the absolute agony of when it was done to him. The man did not last as long as he did, however. Within less than a minute, Ben clearly had his answer. He withdrew, as the man collapsed, unconscious to the ground.

“Anyone else have anything to say to me?” Ben asked.

No one spoke.

“Good.” He gestured to the storm-trooper standing right beside the fallen one. “Pick up your friend.”

He then moved back to his comrades, a sheepish look on his face.

“I had to do it. It was necessary to obtain the information.”

“No complaints here,” Finn said.

Poe found that he could only nod.

_I agree but... damn..._

Ben turned back to the hostages. “Let the villagers decide their fate.”

“Sounds fair to me, “ Finn said, as Chewbacca assented.

The ground was suddenly swarmed with a flood of green, as about a hundred tiny creatures ran from every window and door, grabbing the storm-troopers and dragging them through the centre of the town and into the forest, beyond.

One stopped, to turn back to the Resistance members and speak, in their native language.

“He's thanking us,” Poe translated, before replying to the village elder, telling him that the Resistance would find their lost children, and return them. The village elder nodded, and started in the direction of the others.

The covert mission group then started to walk in the other direction, towards the X-Wing.

“I saw three planets. Starburst 7, Yawen 6 and Hoth,” Ben said. “Hundreds, if not thousands of the First Order survived the destruction of the second Starkiller Base and they are well into their operations. I saw hundreds of children, in military formation.”

Poe glanced at Finn, who flinched.

“Starburst 7 is massive. Do you think they may be planning on building yet another weapon?” Finn asked.

“That, I couldn't see, in the storm-trooper's mind. But, knowing them, yes, I think that's a fair assumption.”

“I agree,” Finn said, frowning.

“We need more intel,” Poe said. “A lot more.”

*

“It's alright, I can fix it!” Finn said, face set in determined expression. “Fifteen minutes.”

Upon arriving at the X-Wing, they realised that one of the storm-troopers had fired upon it, taking out the vertical thruster. Finn had been utterly determined to be the one to repair it. Although Poe had been teaching him about flying the craft, he was still rather sceptical, in regards to Finn's technical abilities.

“I dunno, Finn...”

“Plus I've got Chewbacca here. He can help.”

Chewbacca growled a yes.

_Fifteen minutes, huh?_

Poe glanced at Ben. Now that there was no longer any potential lethal danger to the group, his mind felt a little lighter, a little more free, to consider other matters-

-Such as how incredible Ben had been, how focused, standing in the open and parrying shot after shot, with his lightsaber. It almost felt as though he could have taken out all of the storm-troopers by himself. Yes, thinking on it now, he realised how... damned.... erotic... the sight was; Ben standing in the centre of the street, eyes almost black with concentration, dark curls blowing about his face.

“Fine then, fifteen minutes.” Poe bent down to face BB8. “See what you can do to help.”

He then signalled Ben, to follow.

They walked a short distance, away from the village, and into the forest that surrounded it. After a few minutes, they came upon a small cave, cut into the side of a mossy hill. Exploring inside, he found it to be about six metres deep, two high, cold and slightly damp.

_Good enough. I wouldn't expect it to be on par with a grand hotel suite._

“What do you-?” Ben began, only to be stopped, by Poe's frantic lips on his, his hands undoing his trousers, and reaching inside. Ben moaned, moving Poe until his back slammed up against the slimy cave wall, his hands relishing in their own exploring, of Poe's flesh.

“Yes, yes...” Poe said.

Ben suddenly took his hand from Poe's erection and pointed it at the cave entrance. A rock fell down, sealing it. Poe looked at him, curiously.

“I don't want to be disturbed,” Ben said.

“I don't know... might be kind of sexy... having someone accidentally come in on us.”

“Sexy if it was Finn? Or Chewbacca?”

“Point taken.” Poe then grabbed his hand and placed it in his mouth, licking all over Ben's cuticles, nails and knuckles, before moving it down to his entrance. Getting the idea, Ben slowly slipped his finger inside Poe, pressing firmly against his prostate.

“That's it...” Poe said. “Yes, yes...” He started to moan, in time to Ben's fingers, now stabbing at his prostate, the pleasure shooting through his flesh, spiralling from the very tip of his erection. Ben's fingers slowly started to stretch, to prepare him, as his lips found Poe's, his other hand frantically working on his erection.

“Wait, wait!” Poe said.

Ben instantly released him, stepping back.

_Not like that. Like this._

Poe turned around, bent over a little and placed his hands on the damp, crumbling wall of the cave.

“Oh Poe...” Ben moaned.

“Do it!” Poe demanded.

Ben was never one to deny him exactly what he wanted and this time was no exception _(except for that one time when you were drunk!_ ). Poe groaned, as he was filled, the hand again frantically stroking him, the other on his hip. He marvelled at how good it felt, how perfect; Ben's weight on his back, his free hand turning his head, so that their lips could touch, once more. Ben then started to move, thrusting in and out, slamming into his prostate with each delicious movement within him. Poe could hear their bodies slapping together, taste the coffee that Ben had that morning, at breakfast. He thrust back, in time to the movements within himself, feeling strong, powerful. He did not have the Force but he had Ben Solo's love, his lust, his caring. To him, that made him more powerful than any Jedi. They released lips and Ben started to suck on his shoulder.

_So good... so good..._

Ben's hand stroked him, the other travelling all over his chest, pinching at his nipples. For Poe's part he could not use his own hands, could only place them on the wall, for balance. It felt erotic, to be giving such absolute control, to his lover in such a way. Ben's lips went to his neck, whimpering into his flesh.

_Yes...that's it... that's it..._

“Oh... oh...” Poe flung his head back, gasping, as he rode through the strength of his orgasm, Ben stroking every last drop from him.

“Oh yes...” He felt his head being turned once more, Ben's mouth on his, tongue frantically penetrating, his movements now becoming more erratic within him. Ben pulled away and concentrated on his neck, once more, one hand around his waist, the other on his hip.

“Please... please... I want to feel it deep inside me.”

Ben's started to whimper louder, before suddenly crying out. Poe felt the warmth splurge inside of him and smiled to himself. ( _well that was... very nice indeed..._ ) Ben then carefully pulled out and both were silent, a moment, as they redressed themselves.

“Alright, we'd better-” Poe began but Ben stopped him with a lingering kiss on his lips.

“Are you sure you're ok with the mind-scan that I did of that storm-trooper today?” He asked, once they released, his hands still stroking Poe's hair.

“It obtained the information, didn't it? I agree with you. It had to be done.”

Ben pointed at the rock blocking the cave entrance and it exploded.

“You were awesome out there, today,” Poe said, grinning. “It was very... erotic.”

“ Really? I wouldn't have guessed that one,” Ben's sarcasm was clear. “I'm just glad none of us were hurt.”

*

By the time they returned to the X-Wing, Finn and Chewbacca were walking towards them. Poe could see, from just glancing at the craft, that they had fixed the problem.

“Well, that was-” Finn began.

“We need to go back,” Ben suddenly said. “Rey has returned.”

*

Seeing Rey and Ben standing next to each other, Poe was reminded of the fact that they were related. Though physically, they did not look the same, they shared similar gestures, ways of walking, even stances. At that moment, both stood with their back erect, their fingers curled inwards and with a clench-jawed, determined expression.

“Three planets, the largest of which is Starburst 7,” Admiral Ackbar said, to the gathered group of Resistance military elite standing around the centre console, which displayed a hologram of the ice planet. “If we are to undertake an operation of this magnitude, we will have to gather far more intel.”

“Finn,” Leia, standing beside Ackbar, turned to the young man. “You know more than anyone here, how the process works, in regards to the storm-trooper training. What can you tell us?”

As Finn stepped forward, from beside Rey's side and began to talk, Poe's mind momentarily went back to the moment that the millennium falcon had landed back on their planet. Finn had been the first to run forward, to be embraced by Rey. Leia had then followed. Ben had lingered back, besides Poe, waiting until everyone else had greeted her, before moving forward. Poe had noticed clear trepidation on his face, and in his strides.

“Cousin,” Rey had said, and then simply walked up to him and embraced him. He then appeared to relax, in her arms.

Yes, glancing at her now, there was a subtle difference in her bearing; the ever-present sorrow in her eyes was now replaced with an almost ethereal calm.

“...they favour amount over skill. Their theory is that if there is enough armed storm-troopers, the enemy will be overrun,” Finn said.

Another sergeant stepped forward. “Theoretically, it would be wise to attack now, while they are still rebuilding their empire. We know where they are. Plus, we have an advantage that they do not; we have two Jedi with us.”

“Which makes us a target,” Ackbar said. “Once they realise Rey has returned, then they will no doubt marshal their strategy into destroying both of them.”

“All the better reason to bring the fight to them,” the sergeant said.

“I will not unduly risk any of us without exploring all options,” Leia said. “I agree with Admiral Ackbar that we need to gather more intel. They will know that we know about them. This requires us being careful.”

“All because the storm-troopers on Okaporinga were spared, to run back to tell the First Order about us!” the sergeant grumbled.

“They were our hostages!” Poe felt the need to speak up. “We don't shoot hostages. We are not like them.”

“Your _boyfriend_ had no qualms about massacring innocent civilians,” the sergeant spat. “What I’m talking about is-”

“Sargent Walcon!” Leia said. “You are excused from this meeting.”

“Yes, general!” The man saluted, cast a glare at Ben and then departed the room.

Leia then turned her attention to both Ben and Rey.

“It is true. I fear for the safety of both of you, now that the First Order is aware of you.”

“We are not scared,” Rey said, eyes blazing. “Not for ourselves, anyway. I do agree that having two Jedi gives the Resistance an advantage.”

Leia's face was like stone but Poe knew her well enough to read concern, in her eyes. She turned back to Finn.

“How old were you, when you were taken from your home?”

“I'm not sure, I think about two,” Finn said, quietly.

Leia turned her attention to the rest of the group. “I want this operation to be careful. We must remember that there will be children, on these planets. I will not risk harm to them. I will organise an undercover mission, to gather intel from these and the surrounding planets. Miles and Targassan, you will lead it. Choose two more Resistance members each, to go with you.”

Both pilots nodded, then quickly hurried from the room.

“Rey, Ben, you two will be integral to this fight. I don’t need to have the Force to know this.”

Rey took Ben's hand. “We are ready.”

Ben nodded, bearing the same, steeled expression as his cousin.

*

“Poe! How come you're not drinking?” The fellow pilot clamped a sweaty hand around Poe's shoulder, face right up close to his, giving him a good dose of his beery breath.

“Because Ben won't have sex with me if I have any alcohol,” Poe said, lifting the glass of juice and two stouts off the bar top, before turning around.

The other pilot laughed, took his hand off Poe's shoulder and swung around, himself, to look in the far corner, where Rey and Ben appeared to be quietly conversing. A grinning Finn, beside Rey, was waving at Poe.

“Ben Solo just reeks of sex,” the pilot slurred. “I don't think he realises how many of us would screw him senseless, given the chance.”

Poe smirked. He was more than aware of the sly looks a fair few of the pilots more than occasionally gave in Ben's direction. While, in the past few weeks, his beloved was making progress in showing that he could be trusted, there were still some who regarded him as a traitor, the sergeant at the conference being a clear example.

Poe did find interesting, the fact that there seemed to be no distinction between the ones who gave Ben lustful looks trusting him, or not trusting him. Indeed, it seemed that some of the ones who openly slandered Ben in public, would also ogle him when he went past. Merely two days before, two of his fellow pilots had called out after Poe, as he was returning to his room.

“Your boyfriend is traitor scum, Poe. We're just trying to warn you. He will betray you. He'll betray us all.”

“Too bad,” the other pilot had shouted out to Poe. “I'm certain that stunning creature is a magnificent lay.”

A stunned Poe had turned back to them. “Too bad you'll never get the chance to find out.”

“If you're interested, I could show you both a good time,” the pilot before him now raised a brow.

The pilot was handsome, in a big jawed, big muscled kind of way. Perhaps at one point, in the past, Poe would have taken him up on the idea.

“Thanks but I’ll pass,” Poe said.

The pilot's eyes widened slightly.

“Damn, you're in love with him aren't you? Never thought I’d see it. Poe Dameron in love.”

“I'd better get back,” Poe said, smiling.

He moved back through the crowd, sitting himself back beside Finn, as he plonked the three drinks in front of Finn, Rey and himself.

“...certain there has to be more,” Ben, still cupping, in his hand, the juice he'd been drinking for the past hour, said to Rey. “We can't be the last ones. I think that it's possible that it could just arise spontaneously. It seemed to do that with my... with our grandfather.”

“ _Our_ grandfather. It's funny how to begin with, I didn’t make that connection,” Rey said.

“Jedi talk,” Finn said, smiling. Poe could count every one of his teeth.

“We should talk about something that they don’t know anything about.”

“Like what?” Finn asked.

“Piloting?”

Finn pointed his head towards Rey and Poe laughed.

“We don't get a break, do we?” Finn said. “Already, we're about to launch yet another mission to defeat the First Order... or what's left of it.”

“Exciting, isn't it?” Poe grinned.

“You live for this, don't you?” Finn asked. “The excitement, the adrenaline of risking your life.”

“I do love my job, it's true,” Poe admitted. “But there are other things I would love to do, other than continually defend the galaxy; there are a few planets I've yet to visit. One in particular is home to the largest collection of flora in the galaxy. I have always wanted to go. Ben and I have been talking about it, actually. It's rather difficult to get to but, with my piloting skills...”

“You'll get there.”

“Get where?” Rey asked.

“Teknesis. It's a planet with the largest collection of flora in the galaxy,” Poe answered her querying glance.

“Poe has developed in me an appreciation of plant life, through his own love of the subject,” Ben admitted. “I admit, as a scholar, I found the subject dreadfully boring.”

“Well, I don’t know anything about plants,” Finn said.

“Well, as you all know, I grew up on a desert planet. So, no, me neither,” Rey said.

“We're not _all_ going!” Poe said, feeling a little exasperated. At his feet, BB8 gave a whirr of excitement.

“Oh no, I wasn't saying-” Rey began.

“Alright, alright... when... if we ever have any time off, we can all visit the planet...And here I was, hoping to have a romantic getaway... just us two,” Poe mumbled.

BB8 gave a little sound displaying her joy at the premise. Ben looked at him, with clear surprise, in his eyes.

“Honestly, Poe, I don't think any of us were offering to join you,” Finn said.

“Well, now I’m thinking about it, it might be a fun idea. All five of us, including BB8 going on a trip somewhere... without people firing at us.”

“Well,I wouldn't say no to that!” Finn said. BB8 whirred with delight.

Ben and Rey suddenly caught eyes. Poe couldn't be certain but it was more than possible that they were communicating with their minds. Ben's sudden smile lit up his face, causing Poe to simultaneously want to freeze the moment, and capture its beauty for all eternity, and to take Ben to bed, as soon as possible. They continued to lock eyes a few more seconds, before Rey also smiled.

“Ok what's this freaky stuff all about? You two are reading each other's minds, aren't you?” Finn asked.

“I just....You and Ben are so obviously in love...” Rey said, to Poe, a slight blush discolouring her cheeks. “It's just so incredibly cute. I was just telling Ben how happy I am to see him happy and whole.”

Ben's eyes caught Poe's, as his hand slid under the table, to grasp his.

*

As soon as Poe closed the door, Ben pounded on him, lips pressed tightly on his, as he pushed him back against the door, dropping to his knees and pulling down his uniform trousers and boxers. Poe flung his head back and groaned, allowing Ben to take control with his lips and tongue. He gently ran his fingers through his hair as Ben took him further into his mouth. He started to gag, so pulled back, wrapping his lips and sucking hard, head furiously bobbing up and down.

“Need more... need more...” Poe urged.

Ben stood and pulled his green shirt up and off, as Poe did the same, before stepping out of his trousers and boxers.

“Do you trust me?” Poe asked.

Ben nodded. His dark eyes were so vulnerable ( _so beautiful..._ ). Poe took Ben's arms and gently placed them behind his back, using his own shirt to tie them together. Ben started panting, his eyes now almost all iris.

“Damn you are something special...” Poe said, as he quickly took off his own boots.

“And what do you think _you_ are?” Ben asked.

 “Onto the bed,” Poe said, smirking.

Ben walked over and Poe gently urged him down, face forward, onto the bed.

“Poe?” Ben asked.

“It's alright. You trust me, don't you?” Poe asked, unlacing Ben's boots.

“Yes.”

“I will never hurt you,” Poe said, taking off one boot, then the other. He then unzipped Ben's trousers and underwear, pulling them off, before taking the time to visually devour his lover's body.

_He truly is dripping in sex._

Poe kissed first his left, then right buttock, before gently prying them open and licking at his opening. Ben groaned, tied hands twitching. Encouraged, Poe kissed his hole, and then stuck his tongue inside.

“Oh...” Ben sighed.

As Poe then started to alternate using his lips and tongue to pleasure his partner, Ben grinded into the mattress.

“Please Poe, please... need you...”

Poe jumped up and grabbed the lube, covering both of his hands with it. As he tenderly readied Ben with his fingers, his other hand reached around and started to stroke him, in time with his movements inside of him, feeling his own erection poke into his stomach, as the sight, feel and sounds that Ben was making.

“Please, do it, do it!”

Poe took out his fingers, turned Ben over onto his back, and then placed the fingers inside himself, stretching, readying himself, as he poured more of the lube onto Ben's erection. Ben's eyes widened, as Poe then moved on top, allowing the thick appendage to slide deep inside himself.

“Poe...” Ben moaned, as Poe started to grind up and down, on his erection.

“Is this good?”

“Mmm...”

Poe closed his eyes, giving in to the overwhelming sensations flooding through him.

“Poe... ah... ah...”

Poe opened his eyes. Ben's face was flushed, dark eyes fixed on his.

_Damn, Ben, what you do to me..._

Poe grinned, using his powerful leg muscles to move with even more vigor. Ben closed his eyes, gasping louder, his body trembling, as Poe felt him spasm, the warmth of his release rushing inside of him.

“That was... that was...”

“I know...” Poe said, climbing off him and releasing his hands from the tied shirt.

“That was a bit naughty... I liked it...” Ben said. “But you're still...”

He reached out and started tugging Poe's erection.

“Yes, I guess I'll have to do something about that,” Poe said, as he lay his body on top of his lover's and gently pried his legs apart, before tenderly gaining entrance. Ben looked up at him with such utter trust and vulnerability that Poe felt a flood of warmth encircle his heart.

“You...” he said, as he started slowly thrusting.

“Me what?” Ben asked, looking up to him.

Poe reached down to touch his cheek, admiring the curve of his face, the fullness of his lips, the dark eyelashes.

_Others want Ben but he chose me. But then, what choice was there, really?_

“There is no choice, not for me,” Ben said.

“You're reading my mind, again?” Poe said.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to,” An adorable flush crept over Ben's cheeks. Poe leant down, kissing him, increasing the rate of his thrusts. He could feel Ben's hands, travelling over his back, gripping at his buttocks. Poe buried his face in his neck, nuzzling the stubble there, running his hands through Ben's soft hair.

_…. everything about him..._

No, Poe suddenly realised that wasn't his thought.

“What about me?” He asked, moving up to kiss under Ben's chin.

“Everything,” Ben said. “Just everything.”

“Everything is good? Or everything is bad?” Poe couldn't help but tease him. “Everything makes you want to punch me in the face?”

Ben grabbed Poe's chin, forcing him to look at him. “I love and adore everything about you. Even the not so perfect aspects.”

“Hey, I'm perfect...” Poe grinned, leaning down to kiss his lips.

“Well, mostly...”

Poe allowed himself to be overtaken by the pleasure of the flesh beneath him, the tight heat he was pounding into. As he felt himself overcome, he flung his head back and cried out, moaning, as he came down from his high. He then carefully removed himself from the loose body, collapsing on top of Ben, gently nuzzling his chest.

“I was thinking...” Ben said, after a few minutes of quiet bliss.

“Mmm?” Poe placed his head up, to look down at him.

“I was thinking about light and dark. Or rather, grey. I've given a lot of thought to grey, of late. I don't think I'm entirely of the light side. Nor is Rey. I think the Skywalkers have struggled with the concepts of light and dark because maybe there is always grey, even in the purest of the light... I don't know. Maybe I’m just talking nonsense.”

“I believe in the Resistance,” Poe said. “I believe that we are in the right. Nothing will change that, for me. However, when I think about, say, Finn...ex-storm-trooper, taken from his home. What choice did he have, really? What choice did any of them have? And yet we happily destroy them. You once told me that I take great pleasure in it. Overall, I believe we did the right thing. But the in-between bits, the death of thousands of storm-troopers... yes, that's the grey area. I can't imagine they were _all_ evil. Some would have been Hux's sure but some would have also been Finn's.”

“Hux wasn't evil,” Ben said. “I think he was also, in his own way, a product of his conditioning. I also think, in his own way, he truly did love me-”

“To him, love was possession and control.”

“Because that's all he knew.”

“Still didn't make it right. Ben, he threatened to violate and kill you! That is not love. Besides, the man blew up billions of people without an ounce of regret. You're not going to convince me that he wasn't evil. If you put his face, with a bullseye on it, on the poster for joining the Resistance, the membership would triple!”

“You could have done the same with Kylo Ren.”

He's referring to Kylo in the third person, Poe suddenly realised.

_That is a very good thing._

“Perhaps that's true. Kylo Ren was rather unliked, in the Resistance,” Poe said.

“I know quite a few of the Resistance still don't trust me. That's alright. I know I must earn it, that for the rest of my life, I'll be paying my dues. That's fair.”

“A lot _do_...” Poe laughed. “In fact, a lot more than like you.”

Ben appeared puzzled.

“The exotic, striking looking newbie... They want you.... can't blame them for that.”

An odd, alarmed look suddenly came over Ben's face.

“Poe, I don't... I'm not even looking at them...”

“Oh I'm not worried about that,” Poe said. “Even if you did find someone that was a better fit, I wouldn't resent you, or get all possessive. I would be utterly heartbroken, now doubt. I would just ask that you would tell me about it, rather than go behind my back.”

Ben's look now turned to straight horror. “I don't want anyone else! I can't see myself ever finding a better fit, as you say.”

“I know, I know. Nor do I. I guess I'm trying to say that I don't own you, the way Hux was trying to. I love your autonomy, the part that makes you, you. The part that makes his own decisions, is his own person. I think it's terrible, for so long that other people have tried to force you to their own agenda. Plageus. Hux. But you broke free. Because you're awesome.”

Ben looked at Poe as if he was a new Jedi Lord, come to the planet, to bless him.

“Yes, yes, I know I'm pretty amazing, too.”

“If you keep going this way, I'm going to have an ego as big as yours,” Ben said.

“Not possible,” Poe laughed.

“But honestly, though. I meant what I said before. I can't imagine ever being with anyone else. You're just... I've never met anyone quite like you. There are no words to explain how incredible you are,” Ben lifted his hand and started to kiss each of his knuckles.

“Poe Dameron...” He then rested Poe's hand on his face, closing his eyes.

A thought suddenly entered Poe's mind.

_Beloved Poe..._

Poe stared down at him, a smile curling up his lips. The upcoming fight against the First Order seemed far away, in that moment. He was with his own beloved Ben and all was good.

_More than that. Everything is fantastic._

“Love me?” He asked.

“You know I do,” Ben replied.

Poe leant down, to take Ben's lips in a lingering kiss.

*

Ben felt the cobwebs of sleep drift from his eyes. He accustomed to the pale blue light of the rising sun, before realising the light was also coming from another source. Willing himself to full consciousness, he sat up, and gasped.

Standing before the bed, were the glowing, transparent visages of both Luke and Anakin. Ben glanced down to Poe, sleeping soundly beside him, then looked back up again. The smiling Luke and Anakin looked radiant, happy. Ben stared back, feeling his own smile grace his lips, a great warmth fill his heart. Beside him, Poe murmured, stirred. Ben glanced down to him, once more. Poe's eyes flicked open, then closed again. Ben then looked back up, to a now empty room.

A voice suddenly came into his head, that of his grandfather's.

_Do not be afraid. The Resistance will defeat the First Order. And you will take the others to Teknesis, as you have wished. But there will always be evil to be defeated. But you and Poe, and Rey and Finn will be there, to meet it._

The room became deathly quiet, and Ben knew that Luke and Anakin had left.

Poe murmured, his eyes flicking open and staying open.

_Beloved Poe....Beautiful man..._

“What's happening?” He sounded sleepy.

Ben grinned down, grabbed him and gently hauled him up, to kiss him on his lips. Poe moaned, responding.

“What's happening is I’m going to make love to you now, starting by kissing every part of your flesh, until you're begging me to take you. Then I’m going to slide into you nice and slow, or you can have me, if you would prefer-”

“Either way!” Poe's face was delightfully pink with arousal. “Just less talk, more action.”

“Just answer me this, first. You love me?”

“You know I do.”

Ben did not even need to hear his answer, to read it in his eyes.

Nice to hear it confirmed, anyway, Ben thought, as he threw the blanket off Poe, and started to use his mouth and hands, to make good on his promise.

In the next few weeks, months and perhaps even years, the Resistance would be fighting the First Order, this time with him on their side. He was prepared. They would succeed, he now had no doubt.

“Oh... that's good,” Poe said.

But, for now, defeating the First Order would have to wait. He had his incredibly gorgeous pilot boyfriend to attend to.

_Fin._


End file.
